Chereads / the ice Ninja / Chapter 8 - pondering

Chapter 8 - pondering

Your brushstrokes are still uneven. Look," Kushina said as she held up the piece of paper that her apprentice had just been writing and practicing his kanji on earlier. "This particular stroke is approximately a few millimetres off where it should be. The distribution of the ink is uneven as well. This particular area," Kushina pointed out a stroke on the kanji with her finger. "Has too much ink while the end of the line-" Her finger traced the line downwards to said area as she spoke. "-has too little ink because too much of it was used when you first started to draw the line with your brush. Your hand is still unsteady. Kanjis need to be perfect, Haku, if we ever want our seals to work properly. I know I sound like I'm nit-picking, but this kanji is really unacceptable to be used for sealing purposes. You are close to perfecting your kanji, just try again."

Haku just released a small sigh and gave a nod of acknowledgement before trying all over again on another piece of paper. Kushina watched on as her apprentice began his fifteenth attempt this morning in writing kanjis. It's not like he is not trying hard enough, but for some reason he just can't seem to get it right. His strokes are always a little off, his hand always a little unsteady, and he just can't seem to completely clear his mind to get himself into a calm enough state to write out the perfect kanji.

"You know what? Just take a break for now." Kushina said as she took the brush away from Haku's hand the moment she saw him messing up his fifteenth attempt for the day. "Something is obviously bothering you and you will not get anywhere unless you get it out of your system. We can either sit here all day until your time here with me is up, or you can just talk it out with me and we will see if I can help you solve whatever is bothering you."

"Kushina-shishou, I am fine." Haku insisted with a look of annoyance on his face.

"No, you are not." Kushina said sternly as she placed her hands on her hips. She jabbed a finger in the direction of the pieces of papers that documented Haku's failed attempts. "It shows in your calligraphy. Don't even try to fool me, you are a hundred years too early to be able to do that, gaki."

Haku gave another sigh and Kushina felt her heart squeezed a little tighter. Haku is just a kid, he shouldn't have such a weary expression on his face.

"You heard about the mission that my team went on? The one that got bumped up to B rank from a C rank because we ran into a couple of Kiri nins?"

Kushina blinked her eyes and took a second to process what Haku said. She had heard about that mission from both Obito and her daughter. Kushina wasn't pleased that Naruto's mission was wrongly classified due to a lack of information and she almost went straight to the Hokage's office to give Kizashi a stern talking to if it wasn't for Minato holding her back. It was then that Naruto had told her that the ranking of the mission that Haku's team was on had been bumped up too, although the reason for it this time was due to unforeseen external influences. Naruto's mission, however, was wrongly classified because the mission office was too complacent and failed to check the client's background. It was something that could have been avoided. She had gone to check with Obito about Haku's mission since it is something that affected her only apprentice, only to be struck with the news that Haku had nearly been kidnapped by Kiri nins.

The Kiri nins were lucky that they faced Obito. They would not have gotten off if they had faced her instead.

"Yeah, I heard about it." Kushina said as she moved to sit beside Haku. "Is that what had been bothering you?"

"Not the mission itself. It's just that what happened in that mission got me thinking." Haku spoke as he begins to repeatedly manipulate the water vapour in the air to condense before allowing it to vaporise. It is a chakra control exercise that any shinobi that wishes to master the Water Release has to perfect, she had seen Haku done it many times in his spare time when he had nothing better to do. Haku is miles ahead any other Water Release users she had seen in Konoha. The sphere of water he condensed is the size of a watermelon compared to the average size of an orange. He is only thirteen. Kushina has no doubts that Haku will be a formidable shinobi in the future, the signs are all there.

"Shishou, what is freedom?"

"Freedom?" Kushina can feel her eyebrows coming closer together as she tries to understand what Haku is trying to ask.

"You were like me. You were forced to come and live in Konoha against your will. Your freedom was taken away from you. Don't you feel suffocated? Were you not angry at the arrangement?"

"I was scared." Kushina admitted. "But I was never angry at what happened. I grew to love Konoha as much as I loved Uzu, I found a place for myself in Konoha. I belong here."

