Summary: Some casual issues.
Lapis flew with Steven as they surveyed the land. "Hmm … so far the forest is the only place that seems okay so far … peaceful and serene."
"Yeah, and there's not too many people that'll come in unannounced and bother you, except maybe the occasional squirrel and bird, but they're harmless."
"True … there's not many things that can harm me …" She nodded as they landed back next to the barn. "Thanks for showing me around … I know I haven't been able to so far, but I promise to repay you and Star for everything you two have done for me."
"Don't sweat it, Lapis, you being free is already enough." Steven replied with that innocent smile. "Just…for once the weight of the world doesn't feel like it's on our shoulders."
"Still on an emotion high from your kiss, huh?" Star walked up to them with a laugh. "I remember my first kiss….over a pool of lava too."
"Apparently the 'spark' was so magical she caught on fire." Steven laughed.
"I've seen flints rub themselves so hard from holding on to each other that they left a trail of fire wherever they went." It was a strange but amusing sight. "So do you just fuse with each other whenever the organic mating ritual occurs?"
"... Universe, please give us a distraction?" Why would Steven just assume that would work?
"Yo, Lazuli!" … Oh great … her . "In the spirit of 'redemption' and 'friendship', I am told it is customary to create an apology gift, so I spent the last day creating this!" The tiny gem pointed to … "A pool. You like water, right!?"
"Yes … because a pool is just what you need when you spend the last few months at the bottom of the ocean." Lapis told her dryly. "Because it's just a joy to have your own power become a cage of self imprisonment, where the literal pressure of the world is keeping you down."
"Ahh … I see …" Peridot spoke with a weak chuckle, backing up slowly before running inside the barn. "What do I say after that!?"
"Maybe start with making a card." That bastard Space Unicorn, or as everyone else called him, Marco, suggested to the tiny twerp.
"How on earth, or any planet in this universe, can you even stand to be near those two?" Lapis asked the two.
"Well, I live with Marco and his family, and they're really cool and super sweet." Star explained herself. "Yeah, his earth ways can be a little strange, but he tries his best to understand people…except Lars, he does everything he can to avoid him."
"Sounds like the only decent piece of advice he could offer." Lapis groaned. "Steven, thanks again for helping me look around…but I don't think I can be on the same planet as Peridot if she's going to stay on Earth, it hurts just to look at her stupid face."
"That's understandable …" Steven looked around awkwardly. "I could … maybe take you back to the palace?"
Lapis raised an eye. "I wouldn't be imposing, right?"
"Nah, the castle has more than enough space for four people living in it, and it's super easy to find a quiet room if you want to be alone." That sounded perfect. "Are you sure, though? Peridot is a bit much, but she has tried to be better."
"Steven, my mind for the last few months has been … violent … I don't trust myself around normal people, much less her and Marco." So much anger and hate … and satisfaction.
"It can't be that bad." Star said.
"I want Peridot in shards and Marco buried alive as I laugh over their decaying bodies while on fire." The other two understandably took a step back after that. "So, what have I missed while in space … and under the sea?" She smiled. "I'm still your friend to talk to after all, right?"
"Oh yeah, that's not going to change, ever." Steven returned the grin. "Biggest things that happened: Star's and my powers have been glitchy, one of our bad guys stole half the wand and the jerk in the spellbook, I've fused with two girls, met my earth dad, and I spent three years in another dimension alone with Kelly while trying to find Marco and found out my age is based on how old I feel."
"Oh yeah, time dilation is a bitch." She nodded.
"Why is that the thing every gem agrees on?" Star asked. It was good to be back … it felt nice and relaxing for the first time in a long while.
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Ms Heinous laughed. "I must say, you have quite the charming husband, Mrs Diaz." She came in demanding for Princess Marco, but apparently they were 'at a barn' and would 'be back later'. Luckily the family offered snacks as compensation.
