"Ruoxi."
Bai Zhanfeng's tone held a stern edge, his brows knit tightly together. He couldn't understand what she was trying to change, but whatever it was, she would achieve nothing with this approach. He didn't like Ruoxi, and he despised love born from humiliation even more.
"Just be yourself."
His father had introduced him to more than one suitable match, including daughters of prominent Bai ministers and even generals. These women seemed more aligned with his own values, and yet his father favored Ruoxi. The reason Bai Zhanfeng chose her was because his father claimed she was dignified, well-mannered, intelligent, and proud. He admired prideful women, those who would never bow before hardship—a preference shaped by Xianyue's influence. Even amidst a crowd, Xianyue's presence was singular, a head held high with a gaze of unyielding pride. In contrast, Ruoxi's submissive demeanor disappointed him, and he bore part of the blame.
Still, he reasoned it mattered little. He had married merely to honor his father's wishes; without love, any choice was inconsequential. As long as she knew her place, he had assured his father, who had repeatedly praised her as perceptive and honorable. Yet, in reality, she was far from it. His regret over his choice grew. Had he married another, perhaps this situation would not have unfolded.
What did he want from her? The Ruoxi he once knew and the Ruoxi now seemed like two different people. He hoped she would return to who she once was, unchanged by his presence, as if she could be the person his father had described.
Political marriages were common among officials. Such alliances lacked affection, so she should not have expected more or crossed boundaries.
Xianyue had left today, allegedly due to an approaching army led by Cheng Qiang, but he suspected other reasons. Regardless, Ruoxi would never believe he had no role in any of this.
That knowledge only fueled his frustration. Ruoxi's words implied she blamed both him and Xianyue, and her lack of accountability disappointed him. He valued strength and resilience in a woman, qualities he found lacking in her now. What he could not tolerate was her condescension toward Xianyue. Ruoxi's shallow assessment, based on mere days of observation, infuriated him. After all, this was not even her firsthand knowledge. Did she think the whole world blind, taking the word of a maid over what the world knew?
"Young master, it's been over a month. Will you still not forgive me?"
Ruoxi clung to him desperately, pressing her face to his back. "To continue the Bai family line, to fulfill Grandfather's desire for a great-grandson—that is my duty."
Bai Zhanfeng understood this. His aging father was deeply concerned, primarily because of his feelings for Xianyue. His father's concern weighed heavily on him, but none of that mattered now. His father was the one person he considered family, and the last thing he wanted was to let him down. During their cold war, he seldom returned to the Bai household, and even when he did, he secluded himself in the study. He knew this pressured Ruoxi, yet he never imagined she would resort to such manipulation.
"Young master, tell me, was I wrong?"
Ruoxi wept uncontrollably. She only wanted a child, to bring joy to his father and provide her life with meaning. She hoped that through a child, Bai Zhanfeng would finally turn his heart toward her. How could such thoughts be wrong? She couldn't see her fault.
Her blind persistence left Bai Zhanfeng speechless. He still remembered his heart stirring at the news of Xianyue's arrival in Baichu. Yet that night, as he lay drugged by Ruoxi, he felt he had betrayed Xianyue. Since then, he wondered if another man would have suffered the same as he did.
"Young master, please, tell me—what does Xianyue have that I lack? I will change; I'll be whoever you want me to be."
Her voice was loud, her tears betraying her collapse. Once, as a girl, she had only dreamed of marrying Bai Zhanfeng, content just to be at his side. She now realized that desire was a bottomless pit. Once her wish had been granted, she only longed for more.
These days had been unbearable. As the beloved daughter of the Chen family, a celebrated talent in Chu, her family's home had been flooded with suitors. And yet, her husband viewed her with such indifference. When she saw him look at Xianyue with such warmth, she wished he could look at her that way, even if it cost her life. Was that truly asking too much?
Others envied her for marrying into the prestigious Bai family, but who could understand her sorrow?
"Your father has not been well. Go back to visit him tomorrow and spend some time with him."
Ruoxi froze, staring at Bai Zhanfeng's cold profile. Was he sending her away? All for that woman, Xianyue? What had she done wrong? She had only acted as any woman would.
Her gaze hardened, a chill spreading through her. Was he truly abandoning her, simply because she had sent Xianyue away from the Bai residence?
With all her strength drained in an instant, Chen Ruoxi sank to the ground, clutching Bai Zhanfeng's leg, refusing to let go. The thought of being cast out of the Bai residence left her mind blank.
Heartbroken? Perhaps her heart was already dead. When she'd first heard Bai Zhanfeng dismiss Nian Xiaoyu, she'd felt more relieved than sympathetic—he had yet to accept anyone, which left her a glimmer of hope. Now, was this her retribution? Had Nian Xiaoyu also felt the same desolation when scorned and mocked by Bai Zhanfeng, but refused to let go due to love's fervor? Nian Xiaoyu had finally moved on, but could she? As Bai Zhanfeng's wife, even returning to the Chen household would invite rumors, and her grandfather would ultimately insist she return.
She resented Xianyue, yet she couldn't help but envy her. No matter her feelings, Xianyue commanded fame across the land, outshining all princesses. Even Princess Chuxue, a beauty among beauties, had been overlooked by Lan Wang in favor of Xianyue, who had captured his heart to the point of inspiring his loyalty unto death. Of all the women in the world, why did the most distinguished men always favor her? Showered with boundless affection, she remained indifferent, likely unaware of how intensely others envied and resented her.
Bai Zhanfeng allowed Chen Ruoxi to cling to him without pulling away. The man he was now was no longer the Bai Zhanfeng of old; he wouldn't treat Chen Ruoxi with the same harshness he once had shown to Nian Xiaoyu. Having tasted the bitterness of unrequited love himself, he understood, to some extent, her suffering.
But even so, he could not give Chen Ruoxi what she desired, nor would he offer her any promises. Affection was not something one could simply grant on demand.
Chen Ruoxi sat on the ground, her mind having already endured countless, silent cries of despair. Yet this time, she dared not display her anger; she knew that blaming Xianyue would only fuel Bai Zhanfeng's disdain.
"I will not return, my lord," she stated firmly, each word heavy with determination.
She would stay in the Bai residence. This was the dream of her youth, and having come this far, she wouldn't retreat—not merely for herself but for her family's honor. She would not bear that shame, nor would the Chen family. She knew those who had long envied her position were eager to see her fall, but she would not give them the satisfaction.
"I, Chen Ruoxi, was born a woman of the Bai family and will die as a ghost of the Bai family."
Her hand drifted to her abdomen, lingering in a moment of silent contemplation. Another thought suddenly came to her, and she gently placed her hand on her belly. A month had passed, and soon, she might know the answer.
Bai Zhanfeng turned, watching as Chen Ruoxi pushed herself up, her face pale and tear-streaked. A flicker of pity crossed his heart as he reached out to pull her to her feet, only to release her hand moments later.
"If you wish to stay, then mind your duties," he said. The Bai and Chen families had a long-standing alliance, and he did not wish for anything to disrupt their bond.
Chen Ruoxi gazed at his retreating figure, her heart chilled. Her hopes with him were dashed, but she would reclaim what was hers. Since the virtuous Miss Xianyue was held in such high regard, then she would start there.