You know, I thought I've had everything my creator can possibly subject me to. I've been eaten alive, gutted, tortured, getting my soul ripped out of my body, and forced to kill more loved ones than enemies... I thought I've been through the worst of it.

That is until my latest reincarnation. Usually, my creator would give me the form of a white haired twelve years old girl with yellow eyes. But, for once in a hundred world, my creator gave me another form.

A dull gray sphere. That's it. A freaking inanimate object. He turned me into a freaking sphere.

This is a new low, even for him. At this point, I'm not even angry anymore, I actually pitied him. Just what the hell happened to him IRL that made him do something like this? Is he really that desperate? Is there some sort of a disaster happening on the flipside?

Heck if I know. But I've rambled enough.

Actually, no, I haven't rambled enough.

Can you guess where I end up? If you're thinking along the lines of a museum or a treasury or even geological park, then you are a saint compared to my creator. Because my creator thought it'd be funny to put me into a cramped stone box in the middle of graveyard.

I waited fifty years before someone finally find me. Five decades, I waited for FIVE BLOODY DECADES INSIDE AN ABANDONED TOMB! FIVE DECADES!!! There's only SO MUCH, I can handle.

Yes, I can sense my surroundings. But I was hoping I couldn't, because it was nothing sort of filthy. The only thing that I sense are cockroaches skittering, bags of bones roaming around because magic exist apparently, and the wretched scent of death that just unbearable.

Goddammit, I'm going insane!!! F*ck you, I hate you!!!

.

.

Sigh… Yess, there's more…

I'm not just a sphere, I'm also a magic item. One that is capable of absorbing magic. Heck, I get hungry if I don't get magic. So there's literally nothing else I can do but to absorb the surrounding magic. Can you guess what kind of magic the environment subjected me to?

No, you don't get a cookie for answering that right.

So there I was, for fifty years, marinating inside a pool of death and decay. Absorbing all sorts of sorrow, regrets, wrath, and other forms of negative energy into me. My dull gray shell slowly turned dark purple and my mind clouded by the restless souls.

If there's only one good thing about this whole thing, is the fact that every time I absorb negative energy, I also gain knowledge from the souls. It's probably the only thing keeping me from actually losing it.

Apparently this world is a standard medieval RPG. Complete with guilds and castles, monsters, pompous nobles, and good old mythical heroes of the ancient times. Near this graveyard is the City of E-Rantel, basic hub world of every RPG. Most of the souls here are actually adventurers or guards who were slain by all sorts of undeads roaming the land.

One day, someone found me. "After all these years…" judging by the longing voice of a somewhat frail old man, I can safely say that I'm about to be worshiped by some sort of a cult. "The Orb of Death…" a wave of magic surge into me.

Just like that, I can see his life stories. He was a young boy whose mother died from a stroke and that somehow turned him into a freaking necromancer hell bent on world domination. Don't ask me how he get into that conclusion, but the matter still stand. He's a fucking a weirdo.

That's not the worst part though, the actual worst is his "subordinate". For one, she is a mad lunatic. A giggly, raving, axe crazy, mad lunatic with a generous amount of sadism and psychopathic tendencies. If I can, I would've vomit the second she put her hands on me.

The worst part is, she didn't put magic into me. So I don't know her life story or whatever sinful fuck turned her into this.

So yeah, that's what happening so far. Now it's been like three to five years since he found me.

"... infusing energy into the Orb of Death right? If you're here to make trouble, I have ways to deal with that too." at the mention of my current 'name' I was snapped out of my musings. Khazi, the necromancer who found me, is busy feeding with dark energy while talking with the crazy lady.

The crazy lady, fragment of Quintia, giggled a little in response. "Nooo, Khazi chan, I just came here to bring you this."

I can't see, but I can feel the presence of a unique artifact. Not powerful per-se, just extremely advanced. It seems to have the power to inject some amount of magic power and into the wearer. Like an enhancement item or something.

Then, I remembered some of Khazi's memory concerning that artifact. It is the symbol of a Miko Princess, the Crown of Wisdom. It's one of the treasures of the Slaine Theorcary, a country which the crazy lady hailed from, and has the power to turn human beings into a magical item.

I zoned out of their conversation soon after that. I'm a bit tired of hearing this lunatic showing off her killing skills. Seriously…

It's been a few days since the Fragment of Quintia, now known as Clementine, found the circlet. She also found (kidnapped) someone with the talent to use any magical items. Keyword is use not control, the poor soul is Nfirea, an alchemist from E-Rantel.

The effect was immediate, the poor soul was enveloped by the power of the circlet and became nothing more but a mere tool for the necromancer to use. Khazi, delighted by the turn of events decided to use the him to create an undead army to destroy the city.

