Hermione looked intrigued. "You know, that's actually a really good idea. Shakespeare is distanced enough from modern Muggle civilization to be much more comprehensible to the magical born, but every Muggleborn has still heard of him. It's the perfect bridge! What play should we do?"
Harry's lips twitched in a diabolical smile. "We could do the Win –"
Hermione suddenly slammed him against the wall, her face alight with homicidal fury. "WE DON'T TALK ABOUT THE WINTER'S TALE, HARRY!" she shrieked, her eyes wide with hatred and scorn and contempt. I've never seen anyone more ready to kill in my life.
An awkward silence descended upon the hallway as Hermione gave a sudden beatific grin and a chill ran down my spine. "Right, sorry about that. We could do Romeo and Juliet?"
"Oh, I can't see that again," I said. "Too sad, next!"
"Macbeth?" Harry suggested tentatively, still looking freaked out by Hermione's little turn.
"With the Weird Sisters?" Hermione said skeptically. "That's absolutely the last thing we want to show. Stereotypical in the extreme."
"Did he ever do anything with magic?" I asked, hoping to contribute something despite my total lack of knowledge of the subject manner.
Hermione suddenly grinned. "Yes! Yes, that's it, Ron! You're brilliant! The Tempest! There's wizards and Muggles and nature spirits and it's got everything we need! Let's talk to Professor Sinistra about it!"
Professor Sinistra ended up being very intrigued by the prospect when we brought it to her attention, though she wasn't sure she'd be able to sell it to Dumbledore. The last time a play had been performed at Hogwarts had been back when Dumbledore was the Transfiguration professor and it had ended with the Great Hall being set on fire with an exploding Ashwinder. But she promised she'd try her best and that's really all we can hope for, right?
Matters came to a head when Malfoy challenged Harry and Hermione to a duel. I found this to be particularly offensive – why was I not worthy of being challenged? I happen to be a proud blood traitor! Did our family fight and bleed and die during the war just to be regarded to an afterthought?! Not on my watch, we didn't!
Malfoy thought he could pull a fast one on us by trying to get us to duel at midnight tomorrow in the trophy room, but I saw through that in a second. He just wouldn't show and we'd get in trouble for being out of our dorms after curfew. I knew that trick. Fred and George have pulled me on that before. Fool me once, shame on them; fool me…well, dozens of times, shame on me. (I WAS SIX, OKAY?!)
"I know you're scared of us, Malfoy, it's okay," I said condescendingly to him. "I know you don't want to show any weakness in front of your friends…"
Malfoy's face flushed and it took all I had to keep a straight face. He was depressingly easy to manipulate. How he didn't end up in Gryffindor, I'll never know. "I'll take the three of you down, anytime, any place, Weasley!" I grinned now openly. It was the three of us now. Good. He'd soon know what it meant to face a Weasley.
"If you're so brave, Malfoy, then how about you face us right in front of everyone in Slytherin house," Harry demanded. "Right here, in the common room. At midnight like you said."
Malfoy narrowed his eyes, clearly sensing a trap. "All right, but I have a condition. I can use my wand…but you can only use Muggle methods to defeat me."
I was just about to tell Harry and Hermione what a very stupid idea this was when Hermione, her eyes glittering with malice, said, "Done," and it took all my self-control not to cry. But you can't show weakness in front of a bully like Malfoy. Besides, Hermione seemed like she had some good ideas and I've certainly learned not to underestimate my bushy-haired friend.
"So what are we going to do?" I asked when Malfoy was out of sight.
"Oh, I have absolutely no clue," Hermione said and my jaw dropped.
I sighed. "Great. We're going to get pulverized. If only there was some Muggle invention we could use to take out Malfoy…"
"My uncle has a shotgun," Harry suggested. Thankfully, he was joking. At least, I'm going to presume he was joking. It would be better for my sanity. "Do your parents have any weapons, Hermione?"
Hermione threw back her head and laughed. "You've got to be kidding me. My parents are hardcore pacifists. They couldn't hurt a fly. I've seen it. That fly was buzzing around our house for weeks. They don't have…" She trailed off as an idea occurred to her. "How exactly do we win the duel, Ron? First blood?"
"For him, yes, because we're not using wands. But for us, disarming him would be enough."
"Then I think my parents have the perfect weapon."
Hermione ran off to the Owlery to write her parents a letter. While she was away, me and Harry tried to brainstorm ideas to take down Malfoy. I figured since he was a Muggleborn in all but name, he'd have some good ideas. Good, nonviolent ideas. I wouldn't mind giving that idiot a right hook, but shooting him was going way too far. But Harry couldn't come up with anything.
.....
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