Sensei pointed out that I tend to become very scared in battle. While he appreciates my determination, he noted that I often lose my cool and feel like I'm running away during serious confrontations. He acknowledged my intelligence and strategic mind, claiming he had never seen anyone my age with such potential. However, he pointed out that when the situation becomes unfavorable, I struggle to maintain my composure.
This reaction is natural, but it's something I need to work on. Currently, we're only participating in sparring matches, but once we are on a real mission, we'll face life-and-death situations. In those moments, if I lose my cool while at a disadvantage, it could lead to dire consequences.
Interestingly, this issue isn't unique to me; it's a challenge shared by all three of us in the squad. However, I often find myself at the bottom. No matter where I go, I seem to end up there. Yet, just as I did in the academy—rising from the last position to the top three—I intend to achieve the same here in this genin squad.
Motivated by these thoughts, I pushed myself to endure through all this rigorous training. I know that each challenge I face, every drop of sweat, and every ounce of effort is a step toward overcoming my fears and becoming a stronger shinobi.
For ten months, we followed a rigorous training routine, and all of us developed considerably, especially me. I dedicated myself to training more than my teammates, making my growth notably visible. My physical strength, speed, and endurance reached levels I never thought possible. Every push-up, sprint, and hour spent practicing jutsu contributed to my progress. I felt like I had transformed into a more capable version of myself, and that realization filled me with pride and accomplishment.
In addition to my physical enhancements, my chakra reserves had also grown significantly due to our relentless training regimen. The constant challenges pushed me beyond my limits, allowing me to tap into deeper wells of chakra that I had previously thought were out of reach. While Baskin and Nora took breaks regularly, I pushed myself to train without taking a single day off. I believed that every moment spent resting was a moment someone else was training, so I couldn't afford to let up. Because of this commitment, I hadn't yet updated my status.
However, the opportunity finally arose when our sensei informed us that he would be busy the following day and wouldn't be able to meet us. I immediately saw this as my chance to take a step back and assess my growth over the past months. I planned to take this moment to update my status, quantifying my progress and reflecting on how far I had come.
As for the reason our sensei was busy, I guessed it was related to the upcoming Chunin Exams; he must have been asked to report on the event and the students involved. The thought of the exams brought a mix of excitement and anxiety. I wasn't sure if he would allow us to participate, but we would find out when the time came. The anticipation was palpable, and I could feel my heart racing at the idea of finally putting my skills to the test.
Regardless, I was more excited about updating my status than anything else. This was my chance to showcase how much I had improved over the last ten months of hard work and dedication.
As I lay in bed that night, I couldn't help but reflect on my journey thus far. I thought about the struggles I faced, the moments of doubt, and the small victories that motivated me to keep pushing forward. The upcoming opportunity to update my status felt like a culmination of all those experiences, and I was ready to seize it with both hands.
So, tomorrow, I planned to go to the training ground early in the morning. Baskin and Nora had invited me to hang out, as it was a rare day off for me. They suggested doing something special to celebrate the break from our usual training routine, but I had to decline their offer. The thought of updating my status and seeing the tangible growth I had made over the past months was far more compelling than any leisurely activity.
I felt a pang of guilt for turning them down. Over the year, we had grown closer, and they understood how hard I worked. They had seen me push through fatigue, sweat, and the occasional setback, so I knew they respected my decision, even if they were disappointed. It was heartening to have friends who recognized my dedication, but I also couldn't shake the feeling that I was missing out on moments that could strengthen our bond.
As I reflected on our friendships, I realized that Nora and Baskin had become much closer to each other during our training. They often exchanged inside jokes and shared stories, which made me a bit envious. I understood that my relentless focus on training had created a distance between us.
Despite feeling isolated, I remained resolute in my decision. I knew that if I wanted to achieve my goals, I had to stay committed to my training. Tomorrow would be an important day, not just for updating my status but also for reflecting on the hard work that had brought me to this point. I promised myself that once I achieved my goals, I would make more time for my friends. I wanted to show them that even in my dedication to training, I valued our friendship and the special moments we could share together.