I almost felt guilty for technically being part of this undead invasion. But there's not much I can do are there? You can't blame a sword for slaying the innocent. So in another words, I'm as innocent as any murder weapon out there.

However, just when I thought that I'm getting a front row seat of a zombie apocalypse, I suddenly felt it. A powerful presence unlike anything else I've ever felt in all fifty years of my existence here. It's a presence that makes my 50 years of acquired negative energy felt like droplets in a vast lake.

And Khazi, my user, is challenging it. Forcing me to release all of my dark energy to create not one, but two skeletal dragons. It was pathetic, I can't even call it a curb-stomp battle. The presence in front of him was actively toying him, holding back its true potential.

Then, another powerful presence shot out from the distance and I never wanted to become a regular bowling ball in my whole life. The presence was five times more powerful than the one I'm currently 'fighting'. "Narberal Gamma! Display the Power of Nazarick!" a powerful voice bellowed.

Well then, I'm positively screwed. Maybe I should drop my act as a lifeless orb of death and actually talk to the old man. "Oi, old man," I said.

Khazi froze and looked at me in his hand. Then, a grin slowly spread across his face. "Is this perhaps the part where you unleash your true power? I've never known that you are sentient…"

"Yes… I am the Orb of Death!" I exclaimed telepathically as a brilliant idea flashed in my head. "Now… Listen well my master… To truly unleash my power to smite the enemy, you have to do as I say…" I told him.

Khazi was all ears and I can feel the woman fighting Khazi teleporting up in the air. "Now, hold me with both of your hand…" the old man put down his staff and held me with both hands. "Good, now, listen well and this is important, I need you to hold me as far away from your body, spin around and release me from your grip."

And that was my desperate attempt at yeeting myself away from this suicide mission. Of course, the old man was as frail as any magic caster so I didn't go too far. But since I'm a sphere, I can hopefully roll away from the excitement and…

'THUMP' The head of a skeletal dragon crashed inches away from my position. The shock wave it creates pushes me further away from the battlefield. Hopefully, the woman, Narberal Gamma, would toy around with Khazi some more before noticing my disappearance.

A thunderous roar of lightning exploded from behind me and I can no longer feel Khazi's life force. He's dead, obviously that woman killed her. Now let's just hope that I can sneak away and…

I hit a pebble and just like that, my momentum fades away. I sighed a little in dismay as a pair of soft yet powerful hands picked me up from where I am. There was no magic flowing into me so I don't have access to their memories or anything like that.

Then, the other powerful being that emits an aura a thousand times more powerful than this cemetery combined walked up towards us. They converse for a bit before going back to the chaphel, probably to save that boy.

When they get there, the more powerful of the two destroyed the circlet that controls the boy. Then the woman handed me to the apparent lord of death. The lord of death then used a magical spell to appraise me and just like that, I can see who he is.

An Isekai protagonist, just my luck.

"The Fragment of Paradox? And it's an intelligent magic item?" the skull headed protagonist mused while poking me a little.

If only I didn't know the truth, I would've probably sworn my complete loyalty and devotion to the supreme being in front of me. But now that I know what he truly was I can safely say that I can be much, much more useful to him.

"Greetings Ainz Ooal Gown, I am the Fragment of Paradox!" I exclaimed telepathically after realizing that my name is no longer the Orb of Death. "I am…" my voice faltered and I sighed telepathically. "More or less, a glorified battery…"

Ainz chuckled a little in amusement after hearing that. "Umu, it is truly an intelligent item," then, I feel a slight hostility coming from the skeleton. "But I haven't introduced myself yet, can you explain how you know that my name is Ainz Ooal Gown?"

I paused for a moment. If Ainz knew that I knew that he was a human, he'll probably crush me in panic. Then again, he might not because of my plot armor, but I'm not taking my chance of possibly angering the main character.

Hmm… What should I say…

"Well... When you use the All Appraisal spell on me I uhh…" I made a telepathic coughing sound. "I accidentally saw your memory and a certain bloke named Suzu…" the grip tightened and it felt like I'm about to crack anytime now. "BUT I'M HERE TO HELP!!!"

After a moment, the grip loosened. I can somehow feel Ainz gazing down at my being and some sort of a magic emitting from him, calming both him and myself. "So you will keep your secrets?" he asked/threatened telepathically.

"Chill big guy, this isn't my first rodeo," I told him. "I've been reincarnated to different worlds so I'm pretty much a pro on this stuff," I can feel that I got his interest. "Now, I have a record of all your knowledge and memories, I apologize for that but that also means that I do not need you to explain anything to me."

There was a slight pause before Ainz answered. "If you were to know everything I know, then you are too dangerous to exist."

"Yes, extremely dangerous, but also extremely useful. I mean, don't you want to know more about what I can do? And don't forget that I will be reincarnated with my memories intact if you were to destroy me. Who knows where I'll end up?"