"Why thank you, believe me when I saw trying to find the perfect match wasn't easy." The lady gave a light giggle in response. "Spent a good year or two traveling abroad trying to sort out my feelings on the whole thing."
"And I knew from the moment our eyes met that we were the perfect match." The man smiled, holding his wife close. "And when she said yes I knew then and there I could die happy."
A perfect couple … a shame they gave birth to that rebellious icon. The door opened, as all looked. "I'm just saying, give it a couple of years and they can sort it out on their own-" The rebellious creeten, Marco Diaz. "YOU!"
"YOU!" She shouted back.
"HER!?" The Mewman princess yelled out while pointing her wand out.
"HIM!?" The green bush pointed at Rasticorn in her hand.
"YOU!" The Mewman boy, going by the marks on his face, glared at her assistant.
"YOU!" Her butler cracked his knuckles.
"... Them?" A strange green creature questioned.
"Hey now everyone, let's calm down." The Diaz man raised his hands high. "I'm sure we can come to a nice civilized discussion."
"....That's actually the first time anyone other than me or Marco has ever suggested otherwise first." The Mewman boy said, lowering his guard.
"And for once, I agree with my enemies." Heinous spoke. "I came here for a civilized discussion and to demand retribution for the actions of Princess Marco Turdina."
"Turdina? Who in their right minds would name themselves after disgusting excrement of digested food?" The green creature asked out loud.
"It was an insult that caught on as an actual name. It's as if someone called you Clodio and suddenly everyone assumed that was your facet number." The boy explained.
The small green one blinked before laughing and rolling on the ground. "Oh, oh that is hilarious!"
"Yeah, yeah, very hilarious, but that still doesn't explain why you're here." The Woolet kept her sword in hand.
"Well first I found you by using a location potion from an unused 'bobby pin'." Ms Heinous explained.
"I thought you said we would need that!?" The Mewman princess shouted with rage.
"Well excuse me for wanting to be prepared for every scenario!"
"You see, Mr and Mrs Diaz, your son has destroyed my institution and caused all princesses under my care to rebel."
"You strapped them all to chairs and forced their eyelids open to watch repetitive messages to brainwash them." The Mewman boy rolled his eyes. "I'm pretty sure that's illegal in at least every dimension ever."
She snapped her fingers, Gemini opening his head cavity and pulling out a stack of papers. "The fully approved paperwork for any and all actions she has taken, in triplicate." He spoke, placing them on the table. "We have the legal right to sue you for everything you own."
"What the…Who the hell approved this?!" The Mewman princess looked through the paperwork. "Signed by… Omnitraxus Prime of the Magical High Commission!?" The girl's face marks began to set on fire.
"How shady can those guys get!?" The Woolet cried out. "No wonder why your mom doesn't trust them."
"While the nature of this is very debatable, and we will be willing to pay with what you ask even if we don't agree …" Mrs Diaz stated, before turning to her son. "I thought you promised to tell us of any more interdimensional chikanary, and this woman says you destroyed her entire institution!? How is that not something you share with us!?"
"That happened about two months before you wanted to know more, and I was forced to wear a dress, that's something I'd rather forget."
"MONTHS!?" Mr Diaz shouted. "Have you been going around destroying places far longer than we thought!? And don't you complain about dresses, we still have you posing at that one party when you were four!"
"Oh come on, the school wasn't even destroyed, we just blasted a couple of robot guards!" The Mewman princess countered back.
"Now, now, let's not get too worked up." Ms Heinous called out. "This can all be resolved easily. While in most situations I would just sue, your son has caused a rebellious spirit that undid years of work, and thus, has become an icon." She smiled. "I will be satisfied with the simple punishment of having his entrails spell the words 'broken' on the walls of my building."
"....Okay, we're REALLY going to have to discuss the debatability of some of this legal work." Mrs Diaz responded with a worried sweat. "I'd rather keep my son's insides on the inside."
