Report."
"Raikage-sama! Your-"
"Report."
Upon hearing that tone, Mabui immediately did as she was told.
"We had confirmation that both the Yondaime and Sandaime Hokage were killed in the invasion. The Yondaime was seen using the Eight Gates technique and some of our shinobis reported that they saw the Sandaime using a suicide jutsu to seal the reanimated First and Second Hokages. It is also confirmed that Orochimaru had been killed by the Yondaime Hokage."
"And on our end?"
"We… lost at least 30% of our forces in the invasion, Raikage-sama." Mabui gulped as she broke the news to her leader from where she is kneeling. "Our other S Rank shinobis had made it back and completed their objectives. Bee is on his way back to Kumo to resume his duties as our village's guardian. But, Yugito, she…"
Ay's attention snapped back to Mabui while allowing C to heal the stump where Konoha's Yellow Flash had cut off his left arm. The sheer expertise Minato now has in using the Wind Release is something new, something that Ay had never seen Minato use during their fights in the Third War.
He really has no idea how Minato reached this level of strength.
"What happened to Yugito?"
"She never made it back."
Ay clenched his remaining fist as he visibly held in the rage and disbelief, trying very hard to control himself from venting his anger because if he did so, C, who is right beside him and healing his wounds right now, would find himself as part of the collateral damage.
"…How?"
"Eyewitnesses reports state that Yuki Haki, Senju Yamato, Senju Tsunade were seen subjugating Yugito. There were one or two that saw what happened after that, that Yuki Haku did something that we speculated broke Yugito's seal, letting the Nibi out."
"He WHAT?!"
Ay stared in disbelief at Mabui, who is now visibly trembling at the pressure he is giving out. He quickly reined it in. These are his people, his loyal shinobis and comrades. His right and left hands. They shouldn't be the ones to be on the receiving end of his anger. That is reserved for their enemies.
"Details."
"There weren't many among the returned that saw what exactly happened, but from their reports, we believed that Yuki Haku, together with Senju Yamato, Senju Tsunade, and a clone of Haruno Kizashi managed to somehow seal the Nibi into a shinobi of their own. That shinobi is Hyuga Hanabi, one of our objectives."
Ay's gaze travelled to Darui, who is kneeling beside Mabui.
"It's my fault, boss." Darui took over as he looked up at Ay from where he is kneeling. "My Laser Circus was supposed to strike Hanabi's heart, but Haku managed to deflect my jutsu with his ice and it struck the lower part of her torso instead. Still, I am certain that her vitals were hit and that the damage she received from my Laser Circus was enough to kill her shortly. I was about to kill the boy, as well as deal the finishing blow to Hanabi to confirm her death, but Hatake Kakashi interfered. I have no idea what happened next. This is my fault, boss. If only I did my job properly before Kakashi arrived… I'm sorry, boss."
"No, you completed your mission properly." Ay took in a deep breath to calm himself down. "It's me who failed on my end. I failed to end that ice brat before Minato interfered. None of us could have imagined a genin knowing how to break a jinchuriki's seal. Yugito's death is on me as well."
Ay took a few seconds of silence to think.
"I guess it's safe to say that Hyuga Hanabi is now the new jinchuriki of the Nibi." He spoke slowly, mind analysing the current political state and power balance of the world. "Konoha is still too strong, and that will upset the balance of the Big Five. Peace in the Elemental Nations can only be maintained if the balance in power is maintained. Any one force growing overly strong will just destroy that delicate balance, and by extension destroying the peace of our village. As much as I dislike Konoha, Hashirama gave out the Tailed Beasts to every nation for a reason. We killed two Kage level shinobis of Konoha, which will no doubt reduce their strength, but we lost 30% of our forces and one of our Tailed Beasts."
Everyone around Ay did not dare to make a sound.
"Mabui."
"Yes, Raikage-sama."
"Contact the Tsuchikage and arrange a meeting with him. We incurred losses, but so did Konoha and Suna. Oto is a non-threat now that Orochimaru is already dead, and Kiri is as good as a dead fish. We need to strike while the iron is hot."
"Understood."
"No, one more thing." Ay stopped Mabui from leaving with a raise of his remaining hand.
"Update the bingo books while you are at it. Yuki Haku is now an A, no, S Rank threat. He has to be an S Rank threat, what with him turning our soldiers into ice cubes and finishing Yugito off by breaking her seal among other things. He was taught by the Yellow Flash himself, that in itself is too dangerous to be ignored. Only elite jonin level shinobis or higher are allowed to engage him. Kill on sight. Hyuga Hanabi is an S Rank threat because of her jinchuriki status, capture her alive. If unable, kill her to disperse the Nibi. We cannot allow Konoha to have two Tailed Beasts in their possession. Same engagement rules apply for the Hyuga girl. Spread word to the other villages about Konoha's new jinchuriki, I'm sure someone will make a move once they know of it. I don't want Konoha to have any respite if we are to weaken Konoha."
Mabui doesn't know if doing this can bring about peace to Kumo as her Raikage believed, but he is their Raikage, and she believes in him.
For the sake of the peace of their village.
"It will be done, Raikage-sama."
It came as no surprise that I was imprisoned the moment the invasion was over. That doesn't matter to me. Not after everything that happened.
It worked. My crazy plan worked. Hanabi is still alive and her wounds healed. That is what matters.
