Summary:
Another tale of a queen, and a side
Chapter Text
Omnitraxus smiled. "Princess Festiva, I congratulate you on finally coming of age." Due to Shasticon being … eaten, it fell upon Omnitraxus to raise the child. Lekmet could only grow plants and not children, Rhombulous was essentially an overgrown child himself that Festivia more or less found annoying, and Heckapoo…in all honesty she was probably the second best choice, but her reckless nature and preference to stay in her own dimension lead to her gaining 'cool irresponsible aunt' status.
So it was up to him … and here he was, watching what was essentially his daughter in all but genetics take up her wand with a smile. "I promise to bring peace and joy to our kingdom after the atrocities my mother has brought upon us." After so many diapers and crying sessions, it eventually grew to story times and piggy backs, and soon just gentle guidance.
The citizens cheered being none the wiser to the cover up, and Omnitrackis felt a few tears fall from his eyes. From day one, they made sure to reiterate to this random peasant girl that monsters were evil, and the work practically did itself from there. " You are already wise beyond your years, young Festivia. You will do the Butterfly name proud."
The umbrella she took started peeling off layers of darkness, warping and twisting until it became a chalice filled with liquid. The girl stared at it, tooling a tentative sip. "… Aww, it's juice." She pouted. "I was hoping it was Aunty Hekapoo's adult stuff."
"Heckapoo gave you … never mind, I'll be mad later." He did not need his daughter to die of alcohol poisoning so soon, at least not before she had a kid.
They both notice a majority of the citizens stop staring, looking at the door. "Is something wrong?" She asked.
"No, your majesty." An elder bowed. "Today is a glorious day … it's just, this is usually the moment the Rose Guard shows up." He explained. "She has a habit of running late."
"Oh, you mean the large pink lady that looks all warm and cuddly?" Festivia asked. "Strange, I always hear about her, but I've never met the woman myself."
"She had a close relationship to Eclipsa … her betrayal to the kingdom deeply devastated her." He told yet another well sewn lie that the commission spun for the new princess. "She's been spending most of her days guarding the border between kingdoms." And by that he meant drinking bars so dry that she managed to find a way to get drunk despite her species supposed to be immune to toxins of any kind. The only reason she did as she pleased was because they were still trying to figure out what the fuck that event was .
"That must suck …" The princess smiled. "I know the perfect way to cheer everyone up." She turned to the crowd. "Let us partake in a festival!"
"Another one? Well, I guess today is a warrant for one … even if we're still cleaning up the pre coronation party from last night." Festivia had a habit of spending quite a bit of resources on her extracurricular activities.
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Three eyes liked to think he had a couple of humiliating moments. His brothers planting yellow blood on him to make it look like he peed his pants, the local bully tossing him into a sewage line, the rejection of his crush … this one took the cake.
"Do you-you you know how haaard it was to do this?" The Knight, the Rose Guard told the bubbled monster ambush. "I had to make it all! A liver, lungs, bloodstream, I had to make it all to get drunk! I should, should just drink tar, it's easier and faster you know?"
"Seriously, how wasted is this chick?!" One of his two headed buddies questioned. "And how is she so good at beating the crap out of us like this!?"
"Lik I saaaiid! It taaakes a looot of concentration for me to get druunnnk! Thaaaat meeaans that sum paaaaary of me needs to stig concious."
"Uh, look lady, I don't know what your deal is, but I don't think whatever problems you have can be answered at the bottom of a bottle." Three eyes threw his two cents in.
"Oh kiss the pinkest part of my ass!" … There were pinker parts? "I just … they're all assholes, ya know?" She said. "You spend a whooole life proecin a people and what to they-they give ya? A crazy queen, a locked up queen, and a bratty fake queeeeen!" She shouted.
"Wait, you hate the Butterfly family?" One of the slime guys said curiously. "Aren't you like, one of their oldest ally's or something?"
"I don't hate the family, that's stupid, ya big stupid glue. I hate the people that decide war and hate are good, cause they're bad." She stared off. "Like, suuuper bad. It's why …" She hiccuped. "Why I'm lettin ya go after … cause the other knights would stab ya in the melons."
"I spent so much making them grow though!" A lizard held up an impressively large fruit. "Didn't take you of all people to be a monster lover though."
