Chapter 20: More Zombies?
– Haru –
Damn, this was starting to smell really good.
I was behind the counter, stirring a pot of steaming broth, the rich smell of chicken and spices filling the air. I had some noodles boiling in another pot and was slicing green onions on a cutting board when the door to the restaurant swung open. Naruko stepped in, her purple eyes searching the room until they landed on me.
"Hey, Haru," she said, a little hesitantly. She shifted on her feet. "I wanted to say sorry for… you know, the mess I made yesterday..."
I snorted, unable to keep a grin off my face. "Are you kidding? Watching you roll around on the ground with Sakura and Ino was probably the highlight of my week." I winked. "Besides, it was pretty hot."
Her face turned as red as her hair, which she reached up to rub nervously. "I guess my temper does match my hair sometimes."
"Sometimes?" I raised an eyebrow, smirking as I turned back to the green onions. "I'd say 'always' might be more accurate."
Naruko gave me a playful shove from across the counter. "Shut up."
"What, can't handle the truth?" I teased, sliding the chopped onions into a small bowl.
She rolled her eyes but smiled. "So, what are you making?"
"Ramen," I said, motioning to the simmering broth. Her eyes lit up in delight, as I was expecting. One does not mention ramen before an Uzumaki without expecting that kind of reaction.
"Can I help?" she asked, already stepping behind the counter before I could answer.
"Sure," I said, passing her a pair of tongs. "You can handle the noodles. Make sure they don't get overcooked."
"Yes, chef Haru!" she said with a mock salute, making me chuckle. Naruko grabbed the pot and started stirring the noodles while I adjusted the heat on the broth and added a few spices. We worked side by side, her shoulder bumping into mine now and then. Every time she got a little too close, I got a whiff of her scent. She smelled a little bit like a fox and I can't say I disliked it.
"So," I said, glancing over at her, "how often do you throw down with your friends over guys? Or am I just special?" I teased her.
"Oh, you're definitely special," she teased right back. "But don't get too full of yourself. Ino just knows how to push my buttons…"
I sat down with Naruko in one of the booths. The Fox Hole was empty, save for the two of us and the faint sound of ramen noodles being slurped. I watched her out of the corner of my eye as she took a bite, her purple eyes lighting up at the taste. She caught me staring and blushed, making me grin. There was something we'd been skirting around for a while, and it was time to finally bring it up. I set my bowl down and leaned back. "So, Naruko," I said, watching her closely. "Do you like me?"
She choked on her noodles, turning bright red as she coughed and tried to recover. "W-what?" She laughed nervously, then sighed, her shoulders dropping. "Yeah. I do," she admitted, barely above a whisper.
I nodded, half-smiling. "I figured. I should tell you, though—I already have two girlfriends. Rias and Aela. And there might be more in the future. In my world, the strong seem to naturally attract… well, harems." This was the kind of thing you really had to be blunt about.
Naruko bit her lip, looking thoughtful. "There's a similar thing here in Konoha, you know. Strong shinobi sometimes have harems thrown at them. It's kind of a tradition or whatever." She snorted, giving me a playful look. "Everyone thought Sasuke would have, like, twenty wives by now. Then he ran away like an idiot!"
I laughed at that, the image of the brooding Sasuke Uchiha trying to handle twenty wives was hilarious. "Maybe that's why he bailed. I mean, a harem is awesome, but twenty? That's way overkill."
Naruko set her bowl down and looked at me, a little more serious now. "I'm okay with you having other girlfriends. I mean, I'd like to try dating you, too. And I wouldn't mind if you ended up going out with Sakura or Ino either." She grinned, a mischievous sparkle in her eyes. "You're a way better option than Sas-gay, at least."
I snorted, nearly choking on a laugh. "Sas-gay? Really?"
She nodded, giggling. "Yeah, Naruto came up with that nickname. It stuck with a few of us."