"I don't feel that way, and I think everyone knows that." Haku said while his eyes are still trained on the sphere of water floating a short distance of his hand as he allows it to vaporise quickly before condensing it into liquid form again. "I don't dislike Konoha as much as I used to, but I don't think that I will ever grow to love it either. I have never wanted to become a shinobi, I was forced to be a shinobi against my will. I had always thought that if I grew strong enough I can simply leave the village and no one would be able to stop me, but my encounter with the Kiri nins just made me realised that no matter if I stayed in Konoha or not, I will always be hunted down and seen as the last wielder of the Ice Release bloodline. No one will want me to roam free because they want my powers for themselves. Even if I am strong enough to leave Konoha, I will never be truly free because shinobis of all kinds will always be after me if I ever left Konoha's protection. The Kiri nins are a prime example. The first thought they had the moment they found out about my bloodline was to kidnap me back to Kiri. They never stopped to think on who I am, whether I am willing to leave with them, or to even think about asking for my opinion. All they see are my powers and the value behind it. It was then that I realised that no matter what I do, I will never have the freedom that I dreamed of. But as I took a step back, I found that I have no idea on what freedom really is either."

Kushina's eyes softened at Haku's words. She knew better than anyone else what it is like to be seen as an outsider. The entirety of her childhood was spent trying to prove herself to the village and to get herself acknowledged by them. She succeeded. However, Haku does not seek anyone's acknowledgement simply because he doesn't need them. Whatever had worked for her will not work for him.

Haku had probably hated Konoha at one point for forcing him to be a shinobi. Whether the hate is still there remains to be seen.

"Shinobis are never free, Haku."

Kushina have no idea if what she is doing is the right thing to do, but Haku has to hear what she is going to say.

"You will never get out of the shinobi system the moment you entered it. You said you want freedom, assuming you get your freedom, then what? What will what you want to do?"

"I just want to live the rest of my life peacefully without any conflicts." Haku replied. "I never had problems in killing others, but I still don't like how we are forced to kill people we barely knew about simply because it is part of our mission."

"And that will never happen. Do you know why civilians in the Land of Fire flock to Konoha and try their best to convince the Hokage to allow them to stay in here? It's dangerous outside, Haku. Even if you had never met those Kumo shinobis that got you into Konoha, there is no guarantee that you will still be alive. You wouldn't have received shinobi training to learn how to defend yourself. You could have gotten yourself killed by bandits or rouge shinobis simply by being in the wrong place at the wrong time. This is why civilians try to get themselves a place to stay in shinobi villages, simply because it is so much safer living in one than to live outside without any form of protection at all." Kushina gestured with her hands as she spoke, and she knew that her motor-mouth is starting to run at full speed although she doesn't give a shit about it.

"So, let's say you succeeded in leaving Konoha after becoming so strong that no one in the village can fight you one on one. But how about facing a whole squad of hunter nins? Can you come out of it unscathed? Even if you do, how about waves after waves of hunter nins? How long can you hold them off until one of them gets a lucky shot in that takes your life? How about shinobis from other villages that wants to try their luck in acquiring you to further their military strength? How many times can you ward off attacks on your person until you are unable to do so? Every shinobi village is formed by the congregation of various clans for a reason. It is much safer in numbers than to be isolated alone. The whole reason why Konoha was founded was not just because to stop the fighting between clans, but also because it is also a lot safer if clans come together to help each other with their problems. There is a clan in Iwa that uses bees, they are called the Kamizuru clan and they had a rivalry with the Aburames. The rivalry was almost as bad as the rivalry between the Senjus and the Uchihas back then. However, they backed away from the Aburame clan instantly the moment the Aburames joined Konoha. Can you now see the benefits of joining a shinobi village? The problem with you, Haku, is that you have to learn how to accept."

Kushina used a finger and jabbed at Haku's chest where his heart is.