"I looooovvvee anything basically. Poodles that treat life like garbage I treat look garbage back. The new queen thooogh don't give me much too looove around here."
Three eyes felt like he should do something, anything for this poor woman … Then an idea hit him. A really … a really stupid idea. "What if … you saw the other side?" He asked.
"Three eyes, don't you fucking dare." Two head told him.
"Whaaats you on abou?" She asked with a confused head tilt, like a baby bird.
"Two nights from now, we're having a 'down with Mewman' rally led by Seth, the top Serpatis."
"Ser-what's it?" She asked.
"Lizard people." Said lizard stated. "Three eyes, that's a private event!!"
"Well she needs something man, this is just sad." He argued. "Do you WANT to keep coming back to this mess every time we try to get through Mewni's defenses?" He gave them all a knowing look.
"... Just so you know, we're putting all the blame on you for when this inevitably screws us over." The lizard rolled his eyes. He was gonna suffer bad … and here he thought his life was turned around.
"Fine, ima go over there and tell them they're stuuupid morons just like the lot of them!" The Rose Guard drank even more. "Just shout it out more, cause why not!?"
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"Hangovers, cause that's why not." Rose groaned. Shapeshifting made it easier to flush out the alcohol from her system, but that didn't mean she wasn' immune to the headache from nearly an entire month of none stop drinking. It was times like this that she did understood Pearl's reluctance to put any sort of food into her body at all.
And according to the gem, she apparently agreed to attend a Mewman hate rally … so basically the inverse of her usual hate rallies in the castle grounds. "Today is going to suuuuck." She may have been BEYOND pissed at the Commission for what they did, and refused to acknowledge the 'new Butterfly', but that didn't mean she would just abandon the naive and ignorant populace of the kingdom's people.
But that one guy did have a point … maybe she should see it from the other side for a change. She rarely stayed around monster encampment, usually just hanging around to hand them food when needed and help them grow food. Not to mention giving them occasional vials of her tears for the very sickly and injured ones. Besides, if the Commission ever saw her here, it would make them super pissed, and she very much loved that idea.
She went inside of a tent, staying behind in the back as luckily, no one noticed. They were all busy talking among one another as they stared at an empty stage. One that was soon filled by a giant lizard, a gleam in his yellow eye. "Brothers, sisters, cousins!" He shouted. "I am glad you have heeded this desperate call of action we need!"
"Yeah!" She heard the mass populace of monsters, mainly filled to the brim with lizard people, cheered and roared with adoration. The man on the stage was clearly very popular with this particular group at least. And he had a decent sounding voice.
"We once ruled this land in peace! We had the shifters, the slimes, the kappa, all tribes but equal in power." He went on. "But then the Mewmen showed up … invaders. They purged us from our lands, terrorized our kind, deny us shelter and food when the starving deserve it!"
That was once again a very good point, especially with what she suspected with how the magic well in the sanctuary worked. So much magic affected the early settler's minds that they could hardly know what species they were when she first saw them making progress.
"Now after years we have no results! Our bouts fail, our scouts scrounging for food fail, even PEACE ITSELF has failed, every generation ending up worse than their predecessors! Queen Eclipsa was removed from power because she tried to make peace with us!!"
The crowd shouted even louder. There was an unrivaled level of satisfaction that she felt at the, in her mind, righteous indignation the monsters had for her imprisoned friend.
"Alone we are outpowered and weak, that is true. But together … we're invincible." He called out. "They call us monsters due to our different appearance, we have allies abound and galore. When we band together there is nothing we can't accomplish! We will take our home back, we will take our lives back, we will murderthose self righteous bastards that stomp us to the ground!"
And he had to ruin it. She was just about to give him the benefit of the doubt but then he had to involve the same old hate and crap everyone seemed to LOVE being trapped in. The fact everyone cheered even louder only served to depress her even more.
"Seth is amazing."
"Such kind words."
"An inspiration."
They all said around and next to her. Seeing how they admired the bastard so much, she added her own two cents. "I think it's a tad overkill, but everyone seems to like that don't they?"
"Oh come on, don't tell me you … like those …" The shifter that turned to her had their skin pale … quite literally given their skin changing. "THE ROSE GUARD!!" The monster screamed, the other monsters stopping and staring.
"Oh, don't mind me, keep going." Rose shrugged.
"It's the Rose Guard."
"She's a lot bigger than I heard."
