It was like something out of a medieval fever dream—a lion's head with piercing golden eyes, a goat's muscular, shaggy body, and, for good measure, a snake-headed tail that hissed like it had personal grievances with the world.
Its lion head roared, and the ground beneath me practically quaked.
I gulped. "C-c-chimera!" My voice cracked like I'd just hit puberty again.
The chimera's gaze locked onto me. It tilted its head for a fraction of a second, as if thinking, 'Hmm, food?'.
Then, it roared louder and charged.
"Oh no, no, NO!" I shouted, already sprinting before my brain fully caught up with my legs. My sneakers slapped against the dirt path as adrenaline turned me into an Olympic sprinter.
Behind me, the chimera's snake tail hissed, and then—FWOOSH—flames burst past my ear, igniting a patch of grass ahead.
"I'm gonna die. I'm gonna DIE!" I wailed, dodging left and nearly tripping on a root.
In that moment, I had one very specific, deeply humiliating thought—My obituary is going to say, 'Carl Suis, zoologist wannabe, turned into barbecue by an unknown creature.'
I veered right, my breath ragged and my legs burning, narrowly clearing a fallen log. The snap of branches behind me made my pulse spike. I dared a glance back—huge mistake. The chimera's lion head roared, its snake tail hissing like it was cheering it on.
"Not today! Not like this!" I wheezed, sprinting harder.
The rock came out of nowhere. One second I was a desperate runner— the next, I was airborne. My foot caught, and gravity sucker-punched me straight into the dirt.
Thud.
My face planted into the mud with the grace of a dying fish.
"Seriously?!" I spat out a mouthful of soil, fumbling to get up. A shadow loomed over me, blocking the dappled sunlight.
I froze, heart hammering.
Slowly, I turned my head.
The chimera stood inches away, its goat legs pawing at the ground, the lion head glaring at me with a look that screamed snack time. The snake tail, meanwhile, was eyeing me like I was its next chew toy.
"I-I taste terrible! Really! Probably stringy, not enough protein!" I babbled, crawling backward on my hands and knees.
The chimera sniffed the air, then lowered its lion head, opening its jaws wide.
"Hey! HEY! Bad kitty-goat-snake thing!" I yelled, grabbing the nearest stick. Not my finest moment, but desperate times and all that. I waved it like a lunatic. "Shoo! Get! Go chase a griffin or something!"
The chimera paused, tilting its massive head. For a moment, I thought I'd outsmarted it. Then the snake head lunged, snapping at my face.
"AAAH!" I threw the stick. It bonked harmlessly off the lion's nose. Big mistake.
The chimera roared, fire building in its throat.
"Oh, COME ON!" I screamed, scrambling to my feet. The fireball whooshed past me, singeing my sleeve as I bolted back into the forest.
I didn't have a plan—just keep running, keep breathing, and maybe, just maybe, don't get flambéed.
"HELP!" I yelled, dodging low-hanging branches. "Anyone? Hello?"
I veered left, only to trip over yet another rock that seemed to appear out of nowhere. My face hit the dirt once more with a humiliating thud.
This was it. I was toast—literally.
I curled into a ball, covering my head with my arms.
"Arghh!" I wailed dramatically, clutching my head as the chimera's heavy hoofbeats thundered closer.
For a split second, I debated whether I should at least strike a cool pose before my untimely death. You know, for when the historians painted this scene in some museum. Then again, I doubted splat-faced-burnt and mawed Carl Suis would make for an epic mural.
I squeezed my eyes shut, bracing for impact.
…And then…nothing.
No flames. No claws tearing me apart. No snake tail wrapping me up like a burrito.
I cracked open one eye.
The chimera was sitting.
Just sitting.
Its lion's tongue lolled out as it panted, its body visibly exhausted from all the chasing. The snake tail flicked lazily, its hiss now sounding more like an exasperated sigh.
"What the…?" I muttered, cautiously lowering my arms.
The chimera tilted its massive lion head and blinked at me, almost as if to say, Why are you on the ground?
It gave a soft, rumbling growl—not aggressive, more like a grumpy cat who didn't get its afternoon nap.
I sat up slowly, my heart still hammering in my chest. "Wait. Are you…tired?"
The goat body shifted as the chimera flopped onto its side, legs outstretched like it was about to take a well-deserved nap.
For a long moment, I just stared, utterly baffled.
Then, I noticed something. Around its neck, hidden under tufts of fur, was a leather collar. A collar with a shiny, silver tag.
"You're…a pet?" I asked incredulously.
The chimera snorted, the lion head giving me a look that screamed Obviously.
"Oh, come on! You could've just barked or something instead of trying to barbecue me!"
The snake tail flicked again, its beady eyes narrowing. If we wanted you roasted, you'd be roasted, it seemed to say.
I reached for the tag cautiously, my hands still trembling. Engraved in neat lettering were the words:
"Monty. Property of Eldrin. Return if lost."
"You've got to be kidding me." I groaned, sitting back on my heels. "I was almost turned into a chimera chew toy because Monty got lost?"
Monty gave a low, rumbling purr-growl, clearly unbothered by my dramatics.
At that moment, I heard a deep, rumbling laugh. "New here, are ya?"
I spun around to see a figure leaning against a tree—a tall, imposing elf with long, silver hair and a bemused smile. "Name's Eldrin. I'm the head caretaker around here. And Monty's owner. "
"Oh, thank goodness," I said, stumbling toward him. "Look, I don't know how I ended up here, but—"
He held up a hand. "Lemme guess. Clicked an offer, thought it was all fun and games?"
I nodded, feeling a wave of relief. "Yes, exactly! And then—" I paused. "Wait, you know about that?"
He chuckled, patting my shoulder. "Oh, we get a lot of you types. 'Animal lovers, eager for an adventure,'" he said, mimicking the ad's tone. "But most don't read the fine print."
I blinked. "Fine print?"
"Yeah, the part about 'mythical creatures' and 'alternate dimensions.'" He raised an eyebrow. "Still interested?"
I stared at him, my glowing hands, and the magical forest around us. Sure, I was confused, maybe a little freaked out. But despite everything—despite the griffin, the pet chimera, and my current glow-in-the-dark situation—there was a thrill coursing through me.
"Are you kidding?" I grinned. "This is the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me."
Eldrin's smile widened, a glint of mischief in his eyes. "Good. Because you're about to find out just how chaotic things can really get."
"Right, but before that," I said, gesturing to my face and glowing arms, which were practically lighting up like a concert glow stick, "do you happen to know how I can, uh, you know… 'de-neon' myself?"
Eldrin's grin widened as he tossed me a small, shimmering bottle. It gleamed like it had been plucked straight from a wizard's discount rack. "Here, drink this. It'll sort you out," he said, his voice oozing the kind of confidence that made me a little suspicious.
"Oh, right," he interrupted, casually waving a hand. "You only need to take a sip. There's a small side effect, but—"
Too late. I'd already tipped the bottle back, downing it in one go. It fizzed and tingled like spicy grape soda, with an aftertaste that made me question all my life choices.
Eldrin's smile turned mischievous. "...but nothing too bad, I'm sure."
I froze mid-swallow. "Define 'too bad.'"