With the help of Yamato and the Hokage's Shadow Clone, we managed to seal the Nibi into Hanabi, and we watched as the Nibi's powers brought Hanabi back from the clutches of death. Kizashi's ability to heal and regenerate organs proved to be invaluable as well, keeping Hanabi alive long enough for the Nibi to be sealed. Since the seal was mostly drawn by me, I was the one who did the final sealing. Tsunade had completed my unfinished seal work while I was extracting the Nibi, but I'm absolutely sure that only me, Minato, and Kushina are the only people with the knowledge of how Minato's improved seal work, the same seal I used on Hanabi. So I can only make an educated guess that Tsunade was able to help me complete my seal because she knows how the seal's design look like. Maybe my godfather had shared it with her at some point in time, but not sharing with her how to properly activate it. Tsunade is also part Uzumaki and her grandmother is Uzumaki Mito. I'm won't be surprised if she is an expert in seals as well. Her Yin Seal is definitely her own design, and that alone spoke volumes on her skill in the sealing arts.
I have no idea what went on at the other parts of the village, but everyone felt Kizashi's chakra towards the end of the invasion. The walls of the Four Red Yang Formation were unmistakable, reaching high up into the sky. The sheer density and weight of the explosion of his chakra is all we need to know that he had dealt with Orochimaru. The joint invasion by the three villages had failed. Konoha had managed to pull herself through this crisis.
Then comes the aftermath.
Tsunade was beyond furious with me. The moment the invasion ended, she immediately had Yamato bind me with his chakra suppressing wood. The next thing I know, I am thrown in a dark cold cell in the undergrounds of the Hokage Tower, chakra suppressing cuffs around my wrists and thick metal chains binding me firmly to the wall. I could have break out, I know I can, but I decided not to. I don't see a point in breaking out. Hanabi will definitely be safe with Tsunade checking up on her. There's nothing else I can do now but to wait for the consequences to come crashing down on me. I know there will be consequences to my actions. There is no running from it. I had made my choice and I have to face the consequences. I know that what I did had placed the village in a lot of danger, and even death would be too kind a punishment for such a crime in accordance to the village's laws. I knew that the moment I decided to save Hanabi using that reckless method.
But do I regret my actions?
No. Not one bit.
To live to protect those that cares for me was my purpose in life. I did that. I'm content with this outcome, even if my life would be the price for it.
But now, I'm not sure if that purpose is worth striving for anymore. I had nearly failed. I can protect her once, but can I protect her forever?
No. No one can. Not when she is a shinobi. A shinobi's duty is to kill other shinobis for the sake of their village. One day, she will get herself killed as well, no matter how much I tried to protect her. It's inevitable. Kumo was gunning for her simply because she is a Hyuga when she was only four. I cannot stay by her side forever, no one can promise anyone that.
In that case, why bother to care? If everyone I tried to protect are volunteering to throw themselves headfirst into mortal danger to fulfil their duties as shinobis, why should I bother to care about protecting them? They are voluntarily seeking death simply by becoming a shinobi.
Why did I even start to care? To be a shinobi is to fight, to kill. There is no sense of self, everything is for the village. If the village sends my loved ones to the battlefield to die, who should I protect them against? The enemy? Or the village?
Who should I fight against? Why am I protecting them? My loved ones being shinobis is contradictory to my dream, my purpose in life. How can I protect them if the shinobi system doesn't allow me to?
If there is no purpose to my life, what am I even living for?
This world is so inherently flawed. There's no peace to be found in this world no matter how hard I think about it. The 'peace' attained in canon after the fourth war is not true peace. I don't know about canon, but the First Shinobi World War in this world broke out right after Hashirama died. He was a deterrence. His idea of peace in the Elemental Nations was deterrence, which was why he handed Tailed Beasts to other nations like free cotton candy. His method obviously failed, seeing as this world had experienced three world wars after his death.
By that logic, the peace attained in canon would definitely crumble after Naruto and Sasuke died. This is the realistic outcome. Their very presence was the exact same as Hashirama's presence. A deterrence.
It won't last. Peace that came from deterrence won't last.
In that case, why am I still here in this world? To protect Hanabi?
There's nothing much to live for in this world without Hanabi. And now, I'm starting to think that even she is not enough to anchor me here in this world.
I'm tired.
I'm tired of living in this world where a split second is needed for you to be separated from your loved ones forever. I'm sick of living in a world where killing is the norm and is how the world operates. Anything you fear, or anything you need to solve, violence is always the best option in this world. This mindset is just wrong and toxic.
No matter the world, civilisations should not be built around the basis of killing and pillaging each other to thrive. Such a world is wrong. There are so many things so inherently wrong in this world that I don't know where to even start nit-picking it.
I don't care anymore. Hanabi will be safe. She is strong enough even without the Nibi. She can protect herself. Her Fire Release Chakra Mode will make her close to S Rank in another year or two. She is strong, she is smart. All she needs is the time to grow. With the Nibi, she can easily reach S Rank shortly. She doesn't need me around to protect her anymore. She can do it herself. Konoha will also protect her out of obligation. With the invasion that just happened, they won't leave their jinchurikis unprotected. She will be safe until she is strong enough to protect herself.
She no longer needs my protection. I don't need to be worried for her anymore.
Going by that logic, there's no purpose to me being here anymore.
And I'm tired. I just want this to end. I'm just so very tired that I don't want to care about anything anymore. I'm hurting all over, physically and mentally, to be able to bring myself to care anymore.
I have no idea how long I'm stuck in this cell. I'm not bothered by the cold thanks to the fact that I can use the Ice Release. In fact, I welcome the cold. It gives me comfort, it numbs my pain. However, it's dark and there's no way to tell the time in here. I'm famished and thirsty and nobody had come here other than Yamato when he first threw me into this cell. I haven't seen him since.
In any case, I just did not expect my very first visitor to be her.
"Sakura?"
The pink-haired classmate of mine looked just as baffled as I do when she stumbled in here. Her eyes are a puffy red, an obvious sign that she had cried. For what, I have no clue. I have no idea what the outcome of the invasion was even if I knew for sure that Konoha had won. I have no idea if there is anyone else that we both know that did not make it back alive.