"You have to learn how to accept and face your circumstances. No one's life is ever smooth-sailing. I didn't ask for my clan to get wiped out and you don't see me still crying over it. Like you, I didn't ask to be in Konoha either, but I made do with my situation and I tried to fit in instead of distancing myself from everyone else. Admit it, the problem with you is that you wanted to leave Konoha because you wanted to run from your problems. You want to escape from the fact that you have nowhere else to go and that there is no getting out of the shinobi life for you. You want to live a life without killing and bloodshed, but you seriously need to get yourself a reality check. Whatever you wanted is never going to happen. I am not as naïve as Minato. That geek still thinks that true peace is possible, but I beg to differ even if I love him to hell and back." Kushina paused to look at Haku in the eye.

"You need to start learning that there are times where you will be thrown into circumstances that you will have no control over and unable to change a thing about it. What can be changed, however, is your mindset and attitude. You are a bright child, Haku, and I really enjoy teaching you fuinjutsu. But this is something that you can only learn by yourself. You need to stop whining and man up. You need to start to learn how to face your problems instead of running away from it."

Kushina finally stopped her lecture and allowed Haku some time for her words to sink in. She still isn't sure if what she did was the correct thing to do. What she just did might have strained their relationship, but she only had Haku's best interests in her mind when she lectured Haku. Haku needs to stop trying to escape from his problems. They aren't going to solve themselves.

Kushina gently pulled Haku into a hug and allowed him to bury his face into her shoulders. The forceful extraction of the Kyubi from her on that fateful night had left her body unable to bear anymore children after Naruto's birth. Thankfully, Minato had never minded that Naruto will be their only child even if she knows that he had always wished for more children. Minato himself had always wanted a daughter and he got himself one in Naruto, but Kushina had always wanted a son and Haku is the closest person to a son that she can ask for. Their circumstances are so painfully similar that she would do all she could to help him, but Haku needs to first learn how to help himself before that can happen.

He needs to learn how to first face his flaws, and then learn how to accept help from others.

Haku pulled himself away from her hug after a short while.

"Thank you, shishou. I… I will think about what you said."

"No problems." Kushina replied as she ruffled her apprentice's hair fondly. "This is what shishous do 'ttebane. You can always come to me if you have any problems. Just don't keep it in within yourself all the time."

A palm flaring with chakra lashed out at me like an angry serpent and I quickly swerved to avoid it. I used my hand to bat the palm away by its wrist and took a step forward to land a punch on my opponent's gut. She managed to catch it with her other free hand and I quickly substituted myself away with a water clone that was hiding nearby. As I expected, my water clone was destroyed a second later by the use of Gentle Fist. Whatever happened to my water clone would have been my fate if I had hesitated on whether to get out of the way.

"Stop using these stupid water clones!"

Hanabi found my hiding spot quickly with her byakugan and leapt towards me to engage me in taijutsu once more. No way am I fighting her in hand-to-hand combat.

Another splash of water told me that my second water clone was destroyed as I just substituted myself with it and I immediately threw my senbons at Hanabi the moment I gained distance. She deflected every single one of the senbons with her bare hands as I quickly used this borrowed time to go through hand seals.

"Water Release: Water Prison Jutsu!"

The water gathered on the ground thanks to my two clones that were destroyed earlier moved to caged Hanabi in a sphere of pressurised water. Hanabi only took a few seconds before she broke through the confinement by using her byakugan to identify the weakest spot in the jutsu before destroying it with her Gentle Fist.

"I really hate it when you keep using these water techniques. Now my hair is all wet."

"What else are you expecting when you are facing me?" I retorted as I quickly jumped back to avoid her palm strike. "It's like asking me to expect you not to use taijutsu when fighting you."

I managed to wrap one of Hanabi's wrist with a water whip and used it to throw her away to the other end of the training field. I went through another set of hand seals quickly.

"Water Release: Wild Water Wave!"

I released water from my mouth like a gushing waterfall and I watched in satisfaction as Hanabi was being swept away and she waved her arms frantically in an attempt to get out of there. My satisfaction was short-lived, however, as she substituted herself with a log just right after and I instinctively ducked and rolled out of the way. It was just in time as Hanabi came down from above and the blow from her palm strike blew a small crater on the ground. My head would have turn to mush if her blow had connected.

