CHAPTER ELEVEN | KISS ME
AMANDA
"Growing up, I really didn't have anyone to teach me everything I am doing now. My mother wasn't mentally stable, my father was focusing on his own family and my stepdad was not even in the picture. I had two sisters so I had to grow up pretty quickly to be able to take care of them. I had to learn how to do all this myself."
If there is one thing that moves any females heart faster than flowers, it is definitely a sob story from a hot bad guy. Every girl loves a bad boy with an ugly past.
As if the fact that I wasn't already imagining things with him wasn't bad enough, I start picturing hugging him, patting his back, and whispering soothing words to his eyes after he tells me a little bit of his background.
"Amanda, are you even listening to me?" He asks me.
"Kiss me."
Awkward silence is all I could hear after blurting that out…an awkward and tense silence that a knife can cut through.
Why the fuck did I say that? Stupid! Stupid! Stupid Amanda!
Every second I spend with Timothy Anderson makes me pray for the ground to open up and swallow me. Have I always been this bad at holding back my stupid thoughts and actions or is it that this man right here brings out the worst part of me? Could I possibly have a crush on him?
Yeah, I admit that he is as hot as the hottest part of hell but I have never been one of those silly girls that fall in love with a guy because of his looks. I think I am better than that.
I should have just kept my mind shut until I am in the right state of mind to speak without embarrassing myself due to my sudden crush on my boss.
I was expecting him to laugh at me, insult me or do something that would make me more embarrassed than I already am but to my surprise, he does the exact opposite.
Tim moves closer to me until he is just a few inches away from my face. Our breath mixes together due to how close we are.
He is bending down so that we can be eye to eye. I didn't realise he is this tall until now.
I stare into his gorgeous eyes, seeing depts of it I have never seen in anyone's eyes before. His inviting lips are so beautifully close that the urge to crush mine on them is the only thing that dominates my mind. The fear of rejection stops me from kissing him immediately, I don't want to be embarrassed more than I have already been embarrassed today. I think I have had enough embarrassment to last me a week.
"Did you really mean that? You would really like to kiss me? What is stopping you?" He says with a serious face.
Is he seriously serious? Can I really kiss him? Is he really giving me the permission to do so? Am I in a lovely dream where I get to kiss those heavenly lips only to wake up to see that the only thing it was is a dream.
"Do you really want me to kiss you?" I shakily ask him.
"Like I said earlier, what is stopping you?"
I am this close to connecting our lips when he shifts his head back and bursts into laughter.
"You tell it so well, I guess you weren't as smart as I thought you are…you are probably only business smart." He says amidst laughter.
I have been patient but right now, I am tired of being patient. It is either the ground opens up and swallows me or I dig the ground and enter it myself. This embarrassment can kill the strongest man on earth.
I should have known that he was only pulling my legs. He rejected my proposal yesterday after all. He also laughed at me when I called myself sexy and beautiful. That means he doesn't find me attractive and would definitely not want to have anything to do with me sexually.
I really am stupid.
"Can you just continue the fucking training?" I say rudely.
He must have seen the anger on my face and noticed that I am about to cry because his laughter seizes and he picks up the duster.
"Like I was saying earlier, growing up wasn't the most pleasant experience for me. I had a mother who was an alcoholic and would notice the fact that a sip of her drink had been taken before noticing that her children were missing or dead. Since my father and my sisters father weren't also in the picture, I had to take the position of both a mother and a father to my two younger siblings. I had to learn how to cook, clean, be responsible and even do some illegal things like forging my mother's signature for their school stuff. I didn't have the chance to play or hang out with the other kids. While my classmates were partying and getting girlfriends, I was busy helping my sister sort out her first time seeing her period, or her first heartbeat, first boy problem, and other stuff like that. It was definitely not an easy thing to do but I did it easily because I loved my siblings. In school, I was seen as the proud loner who had no money. No matter how much I liked a girl, I couldn't approach her to ask her out because I didn't want anything to distract me from my self-employed job of taking care of my siblings. I had to balance school, my work at a store and taking care of my siblings so I didn't need any other thing to be added to my list. It didn't really help that most of the financial burdens of the house were also my responsibility. At a point in my life, I started stealing just to make sure my siblings don't starve to death."
He finishes his story with a small stiff smile. The look of sadness in his eyes makes me want to hug the life out of him. I would do so if not for the fact that he is a fucking asshole. I won't be surprised if he tells me he fooled me and laughs in my face if I try to hug him.
"How are you sister's now?" I cautiously ask.
His face immediately lit up at my question. "They are both fine. One is in her final year in college while the other is a college freshman. They are both in the United Kingdom, they refused to study here for whatever reason."
The look of pure joy and love on his face makes me happy and encourages me to keep going. "Tell me about them."
"Well, the older one is Brittney and she is a bundle of joy. A little crazy but matured and confident. She looks after her sister and I like that her life depends on it. She still calls me every morning to remind me to drink lots of water and eat healthily. She is nice to everyone but once you get on her bad side, then just know you signed up for a death wish. Brenda is the last child and heaven knows she is a little bit too much to handle. I guess we pampered her a little too much cause she grew up to be an annoying brat who enjoys parting crazily and breaking men's hearts. She thinks she is the queen of the world and acts like it. Notwithstanding, she is still one of the kindest and easy going girls you will ever meet. She brings the meaning, 'Sweet but a psycho to life.' She loves us more than she loves life herself and is willing to do anything to see that we are happy even though she always tries to hide it."
I smile gently, already picturing how beautiful his sisters would be. "They sound like chaotic angels."
"Exactly! That is the perfect word to use in describing them. If Cupid once shot arrows filled with love and a side of chaos, then it definitely landed on both my sisters. They are both beautifully crazy."
I have never seen someone's eyes light up this much. The pure love in his eyes is almost making me cry. If only that love can be transferred to me, then half of my life problems would be over.
I think it's high time I admit that I might have a little crush on my boss…maybe a little too much crush on him. The craziest part is that it happened in such a short while. I wonder how much I will be crazy about him if I stay two months in his home.
I really need to get my shit together because I'll only get rejected and hurt at the end of the day.
"How about your mother? Where is she not."
The atmosphere that was previously filled with love and good memories suddenly drops to a tense silence. The tense silence is so thick that it would be as if I am trying to break past a wall if I try to break it.
Shit! I should have said something. I would have noticed it was a sour topic for him if only I paid attention to him while he was talking.
"You have a phone don't you?" He suddenly inquiries after staying quiet for a while.
Slowly bringing my phone out of my pocket, I show it to him. "Yes, I do."
"Then why don't you stop displaying your idiocy to the world and make use of it to learn basic things anyone in the world would know except a morally disabled bitch like you. I pay you to work for me and ask stupid questions."
He walks out before I can process his words or react to them.
I would kill that rude asshole if I could.