"Hey." She said softly as she walked up to the front of my cell. "Why are you here?"
"How long has it been since the invasion ended?" I asked her another question instead, a question that I would really appreciate if I have the answer to it.
"Not long, about eight hours? It's night-time already. Why are you here?"
"Long story short? For being reckless, I guess. Why are you here?"
"I just want a quiet place to be by myself for a while. Usually, there's nobody here at all. These cells were never used as far as I could remember so they were never guarded. I came here all the time when I was young if I want to hide from Dad." She admitted, and with unbelievable monstrous strength, physically pulled apart the metal bars of my cell to allow herself in.
I knew that she is physically strong, but I didn't know she's that strong.
"Do you need me to break your chains?"
"It's ok. It's better for everyone if I remain here."
Sakura didn't say another word or question further as she sat down beside me where I am chained to the wall. We may have been classmates for a long time, but we are not close. I'm not close to anyone who is not part of Team 13, the Hyuga siblings, and Naruto. Sakura have her own set of friends as well and I'm not part of that group. Even then, I know Sakura is a loyal friend. She had bravely tried to rescue me from Orochimaru back at the Forest of Death when I was caught by him, even if it meant giving up her only chance of escape. It could have been foolish bravado, but considering what I know about her so far, I doubt it.
"Is now a good time to ask what happened?" I spoke softly, voice dry thanks to the lack of water in my parched throat. I really wish I could at least get myself a drink in here. "I was thrown here the moment the invasion ended. I have no idea what went on."
Sakura remained silent for a short while before speaking up.
"We won, but Dad died. He died protecting the village."
I wasn't expecting that.
I never did like Kizashi, even if I could understand why he did that to me. Still, I know he is a good man. A good man that is burdened with the responsibility of making decisions to benefit Konoha as a whole. That still didn't change my initial opinion of him, until he helped to save Hanabi.
Even Tsunade admitted that Hanabi would have died if it wasn't for him. For that, I am forever grateful to Kizashi. Now that he's gone, I no longer have a chance to thank him, but I can at least pass my thanks to Sakura.
Sakura deserves to know.
"Do you know how I came to be here? In Konoha?"
Sakura's surprise was clear, but she simply shook her head.
"I was forced to stay here by your father, to be a shinobi against my will. My bloodline is too valuable for them to let me go the moment Konoha found me. Because of that, I truly hated your father and the village at one point in time. I hated being a shinobi. I still hate the idea of shinobi. It was one reason why I was so antisocial, because my freedom was robbed away from me by your father."
Sakura's fists clenched, like she cannot bring herself to believe what I am saying. Still, she didn't interrupt.
"Even if I came to understand why your father did that to me, I never had a nice impression of him. At best, my feelings for him can be described as 'neutral'. I never understood the Will of Fire your father preached, and I never consider myself as a true shinobi of Konoha. To me, Hanabi is the only person that matters to me. If I have to choose between dooming the world and saving Hanabi, I will always choose to save Hanabi."
"Why am I not surprised." Sakura muttered darkly, even if I know that she does not like to hear what I am saying. I'm surprised that she hadn't punched me into the wall yet.
"But today, your father saved Hanabi. If it wasn't for him, Hanabi would have definitely died. She was very close to dying, to the point that I thought that I had lost her. I have no idea what technique he used to save her, but it allowed him to regenerate Hanabi's missing and damaged organs, buying just enough time for us to make it. Just for the very fact that he had saved Hanabi, I am thankful."
"Wait, Hanabi?! Missing organs?! What happened?! How is she now?!"
"She's fine. Tsunade is with her, so I know she will definitely be fine." I quickly reassured Sakura. "I cannot thank him now since your father sacrificed himself to protect the village, so I can only let you know. The only thing I can do now is to let you know that I am thankful to him, on both Hanabi's and my behalf. The only thing I can do now is to let you know that while I still don't like your father much, I cannot deny that he's a great Hokage."
There was a brief silence before Sakura turned back to facing the door of the cell with me.
"That's just how Dad is." Sakura huffed as she wrapped her arms around her knees to bring it closer to her chest. "If you said to him what you just told me, knowing him, he will just laugh it off before purposely messing up your hair just to annoy you and then say that everything's okay. I know he had to make some unsavoury decisions as Hokage and I have no idea exactly what he did to you. I'm not sure if I want to even apologise to you on his behalf for what he did to you because I'm in no position to judge his decisions. But… thanks, I guess. It's nice to know that even someone like you who don't like him that much thinks that he is a great Hokage. He killed Orochimaru, you know that? That stupid Sannin that gave us such a hard time in the Forest of Death and nearly killed us all? The one that created a rift between us? Dad killed him so thoroughly that Mum said that Orochimaru cannot use his creepy jutsu to even reincarnate himself anymore, whatever that means."
Orochimaru is dead? Thoroughly dead? How?
"Mum said his funeral will be held tomorrow, together with everyone else who we know so far had died in the line of duty. So many had died on both sides that people estimate that bodies will probably still be found in the debris even after a week or two later. We are prioritising recovering the bodies of our comrades first, among other important things like ensuring the village's safety and saving the injured. Us genins would most likely be called upon to help clean up the mess starting from tomorrow while all the chunins and jonins will be tasked with the more important stuffs. There really isn't any time for us to rest and grieve, all we can do right now is to keep moving forward, because nobody knows what will happen next and another World War might suddenly break out if we are not careful."
"A war." I sighed as I looked up at the ceiling in thought. "It's always one war after the another."
"Don't we know it all?"
"I wonder how many will come out of it alive."
