I'm really doubting that I have good orientation, why? WHY HAS IT BEEN MONTHS SINCE I GOT LOST!! In that time I ended up in more trouble here and there, meeting more drones both good and bad like Monsters? I mean, those things were like ugly slime and not at all friendly!
As the months passed, from time to time I joined places where there were wolker drones refugees from the dismantling ones, my reputation solidified among the new allies I had found, which by the way is not my intention to find allies, much less save them, but one thing led to another and I almost always ended up helping them, I guess that's why my conscience is clear. With each challenge I faced, with each danger I dodged, it became more evident that I had an almost superhuman ability to get out "alive" from situations that would have made many tremble, well actually it was not only the combination of luck and personal cunning, soon I began to hear murmurs about me.
"There goes 'the cockroach'," some said, laughing and pointing at me. I CURSE THE BASTARD WHO NAMED ME THAT! The nickname arose from my ability to survive all kinds of disasters, just like those pests that never seem to disappear, no matter how many times they try to exterminate them. As strange as it was, it didn't even bother me anymore to be called that. In a world where everything was falling apart, if I had to be a resilient insect, I preferred to be a cockroach than a lamb. The nickname became a symbol of my tenacity, and, in a way, it was a pride and a disgust.
As for my appearance, there was something I had begun to notice: I had quite a few bruises like almost healed wounds, I say almost because I have no way of knowing if I'm fucked up inside, and my hair had grown longer than I had planned. Despite the adverse conditions, the style I had maintained during my first days as a survivor began to change. I let it grow because I honestly didn't have time to worry about cutting it. But, since my life was chaotic and things seemed to be spiraling out of control, I decided it was best to keep it tied back. So, I started putting it up in a ponytail.
The need to tie my hair back was not only practical, but it also became a ritual of sorts. Every morning, as I prepared to face the day, I would take a moment to tie it back with a worn-out ribbon I had found on one of my explorations. By doing so, I felt like I was taking control of the situation, that I was preparing for anything the world could throw at me. As long as it wasn't something too dangerous or the full moon.
The missions became routine, but no less exciting. During one of our raids on an old laboratory, we found a series of documents detailing experiments with advanced technology and drones. This was just what we needed: information that could give us an edge over the extermination machines. However, in doing so, we also discovered that the machines were aware of our existence and moving to eliminate any threat. Damn Skynet! Cough.. pardon the habit.
On one such raid, we faced a horde of machines. I remember we were in the basement of the laboratory, where the hallways were narrow and dark. The tension was palpable; every step we took could be our last. When we finally found what we were looking for, a series of explosions rang out, and the extermination machines began to move in.
"We can't stay here," I shouted as I tightened my grip on the laser rifle as we grouped together to defend ourselves. With every shot, with every movement, I could feel myself acting like a true warrior. Not just for me, but for all the good wolker drones around me. The feeling of fighting was intoxicating.
As chaos broke out around us, I realized I had to use my wits to get out of this situation. Remembering how I had escaped from previous ambushes, I decided to put one of my strategies into practice. With a couple of smoke grenades, I created a curtain that allowed us to escape amidst the confusion. As we ran through the hallways, I felt like a cockroach running from imminent danger, but always finding a way out.
Stepping out into the open air, I took a deep breath, feeling the wind on my face. I had escaped, once again, and the feeling of victory filled me. As we looked at each other from among our comrades, I could see the mix of relief and admiration in their eyes. That night, we celebrated our victory and, spontaneously, I was named "The Cockroach of the Resistance." Aren't bad robots supposed to have infrared vision? Me, better not question it.
The days continued and my exploits multiplied. The missions became bolder and more dangerous, and with each success, I earned the respect of others. The idea that I could survive the worst encouraged me to keep going, and my nickname became a symbol of hope for those who felt defeated.
However, not everything was perfect. The truth was that, despite the camaraderie I had found, there were times when loneliness overwhelmed me. I remember one night in particular, as I looked up at the stars in the dark sky. I thought about my comrades or rather allies, those who had fallen in the fight and those who still fought by my side. I wondered if I would ever be able to return to base.