"If that's the case, how about I rip off his arms and hand them on a scarecrow?" A simple matter, and it would keep everything inside.
"Can't we just … beat her up?" The woolet asked.
"Legal battle, the one kind we can't just magic our way out of … as much as i'd like to." The princess put away her wand with a glare. "Putting aside that you sent an assassin to kill us not too long ago, we're not going to let you mutilate Marco or anyone else for that matter."
"How about we just have…a recorded confession to all of Princess Turdina's wrongdoings?" The Mewman boy suggested. "Have him say whatever you want him to say that goes against the 'rebellious spirit' and destroys the idea of him being a symbol."
She thought it over. That would be the most direct method instead of him becoming a martyr … "Very well. Gemini, get the camera." She stated, rubbing Rasticorn's hand. "And Marco … get the dress."
"How about we just send her to the void instead?" The brat tried to weasel out of the situation.
"Marco, just put on the dress!" The Woolet shouted as she raised the sword threateningly.
"I still don't see the big deal with the dress and saying we're crushing rebellious spirit … Does anyone want to explain, however, why that HAND IS STILL MOVING?" The tiny green one shouted. "It doesn't even have a visible share point!"
"Septarsis are immortal and regenerate from anything. Isn't that right, my little Rasticorn?" She asked, delivering a kiss onto the back of the hand.
"Beginning to see why you don't talk about it that much." Mrs. Diaz muttered.
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"Okay, so the thing is … I might have overreacted a tad."
"OVERREACTED!?" Star shouted. "We came to talk to you about the signing of Saint Os, and you crystallize EVERYONE!" Princess Star Butterfly pointed to her group of friends that were now trapped in his crystals.
"Now in my defense … you came in here with violence when this is supposed to be my zen zone." He replied. "I felt threatened."
"You don't get to say that when you crystalize my BROTHER! Your supposed Gem Buddy!" She pointed to said crystalised prince in question.
"I know I know!" He shouted, pacing back and forth. "I'm supposed to be the only guy standing up for him, but here I am hurting the one person in the multiverse that doesn't call me an idiot!" Luckily his hands were able to stop himself from showing tears.
"Okay, it can't be that bad…"
"No, Omnitrackis checked." His left hand answered Star. "Those other weird versions of Quartz don't like their versions of Rhombulus. And that's not getting to the fact that Glossaryck, my DAD, cursed me with SNAKE HANDS! Do you wanna know why!?l
"… Because he wanted to give you some biting power?"
"To teach me a lesson that having snakes for hands is hard!" He punched one of his empty crystal structures, which shattered to pieces.
"Hey, you're still pretty strong even with snake arms…"
"That ain't because of muscle, that's because the magic of his crystals have become weaker because of the fritz." His right hand explained. "Some of these guys are really dangerous, you know, terrors of all realities!"
"… A golden dorito and a blob of pixels are the most dangerous things?
"Don't think for a second that the triangle isn't dangerous, he can outpower Glossaryck with just a blink of an eye, it's only by sheer ego that he can be tricked into being contained." The mess in Gravity Falls was a disaster to clean up after. "That's not even getting into this hand right here!" He pointed to a yellow disembodied hand. "The entity of death itself!"
"Wow … how do you know they're all evil?" Star asked curiously.
"I trust my gut." She stared at him, pointing to her friends. "....My gut told me you were responsible for the fritz."
"We're not. Believe me, If I knew for sure what was causing it, I'd tell you." The princess groaned. "My best guess is that it has something to do with a lizard guy named Toffee that had me blow up the wand.."
"Wait, Toffee is back!?" Glosseryck would've done a spit take if he was actually drinking something.
"No, he blew up with my wand…wait, you know who he is?"
"Yeah, he was the leader of the Septarsis, and wanted to kill all Mewmans. Your mom is the only reason his army was stopped." He sighed. "What a glorious woman she is …"
"Dude! You just froze my brother and friends and now you're fantasizing about my mom, so have some decency!"