I shook my head, amused. "Well, that's one way to put it. So, you're serious about this? You're okay with all of it?"
"Yeah," she said, looking down for a moment before meeting my eyes again. "I know what I want, and I'm not afraid to go after it. If that means sharing you with others, then so be it!"
I reached over and took her hand, giving it a light squeeze. "I like you, too, Naruko. Let's give this a shot, see where it goes."
Her face lit up, and she squeezed my hand back. "Deal," she said, a smile spreading across her face.
…
I leaned back in my chair, staring up at the ceiling with a mix of amusement and confusion. So, I had a third girlfriend now? Sort of, anyway. Naruko and I needed to go on a few dates to see if we really clicked or if this was just another one of those things that seemed great in the moment.
She'd left about an hour ago, something about training with Naruto and Kakashi. They'd been gone for three years, and Tsunade wanted to see what they could do now. It made me wonder if this world was just now hitting the Shippuden stage?
Then again, nothing here was exactly as I remembered it from the manga. Naruto had a twin sister, ninjas didn't graduate from the academy until they were sixteen, and the people of the village were really stupid–no wait, that part was canon!
The door to my restaurant swung open, interrupting my thoughts. I glanced over and saw Frieren walk in. The elf was as calm and stoic as ever, her expression not giving anything away. But this time, she wasn't alone. A girl with short purple hair followed her inside, her eyes darting around curiously.
"See, Fern, I'm not crazy," Frieren said. She gestured around the restaurant as if that was all the proof needed. The girl next to her, Fern, raised an eyebrow and glanced around the place. She didn't look entirely convinced yet.
"It's not exactly what I pictured," Fern said, crossing her arms. "You said it was run by an entirely new sentient race?"
I stood up from my chair and smirked, letting my tails wave lazily behind me as I walked over. "That's me. Haru, the Kitsune at your service, my fair lady."
Fern nodded calmly. "Ok…" That was all the reaction I was getting? This girl was like a mini copy of her teacher, except human.
"Haru, this is my apprentice, Fern. She didn't believe me when I told her about this place," Frieren said.
"I don't blame her," I said, chuckling. "Welcome to The Fox Hole, Fern. I guess now you know that Frieren's not losing it."
Fern glanced at Frieren, who still looked as stoic as ever, before finally turning back to me. "I'm not sure if I'm relieved or more confused," she said bluntly.
I leaned forward with a grin. "Since it's your first time in The Fox Hole, Fern, what do you want? It's on the house."
Fern started to say something, her eyes narrowing. "We're not charity cases, fox—"
Before she could finish, Frieren's hand shot out and covered her mouth, shushing her quickly. Fern glared at her master, eyes full of indignation, while Frieren just gave her that calm, unreadable look she always had. I couldn't help but chuckle at the scene. I suspected from that reaction that they were, in fact, hurting for money.
"Relax," I said. "A couple of weeks ago, I took down a dragon by myself and sold off its bones and scales. Dragon bone weapons are top-tier in Skyrim, one of the few things that can pierce a dragon's hide like butter. I made a killing selling them all off." I could run my restaurant for a year straight and not have to charge anyone if I wanted to.
Frieren's eyes widened a fraction, which was about as close to shock as I'd seen her get. "You slew a dragon alone?" she said, sounding genuinely impressed. "I haven't fought one of those in a long time."
"Yep."
Fern shifted in her seat, eyeing me differently now. "If you're offering, I want pancakes. We've been traveling a lot, and I haven't had a good home-cooked meal in ages."
"Pancakes, huh?" I said, already heading to the kitchen. "You got it. These will be the best pancakes you've ever tasted!"
As I mixed the batter, Frieren's voice cut through the quiet. "Did you know your restaurant moved, Haru?"
My fox ears twitched, catching her words. I glanced back at her. "It did?"
She nodded, her eyes still fixed on me. "Yes. We're in a different town from the one where I first found your restaurant. It appeared in this new town, almost like it was following Fern and me."