"Come out alive? Come to think of it, this holding cell is only for truly dangerous shinobis. That's why it was never used because there weren't such people to throw them here before." Sakura questioned as she raised her head once more to look at me, her eyes still moist. "Why are you really here? What happened?"
"And you ask me this after you offered to break the person trapped in said cell out with your bare hands." I replied with a deadpan. "And then proceed to have a surprisingly civil conversation with him."
"None of your sass now, Haku. I gave you that offer because I know you and I trust you. What really happened?"
"In order to save Hanabi, I released the Nibi in Konoha."
"WHAT?!"
"Nobody on our side died because of that, but Tsunade was furious. I told you I was being reckless."
"How is releasing the NIBI-"
"Hanabi was dying, even with your father there trying to delay it. Her injuries were just that bad. I made Hanabi into a jinchuriki to save her."
Sakura stilled. Being the daughter of the Yondaime, she would know what a jinchuriki is and what it means.
"If… If I'm ever executed for my actions, can you help to take care of Hanabi for me? I don't know who else will come down to see me or if I will see anybody else after this, so I can only ask this of you. I know Hanabi's siblings and my team will take care of her, but…"
"I will talk to Mum about this. She will know what to do." Sakura shook her head, in annoyance, exasperation, or whatever. I don't know her well enough to tell. "I don't know why Tsunade-san threw you here after what you did, even if I can also kind of see why she did that. You are not bad at heart, Haku. If you were, you wouldn't have willingly tried to save me and my team from Orochimaru back at the Forest of Death. I will see if I can help out. You said Hanabi is now the jinchuriki of the Nibi? Hanabi will go full cat-mode on us if you ever got executed. I don't think any sane person will want that. Don't worry, screw the village's laws. I don't think you will be executed. Punished? Probably. Executed? Don't think so."
"What I did was akin to treason, Sakura. It's not that simple. I jeopardised the safety of the entire village to save her, and the worst part is that I don't regret it. Even now, I still don't regret it. I will choose to do the same thing over and over again if it means saving her. Nothing short of a death sentence will get me out of this cell because I never had the village's wellbeing in mind. I just violated the most sacred law in our village, and the rightful punishment is death. There's no saving me from that."
"Your godfather is the Hokage now. Dad made him the Godaime Hokage before he passed away. That's your ticket out of here."
What? My godfather is now the Hokage? I just made his new job a lot more difficult. Shit.
How can I force him to bring himself to give me the death sentence? That will be too cruel to him.
Sakura stood back up as she dusted herself.
"I originally came here to just cry everything out again or maybe punch a wall or two, but… thanks. For this conversation, I mean. I think what I needed was to hear what somebody else thought about my father, to reassure me that what he did to save the village wasn't in vain. That he really is a great Hokage." Sakura spoke with a small smile as the dim light in the cell lighted her face up a little. "I know we two aren't that close, even if we mended our friendship after… that incident in the forest, but I still view you as my friend. And… For what it's worth, sorry. For whatever Dad and I had inflicted on you, knowingly or not, consciously or not. And for what it's worth, thanks. For what you told me today. It was what I needed to hear."
"I don't know if there's anything I should feel sorry for to you or your father." I admitted. "But like I told you before, and I will say this again, as many times as you need to hear, I'm thankful for what your father did for Hanabi. If she died, I will go insane. She's someone who I will burn the world down for."
"You use ice."
"It's a figure of speech."
"Sometimes I think Hanabi is really lucky, to have someone like you by her side."
"I think it's the other way around. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't have known what to live for. She kept me sane in this insane world with her own annoying way. After my parents died, I met her, and for a long while she was my only attachment to this world. She's important to me. That's why I will do anything for her."
But is that enough to protect her? Can I protect her and everyone I care for?
I don't know.
"You both should just get married to each other already. I'm sure I'm not the only one who gets a shot of diabetes straight to the heart whenever we see the two of you flirting with each other."
"You say that now. When you fall heads over heels for a certain tall, dark, emo, and start fangirling over him I will be the one doing the teasing."
"You mean Sasuke? Not really interested." Sakura said with a dismissive wave of her hand. "And did you just admit that you love Hanabi? Wow, Haku, if only I have something to record this conversation. Priceless, I tell you."
"Love?" I scoffed. "I don't think I ever understood what love is, and I'm not sure I will. I'm a broken man, Sakura. Hanabi is important to me, I know that. But love? I really don't know. I don't even know why she's so attached to me after so many years. I just know that she's important to me and I have to protect her. That's it. Full stop."
The edge of Sakura's mouth visibly twitched even in this dim light.
"No wonder Hanabi kept calling you an idiot whenever she talked about you."
I looked back at her with a frown.
"What?"
"That's the problem. What? Use that smart head of yours and go figure it out. I know you are not stupid."
Sakura turned around to take her leave, but stopped halfway right before she exited the cell.
"Anything else I can do for you before I find my Mum, go back home, break down, and cry ourselves to sleep?"
"It's fine. Thanks, Sakura."
The first part is a lie, but the last part was the truth.
Nothing's fine.
Not when the world is like this.
Twisted.
"Kakashi-sensei?"
"Maa, sorry for being late. But there was this old lady-"
"-that needed help in crossing the road?"
"And there was also this black cat that crossed my path-"
"- and so you took a detour to avoid ten years of bad luck?"
"And you wouldn't believe the traffic unless you see it for yourself. And after that I got lost on the-"
"Path of life. I get it." I cut Kakashi off before he can keep going on and on with his never-ending list of excuses. "Seriously, Kakashi-sensei, stop using Obito-sensei's real-life experiences to come up with excuses. You need to be a little more creative than this."
"You are not cute at all." Kakashi did a dramatic eyeroll as he unlocked the chains binding me with a key in hand, but still leaving the chakra supressing cuffs on me. How long have I been here?