"Are you trying to kill me?!"

"Oh hush, there's no way you can get yourself killed with just that one move. You are too good for that. Now stand still so I can shut your chakra pathways down."

Hanabi just keep coming and my senbons did nothing but to slightly delay her charge towards me. I'm a little hesitant to use some of my bigger and more destructive jutsus as we are currently using the training ground in the compound and it isn't very big to begin with. I don't want to accidentally destroy a house or two due to a misfired jutsu.

Hanabi flung two kunais at me which I knocked off course with my senbon before flinging it in her direction. Screw it, I have to start using my bigger jutsus. I don't want to have my chakra pathways shut down by Hanabi's Gentle Fist, I feel like shit every single time she does that to me. Having even a small part of your chakra pathway shut down can hurt. A lot.

"Water Release: Water Fang Bullet!"

I released a wave of water which quickly spun itself in a drill-like motion and launched itself like a spear. Hanabi dodged it, but I manipulated the water to change its course and redirected it to chase after Hanabi. Hanabi dodged and weaved through the mass of water before hitting it at the side with a palm.

My water construct got destroyed the moment Hanabi injected her own chakra into it to disrupt the jutsu. She turned to face me, only to find a senbon pressing lightly onto her neck as my clone stood behind her with the senbon in hand.

"I guess I win this one."

Hanabi grumbled a little but she accepted her defeat and I dispelled my clone, purposely letting it dispel in a huge splash to drench Hanabi even further. That's what she gets for giving me such a hard time.

"Haku!"

"Can't help it, it is a water clone. They splash whenever they dispel."

I ignored Hanabi's glare and sat on the porch of our house that overlooks the small training field that we were using. I found the bottle that I left there before the start of our spar and took a quick drink. Hanabi joined me with a scowl on her face as she tried to squeeze out the water from her hair.

"Help me dry my hair."

"It will dry itself given time." I answered coolly. "Just let nature take its course."

Hanabi gave me a light kick on my shin and I decided that she had probably reached her maximum quota of getting drenched today. I probably shouldn't irritate her even further.

I redirected the water clinging onto her hair and clothes off them and let it splash on the ground away from us. Hanabi sat beside me and turned around so that her back is leaning against my left shoulder, effectively using me as something for her body to lean against.

The both of us sat there for a short while in silence as we cooled down from our earlier spar. Hanabi is getting better in her taijutsu and I'm finding it more and more difficult to keep up with her whenever we engage each other in close combat. Her skills in taijutsu alone is scary enough to deter most genins and probably a number of chunins. I cannot help but wonder if there is a higher level to the Gentle Fist taijutsu style. For the Hyuga clan to be seen as an equal to the Uchiha clan, surely there must be something in their famed taijutsu style that is able to match the many ninjutsus that the Uchiha clan boast. In fact, I don't understand why the Hyuga clan hardly use any form of ninjutsu or genjutsu in their combat style. All they stick to are their taijutsu.

"Hanabi, have you ever considered using ninjutsu?"

"Using the Gentle Fist already takes up a lot of our concentration to maintain the required chakra control. We have to control the chakra flowing through all our tenketsus, Haku." Hanabi replied absentmindedly. "We rarely have the mental capacity to use ninjutsu on top of fighting with the Gentle Fist."

I closed my eyes and ponder on this issue. The Gentle Fist can be considered a form of shape transformation due to how the Hyugas have to inject their chakra like a very thin needle into their opponent's chakra pathways with absolute precision. The problem the Hyugas faced is probably like how canon Naruto had problems trying to first create the Rasenshuriken. It simply takes too much concentration to combine both shape and nature transformation together. Using them separately or interchangeably would waste time, time opponents may exploit to bring them down.

Speaking of which, did Minato-shishou manage to complete the Rasengan in this world? He never mentioned this famed jutsu of his even once and I have never seen it being used.