"I thought she always had a smile."
She could hear the whispers. "How did she even get here, this place was supposed to be secret!" One nearly shouted in hysterics.
"Geesh, for people all about hating judgment on appearance, you sure seem to give a lot of that." Rose snickered.
Seth gave a hearty laugh, making it way to her. "Forgive them, they don't judge you for your appearance, but for the tales they've heard about you. Defender of Mewni, unbeatable, immortal, soft spot to all things." He said, getting closer and closer.
"Oh really? Can you add eternally pissed off to that list, because that's all I've been able to feel for the last fifteen years or so." Rose rolled her eyes. "Everywhere I go, no matter what dimension, I see the same cycle happening over and over again,"
"And how would you take it?" He asked, but it wasn't sarcastic. There was a hint of genuine curiosity as he circled her. "Any queen that hates us is adored and any one that likes us is locked away. The only solutions are acceptance that we will live hated and detested, take them all out, or destroy the Magic High Commission. And as much as I preach about the power of unity and cooperation, I don't think we have the tools to rid the world of filth like the latter."
"Oh, trust me when I say I have absolutely no love or respect for the Commission. Thing is though, they can't lay a finger on me." She chortled.
"Oh, and here I thought you couldn't become more radiant and amazing then you already are." Seth smirked.
"And you're as smooth as a slithering snake." She sent the smirk right back.
"Dude, what is happening right now?"
"I have no clue."
"How about a more private scene? I have a cave a whiles' walk away, if it's acceptable for someone as high up in the world as yourself."
"Please, if I cared about standing on a pretty pedestal, I'd be in that castle wasting Mewni's money on the airhead that sits on the throne now."
The lizard laughed. "If there's one thing we won't have to worry about soon, it'll be the underfunded and in debt army that castle will soon have." Finally, someone else saw how bad at the job she was.
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Seth walked her into the musty little place he called home. "I would have cleaned up if I knew I was having company. The moss is only partially grown."
"Don't worry, any little bit of nature growing is a pleasant sight to behold." The lustrous pink being that graced his home said with a small smile.
"I must thank whoever it was that told you where to come. It's not often one is graced with someone as amazing as you and you're kind."
"I protect Mewmans and you say that you love my kind." She snickered. "I can't tell if that's irony or hypocrisy."
"I can overlook a few minor character flaws, shall we say, to admire the gleam in your eyes." Seth responded.
"Alright, I have to ask." She placed a hand on her hip. "What about me is so 'incredible' to you? I'm nothing special."
"You and your race are special." He explained. "Besides your stones, which are always captured, you and the other two that show up at times are immortal. Unkillable and living forever." Seth rambled. "And it doesn't make you assholes with a sense of nihilism and importance … it makes you whatever you want to be. You'll see the entire universe play out and you get to watch everything we ever did and will do."
"It is such a lovely experience thinking back on it. Funny enough, it was only 6,000 years ago that I finally was able to appreciate life as it is." The Rose Guard said in a nostalgic tone.
"And that's another thing about you. You admire all life equally, preaching for its beauty and growth. It's a level of peace so optimistic that no living thing can actually comprehend it, even myself." It was incredible that someone so kind existed.
"Well at least you're self conscious about it." She grumbled. "You know, you are quite the natural born leader. You can rally up your men quite easily … I think you can do more than just make an army."
"Meh, there was never a point of a leader before." He responded. "Back before the Mewmans came, people lived how they pleased in a free land. No rulers or dictators, with our only real law being sparing the sapient life." He turned to her. "Was it as great as it sounded, or were you only here when they were?"
"In a way, yes." The gem sighed fondly. "Much of the land was untouched and there was a sense of more community among everyone, the only issue I had with it was stagnation in developing that community."
"Who needed development when peace was already achieved?" He asked with a raised eye.
"Back where I'm from, you could say my kind achieved peace, and it was the most draining and dull life you could imagine." Saying so looked like it left a bitter taste on her tongue. "And then I saw some of the early stages of Mewman settlement. Back then, the exposure to magic was too much for them to handle, they were all essentially overgrown children who didn't know their own hands in front of them."
He let out a bellowing laugh. "Oh how I would have given my arm and leg to see that!" He pounded the cave wall.
"I dunno, it's some nice limbs." She smirked.