I paused, processing that. "Huh," I said, a little surprised. "That's strange. It's never done that before. Not in any dimension I've been to, anyway." I flipped the pancakes and smirked at her. "But hey, I'm glad it did. Good to see you again, Frieren."
Her expression didn't change much, but I caught the faintest hint of pink on her cheeks. She glanced away, playing it cool, but I knew I'd gotten a reaction out of her.
Fern's scowl deepened. "Master, be careful. This fox guy is dangerous. The kind who'll seduce women and leave them heartbroken..." she trailed off.
I almost dropped the spatula. "What? No way! I've never broken a girl's heart. I've never even had a breakup, for that matter."
Fern puffed her cheeks, crossing her arms like she didn't buy a word of it. "Yeah, right. I don't believe you."
I sighed, flipping the last pancake onto a plate and bringing it over. "Well, believe it or not, I'm not that kind of guy."
I placed the plate of pancakes in front of Fern, who eyed them suspiciously before picking up her fork. The first bite she took made her eyes go wide, and even Frieren raised an eyebrow when Fern let out a small, involuntary sound of satisfaction.
"Good?" I asked, smirking.
Fern reluctantly nodded, chewing slowly. "Better than I expected," she admitted. "But I won't fall in love with you just because you can cook…"
Smack!
I chuckled as I watched Fern pout, rubbing the back of her head where Frieren had just smacked her. The elf leaned back in her seat, still holding her stoic expression. "Stop being rude to someone who's giving us free food," she said calmly.
I guessed that was good advice, in a weird way. Frieren was an odd elf, but then again, she was the only elf I knew. Fern grumbled something under her breath but picked up her fork and dug back into her pancakes. The two of them sat there, enjoying their food in silence, and for a moment, everything was peaceful.
That moment ended when the door swung open, and in marched one of my favorite customers. His dark robes billowed as he entered, his skeletal face giving off that dramatic vibe he always had.
"Hey there, Skeletor—I mean, Ainz," I said with a playful grin.
Ainz sighed, shaking his head with the exasperation of someone who'd heard the nickname one too many times. "Hello, Haru. There was something I wanted to talk to you about—"
"Die, demon!"
Frieren leapt over her booth like she was spring-loaded and launched a fireball straight at Ainz. The spell hit with a loud thud, sending him skidding backward across my brand-new wooden floors, leaving a trail of burn and scrape marks.
"Great," I muttered, cringing at the damage. Those floors were going to need replacing now.
As the smoke cleared, Ainz stood unharmed, an amused chuckle echoing from his bony form. "Hoh hoh, not bad, elf," he said.
Frieren's jaw tightened, and she gripped her staff with a determined glare. "You're strong, demon, but I won't hold back this time." Fern immediately jumped out of the booth, ready to back up her master.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Stop, Frieren!" I shouted, stepping between them. "Why the hell are you attacking Ainz?"
Frieren's eyes stayed locked on Ainz, but she spared me a glance. "All demons are evil and must be exterminated! There's no reasoning with them!"
"That's kind of racist," Ainz said, lifting a skeletal hand. "And for the record, I'm not even a demon—I'm an undead."
"Oh…" Frieren's eyes widened slightly, and her face turned crimson. She looked down, her posture stiffening as she bowed low. "I am so sorry for attacking you," she said. Without missing a beat, she grabbed Fern's head and forced her into a bow as well.
"Hey! I didn't even do anything, Master!" Fern protested.
I let out a relieved breath, happy that things hadn't escalated into an all-out brawl. "Listen, Frieren, you've gotta remember that this place brings people from all sorts of dimensions. Demons in your world might be monsters, but that doesn't mean all of them are. I mean, Ainz's girlfriend, Albedo, is a succubus, and she's actually pretty fun."
"Girlfriend!?" Ainz sputtered, sounding shocked behind me.
