"You're crazy."
I couldn't stop myself from smiling a bit. She really knew how to make me laugh. Or maybe, it's just because of her in particular. She giggled upon seeing her success.
"So? What happened? Why did you come back?"
"I don't know. You know how we're supposed to set off outside now that I'm 16?" She nodded.
"Back then, I was actually thinking that we could just stay here at home instead. Like if I hadn't come back from the future, that decision would be the conversation we'd be having right now. For the next six years, we just lived here with each other. And, then, suddenly I'm here."
"What?"
"Exactly what I said. It just suddenly happened. Yesterday, I was just living life together with Vera."
"With me, you mean."
"Yeah, with Vera." She narrowed her eyes.
"With me." I averted my eyes.
"With Vera." Her eyes narrowed even further.
"...Go on."
"The only thing I know is that — on the eve of my 16th birthday — I had a dream, and when I woke up I didn't remember any of it. Last night, I had nearly the exact same dream as before, but, this time, I do remember it."
"What did you dream of?"
"It's a prophecy of some kind, but it's mostly intelligible. I'll write it down later for you. The difference between the two dreams is that the one last night had an additional voice talking. She asked me 'Where were you?' and then I woke up."
"So our only avenue so far is finding that girl?"
"That's what I figured. I'm still thinking of how to proceed from now on."
A strange silence filled the air. I could tell she was having an internal debate with herself.
After a brief pause, her face straightened up and she finally made up her mind. She cautiously asked.
"Was… earlier because you lost Vera?"
She knows I made the distinction between her and my Vera clear enough for her to pick up on it. Seeing my non-response, she just quietly hugged me. I hugged her back. We stayed like that for minutes until the silence finally felt comfortable.
"Dina…"
"Yeah?"
"Can you tell me stories of our future together?"
She snuggled into me as we cuddled on the sofa as I regaled her with my memories of Vera.
Time for dinner had come and passed with neither of us realizing it. I heard a cute growl from the figure beside me. Seeing her blush, I pretended I didn't hear it. I stood up to start making a quick dinner for us both.
"Master, wait! Let me do it." She hurriedly caught up to me.
"You're not the slightest bit interested in trying out my cooking?"
"It's not that! In fact, I'm super curious!" She vehemently denied as she crossed her arms in an X. "It would be unbecoming of a maid to let her master serve her. Especially today."
"You're not my maid." I paused. "And it's because it's my birthday that I want to make something for you. So just sit here tight and wait, okay?" I gently pushed her onto a dining chair.
Seeing her puff her cheeks, torn between wanting to help me and wanting to try what I made, brightened up my mood. I started whipping up Vera's favorite simple fried chicken with a generous amount of gravy.
This would actually be the first time that she'd taste something I made. Before she started her maid act, we just ate ready-made food available in the pantry. …this would be the first time she'd taste my cooking, even though Vera was the one who taught me how to cook. Vera taught me gradually by cooking together with me. The first meal that I made that Vera tasted was a dish born of my collaboration with Vera as Vera guided me step by step.
Her first Dina-made dish would instead be a meal perfected over the years, unknowing of the moments I spent with Vera to achieve it. That memory of Vera teaching me how to cook would only remain in my mind, alone. This would be the first difference of many between her and Vera.
Whenever I think of her, I see Vera superimposed on top. I still can't distance her from Vera. I didn't really think about what makes a person who they are closely before. I believe that a person is a product of a mixture of their innate soul, their environment, their actions, their reactions, their experiences, their memories. Change a smidgen of the ingredients that made up that person; would they still be the exact same person?
My answer to that would be no.
Let's say flour is a person's soul. There's a lot of things that you can do with flour, let's take that as their experience. The flour could become bread, cake, cookies, and so much more. Taking that analogy, my Vera would be chiffon cake, a variety of sponge cake. She, on the other hand, would be like the base of a sponge cake. She and Vera are exactly the same up until today. She would never become the Vera I know because her experiences will be different, her memories will be different. Accordingly, she might not become a chiffon cake, but an angel food cake instead. They would be similar people, but different.
This is why I want to — and I'm trying to — delineate the difference between her and Vera. Because, while I do still love her, I fell even harder for the person I was with the last six years — with Vera.
I placed the food on the table, sat down and motioned for her to start eating. I watched as she took her first bite, trying to engrave this moment in my memory.