"Eh, they grow back." He shrugged. "We lizards heal fast and well. After realizing this myself and its advantage in combat, I caused myself pain until I stopped feeling it … I'd rather put myself on the line than my men, cause I can take it."
"I know that pain far too well." Rose sighed. "I'm the one with the shield, so it's my job to protect everyone, no matter how big I need to make it, or how great the pressure becomes."
"And since you're playing for both sides it's double the pressure." He added on.
"Oh what, and you want me to chop your head off as an alternative?"
"If it's you and your blade, an alternative becomes a fantasy." He half joked.
"You don't know when to quit, do you?" Rose laughed.
"A good thing about immortality I've picked up on is being patient and persistent."
"I've been both for years and look where it got me on 'peace talks' between the nations. I swear Skywyne, Justin, and Eclipsa were some of the only sane ones." The pink one slumped. "It's like catching lightning in a bottle. If you manage to do it once, you can never have it again."
"You can catch lightning in a bottle?" He asked with surprise.
"It's a lot more complicated than what I'm saying, but yes. The feat became so popular that it's now a well known earth euphemism."
"Earth … are they any saner than the Mewman?"
"... I'll get back to you." Seth supposed ignorance was just a multiversal trait. "Anyways, not saying it has to be you, but if you can gather your men under a leader and begin working on your own civilization, you have the possibility to look more stable and self sustaining than the Mewmans, and that'll be super humiliating to all the kingdom, especially the Magical High Commission."
"..." He smirked. "You're a devious lady aren't you?" He went forth and kissed her hand. "Thank you for this idea."
"No, thank you for having the most sense in your head out of everyone I've met in a while." The woman smirked and kissed him on the snout, making him flush just a tad. This felt like the start of a long and beautiful, not to mention beneficial, relationship.
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Festiva smiled as she made her way to her room, flopping onto the bed. "So many smiles." It was incredible to watch the joy on those people's faces. Sure times were bad, but as long as people could be happy though them it was all worth it, and they'd pull through.
"Omni, let me in, let me..!" She heard the shouting of her Aunty Hekapoo from outside the door before she bursted into her room. "Hey Kiddo, how's it going?" The apparent anger she heard from outside seemed to have quelled, but the pale woman's face looked a bit weird.
"Great! The people are happy, the sun is shining, and the kingdom is content." Festiva answered. "How's it going for you?"
"Good, spent a hundred years stopping an illegal dimensional scissor manufacturing, but that's beside the point." Heckapoo shook her head. "So, care to tell me why most of the castle's guard's are passed out drunk in the hallways and in the streets?"
"Well most of them complained about being irrelevant if Rose is going to spend her time around the border anyway, since we haven't had an attack in ages." The queen explained. "So I gave them the day off so they could feel better." After all, a depressed guard wouldn't have any of the fire in their soul needed to fight! She was such a genius, happiness did fix all problems.
"And why did I have to stop a hoard of dragons that are in the stables outside from burning the place to the ground?"
"Really? I thought they were better trained than that." Oh well, guess she needed to buy better new ones. "I got them so they can do some fancy fire show stuff for the parties."
"And why did I find a bill for 10,000,000 for streamers and bean dip?"
"Because it isn't a party unless you have the essentials, duh."
She groaned. "Festiva, you can't waste so much money on this kinda stuff."
"Sure I can. I have magic, that means I can learn a spell that just makes more money." The queen explained a simple answer.
"That's not, money doesn't work…" The pale woman groaned before turning to her daddy. "Omni, what have you been teaching the girl this whole time!?"
"The essentials. How to dress herself, how to read, monster's are devil spawn, everything that a growing girl needs to learn." Her daddy shrugged. "Finances are Lekmet's thing, and he's never around."
"Oh, I almost forgot!" She shouted. "You know that monster examiner we have?" The two of them looked at her.
"We have a monster examiner?" Heckapoo asked.
"Yeah, apparently Skywyne put the position in place or something as a favor to Rose." She waved it off. "Anyways, they said something really funny, that the monsters were gathering together and building their own little town, like they're people or something, so ridiculous."
"Yeah … absolutely …" Papa nodded. "We'll talk with them, in the meantime you may want to rest up, it's getting late."
"Yeah, not really feeling the mood for a midnight party." She shrugged. The sky was too dark, there weren't going to be any fun stars to gaze at.