Frieren's eyes narrowed slightly, processing my words, but she decided not to push it further. Then she looked around and finally seemed to notice the damage she had caused. Her expression shifted to one of horror. She turned to Fern, eyes wide. "Do we have the funds to pay for this damage?"
Fern gave her master a flat look. "I didn't do anything, and no, we don't. We're broke. It's hard to make money when all we do is wander around aimlessly..."
Frieren turned to me with a pleading look, but I just shrugged and waved her off. "Don't worry about it," I said. "Having a supernatural restaurant comes with the risk of things getting smashed to bits now and then. I'm prepared for it." My tails flicked behind me as I added, "Too bad insurance doesn't exist in the supernatural world. Or maybe that's a good thing…" I muttered in hindsight.
Frieren looked incredibly relieved to hear that.
Once Frieren stopped trying to roast Ainz on the spot, the skeleton lord straightened up, brushed off his robes, and gave a slight nod. "Allow me to properly introduce myself. I am Ainz Ooal Gown," he said, his deep voice steady. "I must say, if the demons in your world are so dangerous that they make you attack on sight, I'm curious to learn more about them."
Frieren looked at him, eyes narrowed but calmer. "You'd understand the moment you met one," she said simply, like it was an absolute truth.
I crossed my arms and leaned against the counter. "Ainz, you were going to tell me something before you got hit with a fireball?"
He was just about to answer when the door to my restaurant swung open, catching all of our attention. It had been a surprisingly busy day, and I was starting to wonder what the hell was going on with the universe today?
Commander Shepard stood in the doorway, wide-eyed, with a look that was a mix of disbelief and amusement. "Be careful, Commander! You don't know what this is!" a man shouted behind her.
Shepard threw a sheepish smile around the room and fully stepped inside. "Hey, Haru," she said, looking at me with a hint of a smile tugging at her lips.
"Jane! Already back from the Citadel?" I asked, surprised. I didn't think I'd see her again for weeks.
"Um… no." She shook her head and corrected me with a slight eye-roll. "And it's Shepard, remember? I'm still on my ship. Also, why in the hell is there a door to your restaurant on my ship?"
Before I could respond, the man behind her pushed his way in. "Commander, what the hell is this place!?" he demanded, eyes darting suspiciously around at everyone.
Shepard sighed, her posture relaxing as she placed her hands on her hips. "I told you about this place, Alenko. The restaurant in the Citadel that connects to other dimensions..."
He looked at her like she'd lost her mind. "You expected me—and the rest of the crew—to believe that was real? We thought you, Ashley, and Wrex were just drunk off your asses."
Shepard blushed, the red spreading across her cheeks in a way that was way too satisfying to see. "Well, we were drunk, but that's not the point," she argued. "Garrus and Tali weren't even drinking that night!"
Lieutenant Alenko crossed his arms, glancing between me and Ainz with a clear look of distrust. "Neither Garrus nor Tali ever mentioned this place actually being real."
Shepard muttered under her breath, "They probably didn't think anyone would believe them."
Ainz cleared his throat, clearly uninterested in the bickering. "As I was saying, Haru, your restaurant has appeared in my home, the Great Tomb of Nazarick."
I blinked in surprise. "It has?"
Ainz nodded. "Yes, but I also confirmed in Carne Village that your restaurant remains there as well." He tilted his skull-like face slightly, almost as if waiting for my reaction.
I shook my head in disbelief. "So, this place is just popping up everywhere now." I glanced over at Shepard, who was still trying to convince Alenko that everything was fine, that my restaurant wasn't some kind of trap.
The lieutenant didn't look convinced. His eyes kept flickering back to Ainz with visible unease, and then over to me with even more suspicion. He muttered something about "monsters," which I chose to ignore. Instead, I cleared my throat to get Shepard's attention. "Just to be clear, Shepard, it's only a door to my restaurant that's appeared on the Normandy, right? Not the whole building?"