"It's good! Super good, Master!" Seeing her eyes light up radiantly in happiness was a moment I swore I wouldn't forget. I started eating as well.
"Master, how did you learn how to cook?"
"Vera taught me everything I know." Her face crumpled up.
"Tell me everything about that story too."
I nodded and started telling her everything about that moment in my memory, selfishly hoping that — in this way — my memories of Vera lives on outside my own.
We finished up our dinner, cleaned up, and got ready to sleep. Bidding her good night, I went into my room and laid down on the bed staring at the ceiling.
This would mark the end of the first day of my regression. I needed to plan for what I need to do to find the fuckers responsible; the heat inside ignited once more. My only clue right now is that girl looking for me. I don't know anything about her, but I do know that she knows something about me.
If she was looking for me, that means she should have a way to be able to recognize me. A way to identify me. If that's the case, I need to make a name for myself. I don't know when she'd start looking for me, but there's at least six years for her to find me.
My first deviation will be attending a Mana Institute instead of holing myself up at home. Becoming a Dungeon Diver right away would also be an option, though it would be harder without using mana especially if I'm with her. Since she's coming with me, attending a Mana Institute should be the better option. It would give her some sort of academy life too. Vera was awfully fond of reading those sorts of stories of lives in an academy. So I'd like her to experience that kind of life for herself personally.
The institute we should apply for would be Vier Academy. Mana Institutes exist all over the Empire of Vier, but, in the empire, only one had the title of Academy which is located in the capital of Vier.
Mana Institutes usually only lasts for a single year and is mainly for learning how to use and sense mana. Numerous Mana Institutes exist all over the place because pretty much everyone over the age of 16 attends in order to sense and use mana.
Academies, on the other hand, lasts for three years and teaches more than just using mana. They teach about monsters, dungeons, magic engineering, and everything in between. Mana Institutes are free to teach other things and develop themselves in order to become an Academy however the accreditation of the title solely lies in the discretion of the Central Mana Institute. The foremost Mana Institute in the Northern World; the center of everything magic. Where they don't teach mana, but is instead focused on discovering more about mana.
That reminds me, I have to try testing my mana tomorrow. I already know how it feels, what it's like, and how to use it so it should be relatively easy to learn this time around.
Attending and graduating from the Academy would guarantee me a solid background. After that, becoming a prominent Dungeon Diver would grant me some modicum of fame. Doing something no one has done before like clearing a Dungeon would also instantly catapult my name into superstardom. She should be able to find me if I become that well known.
With a rough plan formed in my head, I closed my eyes and tried to sleep.
It… felt cold.
"Dina."
I ignored the echoes and hugged my pillow tightly.
"Dina…"
The faint echo sounded louder yet muffled. I wrapped my face with another pillow trying to cover my ears in a vain attempt to silence the loneliness.
"Dina, are you still awake?" I heard the door open.
"Oh, it's just you." Relieved that I wasn't just hearing things, I greeted her with a smile.
Her face scrunched up as she approached my bed.
"What is it?" I tried keeping my smile.
Staying silent, she laid down on my bed beside me and hugged me.
"Vera."
Confused, I muttered out. "What do you mean?"
"You haven't called me Vera for the whole day, today."
"Oh."
"It's okay."
"I'm sorry."
"I already said it's okay, didn't I?" She hugged me tighter. "I can't lie and say I understand what you're feeling. I also can't lie and say I'm not hurt by it, but I can take it." She pressed her head to my chest. Her hair still a bit moist, evidence of having taken a shower.
I embraced her. Was I being too selfish? No matter how I felt, I should never have let it hurt her as well. I shouldn't have let it hurt Vera. I felt a different kind of pain in my heart compared to earlier.
Guilt.
If I look at it from her point of view, I just suddenly started treating her differently and became unable to say her name. Of course, she'd be hurt because of it.
"I'm sorry V-." The name couldn't leave my mouth. I couldn't do it.
Guilt started building up. I kissed the top of her head and tightened the hug.
"I'm so sorry."
"Dina, I swear it's okay." She lifted her head. She cupped my face in her hands.
"You don't have to say anything, okay?"
She kissed me.
Her boldness surprised me. She had never been this bold around this time.
Her eyes, filled with resolve, stared at me and she spoke. No, she pledged.
"It might be weird for me to feel jealous of my future self, but."
She paused.
"I swear to God, I'll make you fall in love with me more than her."