The adventures continued for months. From rescuing a group of survivors caught in an attack by a giant fucking robot centipede what the fuck!?, to infiltrating an enemy camp to get supplies that I don't understand why they need I mean... they're robots. Each of these experiences not only strengthened my survival skills, but also deepened my resolve to not give up.
Sometimes, life felt like a game where every day was a new level to beat. More often than not, the feeling of being alive outweighed any fear I might have. Being "La Cucaracha" meant that no matter how many times I was stomped on or knocked down, I would always find a way to get up and keep going.
Time kept on ticking, and even as the chaos of the world surrounded me, I began to think about what it meant to truly survive. It wasn't just a matter of being alive physically; it was about keeping hope alive, of continuing to fight for a better future. However, there was always a small corner of my mind that longed to return to base, where it had all started. The bed.
..
..
..
..
The night was dark and silent, an overwhelming contrast to the bustle of the resistance. I was lying on the ground, in a ruined city, a place that had once vibrated with life and was now only an echo of what it had been. The shadows of collapsed buildings loomed like ghosts around me, and the smell of rusted metal and burnt smoke permeated the air.
The pain was sharp; every breath felt like a dagger piercing my side. I'd been in plenty of sticky situations, but this one was different. It had been a quick ambush, a group of machines appearing out of nowhere that by the way I've said machines so many times that I feel like it's kind of racist or robocist already? Hahaha. Ahem I'd barely had time to react. Now, I was alone, surrounded by rubble and the evidence of my failure.
I looked up at the sky, or rather, space. The stars were barely a memory amidst the light pollution emanating from the destroyed city. I closed my eyes, letting the silence envelop me, though my heartbeat echoed in my ears like a drum in a battle.
Suddenly, a mocking gesture erupted from me. I raised my index finger and pointed it towards the sky, as if challenging the forces of the universe that had brought me to this situation. "Is this how you reward me?" I thought wryly. I had always believed that life had a twisted sense of humor, and this moment was the cruelest joke of all.
Despite the pain, a dry laugh escaped my lips. "Come on, I'm La Cucaracha," I muttered to myself. "You can't get rid of me that easily." The mockery wasn't just directed at the stars, but at all the circumstances that had brought me here. I had survived so much that I wasn't going to let a couple of wounds stop me. Hope was still alive, even if I was badly wounded.
With a monumental effort, I sat up a little, trying to look for a sign of life, of hope. The world could be a ruthless place, but there was something inside me that kept fighting. I scanned the scene, hoping to see some figure that could help me or a trace of my companions, but there was only the echo of my own voice and the silence of the night.
Suddenly, a distant sound broke the silence: a hum, like that of an engine. My heart skipped a beat, and my instincts kicked in. Was it a drone? An ally? But I didn't care anymore, it was better to remain stiff on the cold floor while my vision became more cloudy...
So I did what any normal person would do at a time like this. I hit with the last of my resistance, whatever it was that was coming to grab me, the last thing I heard and felt before I passed out was that I managed to hit it in the face as I heard a moan.
...
I woke up staring at a white, metallic ceiling. The muffled sounds of machinery in the background made me feel like I was submerged in water. The light was dim, but enough for my still heavy eyes to slowly focus. I blinked a couple of times, trying to get my bearings, when suddenly, I felt a weight against my chest.
"Goodness... I thought I'd lost you forever!" (My God... I thought I'd lost you forever!) Doll's voice, full of relief and anguish, washed over me as she held me tight. I could feel her quickened breathing against my neck, and though my body still ached all over, a comforting warmth began to replace the coldness I'd felt earlier. I can't wait and see why my body aches..
I tried to speak, but my throat was dry. I barely managed to get out a grunt, which only made Doll hold me even tighter, as if she was afraid that if she loosened her grip, she would disappear.
