FOR ALL THE MONEY
XEROGOLDENDESTINYXZEROSEVEN911X
That's Gold in interrogram, my new crypto currency.
So it should work for life!
And like 5m one day!
Just watch!
Away!
Chapter 1
Tributing On Her F*cking Face
I was a n00bie once, like yourself, called myself hot pony, like I rode a motorcycle, but was gifted, and not that fine to look at, as I was over 200lbs, but needed surgery, as my tummy was molded, I gained a new destiny. I would become the Femhumanity Wished For, not the angel of death that led to decay.
And I was also married to a Futanari Devil of a tribe of South Egyptians, but not to her Felyne cousin, because I don't remember my dreams due to anachromia, which means I don't remember anime faces all that well and it didn't have epicanthic folds, which Egyptians do kind of, or at least the paint they wear insinuates they do. Bolt inside, rush to the oven, check the temperature. Oh, shit! It was over 900 degrees! I immediately was blasted outside. Now, like my author, I am homeless and in distress.
"Oh, Mommy!" I asked my futanari vampire wife who was there what to do and she said we're a little boned my friend, no, no, no! Felyne!Cousin asked me if I was out of cash for the gatchas. It was a little hard to hear, my friendzoned! He told me that his asshole hurt from being in the tribe of gay bear, but he was never sexually inactive online, nor on Discord, where he also met his inhumanity, and was telling lies to the other websurfers, oh, I wanted to give him a *glare* in person! But that was definitely not my first intention, as my first intention, was to find a new home! And above the sea and beneath a volcano that was filling the stratosphere with fear, I was alive, but inanimately attracted to sex acts, like eating her urethra, not her dick cheese, because she wasn't gonna buy me a new home! Oh, no, oh, what will happen to me!? And why is my *glare* not working? And why is hot pony tattooed on my Felyne cousin-in-law? And why doesn't he ever bathe? And why isn't he using his connections, aren't you a rave addict? Don't you live in Japan, sometimes, like it says, on your profile, on Discord, on Reddit, where the h*eck can I get a new place, man? And sometimes my heart cries for me and I make dubstep on the Internet, where I can't relate to anyone with a pink cat avatar, and anyway, I can't remember your face! I have anchromia! And I have special needs! Now I need to work as a plow truck driver for the winter only over the summer I might become a dump truck driver for 29 an hour and that's not enough and I have no time to make my beats or go on vacation anymore! And at 29 I no longer want to snort at *glare* users like I do, anymore, oh, not my perfect score! I love Beatmania IIDX and that is my saving grace. Otherwise I would use my dickhole like a curtain and bash in his cute Felyne face. But I am not mixed race nor am I distrustful of outsiders in my tribe. So when I said I was pansexual that was obviously my anxiety kicking in and a defensive response, not what was on my mind.
I took Malaria by Futanari Devil Vampire wife to the supermarket. She can't speak English. She is Egyptian, and cute as a button, but I want to tie her to my shirt, not the muffin tin, or the place she been, or the working half of my car, the back seat, the front I can not start, because it is out of gas, and the little bit I have, is used to get to the gas station, which is down the road from I. And I am Pansexual, I was not being your *glare* liar! I am your husband! I am just someone who has surgery scars. And I don't want them to not heal. And I am afraid. Of dying, and definitely, I fear. Oh! Felyne cousin-in-law who says they live in Japan! Can't you get us a break room? Oh yes, he can! He say's he can not! Because he can not play his gatcha's without WiFi! How does this happen? And why did he say good *glare* bye? Oh no!
Once again I do the little dance I do as I am out of cash and so blue.
And I must make my futanari vampire wife come to terms with this new Egyptian groove.
Can we have her mommy come pick us up? Does she realize we are absolutely boned?
Does she speak English, you say? No! She only speaks Arabic, you're making me *glare*! Improve your wisdom, improve my simple Pansexual quote! "I am not Pansexual, my wife is literally a Futanari Devil Vampire from Egypt!" I told my new boss, I hoped. He told me he was not pansexual, and asked me to go. I said I needed a job, he said he needed someone who could drive a CDL-A mystery, I do have my CDL-A, actually, and all the rest as well, are we cool? He said yes and now I am on the road.
It is not snowing yet.
I am scared this will be my final radio skip on Pandora.
And it was. Oh, great. *glare* That Discord channel I run is still not where I want to see my Felyne cousin-in-law, because he is in Japan now, and will not let us stay with him, because he says he can not afford his gatcha's if we don't pay him, and we have no money, so he will not let us. Wow.
He's like, *glare* in the chatroom.
And I still make my beats. But now it is so still on my phone, but *glare* I want to go on vacation, not drive this thingy right here. And neither does my Futanari Devil Vampire girlfriend have a CDL-A or her American license, yes she does, but she can not drive for these people, and did not ask me to let her, no. So she's homeless, like me, and we live out of my car, and I get paid in like, per-diem honestly, it's bi-weekly I think, I never asked, I just don't know. *glare* It's next week, I think. Or so I really hope.
I make my dubstep beats and they don't sell out.
My Futanari Vampire Devil Wife from South Egypt is hungry, and I do speak Arabic, she is saying this *glare* obviously, her Felyne cousin, is not my current *glare* favorite person to see on Discord at this moment, as he is living in Japan, and I do have my passport, we have to live in her mothers home.
We go to Egypt. But I still have my job. I did not quit. When I get back I will hopefully tell me new boss that I was on no vacation, I just forgot, and remembered nothing about their pansexual comments, to get a new one with them, that pays better. That's her mom right there!
Her mom welcomes us in. Her daddy is not around. Her mommy says we need to tell her to eat better, I guess? She said in Arabic what some people say in English meaning "*glare* We need to do dinner." and it was seriously ill of her to say, as we say in Arabic, ill means good, because we are street ghetto homes for sure. It is weird here, everyone is American, but speaks Arabic, and it's ill here, you know? But my Felyne cousin-in-law, says he got a new Gatchamon, and I said I don't want to hear *glare* because I don't play that one. I don't think so anyway. I tried to imagine I was at home. I am not on vacation. I am not *glare* I am now on the phone. I told my Futanari Demon Wife, who she is not, that she can come home. She was at the grocery store and said she is now not coming home. This is Egypt, they speak Arabic, and this is weird to me. She is now coming home. I guess? *glare* I am wearing my devil outfit. It is a T-Shirt and some weird shorts to you, I guess. *glare* And my bat ears. And my untied shoes. And do not help me tie them. One is tied up. The other is not a yo-yo. *glare* My Felyne cousin-in-law is not talking right now on my Discord channel. No one is, really. It is quite quiet right now. I want to be at home. Not in Egypt. Not here, really, not really, no. I am not Pansexual. That was something I said as a panic defense, I guess? I am married to a Futanari Demon Vampire, that is wrong. It is a Futanari Devil Vampire but that might be disrespectful, so do not call her that, I don't.
End of Chapter 1
Summary: Their, like mine, place burned down.
Unlike me, they can go to Egypt.
They are, unlike me, living in Egypt.
Unlike me, ask me, they have a job they cannot do.
But in Egypt, unlike me, they are being taken care of.
And they are married.
Do you want to get married?
And their Felyne relative is not a Femboy, they are not a Femvampire as well, nor are they a Femhuman, the main character here is.
Their name has not been revealed yet.
What is a Femhuman?
And can you please home me, take care of me, marry me, and/or just fund me?
I am straight and I do run a Discord channel as well but do not know if this Felyne is real.
I do not think so.
They are made to be not real. An alien from outer space. Their goal is to be Felyne, I suppose.