"It's been only a day, if you want to know. Meaning to say, the invasion ended yesterday." As if reading my mind, Kakashi told me that bit of information as he led me out, hands in his pockets in that usual lazy slouch as he walked beside me. "Hanabi's still unconscious, but she's doing fine, so don't worry. Obito and Sai are fine too. Sai is busy helping to clean up the mess, the same goes for all of your cute little genin friends. Konoha needs every able-bodied shinobi we can afford right now. Obito is sent out on a mission to chase away the big bad Kumo nins, so I decided to come in his stead."
"That's all I needed to hear. Thanks, Kakashi-sensei."
"Sorry, Haku. If only I was faster in stopping Darui…"
"Don't be. If it wasn't for you, both Hanabi and I would be killed by him. Thank you."
There are a lot of people to thank if I think about it. There's also Tsunade and Yamato too. They were instrumental in helping me save Hanabi.
"Now you are a little cuter. Just a little. How did Obito managed to tolerate such uncute behaviour from you all the time?"
"I'm the one doing the tolerating in Team 13. Ask him when he gets back, quiz him on how many senbons he had to pluck out from his body ever since Team 13 became official."
"Now you are back to not cute at all. Here, turn left, walk up the stairs. We are going to the Hokage office."
I can feel my eyebrows rising a little. I'm not afraid of what is to happen since Hanabi is alright now, but I'm curious as to how the new Hokage, my godfather, and the council will deal with me.
My godfather is now the Hokage. By the village's laws, what I did will definitely warrant me the death sentence. As the Hokage, my godfather will have to personally sentence me to death.
Great. I just hurt him on his first day in office as Hokage. Great. I just made his life absolutely difficult no matter what I chose to do starting from now. Great.
In any case, I just want to see him one last time.
I saw Minato sitting there in the chair the moment I entered the office, with his new Hokage robes. The chair that Kizashi used to sit on. Standing around him are various notable shinobis. Fugaku, Dan, Tsunade, Shikaku, and even Hiashi is there too. All of them are in their battle gear, like they are prepared to go to war again if Kumo, Suna, and Oto somehow strikes back.
"Haku." My godfather greeted me with a smile and a nod despite how obvious it is that he is tired. It's not hard to tell that he has a lot on his mind and even more things for him to do.
"Mi-" I stopped short before I could call him like how I usually do. Right now, he is not the person who is my godfather.
Right now, he is the Godaime Hokage of Konohagakure who will act accordingly to what I had done. He is here as a Hokage to punish his misbehaving subordinate who had threatened the safety of the village that he is sworn to protect.
"Hokage-sama."
He didn't correct me.
"You could have taken off the cuffs anytime you want. I know you can do it. Why didn't you?"
"What's the point?" I countered. "For every action there will be a reaction. I knew something like this will happen when I decided to do what I did to save Hanabi. Might as well make things easier for everyone. Hanabi's safe and that is what mattered to me, I don't care about anything else. You know that. But I also know that you are now the Hokage, and there are things that you have to do, people you have to answer to, and responsibilities to fulfil. Whatever punishment that will be met out, I will accept. So, what's the verdict? Death? Life imprisonment?"
"I'm not here to play the blame game with you, Haku." Minato sighed, and for the first time I saw how tired and weary he is since I stepped into the office. "None of us here are. Tsunade-san had a lot to say about you and she had already shared it with us countless times, but we decided that we need to first hear your side of the story. This is the Nibi we are talking about after all."
"She was dying." I said bluntly. "I was just minding my own business trying to help stop Yugito Nii with Tsunade and Yamato. Then all of a sudden Darui from Kumo fired an attack at her that she could not evade or defend against. And there was nothing I could do to bring her back. She was just there, bleeding out on the ground, dying right in front of me."
I closed my eyes and held in my breath as I tried to not let my mind wander back to that specific memory. I will go insane the longer I dwell on it.
It reminded me too much of how Mum had died. Bleeding out on the ground. Dying right in front of me.
And me being totally helpless to stop it.
I don't want to dwell on it.
I opened my eyes again.
"I had no idea what to do. Darui was still trying to kill us until Kakashi-sensei intervened. That still did not make things better for her. I still had no idea how I could save her. My powers are more suited in taking life than in saving it. Katsuyu said that even Tsunade herself might not be able to save her, the chances are that slim. Then I saw how Yugito healed herself in seconds when she was punctured with holes by Yamato's attack. I realised that the power of a Tailed Beast was what I need to save her. I need to seal the Nibi into Hanabi to save her. I have the tools and the skills. I know it's definitely possible and it's my best bet. The rest is history."
"Reckless, you mean." Tsunade gritted out. She obviously still has an intense dislike for me.
"Whatever floats your boat. Even then, thank you for helping to save Hanabi. You too, Yamato. Thank you."
I heard a faint choked sound of disbelief from somewhere up from the ceiling right above me. I knew I wasn't imagining his presence when I entered the room along with the other ANBU guards I had sensed. The water vapour in the air told me so. Water is my ally, they follow my will. Yamato is probably hiding up on the ceiling acting as my godfather's personal ANBU guards. Yamato was a part of ANBU in canon, I don't see why he won't be one in this world.
"You are a shinobi of Konohagakure first and foremost." Fugaku spoke out, which caught me by surprise there since this is an Uchiha we are talking about. "Everything you do, it should be the sake for the village. You were lucky that your stunt did not result in anything disastrous and Konoha gained another jinchuriki because of it, but that does not change the fact that what you did jeopardised the village's safety. There is also the fact that you did it on purpose without any regards of the consequences it can have on Konoha. Things could have been a lot worse should things go wrong."