"I think it would make the Gentle Fist so much more dangerous if you can master nature transformation on top of what you already know." I can see Hanabi turning her head around slightly to look at me from the corner of my eye as I said this. "Just imagine if you are able to cloak yourself in fire or lightning while jabbing at your opponents with your Gentle Fist. The Fourth Raikage uses a similar technique, doesn't he? I heard from Minato-shishou that he enhances his taijutsu with some sort of lightning armour. You should try and see if you can do something similar in your free time. You will be one hell of an opponent to take down if you can somehow manage it."

"That's…" Hanabi trailed off as she tried to imagine what I just said. "Actually kind of cool. I will be the first Hyuga in history to combine shape and nature transformation into our clan's taijutsu style if I somehow pulled it off."

"If anyone can do it, it's probably you." I said off-handedly. "You are no Neji, but you are a genius too."

"Awww, I didn't know you had so much confidence in me." Hanabi cooed annoyingly as she starts to poke my cheek with a single finger. I pushed the offending appendage away from my face. She's doing this just to annoy me and it's working.

Hanabi gave a light laugh and hummed a tune under her breath. I merely closed my eyes and listened. This is probably the most relaxing period of our shinobi career until we became chunin. Being chunin will mean that all the responsibilities of being a shinobi will start to set in and time will likely pass by in the blink of an eye. If some part of canon still holds true, then there would most likely be a world war in a few years' time that we will all have to participate. A war that I no longer know the outcome of since so many things had changed. People that I personally know might die. People that I had grown to care for might die.

I idly reached for the pendant that I always wore around my neck and stare at what is supposed to be my clan's symbol. I had always wondered if there is something unusual about this pendant that I did not know about, but so far, I didn't find anything out of the ordinary with it. To my knowledge, this is just an ordinary pendant that happens to bore the symbol of the clan that I originated from.

"You always bring that pendant wherever you go. Who gave it to you?"

"My mother. I kind of just took it from her before I left my village and met you. You see the symbol here?" I pointed to the snowflake-looking symbol etched on the pendant with my finger. "According to my father, this is the symbol of the Yuki clan."

"You know." My thoughts were interrupted as Hanabi began to speak. "Sometimes I think I know you very well, but there are times when I feel that I don't know you at all." Hanabi whispered as her eyes remained closed and her head still on my shoulder.

"People call me a man of mystery." I answered sarcastically. "What else do you want to know about me anyway? You are probably the person in the whole village that knows me best."

Hanabi remained silent for a short while before speaking.

"Your past. You never talked much about your past, especially about your father. I don't know much about you before I met you."

My mind drifted back temporarily to my mother. Her visage is getting blurrier in my mind with each passing day since I don't have a picture or a drawing of her to remind myself of how she looked like. The only thing I have to remind me of her is her pendant, the pendant that brought about that tragedy. I don't want to think about that tragedy. I don't want to think about my father.

It hurts just to think about what he did. Both the good and bad things. How he cared for me and Mum and how he tried to kill us. Even till now, I still don't understand what had happened.

I didn't realise it until Obito-sensei conducted some personal training with each of us individually. He pointed out during one of those individual sessions I had with him that I tend to hold back on using my Ice Release, even when I am against someone who is way above my league, choosing to fall back on my repertoire of water jutsus instead. He called me stupid for not utilising my kekkei genkai more often, which I agreed.

There's still a good reason for what I did though. It's mainly due to how I managed to call upon the powers of ice in the first place.

Even before I reached Konoha, I found out that I have to recall the feelings of how I awakened my kekkei genkai whenever I want to use it. Remember how I awakened it? It was after experiencing the betrayal, the sadness, the guilt, the rage, and a whole list of other negative emotions that I won't go into detail. It is not a pleasant experience. I guessed that over time, I had learnt to subconsciously refrain from calling upon the powers I have over ice, only calling it when I truly need it. I didn't get my psych checked by a Yamanaka, but it is probably a self-defence mechanism that my mind had erected to protect me from further mental trauma.

On hindsight, that is probably another reason why I tend to throw myself into training without even me realising it. It is a good way to not think too much about my past. It helps to distract myself from thinking about that fateful day. Hanabi's constant chattering and pestering is also another way to distract me and she is always here with me. I'm glad that she stuck by me for as long as she did, even if I have never told her how appreciative I am of her for being my closest friend in this village.