I can feel the skeleton gazing at me unflinchingly. "Then, what do you propose?" he proclaimed loudly.

"Protect me like the Nazarick depends on it, tell the floor guardians the truth. The truth that I contained all of the wisdom of the Supreme Being, Ainz Ooal Gown," I explained. "Tell them about your blunder."

"And how will that benefit me?"

"It will give a sense of caution to all denizens of Nazarick, so they won't overestimate you too much or underestimate this world too much," I told him.

"Umu, I agree with that," he said.

"Of course, I will also help you, giving you advice on how to deal with your current position and some help with bullshiting your way out of difficult situations," I explained. "However, I do want something in return."

A slight pressure came from the skeleton. "Then, what is it that you desire?"

"A body… I'm not always an inanimate object you know? My usual appearance is more like…" I paused a little and would've cringed at the similarities. "I look physically like Shaltear and acts mentally like Aura," I explained.

"Ainz-sama?" Narberal's worried voice appeared behind me.

Ainz didn't say anything for a moment, perhaps contemplating whether or not he should tell the truth. "Narberal, this is the Fragment of Paradox… It is a magical item capable of analyzing ones memory from their magic…" Ainz explained.

It isn't hard for me to imagine Narberal giving all her attention to the lecture. I can almost see her taking notes and jotting down every word he say. Though, that's probably not what's happening right now.

"After I used my All Appraisal Item spell on it, this orb now contains all my wisdom and memories…" he spoke and Narberal gasped in surprise. "Can you imagine the damage it will cause if anyone discovers all the knowledge and wisdom of the Supreme Being?"

"Shall we destroy it at once my lord?" Narberal asked.

"If we destroy it, it will reincarnate itself in another location with its information intact, our only choice is to keep it secure."

After that, darkness, cold empty void as far as I can feel. It didn't take me long to figure out what just happened, Ainz just put me into his inventory. It sucks, but it still beats the graveyard, so I took this time to think about what I've learned.

Ainz Ooal Gown, Momonga, or Momon, just finished a quest to clear up the undead invasion. For Ainz, it's probably because he just wants to gather more information. But to someone like, say, Demiurge, I can safely say that he already have some plan.

Ironically, he's probably thinking if Ainz is already five steps ahead of him.

Let's see… I can probably offer Ainz to transfer Demiurge's knowledge into me. That way, he can stop playing mind games with the arch demon and actually knows what in the name heck he's doing. Then again, Ainz is an isekai protagonist, they're usually equipped with the base luck stat of 999.

Hmm… Who knows being a magical sphere opens up this much possibilities? Then again, it's probably because I got the memory of the guild leader of Ainz Ooal Gown. If only I can use magical spells by myself, I would've used message.

One way to find out. "[Message] yo, Ainz san!" I exclaimed telepathically towards my current wielder. I was tempted to call him Suzuki, but I'm not that stupid.

"Yes?"

"I'm hungry…"

"Elaborate."

"I summoned two skeletal dragons and now I'm extremely hungry. Can you do me a favor and give me some of your mp? And I know that your stats are broken beyond belief by the way,"

An iron clad hand grasped me from the void and back to the outside world. I think this is a city, there are a lot of presence around me, all of them are weak. Well, compared to this broken OP isekai protagonist I mean.

Then, I can feel Ainz giving me some mana. Five seconds in and I have more than enough to summon five skeletal dragons. I don't really know if there is a limit to my core, but if there were I have no doubt that Ainz here will get there.

"How much Mana can you contain?" Ainz asked.

"I dunno, but there's gotta be a limit right? Who knows, maybe I can be a pretty efficient battery," I told him. "By the way, what color am I now?"

"Pitch black," Ainz replied simply.

"Never really fond of black, but I guess beggars can't be choosy," I told him.

After a few minutes, the magic stopped. "That was a quarter of my MP, I'll give you more later once we're in a safe location," Ainz said.

"Hey, Ainz, I wanna try something, can you have Narberal Gamma wield me? If all goes well, she can somewhat use me to do some of your world breaking magic," I told him.

"Interesting… I'll keep that in mind."

---

When Suzuki Satoru found that item, he was quite interested. There wasn't many intelligent magical item in Yggdrasil. So he was pretty curious about this item's intelligence. Then again, he didn't expect much considering the Wise King of the Forest is literally a giant hamster.

Then, the orb spoke his name, his human name and he has never been more afraid. Ainz was this close to crushing it to dust when the orb told him that it wants to help. Also the fact that the orb can be reincarnated makes him wants nothing more than handing over the orb to the Pandora's Actor and let him guard it for all eternity.

Seriously, just imagining the catasthrope it could bring to Nazarick is frightening.