Shepard grinned at me. "Haru, I gave you a tour of the Normandy. You should know that my ship isn't exactly big enough to fit your entire restaurant."
That actually got me wondering about the size of Ainz's place. If the entire Fox Hole could show up in the Tomb of Nazarick, the place must be huge.
Shepard didn't seem bothered by the new access to The Fox Hole. In fact, she looked pleased. "Can't say I mind it, honestly. Military rations suck—especially on spaceships. Plus…" Her gaze flicked over me, and she gave me a subtle smirk. "I'm glad to see you again, especially. Last time, I gave you a tour, but you didn't get to see every room. Specifically, the captain's quarters. Now I can give you a full tour anytime I want!" she finished with a giggle.
Damn. Shepard was coming in strong. It was clear she knew what she wanted, and I wasn't going to lie, I was tempted…
At the same time, Alenko's glare turned downright murderous after Shepard's invitation. If looks could kill, I'd probably be halfway to the afterlife right now. I'm pretty sure someone else liked Shepard and was currently very jealous.
Frieren, meanwhile, had a faint blush on her cheeks, and Fern was muttering something under her breath that sounded suspiciously like, "This place is filled with shameless perverts."
Ainz coughed loudly, trying to get us back on track, which I appreciated since I didn't have an answer for Shepard right now. Hell, I barely had my head around the situation with Naruko earlier. And here was Shepard, practically inviting me to her quarters on the Normandy.
"Rest assured, Haru," Ainz continued, "I'll make sure that all of Nazarick's denizens know your restaurant is to be respected. It will take time to adjust to the new presence, but I'll ensure it's done properly."
"Thanks, Ainz," I said, nodding. "And of course, your people are welcome to stop by."
Ainz gave a curt nod but added, "Keep in mind, not all my subordinates are… friendly toward humans. Some adjustments will be needed."
At that, Alenko's hand went straight to his sidearm, the distrust on his face obvious. He was already on edge about me and the others, and hearing Ainz talk about "unfriendly" subordinates didn't help his nerves. His hand twitched as he looked ready to pull his weapon.
Before things could escalate, Shepard put a firm hand on his arm. "Lieutenant, stand down. I need you to go back to the Normandy and wait for me there. This is my call."
Alenko stared at her, clearly unhappy. But after a tense moment, he finally nodded, shot me one last murderous look, and left without another word. As the door swung shut behind him, I let out a sigh. "Thanks for handling that, Shepard."
Shepard just shrugged, giving me a lopsided smile. "The lieutenant's a good soldier, but he's not exactly open to, well, unique experiences."
Speaking of unique experiences, it looked like we were about to have another one. The doors to my restaurant were thrown open with enough force to rattle the windows. A woman stormed in, looking like hell itself had chased her. She was covered in dirt and dried blood, some of which wasn't hers based on the scent my enhanced nose picked up. The blood smelled off, though, not fresh, almost stale.
"What the fuck!?" she shouted, eyes wide as she scanned the room and took in the mismatched group of people. Her hand flew to the pistol on her hip, but before she could draw it, Shepard had a gun to her head.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Shepard said, her voice calm but deadly serious.
The woman froze, eyes darting between Shepard and the rest of us. She raised her hands in the air, fingers twitching. "Sorry," she said, sounding both wary and defiant. Her gaze swept the room again, assessing every potential threat. "But seriously, what the hell is this place?"
I stepped forward, offering a friendly smile to try and cut through the tension. Up close, I could see she'd be strikingly beautiful if it weren't for the weeks—maybe months—of grime caked on her skin and clothes. "This is The Fox Hole, my restaurant," I said. "Looks like you could use a real meal and, I'm guessing, have one hell of a story to tell."
"A meal?" She looked at me like I was insane to suggest such a thing. "There's no time for that. The DEAD are almost here. My motorcycle broke down, and they've caught up with me. Thousands of them. Umbrella Corp sent an entire army!"
XXX
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