CHAPTER NINE | USELESS
AMANDA WRIGHT
On my way, I tripped on air and fall to my feet. It wouldn't have been that bad if not for the fact that I accidentally poured hot coffee on my hot boss beautiful face.
"What the fuck is your problem? Are you trying to kill me you crazy bitch?" He yells as he hurriedly run to the his bedroom due to the burning of the coffee while I just watch him go like I am stuck in a trance.
Well, that didn't go well.
"I am so sorry, I don't know what is wrong with me." I cry as I hurriedly rush to my feet.
It wasn't my intention to hurt him even though he is an asshole that deserves it.
"You can't even walk properly, how then are you going to work perfectly." He says to himself.
I try to help him clean off the coffee stain but one look for him makes me back down.
Since it's obvious that I am not wanted, I decide to leave. "I will just go do other stuff." I inform him in a whisper.
"Have you brought me my coffee…have I drank my coffee?" He asks.
"Hummm…no?"
"So what other stuff do you want to do without bringing me my coffee and breakfast first?" He inquires.
Grateful that he didn't fire me for the incidence, I nod my head and eagerly go make him the coffee and his breakfast.
Now, the thing is that I don't know how to cook, but I have watched enough movies to know what to do.
I decided to make scrambled eggs. Going to work immediately, I hum to myself.
Putting the pan on the stove, I pour a small amount of water in it before allowing the water to fry for a little while. Then, I drop the eggs into the pan as hard as I cam so thag they would break inside the pan. After, I take a potato masher and mash the eggs slowly.
No food is complete without sugar therefore I add sugar to it. I also add orange juice to my scrambled eggs cause I love being healthy. Finally, I slice cucumbers and carrots into it and leave it to steam for a few minutes.
Just like magic, my healthy scrambled eggs is ready. Proud of the fact that I cooked perfectly at my first try, I do a little spin, squealing like a kid who got asked out by her crush before taking the food to him in the pan. That way, he'll be able to eat it while it is still hot.
He facepalms once he sees me coming to him with the pan.
I guess I should have put it in a plate, but I don't want it to get cold. I'm sure he won't think I'm stupid one he taste the delicious food I made for him.
"Your breakfast is served my kind Sir." I sat with a small bow, placing the food on the table.
He is obviously not kind, I'm just saying that to pacify him.
"What the fuck is this?" He gags.
'What the fuck is what? Is there a cockroach or spider in the food? I didn't add them while I was cooking did I?' I wonder as I examine the meal I cooked.
"The delicious breakfast of scrambled egg in the healthy way that I made for you." I respond.
He gags again before storming out of the dinning room and into the kitchen. I follow him with a face clouded with confusion.
"Is something wrong?" I ask, totally clueless.
"Have you ever eaten scrambled eggs?"
I frown, wondering what sort of silly question he is asking. "Of course I have."
"All the scrambled eggs you have been eating, have you ever seen anyone that looks like the shit you made?"
My frown becomes deeper and I rush to get the food to examine it more. "I haven't but that is only because mine is the healthiest scrambled eggs in the world. I am that good at cooking."
I smile again, proud of myself. I really deserve an award for cooking this perfectly at my first try.
Tim places both his hands on his waist as he stares at me in disbelief for a reason I can't fathom. "So you think you made something delicious and edible?" He asks.
"Of course I did." I proudly state.
He takes a spoon which I forgot to take along while serving him his food and hands it over to me. "Since you are so sure about it, then do me the favour of eating it first."
I don't think twice or hesitate before taking the spoon from him and scooping a large amount of scrambled eggs into it. I put it into my mouth but stop immediately it is sitting on my tongue.
Abort! Abort mission!
My pride again doesn't let me spit it out immediately it enters my mouth. I ignore the protest of my tongue and slowly bite the shit I cooked.
Biting it even though I knew I prepared rubbish is probably one of the worst decisions I have ever made in my life…next to trying to get married to Marcus Stewart.
The smell of the eggs alone made me feel like gagging and I find it crazy that I didn't notice the awful smell before now. Taking a bite is something I will always regret for the rest of my life. The texture was all wrong - rubbery and slimy at the same time. And then I felt something crunchy - an eggshell! I spat it out, horrified. The taste lingers in her mouth, taunting me with its foulness. I don't think I will ever be able to eat eggs again.
The scrambled eggs are so awful that they can only be described as a crime against humanity. Each bite is a punishment, as though my taste buds were being sentenced to life in a prison of flavourless mush. The sugar seems to be mocking me, taunting me with its presence. And the texture was like a soggy tissue, disintegrating in my mouth. It is a culinary disaster of epic proportions, and it was made by me.
I should be ashamed of myself. I should just go ahead and bury myself In the deepest part of the ocean for this poison I made.
"So,how did your delicious healthy scrambled eggs taste?" Tim asks in a taunting manner.
I look anywhere but his face. "Awful." I whisper.
"What was that you said? I didn't hear?"
"It tasted like shit…literally." I say as I burst into tears as awful as my cooking.
Not expecting my reaction, Tim is confused on what to do. "Shit I didn't mean to make you mad, stop crying."
Unlike he was expecting me to do, I cry harder than I was before. "I am so fucking useless, I can't do anything. No wonder I got dumped on my wedding day. I mean who would want someone as useless as I am as a wife. I the fuck am I supposed to take care of a household and children when I can't do anything right? Little wonder Marcus Stewart left me."
I was expecting Tim to add more insults to my already broken spirit like the sadist he is, but he doesn't.
With a sigh, Tim takes the pan out of my hand and throws the shitty scrambled eggs where it belongs - in the trash. He washes the pan and places it back on the stove.
With a signal for me to come over, he starts taking the ingredients for scrambled eggs out. "Here, I'll teach you all you don't know. Hope you are a fast learner."
I watch Tim crack the eggs into the bowl, their golden yolks glisten like small suns. He whisks them vigorously, adding a splash of milk and a pinch of salt. Turning on the stove, the pan begins to heat up. The egg mixture is poured into the pan, and it sizzles and bubbles. Slowly, he stirs the eggs, his movements measured and methodical. The eggs begin to set, and he adds a pat of butter, which melts and glistens. I watch in amazement as the eggs change from a liquid to a solid.
Wow! Although he didn't say anything I understood everything. Who would have thought it is this easy to make scrambled eggs.
"It feels like a magical trick." I say with a small smile.
He rolls his eyes and turns on the stove. "I think you should leave the cooking to me. You can watch me cook until you learn how to. I don't want to get food poisoning. You can clean can't you?"
I scowl at his question, of course I can clean. The only chore I did while growing up was cleaning my own room. The only reason I did that was because my stepmom managed to convince my dad that I was old enough to clean my room myself. If it were up to my dad, I won't even poop by myself.
"Of course I can clean. What do you take me for?" I say, offended.
He rolls his eyes and goes to make the coffee I forgot to make for him out of the excitement of cooking for the first time. "Go into my office and clean the table. Be careful though, there are some important documents that shouldn't be tampered with."
I nod my head and go straight to my chore. His table wasn't that dusty but the documents were dusty. I decided to give them a proper cleaning by dipping them with water and a rag so that the dust would go away.
Half way through the process, Tim walks in and I get startled. The bucket of water I placed on the table is hit by my hand and tilts to the side. Before I can blink, everything on Tim's table is soaked in water.
"What have you done?"