Weeks passed ever since my dabby ( dad+buddy) died and it was time to go back to school. Every one at school was acting all normal as if nothing has changed, what the f**k? My dad just died and no one seem to care whether I'm was doing great or not, in fact they all seem happy as if nothing had happened my teachers never bother to ask if I was okay or not. I just ignore it all and focused on my school stuff, i wish it was that easy. I was brewing with anger, hatred, sadness and most of all pain. I was lost in my own world of mixed emotions, a world I either couldn't understand but it all got disturbed after I had my classmate making fun of my dad like they always did, there and then I was lost and confused as to how can human being be so cruel. No! it couldn't be. They are not humans at all, I mean what kind of human makes fun of her classmate's deceased dad and there on was when I decided that I won't let mere human being tumble on my feelings anymore, not now, not in this life time and not ever . I became an emotionless, hollowed emptied being.
After that day I started my revenge, I spilled all the secret about my friends, notified the teacher that they were always cheating whenever we wrote tests and revealed their true colors to other people. Ever since I became known for my cold-heartedness in school, many tried to break me by hiding cheat sheets in my books during exams and test but unfortunately for them they never succeeded cause during when I was called in the stuff rooms but my teacher I answered every question relating the subject I was about to write and they eventually gave up cause some of the question were not even part of our test.
Years passed and I was doing my eleventh grade and the world was getting more cruel every day, I had no reason to live so one day I drank 3 full bottles of sleeping pills, pain killers and fever reducer pills but unfortunately I didn't die. I was so sure I would never survive but I did, the next day i was going to try again but it seem like my sister noticed that I wanted to give . She gave me her phone and told me that she saw some Korean boys on tiktok that she thought I might like so I took the phone and watched, it was then, at that very same moment when I met my seven Korean babies. Well, the youngest one was 8 years older than me and the oldest was 13 years older than me but that's beside the point.
The point is that in the video I was watching it was them and another oppa who I later found out he died the very same year as my dad (2017), they were fighting for the sit and he was like 'let the other sit okay' and they all stood up, making space for others. I cried watched because of the respect and love they shared, I continued to scroll and look for more of their videos and there was this one where they were at backstage. They were injured and some where struggling to breath whereas they still had few more to perform and they did perform even though they were hurt. Some of the videos were of them being criticized and hated by people on social media but they never gave for their armies and at that very more I decided to continue living because they gave me hope to live again.
I became an army, a huge one. I studied hard so that I can be successful enough to protect them and I passed my grade 12 very well and went to a university. I studied hard for them and my siblings because I wanted to make sure they don't live a life like mine. I like sciences to the point that with my spare time I would do my own research and make up my own theories so I applied at the States to study microbiology and guess what after all my hard work it pain. I was offered a scholarship that took care of everything, my citizenship there, accommodation, flight and all necessary things. On top of that I was going to get an allowance that was more than enough to push through a month throughout my entire scholarship.
I was so happy I forgot all about my past for a moment and all of the sudden I became to feel dizzy. Someone knocked on the door of my room then I stood up to open and found that it was my crazy friend, Einstein. I turned around after she started complaining that she has been knocking for an hour now and before I knew it everything went blank, when I woke up I found myself in the hospital. I was told I had been unconscious for three days and couldn't get a hold of my family. I asked if the nurse knew what was wrong with me and she said to wait for the doctor and that moment I knew something was wrong. The doctor came and told me I had last stage kidney failure, just when I thought it couldn't get wrong he also said I had a late stage brain cancer and it can't be cure so I'm only left with months to live.
My friend broke into tears when she heard but I didn't cause I had to stay strong for all of us then I asked to be discharged and they didn't even argue because they saw that I was not in the mood to argue. Me and Einstein left the hospital and went back to our res, I told her not to tell anyone and let me deal with it in my own way. She was very understanding and started cheering up to lighten the mood, when we reached my room everyone from my block came asking what was wrong with me. Seeing my mood, Einstein told them it was because of my health issue that they already knew and they believed her. She told me to rest and she will come back later to check on me, and ever since then she spoiled me so much that I forgot I was dying until one day a car came out of nowhere a hit me on my way to school.
The car drove away without slowing down, it was as if someone called a hit on me to be killed. The last thing I remember is hearing someone calling an ambulance and when I woke up I was weak and barely breathing while different people wearing scrubs surrounded me and I could tell they were all doctors and nurses trying to do the impossible. I pulled the doctor's scrubs so that I can get his attention and he was shocked. " Didn't you nurse sedate the patient" He asked in an angry tone fearing for my life. "I did sir but I don't why the patient is awake" She answered in a shocked tone. I pulled the oxygen musk off and asked them who had a phone and they were all shocked but then the doctor understood what I wanted to do and went to get the phone and gave it to me. I took it and went live on tiktok, I just had to say good bye to my babies, family and friends. Even though I couldn't see them face to face, I was able to say good bye before i died and after that my heart stopped beating.