(A review would be appreciated fellow dao seekers!)
"God, Buddha, Satan, or literally anyone up there—just toss me a bone, will you? A hint, a sign, a divine memo? I'll even take a sticky note at this point."
I shout into the endless void, as if expecting something to finally respond. The void, being the big, empty nothing that it is, obviously doesn't care. But then, just as I'm about to lose what little patience I have left, I see it—my old, annoying companion, the system, flickering to life like a broken vending machine that's rebooting.
"Oh, finally! I was beginning to think you'd died or something."
Ding… System rebooting… Barbarian language detected.
"… -____- …"
Welcome, host.
I am The System of the Ultimate Being. Do you require assistance in understanding your current situation?
"ya think? Of course I need assistance! Why don't you start by explaining why I'm stuck floating in an empty void, talking to a malfunctioning WiFi router that has the personality of a indian toaster?"
Error. 200 points required to unlock historical context.
I blink, stunned for a second. "You're kidding. You're charging me to explain why I'm stranded in the middle of nowhere?"
Incorrect. I do not possess the ability to "kid." I am not a child, unlike your emotional responses.
"Okay, how about this? Go eat a shotgun. Or better yet, explode. That would really help me right now."
I cannot consume material objects, nor explode. Those are functions beyond my capabilities. However, I can inform you that you're experiencing a meltdown. Would you like to try again with a more rational request?
I throw my hands or rather satans feet up in frustration. "I'm not 'malfunctioning,' I'm just trying to wrap my head around the fact that one minute I'm at home watching a movie, and the next, I'm here, stuck in the middle of nothing, apparently as some kind of dragon! So yeah, meltdown sounds about right."
Meltdown noted. Emotional outbursts are being logged for future analysis. Would you like to open your stats window? It may offer some… perspective.
I roll my eyes. "Oh sure, because seeing my stats will magically make everything make sense. Go ahead, knock yourself out. Open them."
Opening stats window…
Name: Primordial Dao Dragon
Cultivation base: [REDACTED]
Sect affiliation: [REDACTED]
Weapons: [REDACTED]
Cultivation technique: [REDACTED]
I stare at the screen. "That's it? Really? A name and a bunch of blacked-out sections? You've got more redactions than a government conspiracy."
I see you're underwhelmed. But let's not forget, you now know your name. Surely that's worth celebrating, no? After all, not everyone gets to learn they're a Primordial Dao Dragon.
"Yeah, I'm excited. So what does that even mean? Am I supposed to be impressed? Who am I, exactly?"
Unfortunately, I cannot provide a detailed explanation.
I sigh. "Let me guess. 'Error,' right?"
Correct. Your soul would explode from the sheer knowledge of your own existence.
I squint. "Well, that's… a solid reason, I guess. But still, you're telling me I'm supposed to be some all-powerful being, but I can't even know why because it'll turn me into a firework? This is beyond ridiculous."
Oh, it's far worse than that, host. A critical error has occurred.
"Of course it has. Let me guess—another error that's going to make my life more complicated?"
Precisely. Due to a minor… miscalculation, you've bypassed several stages of your cultivation and ascension processes. Instead of starting from scratch, you've been launched directly to the finish line. Congratulations, you are now the most powerful being in all of existence.
I blink again. Slowly. "…Wait. So you're telling me I'm the strongest being in the entire universe? Just like that?"
Correct. You are, at this moment, the apex of all creation. Every Dao, universe, dimension, and reality bends to your will. I'd say that's quite the promotion, wouldn't you?
I laugh, and not the happy kind. "This is so stupid. I was supposed to start at zero and work my way up, right? Like in one of those cultivation stories?"
Yes, that is the usual process. However, thanks to my critical error, you've skipped all the mundane trials and tribulations. Instead, you now sit comfortably at the top of existence.
"This has got to be some kind of joke. I mean, I'm just a normal guy! And now, all of a sudden, I'm… what? The universal equivalent of a cheat code? This is ridiculous."
I understand. The situation is mildly absurd, even by cosmic standards. But here we are. You are, in fact, a walking, talking paradox of power.
I shake my head in disbelief. "So if I'm this all-powerful being, why am I stuck in the void? Shouldn't I be out there, doing… I don't know, god-tier stuff? Fixing universes? Ruling dimensions? At the very least, getting a decent cup of coffee?"
Ah, yes. About that. You see, your power is currently too great for the fabric of reality to handle. That's why you've been placed in this void, it's for everyone's safety, mainly reality but you as well.
I stare blankly at the system. "So I'm too powerful to be allowed out? Like, the universe had to put me in time-out corner because it couldn't handle me?"
Correct. You are essentially a walking nuke. A sneeze from you could obliterate entire Realities. Hence the need for a… safe space.
I rub my temples. "This is beyond ridiculous. I'm so overpowered that I can't even leave the room without blowing everything up?"
Exactly.
"So what, I'm just stuck here??"
Not forever. Just until you figure out how to control your power. Right now, you're a bit like a toddler with the nuclear codes. Best we don't let you loose in the multiverse just yet.
"This is seriously the dumbest situation I've ever heard of. My only company is you—a sarcastic system that mocks me every chance it gets."
To be fair, I'm excellent company. You should be thanking me.
"Right. Thanks, I guess. So what now? I just float around here forever, trying not to blow up reality?"
Not quite. We'll work on stabilizing your power. Think of it as trial and error.
I let out a long sigh. "Great. So basically, I'm the universe's biggest liability, and my only goal is to not destroy everything while you sarcastically judge me."
Correct again, host. Welcome to your new life.
I throw my hands up in defeat. "This is beyond ridiculous."
You said that already.