The irony. An Uchiha lecturing me about acting for the sake of the village. Canon Itachi, are you seeing this? Are you weeping tears of joy of this world's version of your father? If I were you, I will be.
"I think everyone here who had no part in raising me is misunderstanding something." I spoke out and proved my godfather's claim when I casually unlocked the cuffs on my wrists without any assistance, totally bypassing the seals on it. Compared to the ones my godparents taught me since young, these are elementary. The temperature dropped drastically as I released bits of my power.
"I never once considered myself as a shinobi of Konohagakure. At least, not in the truest sense. I do have people here that I have grown to care about, and for them, I don't mind protecting this village if it means protecting them."
I continue to let the temperature drop. I have nothing else left to lose even if they kill me right here on grounds of treason. Hanabi is safe, and they won't kill her unless there is a very good reason to. They don't have any reason to. She is now their jinchuriki. She will be protected.
She will be safe.
"And among these people, Hanabi is the only one that I truly care about. This village, its people, and even the world. I will sacrifice everything and everyone else if it means keeping her alive. Remember, I was not from Konoha. I was forced to stay here against my will. So don't expect any form of loyalty to the village from me of all people."
"Ungrateful brat." Tsunade said with venom, fury in her eyes. "After all we did to protect and raise you here in this village? I told you back then, and I am telling you again. Grow up, kid. Shinobis die all the time on the battlefield. I have an idea on what's your life like back in Kiri and trust me, you are not the only one here who lost someone close to you. We all did. Like it or not, you are one of us now, and we treated you like our own. Have we been cruel to you? Or maybe you would like to continue living in the hellhole known as Kiri? Or maybe Suna? Iwa, perhaps? Kumo? You know better than anyone that Konoha is the better villages when it comes to looking after its people. We are not perfect, we know that, but what more can you ask for? So grow up."
What more can I ask for? Funnily enough, that is the very same question I have.
What more can the village ask from me before I lose everything? What do I even have left?
"You lost someone. Have you ever lost everyone close to you?" I growled out. The last person I want to hear reprimanding me is her, considering I know what she can be in another version of this twisted shinobi world. "Have you ever felt so lost in the pit of loneliness that you have no idea which way is up or down? If this is your reality or if this is hell? Constantly thinking that this is all a dream and a simple slit to your throat is all it takes to snap you out of this never-ending nightmare? That was only a fraction of what I felt until Hanabi came along and saved me. She is my only attachment to Konoha and to this world. So until you can truly understand what I felt, the last person I want to hear reprimanding me is you, Senju Tsunade. You don't have a right to speak to me about losing people that I care about."
"You think I don't understand what you felt? I lost my grandfather, my grandmother, my parents, my brother. Other than my grandparents, I lost the rest of them due to war. You think I don't understand what you went through?"
She doesn't.
"No, you don't. Because you weren't truly alone at any point in time, you had people pulling you out of it before you spiralled down. I fell into the deep end for one long month until I met Hanabi. Even then, you weren't like me where people force you to do anything you wouldn't want to do or be. Here, I was forced to be the one thing I never wanted to be, a shinobi. Maybe you are right, that I am a kid that still have lots of growing up to do. Maybe you are right, that you actually at some point, understand what I felt. But are you absolutely sure about that? That we both felt the same thing to the same extent? We will need to compare notes to double check. Are your husband and son the only family you have left? What if I kill both of them? Shall we try it out? Will you be able to understand my pain then?"
Without warning, I teleported in front of Kato Dan using my mirrors, a kunai made of ice already in my hand. As I expected, he blocked it smoothly with his own. He is an S Rank shinobi after all, I expected nothing less. Tsunade is on me in a second and I can see the shadows moving, so that means Shikaku is on me too.
I easily disarmed Kato Dan when he tried to grapple with me and I took his kunai for my own. Right before I could get caught by anyone else, I dispersed my body into shards of ice and reformed right where I used to stand. Kakashi's lightning coated hand hovered dangerously near my throat, his eyes now those of a cold-blooded killer. Fugaku's sharingan is spinning as one of his hand is already in a tiger seal, the other holding onto a kunai and taking a defensive stance.
I smirked.
Yamato came crashing down from the ceiling, convulsing uncontrollably on the floor, gasping for air as his hands went to his throat to try and breathe. The other ANBU guards I had sensed had been knocked out in the same way I neutralised Yamato. I made sure it was non-lethal. It's difficult, but I can do it if I concentrate hard enough.
Water is my ally. They follow my every command. Water is the essence of life. I can control life itself.
And so is air. With both water and air at my command, I can easily reap lives with a simple thought.
The result of mixing water and air is ice.
"Yamato!"
"He's not the only one you need to worry about."
Upon my words, Dan fell as well, exhibiting the same symptoms.
"The air! The boy did something to the air!"
Fugaku's not totally correct. In actuality, I controlled the water vapour in the air. Konoha has a humid climate, and with it a lot of water vapour in the atmosphere. What would happen if someone breathes in the water vapour I controlled? I can do anything to my victims once it got to that stage. It doesn't matter even if you are an S Rank shinobi, if they do not have a way to get rid of the water vapour they breathe in, then they are as good as dead. I don't have a name for this technique yet, but this is my deadliest assassination technique that I invented. I kept its existence to myself, because I don't like to use such a technique. I don't want to kill if I can help it even if I have no qualms on being a reaper. My assassination technique leaves no clues, no evidences, and is totally silent. The only drawback is that it can only be used in an area where air is relatively still and the area of effect is small. I haven't got around to work on expanding its range. Most of the time, only a small room like the Hokage's office fits the requirement for its use.
That still doesn't change the fact that the sharingan really is an absolute cheat. I'm starting to hate how easily Fugaku's sharingan dissected the way my technique worked. No wonder canon Danzo wanted all Uchihas dead to collect their eyes for himself.
