"Isn't it?" His eyes flashed with anger. "You're here, dressed like this, trying to find out if your first love is still alive. What am I supposed to think?"
"It's not about that!" Eli protested, her voice rising slightly. "I just need to know the truth. I thought he was dead, Rai. But if he's alive, I need to know what happened."
"And then what?" Rai snapped, stepping closer. "What happens when you find him, Eli? Are you going to run off with him?"
Eli shook her head furiously. "No! Rai, this isn't about leaving you. It's about closure. I need to know."
"Closure?" He laughed bitterly, the sound harsh and cold. "If you want to leave me, just leave me. After all, I'm not exactly what the world considers... desirable anymore."
"Don't say that," Eli whispered, her heart aching at the pain in his voice.
"Why not? It's what everyone's thinking. And that's true." He stepped back, his gaze hardening.
"Rai, I—"
He cut her off, bitterness dripping from every word. "You don't have to explain. It's obvious, isn't it? You're still in love with him."
"That's not fair," Eli whispered, shaking her head. "I'm not—"
"Not what? Not still in love with the man who's been haunting your thoughts since the day he disappeared? Don't lie to me, Eli. I've seen it in your eyes every time someone mentions his name."
Eli felt a lump rise in her throat. "It's not that simple, Rai."
He laughed, but it was a bitter, broken sound. "Of course it isn't. But you know what is simple? The fact that you've been stuck with me, this—this monster, as they all call me. Don't you think I hear what they say? What you could've had with Adira, and what you're stuck with now?"
"Rai, please don't—"
"Don't what?" he interrupted, his voice rising. "Don't make it worse by pointing out the obvious? Eli, everyone knows I'm not good enough for you. I'm just the broken soldier who should've died in the war. Hell, your own father probably regrets that I survived."
"That's not true!" Eli shouted, suddenly defensive. "You don't know everything, Rai. You don't know why I—"
"Why you married me?" Rai finished for her, his expression dark. "Was it pity? Guilt? Or did you just think it was the right thing to do, to tie yourself to me out of some twisted sense of duty?"
"I married you because I care about you, Rai. Because I didn't want you to—"
"To what? Feel abandoned? Left alone? Face it, Eli. This marriage has been nothing but a burden for both of us."
Eli's chest tightened, and she stepped forward, her eyes pleading. "Rai, I don't want a divorce."
He looked at her incredulously. "You don't want a divorce? Look at us! Everyone around us sees it. They all say the same thing. That you're too good for me. And maybe they're right."
"I don't care what they say," Eli insisted. "I care about you."
Rai scoffed. "Care about me? Care about me enough to stay in a marriage you don't even want? To keep playing this game where you act like you're doing me a favor by staying?"
"Rai, it's not like that—"
"You know what's really like that?" Rai's voice was dangerously calm now. "You refusing to let me go. Refusing to even give me the dignity of ending this. You won't sign the divorce papers because what? Because you think you're better than me? That because your position is higher than mine, you can just decide what happens to my life?"
Eli's eyes widened. "That's not what I meant—"
"That's exactly what it is, Eli. I'm nothing but a servant to you, aren't I? Just like my father was to yours. And servants don't get to make decisions for themselves. They don't get freedom unless their masters say so."
Eli shook her head, panic rising in her chest. "No! Rai, that's not it at all! You're not—"
"Not what? Not just some broken soldier you feel sorry for? Not someone who's been stuck in this twisted relationship because you won't admit the truth?"
Eli's throat tightened as she desperately searched for words. "You're my husband, Rai. You're my friend."
Rai's expression hardened, and his voice dropped to a near whisper. "What do I have to do to make you let me go, Eli? Huh? Should I help you find Adira? Is that it? Should I help you chase after the man you actually want, so you can stop pretending with me?"
Tears welled up in Eli's eyes, but she didn't have an answer. Rai's words cut too deep, the truth of their broken relationship hanging between them like a blade waiting to fall.
Rai stepped back, his face twisting in anger and resignation. "You say you don't want to lose me, but you already have." He turned, walking away into the darkness of the night, leaving Eli alone on the balcony, trembling as the weight of their shattered marriage came crashing down around her.