"Husband come cave-hole." Truffle answered her. "Show Husband mushrooms, Husband give name. Husband think me most tasty mushroom!"
"Husband not wrong. Already more mushroom than goblin in head." The goblin who entered happened to be Bone-taker, and also on the menu today for impregnation. "Want me come back later?"
"Husband, only Truffle give big seed to?" Truffle asked me in an unintentionally seductive way.
"Hmm, I did promise to give both of you big seed. Is it okay if she stays?"
"Yes! Stay! Husband give big seed too!" She said happily to her… friend?
"Give big seed now?"
"Maybe a name too if you'd like."
"Husband give name?"
"Uh-huh. Husband say name Truffle!"
"What name give?" Bone-picker asked me with some visible enthusiasm at the prospect.
"Do you want your name now?"
"Me want!" she said greedily.
"Then I will call you Ivory. In human words it means pretty bones. Many humans also collect bones from creatures and display them in their outside-caves for friends who come to visit to enjoy looking at." I explained.
She seemed to be enamored by the name I gave her, probably because it was related to bones.
Ivory's original intention for visiting Truffle was to have the resident Mushroom-picker examine the ones she found while out hunting, to see if they were safe to eat. So, I let Truffle sit up and take the mushrooms which looked a bit shriveled up and had gaps that looked like holes. Was it a morel mushroom?
"Dirt-meat mushroom." She said after receiving one and fingering the whole mushroom. "Find by great tree?"
"Yes. Hiding from black-claws up in big tree until leave. Saw mushroom growing and take for eating. Not eat. Listen say not eat mushrooms until show first."
Why do I think Ivory has somehow made this mistake before?
There were five of the mushrooms. Truffle picked one for herself, and gave another one to me.
"Uh, thanks…?" I wasn't big on raw mushrooms. Well, canned mushrooms were okay if they were cooked in a pan with butter and garlic powder to top over some steak or pasta. Or on a pizza. Yeah, mushroom pizza was good shit. There wasn't anything like pizza in this world, and it was one of the few things I truly missed from my previous life.
I held onto the mushroom and just looked at it.
"Husband not hungry?" Truffle asked me.
"Ah, I was just thinking about different mushrooms I liked. Most of the mushrooms I eat are cooked. Uh… like fire meat? I like fire mushrooms."
I explained about grilled mushrooms over a fire using a skewer, and Ivory said she had a long thin bone that was similar. I had accidentally convinced them to put the mushrooms on a skewer and let them cook for a short while over the fire pit. Truffle ran out to handle that task, leaving me alone with Ivory for a short while.
"Truffle mushroom-head. Only think mushrooms day and night. Dream mushroom, too."
I laughed.
"What about you?"
"Ivory do the same. But think about bones. Lile bones more than mushrooms."
Made perfect sense to me.
"Say, Ivory. I want to thank you for making the bone doll for Diana."
"Doll?"
"Wasn't it a doll? The thing you made out of bones that looked like a person?"
"Bone charm. Help make Diana's bones grow big, teeth sharp. Berry always talk about want big strong one."
"I see. I hope it works. I also want Diana to grow big strong bones."
"Husband like bones?"
"Sure. I have two hundred and six of them myself." I joked, "All inside my body. You probably have just as many underneath your skin as well."
"Not sure how many number is, but not do much with bone inside body not dead. Ivory collect dead bones. Make thing with bones."
"Probably for the better." I said, finding it humerus. Okay, I will apologize now for the bad pun.
"Ivory take black bone from Husband things. Show Husband. Tell Ivory about bone?"
I nodded, but didn't know what she was talking about. I was pretty sure I didn't have any bones in my pack when I was captured, let alone a black one. Ivory ran out of the room and came back a few moments later with the last thing I should be caught anywhere near.
It was my magic wand.
It was full-black, and made from ossified wood with a Roc's feather fitted into it. It was very smooth to the touch, and I could see how she easily mistook it for a bone. How should I play this? She was literally offering it out to me to take without even the slightest doubt of what I could do with it right now.
If… I was serious… I could probably…
"I can't touch it."
"Husband no want hold?"
"That is my magic wand. It's not a real bone, Ivory. It's made from… Well, I guess it sort of is a bone. It's a tree-bone."
"Magic wand tree bone? See Tree-chopper chop tree, never see tree-bone before!"
"It's actually petrified wood. How can I explain it… Uh, tree branch from spirit tree fall. Sleep for many moons until become bone?"
I tried explaining in gob, but felt it was lacking.
"How many moon until become bone?
"More than even Husband can count. The reason I can't touch it is that if I do, I can do bad magic and hurt all the goblins here."
"Husband… want hurt goblins with magic?" She asked, pulling the wand back to her chest cautiously.
I sighed.
"No. Goblins have treated Husband well. But if I hold that wand, there's no knowing for sure that I wouldn't. This is why Prima didn't want me to have weapons or magic. It's better for you to put it back wherever you keep it. Jewel is in charge of my magic now, and I will only use the topaz stone with her permission when she is around."
Ivory left the room and came back a few moments later again, wand-free this time. She seemed kind of down.