For power, violence is permitted. It sickens me.
Everyone else didn't move, worried that I might kill Tsunade's family since they are now my hostages. Everyone here had also breathed in the same air Yamato and Dan did. Technically, everyone here is my hostage. Just what I need to prove my point.
"Do you understand where I am coming from now, Senju Tsunade? Can you start to understand my pain a little here? Why I did what I did to save Hanabi?" I carried on, not paying any attention to anyone else. I'm tired. I'm tired of this shinobi life. I had tried. I tried living and every single time I tried there will be something that fucks my life upside down once more. My life is like a tragedy drama series at this point. I'm sick of getting hurt.
Also, even if Minato is the Hokage, he will be hard-pressed to simply issue me a pardon and write everything off. He is newly appointed. His power as Hokage is not yet solidified. He had been in office for only a day. He cannot just pardon me and assume people will not question his decision, authority, and legitimacy as Hokage. I don't want that to happen to him, being the Hokage had always been his dream and I don't want to ruin it for him. There's no way I'm going to walk away from the Nibi incident scot free in the first place. I have nothing else to lose as long as Hanabi is safe.
And she is safe. She definitely will be safe as Konoha's new jinchuriki. There's nothing else keeping me here anymore. Not in Konoha, and not in this world.
I'm tired. I want to take a break. I'm sick of this life, sick of this world of shinobi. Sick of a world where your loved ones disappear the moment you take your eyes off them for even a second. I don't want to live in such a world. This shinobi system is flawed, very so, and no one seems to realise this.
How can there be peace where everyone lives in a system that promotes senseless violence? They don't even realise this because it had become so ingrained that it is the norm here.
Can you imagine that? Violence as the norm? The main currency in this world that the economy is running on is violence. And nobody thinks that this is wrong? They don't realise that the shinobi system absolutely has to go if they want peace?
There's no hope for this world. There's no salvation for it. This world cannot be saved.
"YOU!" Tsunade roared out as she tried to run diagnostics on Dan, who is closer to her.
Oh, I finally have her attention. And from the looks of it, she still hasn't figured out what I did. She feels the same feeling of hopelessness as I did.
Perfect.
"Do you understand my reasoning now? What will happen if I kill them, everyone that you care about, right now? Will you feel the same hopelessness as I did? Will you fall into the deep end just as I did? Will you go insane? Will you spite the world? Burn it down just for a chance to kill me and avenge them? Will you tell everyone else to fuck off because there is no one else to bring colour back into your life? Will you numb your sorrows the only way you know how because all you see now is an endless space of white with no end in sight?"
"Haku." Kakashi spoke in a low voice, his Raikiri still crackling near my neck as his warning to me. "Don't."
"Your Raikiri doesn't scare me."
Seals I etched into my body of ice sucked the lightning-based chakra in. My entire body is now made of ice, I can etch any kind of seals onto my body anywhere with nary a thought. With this, jutsus like the Raikiri that needs to come into close contact with me are useless.
My godfather wanted to make me jonin level in a month. I wanted to make him proud, so I made sure to surpass his expectations. I made sure to go beyond the highest bar that he could possibly set for me.
I wanted him to be proud of me and what I can do.
The next instant, Kakashi fell onto a single knee. He should have known better than to step on the accumulated snow around me that was created the moment I lowered the temperature. They suck chakra dry extremely quickly. He got careless.
"Haku."
My godfather's killing intent did grab my attention for a second, but only for a second. It got everyone's attention as well. But I had faced the Nibi, a Tailed Beast. This is nothing as compared to the monster cat. I had even faced death before. I had died. I don't fear killing intent.
I don't fear death, not anymore. There's nothing else scarier than facing someone who don't fear death to themselves.
There's nothing else that I fear. There's nothing I fear about things that threatens my well-being. My only weakness are the people who I care about. And I know the people in this room won't touch these people, so there's nothing I fear from them.
But I don't want to put my godfather in a spot. The one who had been so kind to me. I don't want to put Hiashi in a spot, the man who had tried to raise me as his son as best as his can even if he doesn't know how to go about doing so. But he tried, and I am grateful even if I never told him about how I felt about him.
So, I released my hold on Yamato and Dan.
"It's not like I want to kill them. I just want to prove a point." I said as I stop fluctuating my powers about. I'm surprised Minato and Hiashi didn't make a single move throughout this entire time. Maybe they really have so much faith in me that I won't go around starting a killing spree.
Trust is a two-way street. But having too much trust can hurt too. Everything hurts at this point.
I sighed.
"Konoha wanted me to stay here, I did that. Konoha wanted me to be a shinobi, I did that. People told me to try and trust others again, I did that. I tried. I tried, okay? I really tried to care, to live. And whenever I start trying in earnest to live again either my life gets turned upside down or people close to me just start dying left and right. It just didn't work out, okay? I'm tired. I really cannot be bothered to care how you want to punish me. Just get it over and done with and let me be."
Not wanting to escalate things further, I picked up the chakra suppressing cuffs and put it back on my wrists once more. This should be an obvious enough signal for them that I don't want to continue this conflict. I realised that my right hand is still holding onto the kunai I disarmed from Dan and I looked at it.
I'm really sick and tired of this world.
It would be so simple to get out of here.
One simple swipe, like how the academy taught us when we were like what? Six? Seven?
Quick, clean, efficient.
So simple.
"You asked what more can I ask from the village? What more do you guys want to expect from me? My bloodline? Just take a blood sample out of me and go clone my powers with some freaky science research. My skills as a shinobi? I'm far from being the deadliest one in Konoha. You don't need me. My freedom? I was already robbed of it when I came here together with my free will. What else do I have that you want to take away from me? The people I care about? Just what else is the village expecting from me? Just give me a list of what Konoha wants from me so I can pack it in a gift box wrapped in a nice ribbon and give everything at once. If Konoha wants to take more from me, I rather give everything at once instead of one at a time. It's less painful this way."
