Chapter 3 - The Dilemma

After dinner, the familiar clinking of dishes filled the quiet kitchen as Dean stood by the sink, scrubbing away at the plates. In the living room, Kikki was on the floor, surrounded by toys, happily babbling to himself while Alex sat on the couch, focused on his laptop. His eyes skimmed through the important files he had to check for work, but his attention kept drifting toward Kikki, making sure everything was okay.

Dean, exhausted from the long day, finished up with the dishes, meticulously putting everything back in its place. He dried his hands on a towel and walked back into the living room. Kikki looked up at him with his big, innocent eyes, his face lighting up the moment he saw Dean. 

"Time for bed, Kikki," Dean said softly, reaching out to take Kikki's hand. 

But the little boy shook his head, his voice laced with playfulness. "Play, play," Kikki said, his chubby hands grabbing a toy and holding it up to Dean. 

Dean sighed, glancing at the clock. It was late, but Kikki had only woken up two hours ago from a nap. There was no way he'd be tired enough to sleep yet. "Fine, play for a little while longer," Dean muttered, standing up straight and letting the boy continue with his toys.

Dean dragged his feet over to the chair near Alex, sinking into it with an exasperated sigh. He rubbed his eyes, leaning back and staring at the ceiling as though all his energy had left him.

Alex, noticing the tension on Dean's face, looked up from his laptop. "Dean, what's wrong?" he asked, concern filling his voice. "You look exhausted."

Dean hesitated for a moment, his eyes still fixed on the ceiling before he finally spoke. "I… I think I need to quit this job," he said quietly, his voice heavy with fatigue. "I'm tired, Alex. All day, every day, it's just me running after Kikki, cleaning up after him, making sure he's okay. It's too much. I can't do it anymore."

Alex's heart sank at those words. He didn't want to hear this—not from Dean, not after everything. His fingers froze on the laptop's keyboard as he processed what Dean had just said.

Dean continued, his voice cracking slightly as he spoke. "Maybe I should just go back to my town and find something else to do. Or… maybe I'll try to find another job here in the city. I know I don't have much experience, but maybe someone will give me a chance. Anything's better than this."

Alex clenched his jaw, trying to keep his emotions in check, but the truth was, hearing this hurt him. Deeply.

He closed his laptop and set it aside, giving Dean his full attention. "You don't have to leave," Alex said quietly, though there was a hint of desperation in his voice. "I know this job is hard, but Kikki… he's happy with you. I've seen how you treat him, Dean. No one has ever taken care of him like you do."

Dean turned his head, looking at Alex with tired eyes. "It doesn't feel like enough. I can't even keep the house in order, and Kikki—he's a handful. Every day, it's a new mess, a new challenge. I'm not cut out for this."

Alex's chest tightened. He'd gone through so many nannies before Dean, each one worse than the last. He still remembered coming home to find Kikki sitting in the corner, silent and scared, after being left alone for hours by previous nannies. Some had even mistreated him—letting him cry for hours or, worse, physically punishing him for being "too difficult." Thanks to the cameras he'd installed around the house, Alex had seen it all. He'd never forget the guilt he felt for not being able to protect Kikki when he wasn't around.

But Dean… Dean was different.

"No," Alex said firmly, his gaze locking with Dean's. "You're more than enough. Before you, Kikki was miserable. Every time I came home, he was terrified, sitting in a corner, not wanting to play or even smile. But with you… he's happy. He laughs, he plays, he trusts you. I can see it in his eyes, Dean. He feels safe with you."

Dean shifted uncomfortably in his chair, unsure how to respond. "I just… I don't know if I can keep doing this. It's so much, Alex."

Alex's eyes softened, and he leaned forward, speaking in a lower voice, almost pleading. "I don't want you to go. I can't imagine anyone else taking care of Kikki the way you do. Please… don't leave."

There was a silence between them, the weight of Alex's words hanging in the air. Dean didn't answer right away, his mind racing as he thought about everything—about the exhaustion, the frustration, the messes. But also, he thought about Kikki's smile, the way the boy always reached out to him, trusting him without hesitation.

Dean sighed, rubbing his temples. "I'll… I'll think about it," he finally said, his voice barely above a whisper.

Alex nodded, though his heart was still heavy with the fear of losing Dean. For now, he would have to hope that Dean would stay, because the thought of him leaving, of Kikki going back to the silent, scared child he once was, was unbearable.