"You were gone... for a long time... I didn't know if... you'd come back." Her voice was shaking, something completely out of character for her. There was a vulnerability she'd never shown before, like she was afraid that if she let go of me, I'd vanish into thin air. It feels weird to see that coming from her.
"Don't go like that again… please… I won't stand for it again…" The words came out desperately, her grip unwavering, as if it was the only thing she could do to make sure I was there, for real, and not just a mirage in her worried mind.
I'd never seen her so scared, so... human. And for the first time in a long time, I had neither the will nor the desire to leave again.
I tried to slowly sit up, but Doll wasn't giving me much room. Her hold was still firm, almost suffocating. My still weak body protested with every movement, but the hardest thing wasn't the pain, but the fact that Doll just didn't want to let go.
"…I need to…get up," I muttered under my breath, trying to push myself up with my hands, but her arms wouldn't budge.
"No…not now…You're too weak. Please…" Her voice was soft but filled with anguish. I felt her hands tightening their grip on my clothes, as if I would disappear at any moment.
I took a deep breath, trying to calm her down, but before I could insist again, the door slammed open. I lifted my head with effort, just in time to see J enter the room.
"Is he awake yet?" J asked, his tone neutral but with a hint of curiosity. I was halfway to approaching the stretcher when I saw that I wasn't alone.
Behind it, to my surprise, someone else appeared. My eyes widened a little more when I saw him: N.
"What the...?" I muttered, trying to process what I was seeing. N, standing next to J.
As soon as I saw him, I noticed the small dent on his cheek, ooh... I get a weird feeling that that has to do with me and it's a clear sign that the punch I gave wasn't a delirium and right at him. N was there, standing next to J, but his posture was different than I expected. He was nervous, like he didn't know what to do with his hands, his eyes avoiding meeting mine. His usual confidence that he's supposed to have seemed to have vanished, replaced by a palpable shyness.
I didn't move much, partly because of the weight of Doll still clinging to me, but also because the awkwardness of the situation was evident. N seemed very unsure, as if he expected some negative reaction from me after the blow.
"Everything okay...?" N asked, his voice wavering, quickly glancing at J and then at me. I knew the blow had left a mark, but I didn't expect to see him so affected by it, I just hope the kid hasn't turned out traumatized.
J watched the scene in silence, arms crossed, as if he was waiting for me to say something.
I took advantage of the moment, pausing as Doll continued to cling to me as if I were going to fade away again. I motioned for J to come closer, trying to keep my tone neutral.
"Come here," I whispered with a little more effort than I'd like to admit. J, still holding her impassive expression, took a step closer.
When she was close enough, I tilted my head toward her and quietly asked, "Why the fuck is he here?" I shot a quick glance at N, who still didn't quite know what to do with himself.
J sighed, as if he knew the conversation wouldn't be quick. "While you were missing, Doll and I were looking for traces of anything that would lead back to you. And well, it was quite a while… We didn't know if you were still alive."
"I figured that," I replied in a dry murmur. "But what did you do? Tell me."
J glanced sideways at Doll, who was still holding me tightly. Then, he looked back at me and continued. "After a while, Doll started reading endless books on technology and technical manuals of all kinds after weeks and weeks of studying non-stop suddenly poof I don't know how she did it, but one day she just started handling systems and technology in a way she'd never done before. She had almost no limits, like something inside her had unlocked."
The information left me silent for a moment, trying to process it and hoping it's not what I think it is. "And then...?"
"And then we found him," J said, nodding at N. "We were just wandering aimlessly when we stumbled upon him. Who was near some sort of damaged landing craft that had shut down. I don't know how he got there, but he suddenly woke up and started calling me 'boss'. I don't know why he does that, or who put that in his head."
I took another look at N, who was scratching the back of his head, obviously uncomfortable. Boss? The situation was starting to seem even more absurd and stupid to me.
"And you have no idea why... he did that or why he was there, do you?" I whispered to J, somewhat incredulous.
