Living with the goblin tribe these days is almost like one of those adult dating simulation games I played on the computer when I was a young teenager in my previous life. The first three goblins I slept with have become my sort-of-annoying come-see-me-everyday harem trio. Yeah, right now in the breeding room, Prima, Lily, and Jewel are all gathered here, and all of them arrived at about the same time in the morning, which is to say, that right now is breakfast time.
While Prima brought me fire meat as usual, Jewel's was here to talk business since I was able to use magic to remodel cave-holes. Lily just wanted to sit on my lap and basically bogart me, seed-stick included. Prima seems to be able to control herself, but Jewel has a bit of a rivalry with Lily about who gets to hop on pop… er, Husband first whenever the two of them are in the same room as me.
Does the fact that they are goblins make me a normie, or does it disqualify me?
Well, Lily had her first dibs, so Jewel decided to talk shop while I pushed some runty green petals in. Jewel came to me with my very first work order. Well, it was a request if I wanted to do it, but we're talking about bettering the living conditions of the goblins I'm impregnating here, so it's an obvious thing that I want to do what I can to help them. Plus the boredom is real. I'd rather renovate than sit alone in the dark.
Ivory and Truffle had both visited Jewel earlier in order to ask her to let me give them a cave-hole makeover tomorrow. Seeing as how I had nothing on the agenda after tonight's pre-selection being the cinnamon-haired goblin who gave me my undies in order to jump the queue, I was fast in agreeing to do the job. I also put in my two cents about wanting to make a better bed in my room for the enjoyment of any goblins coming to spend the night with me, or just to visit and waste big seed with me. I also requested for more of the straw used for the bed, and time to make a table for all of us to sit at when we ate breakfast.
Jewel was willing to work with me on those things, especially my bed. Lily was also interested in what kind of bed I would make, especially when I said it was going to be raised from the floor so I could, uh, put my seed-stick to better use with it like that.
Prima had business with me as well, but it was of an entirely different nature. She was holding on to my guild card, and wanted to know if I wanted to… look at it for a bit. It was interesting how she phrased it. I was reminded of my older brother in my previous life who had this really mouse-like girlfriend with massive tiddies who always wore fishnets and stole his favorite hoodie. She was never, ever, going to give it back to him, but on occasion she would let him wear it if he was going to go to the gym, or out on a jog on a cold day, so that when he came back it smelled like him all over again, and she'd just wear it all day blissfully.
Just the hoodie, maybe some panties–but not always.
That was how it sounded to me when Prima asked me if I wanted to look at it for a bit.
I said I'd like to see it, and asked permission first to update it. She had no clue what I meant, so I had to explain how the guild cards were created to be magically updated with a drop of blood from the adventurers they were attuned to. I had asked Prima to poke me with her sharp fingernail in a less veiny part of my arm, since I didn't want to prick my finger if it might be stuffed up a goblin hooch in a short while, so she did and when a drop of my blood touched the card, it began to glow slightly.
"It's not usable magic. It's just reacting to the inert magic in the card, and all it's doing is updating my personal information. It can't do anything other than that." I had to hurriedly explain before either Jewel or Prima reacted poorly to unauthorized magic.
To be honest, Jewel didn't seem to care all that much, and Prima snatched the card right back after it stopped glowing. I had her lower it so I could show her that nothing on it had changed. Except it had. And not only on the front.
On the front of the card, the only major change was my job title.
Job: Goblin Sire
Name: Ark
Physical Ability: D
Mental Ability: A
Magical Ability: B
On the back was something that I had to hold Prima's hand steady so I could get a good look and read..
Blessing: ?
Blessing affects the goblin fetus.
Fertility: B
Fertility is a skill used in breeding.
Libido: A
Libido is a skill that affects the level of arousal.
Huh…? Those weren't there before!
I had three active skills with rank values, but they were originally Windshot at C, Fireball at D, and Magic Arrow at E. Did something happen to forcibly change my job from adventurer? I wasn't even aware a job could be forcibly changed! But now that I think about it, that crazy powerful being called the Great Protector might have somehow done something to me while I was out cold. I do remember it doing something to knock me out with magic when it was done talking to me, so maybe then…?
"What guild card say?" Prima insisted on knowing.
What the hell… it's okay to tell them, right?
"My job and my skills changed when the card was updated. It no longer says I'm an adventurer, but instead my new job is called Goblin Sire. That's the only change from the front. For the back, my usual combat magic skills changed into things related to… well… being Husband."
I pointed out each line on the back, and what they meant. How the first line was of an unknown rank, and that I wasn't actually sure of what it did. The next line was about my Fertility, which was, to my best guess, how easily I would be able to make a goblin pregnant with my big seed. And Libido… I also had to make an educated guess that it was related to how many times I could use my seed-stick or give big seed for any amount of time.
"Husband ranks good?" Jewel had asked, curious herself with the development.
"From the looks of it, yes." I answered. "I don't know how accurate some of it is, but I can tell you for sure that most humans cannot give this much big seed this often in this short of a timespan."
Prima also agreed, saying that was the whole reason why she was worried about me wasting big seed. But now that it was not a critical issue, I was free to waste it as I saw fit, just as long as I was making progress, prioritizing at least one goblin a day who hadn't yet received it.
I inquired about the total number of goblins living in the cave, and the number came out to fourteen. This was not including Diana. This number was indicative only of goblins who were of age to be seeded, and my next question had been… did it include the Old One.
It did, however…
"Husband choice." Was the answer Prima gave me.
"What do you mean?" I asked with great interest.
Apparently, she really is the evil mother-in-law. Actually, that's a horrible fucking way to put it, but she's been placed in a separate category according to my wives. She was the matriarch of the current goblin tribe up until Prima came of age to be seeded. Now Prima, as the tribe's Guardian, is the head of the tribe, having been given the role directly by the Great Protector, with the Old One having been relegated to something of an advisory role. The old one had dealt with the tribe back when it was also full of males and constantly raiding and being raided by humans and the like, so she knows humans like me as only the enemy. She has no goodwill towards me, only an interest in seeing the tribe grow in size.
I am, quite honestly, the meddling human son-in-law who has no use but to give her capable grandbabies.