Chen Ruoxi's words, sharpened by seething anger, were far more cutting than before. Bai Zhanfeng's brow knit tightly; he was on the verge of a retort, but upon meeting Ruoxi's pale face, her hands clenched into fists upon the table, he reined himself in, saying, "I don't want to argue with you."
He held his silence precisely to avoid conflict, expecting her to be a woman of discernment. But it seemed he had misjudged her. Chen Ruoxi had always embodied grace, knowing propriety and restraint like any well-bred lady. Yet, even the most composed woman could falter when faced with unrequited love. When Old Master Bai sought a wife for Bai Zhanfeng, he had chosen one who would bring loyalty and avoid harm to his grandson. Ruoxi fit the role well—but the Old Master had underestimated love's power to erode reason, as well as the depth of Ruoxi's obsession and stubbornness.
The restraint in Bai Zhanfeng's tone only aggravated Ruoxi, who could scarcely recall a time he had shown her gentleness. How could she have ever believed that the words of that woman, Feng Xianyue, might hold truth—that his heart had never and would never belong to her? Hope? A bitter smile tugged at the corners of her lips. She harbored none.
She knew she was losing her composure before him, though she wished not to, yet the tidal surge of resentment and unsated anger seemed poised to overwhelm her.
"Does he really not want to argue with me? Does he even understand how deeply his words wound me?" From the day of her marriage, she had kept her role with exacting diligence, managing the affairs of the Bai household flawlessly. Had her efforts not sufficed? Where had she fallen short?
"I only did what I thought I must."
Ruoxi's voice had grown cold. Her grievances with Xianyue slowly shifted onto Bai Zhanfeng himself. "Why is it that you would rather believe an outsider than trust your own wife?"
He would favor a stranger, yet never cast her a true glance. If only a fraction of his affection for Xianyue could be directed towards her, she wouldn't have become this person.
"It was I who ordered Chuntao to watch Xianyue's every move," she declared, steeling herself with reckless abandon. If he could not see her, nor place his heart with her, then she would speak the truth, rather than let it fester within her.
"Do you even realize what you're doing?" Bai Zhanfeng's hand struck the table in fury, his gaze narrowing. How had he not known of such things?
Bai Zhanfeng had always viewed Xianyue as fiercely independent, unwilling to let others slight her. Yet he had overlooked one thing: Xianyue was also intensely loyal. She, who had considered him a friend, would never have willingly driven a wedge between him and Ruoxi.
His disbelief grew as he stared at Ruoxi. Was this truly the woman the Old Master had chosen? Now that he was aware of her machinations, he wondered if the Old Master, too, would feel regret.
"Of course I know what I'm doing. But do you even know what you're doing? You imagine you can understand her?" Bai Zhanfeng's gaze flared like a firestorm, as though ready to reduce her to ashes. Servants arrived at the noise, only to be waved away by Bai Zhanfeng's command to "Get out!"
"That woman is not merely the Queen of Feng, but also the consort of Lan," he murmured, the tension thick in the air, though Ruoxi seemed lost in her jealousy and resentment.
He remained silent, aware of the truths she spoke. Xianyue was indeed the Queen of Lan, consort of Lan Yixuan. He had often reminded himself of this, needing no further prompt to curb his heart's desires. He had no right to wish for more.
"Why can't you forget her?" Ruoxi demanded, the edges of hysteria creeping into her voice. "Since our marriage, I've devoted myself to managing the Bai household without a word of complaint. And you? You never once looked at me with any regard. If you never intended to care for me, why marry me at all? What does Feng Xianyue have that I do not? I wanted to understand, so I sent Chuntao to observe her. Even now, I fail to see what you find so captivating in a woman who does little more than eat and sleep."
She could not see what Bai Zhanfeng did. Ruoxi's outburst reminded him that he, too, had once joked about Xianyue's carefree nature. Yet he could not deny, in his heart, that Xianyue embodied a beauty that Ruoxi could not match. She was bold, fearless, and decisive. Unlike others, she held her head high, her words carrying a resonance that echoed through him. She loved fiercely and hated with equal conviction, incomparable in her authenticity.
"Young master, do you have any idea what I've been going through? Yes, you come home every day, but the first place you go is the Rose Courtyard. All this time, have you once come to see me? I wait for you at the door, yet you pass by without a glance. It's as if I don't even exist in your eyes or heart. Do you know what I feel when I watch you stand at the Rose Courtyard's doorway?"
Ruoxi spoke, her voice breaking into sobs. Bai Zhanfeng remained silent; he hadn't known any of this. But from the very beginning, he had been clear with her: if she sought love from him, she would be disappointed. His heart had shattered when Xianyue fell into Death Valley. Even though she'd returned to life, his heart remained empty. Now, Bai Zhanfeng lived solely for the Bai family as its patriarch. He wished he could treat Ruoxi well, but he couldn't deceive himself.
When Ruoxi asked what made Xianyue special, he had truly wanted to tell her, yet he refrained. In truth, Ruoxi had no shortcomings—many suitors had come seeking her hand—but he simply didn't love her. He couldn't help but compare her to Xianyue, and every time, Xianyue's radiance surpassed hers. Xianyue, with her unrestrained and proud spirit, would never stoop to deceit—such tactics were beneath her. Despite her carefree nature, she possessed a resolute spirit that rivaled any man's. Bold enough to stand up to even an emperor, she was irreplaceable.
Suddenly, a thought struck Bai Zhanfeng, and he looked at Ruoxi. "Did you drive Xianyue away?"
Ruoxi froze, her face paling. Normally, she would deny it, but now she had lost all sense of reason. "Yes, I told her to leave. I've had enough."
Bai Zhanfeng's gaze fixed upon her, fury building. He was not one to spare women out of mercy, and if provoked enough, he would not hesitate to act. He wanted to strike her, to demand what right she had to do such a thing. His hand lifted, but at the sight of her tear-streaked eyes, he clenched his fist tightly and lowered it with a resigned sigh.
"This is the last time, Ruoxi."
Bai Zhanfeng's voice was ice, each word a warning steeped in finality.
What right did she have? Simply because she was the Lady of the Bai household? Such entitlement belittled him. He wanted to argue with her, yet a sudden weariness washed over him. Facing her, he felt despair, a realization that speaking to her was a waste of words.
Women had never meant much to him; they were incidental figures in his life. He never expected to fall so completely, yet his heart was bound to someone who was beyond his reach. If she had not been his wife, he wouldn't have tolerated her to this extent.
This situation was partially his fault. But as for the love she sought, he could not give it. He had made it clear to her: if she ever wanted to leave, he would let her go so she could seek her own happiness. He did not love her; in fact, he felt resentment toward her. How could he offer her warmth or kindness? All he felt was guilt. He hoped this small remnant of guilt would not be eroded; otherwise, they truly would be at the end of their journey.
Their marriage required only that each play their role. Extra emotions were burdensome. As long as she refrained from overstepping or challenging his limits, he would turn a blind eye. After all, he had failed her as a husband.
Finishing, Bai Zhanfeng glanced at Ruoxi and turned to leave.
Ruoxi's shock subsided, and she ran forward, embracing Bai Zhanfeng from behind. "Young master, please, stay with me tonight."
He frowned, reaching to remove her hands from his waist, but Ruoxi only tightened her grip, refusing to let go. She sobbed, "Young master, what must I do?"