J shook his head. "I don't know, but I haven't had time to argue with him. We were busy looking for any trace of you. He just decided that he works for me now. I don't quite understand what his deal is."
I sighed. "Perfect... just what we needed." Everyone finds a way to turn the tables on me more and more.
As J continued to talk, he suddenly noticed my hand, the one I had been trying to hide under the sheets. I was missing a finger. A reminder of how sharp the claws of those damn junk can be.
J stared at my hand,and before I could say anything, he started laughing.
"Oh, please!" she exclaimed between peals of laughter, "You're missing a finger now? What a mess!"
I frowned, feeling a mix of annoyance and confusion at her reaction. But before I could say anything to her, J looked down at her hands. And then, the joke seemed to land on her. She stopped laughing as she noticed that her own hands, like those of all drones like her, had only four fingers.
"...Oh, wait…" she muttered, as if she had just remembered an obvious detail. Her laughter faded and she let out a light sigh. "I guess there's no point in me laughing at that…"
Meanwhile, Doll, who had been silent, was looking at my hand with obvious concern. Her eyes filled with anguish as she saw the missing finger and the wounds covering my body. I felt her grip become even softer, almost trembling.
"How did this happen? But they didn't tell me you lost a finger?" (How did this happen? Why didn't you tell me you lost a finger?) she muttered under her breath, not letting go of me, as if she was afraid I might disintegrate in front of her. How exhausting!
"Eh, things happen," I replied, brushing it off. Admittedly, it had been the least of my problems at the moment, but to Doll, it seemed like just one more detail of how close I had come to fading away.
Her concern, however, was palpable. I could see the fear on her face, the fear that I was gone forever and that something as simple as a finger was just the beginning of what could happen to me. I hope she doesn't have too much emotional attachment to me because that would be a bother.
I managed to gently push Doll away, although it wasn't easy. Her gaze was still fixed on me, as if she was afraid I would disappear again. With a last exhale of relief, I headed towards the door, with each step heavier than I expected, and the wounds reminding me that I was not yet fully recovered, I headed towards where the bathroom was.
On the way to the shower, a familiar voice echoed through the base's speakers. It was Nemo, the AI that controlled the systems or rather my AI. His neutral, but friendly tone made me stop for a second.
"It's good to see you again, you know?" said Nemo. "Not that I have eyes, but by my calculations, it's been too long without you at the base. You were starting to become a topic of conversation between the systems..."
"Did you miss me or something?" I replied sarcastically, not quite stopping.
"To be honest, I wouldn't say 'missed' is the correct term, but your absence created a void in the base's statistics. And of course, Doll and J did their best to 'entertain' me."
I chuckled. It was typical of Nemo to have a cool, logical outlook on everything, albeit with a hint of humor. "Well,I'm back... sort of."
"I can tell. Head to the shower. You're in worse shape than I thought."
I sighed and nodded, though Nemo couldn't see it. "Yeah, I know."
As the warm water fell over me, I felt the built-up exhaustion begin to dissolve. It was a comforting feeling, a luxury amidst all the chaos. I closed my eyes for a moment, allowing the sound of the water to drown out the noise of the outside world. But, as always, Nemo was there to remind me that I wasn't alone.
"You know," the AI began, his tone somewhat lighter than usual, "while I can't experience human emotions, what happened while you were gone was… interesting."
"Interesting?" I muttered, tilting my head back to let the water hit my face.
"Let's just say Doll didn't take it well. She spent most of her time in her workshop, trying to keep her mind occupied, but… truth be told, she was pretty shaken. Whenever someone mentioned your name, she'd fall silent, as if the mere sound was a reminder of your absence."
I could imagine it. Doll, so strong on the outside, but with her own ways of showing her emotions.
"Not only that," Nemo continued, "there were a couple of… worrying attempts. It seems her frustration led her to experiment with some pretty dangerous inventions. Some of them were clearly driven by her desire to find you, no matter the cost. Luckily, J was around to prevent anything disastrous from happening."
