In a warm friday night while everyone was asleep , lights off.

there was only one light which was where i and my dear mother laid in front of my window , in my room, laughing .

" no but he is an asshole , mom " she took my hand and slapped it " ow!? it's true. ".

" dont talk like that about your father , he still had a place in you being born process " , i look at her in disgust .

she laughs. 

And I look at her..I

love it when moms laugh it makes me happy..

it feels like im giving her something that i actually am sure is useful.

Well unlike me..

My father has always been grumpy and angry , he never really talked to me that much too

Well maybe because he had work.. or maybe because he just didn't like me, I'm just more trouble to mom..

Dad never treated her well , there's no reason for her to be here yet she stayed ... For me.

All these thoughts roamed in my head until my mom snapped me out of it calling my name , " Taehwyan. " I look at her

" What are you thinking about it dea- " suddenly wind hit us , ah so cold

Wrabbing her arms around me , soft long black hair lingering in the air , eyes that's filled with love looking towards me , mother..

"Mother..? " I've been looking for mother everywhere in the house but I couldn't find her , Where'd she go.

Oh ..

I saw a room that was half open , it was dark and so I went in to check if my mother was there.

I open the door slowly , it's so loud with it's creaking.

"Mo-.." i look and see my own mother on the floor Nd.. red..

My eyes widen and I ... Am I screaming... What's happening.. "mom..mom... Why ..are U.... on the the floor ... What's all ..this blood.." blood..? Why is everything turning black..

I can't-.. breath..

Huh.. what happened.. I can hear someone crying.. why can't I open my eyes..auntie is that you? Where is mom..

I Open my eyes and shift myself up

Huh.. what happened

I hear crying from outside I quickly run downstairs.

when the maid saw me she ran after me .

" TAEHWAYAN , GET BACK THERE "

she ran after me but I was able to go to the front door but she held me just as i managed to open the door " Where do you think you're going little one " the door opens as I was struggling to make the maid let go of me and I see auntie and my dad standing and..

My mom what.. why are those men taking her mom!? Why are they covering her face..

...

I stopped struggling.

" Uh she is just a little sick so.. she- "

..

Why is she lying.. does she think I'm stupid..

I stood there, just stood there.

My father was standing Infront of my mother and he didn't do anything he didn't even look at her he didn't ..

Before I knew it , we were standing Infront of my own Mother's grave ,my dad ,auntie and other people I've never seen before ,probably from dad's side of the family.

My father looks at me.

I've never dared to look him in the eye , not ever.

"Are you sad, Taehwyan?" He asks..

Looking at the green ground..

" Sad..? I'm not sure.. "

All what Im feeling right now is the urge to kill those witches talking behind me .

' how old is he again? 10!? Poor thing...'

' his mother was a sl*t anyway what would he expect '

' hah! I told him she was no good '

' looks like when she has asked to leave she meant LEAVE FOR GOOD '

...

Witch.

My mother never did anyone wrong especially not those women , they treated her like garbage whenever they meet her, they were the main reason why mother wanted to live far from the main house where grandfather is from the first place...

...

The night was over and we were back in the house again , my father went straight to his office and I went to my room.

I slowly stepped inside, opening the door ,

Heading to the window which me and mother sat in before.

I hop on the window seat and..

I'm such a monster.

I couldnt cry on my own Mother's death, What is the difference between me and him then..

I-..

I burst into tears, feeling the sharp pain which I've kept put for hours now.

It hurts.. It hurts.. But don't stop, I'm not a monster .

I want you mom.. Why'd you leave ..

Did you get tired of me too..?

I'm sorry.. I really am.. I'm sorry..

My eyesight becomes blurry and my eyes starts to sting .

hugging my legs all night .