"It's…It's fine if you don't want to talk about it!" Hanabi quickly stood up and waved her hands wildly when I took a little too long to ponder about her words. "I know that it is probably an uncomfortable topic for you and I don't want to force you or anything! It's just that…" Hanabi fumbled with her words as she tried to get her point across without offending me, much to my secret amusement. Hanabi getting flustered is a very entertaining thing to watch. "If… If there is someone you want to talk to about your father… erm… there's me?" She winced as said sheepishly, her voice getting softer and softer towards the end.

"The reason why I don't talk about my past, especially about my father, is because he did something unforgivable. My past isn't pretty, Hanabi. It is one that is soaked in blood. People's opinion of me will change if they ever knew about it. I may act like I don't care about the opinions about others, but I do care, to a certain extent. It's impossible to totally disregard the opinion of others, especially when you had started to care for them. Maybe one day I will tell you about it when I'm ready." I said as I turned my gaze back to the small trees that are swaying slightly to the breeze. "Maybe."

Hanabi sat back down beside me as she idly played with a lock of her hair with her fingers, a sign of her nervousness.

"I'm fine, really. No need to feel bad for bringing this topic up."

A Hyuga kid around me and Hanabi's age happened to walk past at this very moment. He is one of those snobbish and stuck-up assholes from the main house and he took every opportunity to take a jab at me since I am not from the clan.

"Flirting with Hanabi again, ice boy? I still don't see what Hiashi-sama sees in you, all you do is to leech off our clan."

"Morning to you too, Yoshida-san." I replied neutrally. There's no point in engaging in trash talk with someone like him. All I have to do is to ignore him Kakashi-style and he will be on his way soon enough. There's nothing notable about Yoshida other than the fact that his father, Hyuga Kida, was also a candidate to the position of clan head alongside Hiashi. I had heard that there were some unpleasant things that happened when Hiashi's succession to the position of clan head was first confirmed back in the days, but no one really spoke about it. All I know is that Hyuga Kida wasn't very pleased with the arrangement.

"Get lost, Yoshida." Hanabi said venomously. "You are disturbing the peace here."

Hanabi really isn't giving him any face. Yoshida is someone who had somehow successfully put himself high up in Hanabi's shit list and she is not afraid to let him know about it.

"One day, Hanabi, you will see that I am right and you are wrong. An outsider like him will never be accepted into the clan, or the village. No one here truly trust him with anything."

"Get. Lost."

Wow, what did Yoshida do to earn such a treatment from Hanabi?

Yoshida walked away from us without much fanfare. The moment he is out of sight, I elbowed Hanabi gently.

"Just what did he do to earn your ire?"

"He's a prick, that's what. He's a traditionalist like his father, the type that expects woman to comply with everything a man says and that the man should handle everything." Hanabi bit out with a scowl on her face. "He never acknowledged any of the women in our clan by their efforts even when I can easily beat him into the ground with my own skills. He even had the gall to ask his father to go to Otou-sama to ask for my hand in marriage, and I quote his father, 'because she has strong Hyuga blood flowing through her veins and she will produce strong heirs for Yoshida'." Hanabi said in a mocking voice. "Hah! Like I will ever go to the freak willingly! I will sooner end him myself then let him come near me, much less let him touch me or to even bear his children. Disgusting."

I placed a comforting hand on Hanabi's shoulder. The world of the Elemental Nations is largely made up of heavily patriarchal societies, and people with similar thinkings to Yoshida's is commonplace. It is getting better, but the improvement is still small. The world will probably need another decade or two before women can start to stand on equal ground as men in this world without getting prejudiced simply because they are born a woman.

This world had made advanced progress in some ways, but also severely lacking in many others.

"Don't worry too much about it, your father won't want you to marry to such a man either."