"Haku-"
"You said peace is attainable if everybody can understand everybody else." I cut my godfather off as I looked at him. I know he is worried for me, but I'm tired. I don't want to make things more difficult for him by putting him in a difficult spot, especially not so in a trying time like this. He is now the Hokage. He needs to show the people that he can lead them as their Hokage. This is a difficult situation for him to be in. He had always been too kind for his own good.
He had been one of the nicest people to me ever since I found myself here, and I don't want to be a burden to him. I don't want to put him in a spot. I had willingly threatened the very safety of the village. I don't want him to be the one to personally issue my death sentence, which is the rightful punishment for what I did in regard to the Nibi situation in accordance to Konoha's laws. If he plead a lighter sentence for me, people will start doubting him because I got away scot free simply by being his godson. I don't want that. I want him to be Hokage. It is his dream.
For his dream, for his village, Konoha has to be united now. He needs to solidify his authority as Hokage and I absolutely cannot ruin this for him.
I don't want to force him to do something so cruel onto himself because of me.
But I also want to give him a big reality check. He cannot afford to be naïve if he is the Hokage. That will get him killed.
"You said understanding is the key to peace, but even in this small room of a handful of people, we are still unable to understand each other."
The feeling of holding onto a kunai never felt heavier before, but at the same time it never felt so comfortable.
"And that's why, your version of peace will never come true. It's just not possible. Not in a world where everyone is forced to kill everyone else, so that the economy our society is dependent on can continue to keep going. Not in a system where senseless violence is encouraged and it becomes the norm in our daily lives, allowing greed to run rampant. This world of shinobi is flawed, tou-san. The shinobi system is flawed. As long as the shinobi system exist, there will never be peace. We can never understand each other."
I look at him again, and I know from the look in his eyes that my words had hurt him.
"We shinobis are the biggest obstacles to peace. There will never be peace with shinobis around."
I hate disappointing him. I hate disappointing the two men who had been my father figures ever since I came here. Hiashi never spoke a single word, but I know enough to tell that what I did and what I said had pained his heart as well. It wasn't my intention, but I have to say what I want to say.
I'm sorry.
"I'm sorry."
I closed my eyes and think.
If there is no peace to be found in this world, if there is no way it can even be attained, then I don't want to stay here. There's nothing to anchor me here anymore. The one person who was my anchor is now strong enough to live on without me. She no longer needs my protection.
She promised me that she will never hurt me, but she did.
She nearly died. She nearly died in almost the same way Mum did. She could have died. She was so lucky that Yugito was there so I could use the Nibi to save her. She was so lucky that I happened to have the correct skillset to help save her. She was so lucky that the correct people were there to save her. So many things could have gone wrong. Just one thing out of place and she's a goner. She was so lucky.
She could have died.
Out of so many things that had hurt me since coming to Konoha, that hurt me the most. The one person who I am trying to protect the hardest had hurt me the most.
She had said that she will never hurt me.
What hurt even more is that I know she will keep throwing herself into mortal danger, because she is a shinobi of Konohagakure and it is her duty to do so. She will not stop. Being a shinobi had always been her dream. She will just keep heading into danger the moment she is given the order to, and all it needs is for one mission to go horribly wrong and she will be dead. I can protect her once, twice, thrice, ten times, a hundred times, but I cannot protect her forever if this is how things are going to play out.
I'm not God. I'm just a weak mortal cursed with a broken bloodline.
Her near-death had made me realised that I cannot protect her. The same goes for the rest of the people that I actually care because all of them are shinobis. They are expected to live and die for the village. The moment the village orders them to go and die, they will die.
Which means I cannot protect them, because this is how the world works.
In that case, then I don't have a purpose in life anymore. My purpose in life is now gone. The people that I keep trying to prevent from getting hurt will just end up hurting me instead.
Call me a coward, but I want an escape. I never said that I was brave or courageous. I don't want to get hurt anymore. I have enough of getting hurt. I just want out. The easy way out is fine.
I'm sick of this.
I'm tired.
I want out of this world. I didn't even ask to be here in the first place.
Why am I even here? Am I entertainment to some deity up there who planted me here for the fun of it? Watching my tragic life play out and laughing at my every move like it's some sort of TV drama? The Sage himself, perhaps?
I hate this twisted world. So much that I am starting to understand why canon Madara and canon Obito wanted to destroy this forsaken world. We could even be friends. Best pals even. I'm sure we can get along just fine.
Maybe I should be reborn as an Uchiha. It will be fitting.
I reopened my eyes just as my hand holding the kunai moved. Nobody would be fast enough to react at this sudden turn of events, not even the Yellow Flash. All of them will be expecting for me to hurt someone else, they will not be expecting for me to harm myself.
The kunai would find its mark on my neck, just as it should so many years ago, right before Obito-sensei wrongfully rescued me from that Kumo nin. I don't even remember the face of that Kumo nin anymore.
From the very beginning, I should have been dead when I escorted Hanabi back to Konoha so many years ago. That was how it should be like. I wasn't meant to survive. I wasn't meant to be here.
This should be how it ended, like it should so many years ago. I had never been a participant of this world. I never once belonged here. I am an anomaly. An outsider. Someone who never belonged to anywhere. Not to Konoha, and not to this world.
Who was I fooling anyway? That there is a purpose to me being here? Living a second life?
Me. I've always been trying to fool myself all this while.
I'm sorry.
As to who I'm apologising to, I don't know anymore.
I don't need to know anymore.