Xavier confessed that he likes me from the start! My heart beats rapidly, a whirlwind of disbelief and confusion.
But I never knew. I thought that night was just a fleeting moment, a spark ignited by impulse or perhaps mere lust.
How could someone like him—so handsome, so confident, so dependable and talented—ever truly love someone like me?
If I had known before, then… then what? I grapple with the weight of my own existence. I'm not really a 22 years old girl of this world. I'm not the real Samantha.
I'm Merry, an unfortunate angel whose spirit fragments and spreads amidst innumerable worlds. I have to collect them, piece by piece, like a puzzle scattered across the cosmos.
I have to leave this body soon, and the thought sends a chill through my veins.
But I can't deny that my feelings for Xavier have long since changed. That fateful night, I poured out my innermost thoughts to him—thoughts I could barely comprehend myself at that time.
I love him. He loves me. But the cruel reality looms over us: I have no way to stay with him for a lifetime. How utterly pathetic!
"Answer me, Samantha. Did you never love me once? Do you really have a boyfriend behind my back?" His voice trembles with a mix of desperation and anger, and it pierces through me like a dagger.
I laugh, but it feels hollow, a mask I wear to hide the turmoil inside. I must deceive him. I can't explain my reasons for refusal; the truth is too painful, too complicated.
So I pretend, weaving a lie that feels like a noose tightening around my heart.
"What behind your back? We aren't in any kind of relationship." My voice is steadier than I feel, but inside, I'm a storm of emotions.
"I gave you time because I didn't want to force you into a relationship. But you make a boyfriend. That's very brave." His words cut deep, and I can feel the heat of shame rising in my cheeks.
"Don't talk to me like my life is yours. I'm grateful you've taken care of me. But I won't repay you with my life. My life, my decisions." I stand my ground.
Xavier smirks, and in that moment, everything about him screams danger. His eyes burn with intensity, his expression a mix of frustration and longing. I nervously gulp, feeling the weight of his gaze.
Suddenly, the car stops abruptly, and I look around, panic rising within me. It's a barren road, desolate and empty. I lash out at him, my voice trembling with fear and anger, "Why did you stop the car? Where are we? Are you planning to do something to me here? How can you be so unreasonable?"
Xavier gets out, and my heart races as he opens the back door and sits beside me. I feel trapped, cornered by his presence.
"What are you trying to do? Do you want to rape me like before?" I threaten, my voice shaking, but I can't hide the vulnerability beneath my bravado.
He laughs loudly, a sound that sends chills down my spine. "How can you call that rape when you seduced me first?" His words are laced with a twisted sense of triumph, and I feel my cheeks flush with anger and humiliation.
"That doesn't count. I was drugged." I protest, but the weight of his gaze makes me feel small.
"You knew clearly, that was me. You confessed subconsciously to me. You liked me, at least back then." His voice softens, and I can see the flicker of hope in his eyes, but it only deepens my despair.
"I don't remember." I whisper, the truth hanging heavy between us.
"So you fell in love with someone else?" His question is a knife, twisting in my heart.
"Yes." The word escapes my lips, but it feels like a betrayal, a lie that shatters the fragile connection we share.
Suddenly, he forcefully kisses me, and I'm taken aback, my body responding against my will. My heart races in a whirlwind of confusion and fear.
I try to pull away, but his grip is unyielding, a testament to his overwhelming power. Desperation floods through me as I attempt to convert my magic power to strength, to push him away, but to my shock, I can't budge him.
How could this be?! My heart, my mind, races frantically, and I feel a mix of anger and helplessness.
He murmurs softly in between his aggressive kisses, "You are mine, in this life, in every other life."
His words echo in my mind, stirring a strange mix of emotions. He has said something similar before. Is he talking about reincarnation? But he has never been religious.
Does he know about my angel self? No, no, no—how could he? It's impossible!
Panic rises within me, battling against the strange warmth that his possessiveness ignites.
His desire wraps around me like a shroud, igniting a fire within me that I can't extinguish.
In that moment, I am torn between the desire to surrender to him and the desperate need to escape the fate that awaits us.
"You dare to be distracted in between! It looks like I am not working hard enough," Xavier growls, his voice low and intense.
"You bastard, are you crazy?" I retort, my voice trembling with a mix of fear and defiance.
"Yes, my beloved, I'm crazy for you," Xavier replies, his tone softening slightly, though the intensity remains. "I endured for a very long time. I always wanted to visit your campus, to lock you in any empty room where I could love you to my heart's content."
His words send a shiver down my spine, a mix of dread and an inexplicable thrill.
"You fucking madman! If you dare to do anything more to me, I'll never forgive you," I warn, my heart pounding as I try to assert my boundaries.
"Why do you think, I care about your forgiveness?" he snaps back, his eyes blazing with a fierce determination.
"You… you're just an animal in heat. Go die," I spit out, my anger flaring as I try to push him away emotionally, even if I can't physically.
"I'll live my life with you and also die with you. You are my life," he declares, his voice filled with a raw intensity that makes my heart ache.
"Should I die and see?" I challenge, my voice laced with sarcasm, but deep down, I feel a flicker of fear at the depth of his obsession.
"You don't have my permission to die," he states firmly, as if my life is something he can control.
"You're not just crazy, but also deranged," I say, my voice shaking with a mix of anger and fear.
"You can call me anything. But you can't call someone else darling or soulmate," he counters, his eyes narrowing, and I can see the possessiveness boiling beneath the surface.
"Do you think of yourself as my master? Why should I listen to you? You can't control my life. Nobody can," I assert, trying to reclaim my autonomy.
"I never wanted to control you. I always wanted to support you wholeheartedly in everything, but you went ahead and made a fucking boyfriend!" he exclaims, frustration evident in his voice.
"Enough is enough. I deceived you. That was my best friend, Rachel, who is a girl," I finally confess, the weight of my words hanging heavily in the air.
Xavier is stunned, his expression shifting from anger to disbelief. After a few seconds, he asks,"Really?" stiffly. The vulnerability in his voice catches me off guard.
"You'll see tomorrow," I reply confidently.
Now he doesn't know where to place his hands or feet, his expression resembling that of a prisoner sentenced to life imprisonment.
I feel a mix of sympathy and frustration. I don't like his over-possessiveness, but knowing how deeply he loves me makes it hard to stay angry.
Despite that, I must act indifferent now, to protect my heart and his happiness of a lifetime.
"Now that I know your true colours, you should stay away from me. It's better if you go to live in B City. Now get out," I say, my voice steady but my heart breaking.
Xavier remains silent, the weight of my words hanging heavily between us.
After a while, he gets out of the backseat, his shoulders slumped in defeat, and then silently drives me home.
The silence is deafening, filled with unspoken emotions and unresolved tension, leaving me to grapple with the storm of feelings wrecking within me....