Shit.. I opened my eyes, water dripping down my eyelids as I took in what Nemo was telling me. "What kind of inventions?"
"Well, one of them involved using modified drones to scout areas for signs of life, but the equipment wasn't ready. There were explosions, electrical failures… you get the picture. It was J who kept Doll from diving headfirst into suicide missions. There were days where I'd literally wait for her at the door to keep her from going out alone."
"YJ?" I asked, my voice soft.
"J, in her own way, was affected too. There were days where she'd just stand at the entrance, waiting to see if you'd suddenly show up. She'd even stand there for hours, like she was an eternal guard."
"Really?" I felt a pang in my chest imagining her like that, as it reminded me of how before I was here in that world I had a dog who would always wait for me at home in the same way.
"Yeah. It wasn't common to see her so… static. Usually, she was always doing something, but those days, she'd just wait for you."
I let out a sigh, letting the warm water continue to clean the dust, the wounds, and also a bit of guilt I now felt for having been away for so long.
"Well," I said with a hint of humor, trying not to let the conversation get too dense, "I guess I kept them busy."
"That's one way of putting it," Nemo replied. "But more than busy, I think you were more present in your absence than you might realize."
My laughter echoed through the shower as I told Nemo about the stupid things I'd done out there. "And then, imagine, I almost fell off a damn cliff just because I thought it would be a good idea to speed up the bike without checking out the terrain," I said between laughs.
Nemo seemed entertained, or at least his version of entertained. "Sounds like your time outside was... productive," he commented in his usual sarcastic tone.
I turned off the shower and wrapped myself in a towel, letting the cool air wake me up a little more. It was then that I noticed N had walked in with a tray of food. I wouldn't be surprised if someone had told him to bring me something to eat, but I didn't really care that he was watching me either. After all, I was just a robot, and I was really hungry.
"Thanks, kid," I said half-heartedly as I sat down on the small stool. I took a bite of what I had brought while continuing to tell Nemo everything I had done during my time away.
"And then, I ate some weird mushrooms that I spent hours hallucinating over while saying irrelevant things while thinking it would be an excellent idea to look for a damn outlet… in the middle of nowhere. Can you imagine?" I said with my mouth half full, shaking my head and laughing again.
"Wow," Nemo replied in his typical neutral tone, "it seems logic wasn't exactly your traveling companion."
"Not at all," I replied between laughs. "But who cares? I survived, right?"
As I continued to eat, I deliberately ignored the presence of N, who was there, nervous as always, but I had no intention of paying him too much attention. I just continued talking to Nemo, as if everything else was irrelevant.
With the food in my mouth, I leaned back a little on the bench and stared at the ceiling. "Hey, Nemo, anything new at the base? I mean, anything other than the usual mess."
Before Nemo could even get a sound out, N, who hadn't been able to stand being quiet for so long, let loose a torrent of words with the kind of enthusiasm only those who don't know when to be still have.
"Oh, yeah, yeah! A lot of new stuff!" N said quickly, almost tripping over his own words. "Doll's been coming up with some amazing stuff, stuff you wouldn't believe. We were working on a new kind of weapon that... well, it actually blew up in our face a couple of times, but hey,We're perfecting it!" He waved his hands nervously, clearly excited and at the same time eager to impress me.
I stared at him, half curious and half amused, as he continued. "And J... well... let's just say that sometimes she... doesn't help that much. But don't tell her I said so! Please," he added in a hurried whisper, leaning slightly towards me as if J could hear him from anywhere in the base. His gaze was filled with an almost childlike fear, as if speaking ill of J was a death sentence.
I shrugged as I chewed. "Relax, I won't say anything," I replied, though I was rather amused to see him so nervous. He seemed an odd mix of nosy and desperate to be helpful, which made it hard to take him seriously.
N kept smiling, but clearly couldn't keep still. As he continued to talk nonstop about Doll's "amazing inventions" and "little mishaps," I realized that, while irritating, his enthusiasm gave him a certain endearing air. Though I still wasn't entirely convinced.