"I just hope that is the case." Hanabi said as she released a sigh. "We Hyugas tend to marry within the clan for a reason. I'm not sure if you know this, but there are always complications if someone from the clan marry an outsider, especially if the outsider is a female. The pregnancy that resulted from the marriage often results in a miscarriage simply because our chakra is so potent that most outsiders won't be able to sustain the life of even a half-blood Hyuga foetus in their womb. We are not even talking about the problems of the thinning of our bloodline here. If the outsider is a male, then they have to agree to marry into our clan to prevent our secrets from leaking out and even then, it is not a safe guarantee that the man isn't a sleeper agent to steal our clan's secrets. The Uchihas face the same problems as well. It is just not worth the trouble to have our clansmen marry outside the clan. In our clan, Yoshida is one of the few boys my age and he is the only one from the main house. It is very likely that either Nee-san or I will be forced to marry him one day."

I took in Hanabi's words seriously and I felt a sense of simmering rage at the thought of Hanabi being married off to that waste of space. Yoshida is not someone who respect others and he will definitely mistreat Hanabi should he ever somehow get his hands on her.

"I can always stage a kidnapping on your wedding day if you ever find yourself engaged to him." I joked to cheer her up. "No one will know."

Hanabi giggled.

"I wonder what Otou-sama's face will look like when he sees me getting kidnapped again?"

"I think he will support us silently. Maybe he will even help us discreetly without anyone else knowing. Neji will probably help too together with Hinata."

"And then we pin the blame on… Who should we frame? Kumo? For giving us so much trouble?"

"And we pin the blame on Kumo so that we can get away scot-free." I nodded sagely.

"What if we somehow create another world war from this?"

I paused in my thoughts. Technically speaking, it is not impossible for that scenario to happen.

"Then we will probably get our names etched into the history books for being the instigators to the start of the Fourth Shinobi World War. Shinobis will know our name for generations as the people who started a war so that you can escape an arranged marriage, and if that doesn't point out how much of a dick Yoshida is, I don't know what will."

Hanabi laughed even louder and I smiled. I wonder how many more of such carefree days will we have before the shit from canon starts to hit the fan? I had wanted my freedom and there was a very long period of time when I just wanted to escape the village at any chance I got, even at the risk of being marked as a missing nin.

However, the botched-up mission that made me ran into the Kiri nins was a rude awakening. The fact that they kidnapped me for my bloodline made me realised that there's no such thing as true freedom in the Elemental Nations. Freedom always comes at a price, especially so for a shinobi. Once you became a shinobi, you never stopped being a shinobi. You will get dragged into shinobi affairs no matter how much you try to distance yourself from it. The only shinobis who achieved freedom are either missing nins, who often died in less than half a year after deserting their villages, or dead shinobis. Even S rank missing nins who lived a long life like Kakuzu have to live a life on the run from bounty hunters on a regular basis since everyone is out for the bounty on his head. It was probably one reason why he joined the Akatsuki. No matter what, humans are social creatures and there is strength in numbers. The life of a missing nin isn't true freedom either.

I only reached that realisation a few days ago after hearing the talk Kushina-shishou gave me and I pondered long and hard about my circumstances. Her words made me realised that the moment I had decided to help Hanabi many years ago, I had sealed my fate to walk on the path of a shinobi for the rest of my life.

In all honesty, Kushina-shishou was right. My fate could have been worse. I could have been killed by Yagura's extremists or any other random shinobi that I had the unfortunate luck to cross paths with. I could have been whisked away to a more brutal shinobi village than Konoha. At least Konoha is a shinobi village that I have an idea on what I can possibly expect from it, thanks to my prior knowledge and to an extent, I know who I can trust in Konoha based on what I had read from the manga.

Me being stuck in Konoha is already a fact fixed in stone. Like what Kushina-shishou said, if I cannot change my circumstances, then the only thing I can do is to start changing my mindset. I need to focus on what I have now instead of wallowing in what I had lost in the past. What happened to Dad and Mum is an unfortunate tragedy, but I need to start to learn how to face it, not escape from it. It is embarrassing that it took me eight years and the experience of two lifetimes to learn this lesson, but at least I learnt.

It's time I stop running away from my problems.