Halfway into finishing her absorption of Diabolos' remnant mana, a swell surged up inside her. Information flooded her brain and her consciousness slipped away.
As ▯▯ ▯▯ looms
▯▯ scion sprouts
An echo greeted her when her mind awoke. This was... this was the same dream six years ago. She already knew all she could about it. It wasn't worth listening to. It was much better to gain her bearings on her current predicament. She tuned out the noise and tried to sense out everything surrounding her. Last time this happened, she was much too confused to make out anything at all. She closed her eyes and breathed in.
There was no mana in the air. No, scratch that. There was no air to breathe in at all.
If so, then I just need to let mine out.
She tried to feel for the mana inside her.
But if that's the case, I shouldn't be able to breathe. Uh... I guess this is a dream, after all. Or rather, since this is just a dream, I can just take control. No?
"Light."
And then there was light. It was much easier than she expected. She just had to imagine what she wanted and will it into existence. There was no need for mana at all.
There was nothing present in the empty white place she found herself in, except for a hazy image in the far end. She willed herself to come closer and the haze condensed into a solid, albeit slightly transparent, form. The apparition's silver color was its only distinct feature.
Jibril tilted her head.
There's someone else here? Since it's pretty much the same dream, does that mean they were also there six years ago?
Her eyes widened in realization as the information that made her pass out resurfaced to the forefront.
Ah. I see. So there was supposed to be someone else. Haaa... he was the one slated to slay Diabolos. Yet he ran. He hid. He ran. He hid. He ran. He hid. Had he been there when Diabolos first descended, could the City of Zwerg have survived? Would they have been able to mount a resistance? More than that, could he have helped with everything else? Could... would we have won against them with his presence?
Reflexively, she chanted.
"I act with joy, I act with grace."
Yet nothing happened. The disgusting feelings inside her still remained.
Her facade finally crumbled as her face turned in distraught. Her emotions started to spiral out of control, releasing it towards the only other occupant present.
"Where were you?"
It took everything she had in her to not scream out at him. It took everything she had in her to not blame him for everything. It took everything she had in her to not just kill him herself.
Yet... yet even with all the patience she showed him, he still didn't answer.
She didn't have to hold back for too long as the silver haze disappeared like a wisp of smoke soon after.
Now it was just her in this place. On her own. Alone. Without the comfort of her mana to relieve her of her feelings.
I... ah. Is it because it's a dream that it didn't work?
The emotions she tried avoiding all this time were back in full force. Her heart thumped and ached. Her throat tightened.
This... this is just a dream. I...I can just wake up. And these feelings will disappear. Yes, that's right. I just need to —
"Waaake up!"
A peppy voice jolted her awake — a voice she'd long forgot. Unbidden tears forced itself out of her eyes. She had already started crying before her mind even registered whose voice it was that woke her up. While her mind was late to remember, her body and soul were quick in recognizing the sweet caring voice of the most important person in her life — Vilvarind Lalwendë, her mother.
"Jibril-honey, what's wrong?" Warmth engulfed her as her mom wrapped her in a hug. She leaned into her embrace.
A dream in a dream?
Although she knew this was just a figment of her imagination, a delusion wrought by loneliness, she still couldn't help but accept it.
It should... It should be fine for me to fool myself for a bit and pretend everything's alright, right?
Her decision made, she stopped holding back and hugged her mom back.
Her long stunted emotions, freed from their chains, burst out uncontrollably. Out of practice with being in touch with her inner self; she didn't know what to do, what to say, what her hands should be doing. Everything was awkward for her.
The last time she'd seen her mom was two years ago. When the pale horse brought with it the Edelasse Dungeon Break and released an overflow of monsters from the dungeon that devastated everything around it. Back then, she was outside the empire, trying to clear the Ajeyo Dungeon. She rushed back home as soon as she heard the news, but she was too late. By the time she got back, survivors already held a funeral for her and others who died during the disaster. She had died protecting people and bought time for them to evacuate. Jibril didn't even manage to see her mom's body.
No. Don't.
Shoving that memory into the deepest recesses of her mind, she tightened her embrace as her mom started humming the same lullaby she always did.
"Dun dun dun dun. Dun dun dun dun. Dun dun dun. Dun. Dun dun dun. Dun dun dun dun."
The offbeat tune soothed her soul. It was a reminder that even though her mom knew she had no talent in music, she still tried her best whenever she asked for a song. That she was loved. It was, after all, the first thing her mom did when she found her in the woods in the southern part of Edelasse and took her in as her own.
She didn't know how long she laid there in her mother's embrace, relishing the sensations of being loved.
"Are you feeling better now Jibril — my baby? Oh um... sweetie." Vilvarin, remembering that her daughter didn't like being called a baby, quickly rectified herself.
"What! No! You can! You can, mom! You can!" Her agitated tone ardently tried to convince her mom that she could.
A bit surprised by the suddenness of her daughter, Vilvarin shrugged it off as one of her kid's weird quirks and quickly consoled her.
"Alright, alright. My baby. My cutie patootie baby." She wiped away the tears still streaming out of her daughter's eyes.
"You don't have to say it like that."
"Gosh, my baby's sooo picky. I raised you better than that." Seeing the cute frown she made, Vilvarin squeezed the lights out of Jibril's cheeks and kissed her forehead. With the tears being cleared away from her eyes, Jibril could finally take in the sight of her mom and she couldn't stop the welling joy in her heart.
Her gilded hair — the same color as mine! — shined with the shimmer of the morning light. Smooth youthful skin — more youthful than mine!? — peeked out through the gaps of her messy fringe — I'm the one who cuts her hair! A small cute blue butterfly hairpin fastened her hair on the side — I had an identical one in the past! Emblazoned emeralds — sadly, different from my own golden eyes — glimmered in adoration in her direction. Her white flowy dress, light in fabric, hid her form quite well.
And, of course, the main reason one could evidently tell that Vilvarin wasn't her real mother at all. Her particularly long pointed ears compared to Jibril's human ones. The source of the slight alienation she sometimes felt whenever she looked at her mom. She knew her mom loved her to death, but she couldn't help the unwanted feelings that would just suddenly make its presence known inside of her.
"Jeez Louise! How many times have I told you that you're my daughter no matter what anyone says!" Her mother's unusually sharp insight really only showed itself on incidents like these, a wide contrast to her normally ditzy personality.
"I know, mom."
"Fine. Come here you." She pulled her daughter into her and started her chant.
"Hlar tailë."⁽¹⁾
Jibril knew this spell. This was the one her mother always cast for her whenever she asked for it. An inconsequential spell for all intents and purposes. A useless spell since it was easily disruptable and had zero attack power. Yet, it was her favorite spell of all since it allowed her to pretend to share the same ears as her mother. In the past; she had used this spell on her self all the time whenever she was away from home, although she never told her mom that she did it.
"Angal."⁽²⁾ Vilvarin waved a hand. "See this? My cute cute child."
She looked into the makeshift mirror that her mom conjured for her. What greeted her back was the epitome of a mother and daughter cuddled together. It felt like she went back in time. Similar hair, similar hairpins, similar smile, and especially similar ears. She couldn't stop herself.
"I missed you mom. I missed you so much. I love you. I'm sorry I never said it out loud much before. I'm sorry I was too late to make it. I'm sorry I couldn't save you. I'm sorry I couldn't avenge you. I'm so sorry mom. I love you so much. Thank you for everything. Thank you for taking me in. Thank you for treating me as your own. You're the best mom in the world."