'Either this is going to be a great idea that goes completely smoothly, or it will go horribly wrong, and my veins will inflate and pop like those long balloons.' I think to myself.
"But if I want to survive in this world, I need to start taking risks in this life, unlike my previous one," I remind myself while trying to muster up courage.
I sit down in a lotus position, something I read about in a cultivation novel. Right now, anything that can give me confidence is good. As I settle into the position, I close my eyes and begin to visualize my entire body, inside and out.
In this world, there are no magic cores where magic is stored, nor are there magic circles. Rather, the entire body of a person acts as a mana core. Each part of the human body can store mana, and once you learn how to gather it well enough, your body can naturally collect mana from nature. However, there is a technique for high-ranking mana users, mainly sorcerers who have reached a higher level of power, to turn their whole body into something called a mana vessel. When one transforms their body into a vessel, they can massively increase the amount of mana they can gather. Beyond this, I don't know much about it.
'I should probably ask Gideon.'
"Now, let's not get distracted and begin the task at hand." I say to myself.
I start to use body strengthening and pour mana into my muscles. Then, I attempt to transfer the mana from my muscles into my veins. No matter how hard I try, it isn't working. I decide to take an even greater risk, targeting my heart directly. This is dangerous, but since all the veins are connected to the heart, I should have done this from the beginning. The risk is still the same, death. I begin to visualize my heart, which is beating loudly as I push mana into it.
"Okay, now I just need to keep my rhythm and pour mana into my heart. Even a single mistake could result in my heart exploding. Just doing this much is making my heart ache like crazy," I think to myself, gritting my teeth, completely covered in sweat.
I feel like I'm sticking tiny needles into my heart. The sensation is painful and uncomfortable, but I don't stop. As I gradually pour more and more mana into my heart, it begins to beat even louder. I can feel it, the heart is guiding the mana throughout my body. This must be the true sensation of what they call channeling, and a feeling of calmness starts to fill my mind.
'Even while I'm still in pain, this feeling of calmness, something I've only experienced a few times before in my life is making this a little more bearable. Now I just need to make sure to keep the same rhythm and'
My thoughts abruptly stop, and the calm sensation I felt is completely overwhelmed by excruciating pain. My heart beats faster than ever, and my muscles and veins contract. My eyes turn bloodshot as I fall to the ground, trying to get back up. But the pain from my whole body shrinking and my muscles and veins feeling like they're turning into ground meat makes it impossible to even move a finger. I quickly lose my vision and pass out on the ground.
I wake up in shock, looking around the room I'm in.
"Huh… Where am I? The last thing I remember is being in a world of pain, and then everything went dark. But I feel a lot better now," I say, bewildered.
The room has only one bed and a table filled with blueprints and papers. Looking at the hanging weapons on the wall, I guess that I'm in one of the rooms of the smithy. Suddenly, someone opens the door, and it's none other than Gideon, who walks in with an expression that suggests he's about to go on a rampage.
"YOU DUMBASS! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING DOING ALL THAT?! IF I HADN'T BEEN KEEPING AN EYE ON YOU, YOU WOULD HAVE DIED TODAY!" Gideon shouts angrily at me, leaving me scrambling to make up an excuse.
"Well, I was just doing what you told me to do, learn channeling," I say, attempting to wear a confident expression, but deep down, I know I went ahead and did something that could have ended my life, risking everything.
"You little bastard! You think I don't know what you were trying to do? Didn't I say I was keeping an eye on you from the very beginning?"
"Wait, from when? Didn't you go back to work after telling me to learn on my own?" I ask, confused.
"I was hiding and observing you from afar, but I would have never expected you to do something so stupid. DO YOU KNOW HOW DELICATE A HUMAN HEART IS??" Gideon shouts, but this time, he sounds more concerned than angry. I realize how worried he is for me and apologize.
"I'm sorry for doing something so dangerous, and I promise to never do anything like that without talking to you first," I say sincerely.
Gideon looks surprised at my demeanor, but relieved at the same time, as he sees me admitting my mistakes.
"Just make sure not to act on impulse, okay?" Gideon asks.
"I won't, you won't have to worry."
"But I have a question: why did you watch me from afar but not teach me directly today?" I ask curiously.
"Because I wanted you to fail today," Gideon replies.
"WHAT? Why would you want me to fail?" I ask, taken aback by his answer.
"Because I knew what kind of kid you were after meeting you for the first time," Gideon says, walking up to his desk and sitting down in a chair.
"What do you mean by that?" I question him.
"With how far you've already come in both magic and swordsmanship, I knew you were someone who wanted to go even further and reach even higher heights," Gideon explains, opening a drawer in the desk and pulling out a diary.
"But isn't that what everyone wants? Learning more, reaching new heights, isn't that everyone's dream?" I counter.
"That may be true for some, but not for all. Yes, there are people who seek more power in life, but there are also those who want to live a life that's just enough for them, no more, no less." Gideon tells me as he flips through the pages of the diary in his hand.