"I'm not fantasizing about Queen Moon!" He shouted, his hands hissing. "Shut up you two!"
"Look, I just helped save Earth not too long ago, and I feel lighter than I've been in a while, so if you just tell me what the deal with Saint O's is and let my friends walk out of here, I'll keep my mouth shut about this incident to my mom."
"No clue, they really don't tell me much other than major inter dimensional crimes." He sighed. "I'm just the guy they need to stuff people into crystals. I deserve more respect than this."
"Well you can also be the guy that takes them out …" She smiled. "You can threaten jailbreak, you have the power!"
"Yeah…Yeah I have the power!" He suddenly felt himself get pumped. "They better watch their backs, or I'll rain death on all of them!" Not really, because he wasn't evil, but the sentiment was still nice to think about.
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River watched as his son walked in with another gem. "Hey dad, hey mom … this is Lapis, she was in the mirror I used to have. The recording one?"
"Yes…the one that used to belong to Rhombulus if I recall correctly…" His precious Moon-pie looked half exhausted and half content with the situation. "I take it there's a reason she's here and not with the other Crystal Gems."
"Yeah, the thing is … they left me locked away for thousands of years in a mirror, and they reformed my second captor … earth has too many bad memories for me to stay." The gem looked ashamed. "Steven offered me a place here … I don't want to intrude, I can just stay in the forest if need be."
"Nonsense, we have plenty of room here!" River laughed. "And gems don't eat food, so it's not like you'll eat us out of home!" Unlike that blasted cat inside of the bottle. He had to stay underground for nearly a week with a few scant selections of food.
"My son definitely seems to have a habit of collecting strays." Moon said as she petted Quartz Jr, their son's pet goat that reminded Moon of Lil Chauncy, the sole reason why River refrained from eating it.
"Oh … that explains the new guy." The gem looked at Steven Jr, the one eyed cat that rested on the mane of Rose's lion.
"Yeah, I mean, who doesn't want to make a new friend?" Their son explained himself.
"My last friend after you was Jasper."
"… Point taken … counterpoint … there are other people you can talk to."
"Why would I do that? Everyone that I talk to for long periods of time that isn't you eventually betray me." The gem replied bluntly. "Everyone's just always out to use you in some way, and it's impossible to find someone you can trust."
"Believe me, I know exactly how you feel." Moon responded. "I can't imagine what you've been through, especially being in Rhombulus for so many years."
"That was somehow worse than being used as a device. He just wrote poetry about snakes and crystals." The gem shivered. "Steven has my eternal gratitude for many things, and I vow to keep his nativity in check."
"Oh really?" River had a somewhat bad feeling in his stomach building up when his wife smiled at that last part. "What were you to do if, say, a group dedicated to 'helping' everyone were to suddenly suspect our son of wrongdoing?"
"Drown them if they're able to breathe, poof them if they're gems, create a barrier to run from if it's an option." She replied instantly. "After which, research how to eliminate it."
"Lapis, we're trying to get you OUT of murderous mindsets!"
"Now now, sweetie, we should be open to every option available, we shouldn't be too closed minded about how we approach situations." Moon replied. "River, why don't you take Quartz to the side for a moment, I believe there's much more I can discuss with Lapis."
"Come along now." He pulled the boy out of the room. "Let's give them some time, this is the first genuine girls talk your mother has had since Rose."
"Were they this violent sounding back then too?"
"No … no this is much worse." He patted the boy. "… Not to say it isn't attractive."
"DAD!"
"Don't be like that, my boy, you can't tell me that you don't like it when Kelly gets a little rough in a fight." He sent a teasing look.
"...I like how…confident she can be…don't look at me like that!" He may not be blood, but he was a Johnathan at heart!
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"Yo Kiki, step out." Kiki watched as her sister came in with an apron for the first time in a while. "You've been working all week, let me take it for the day. Want cheese and pepperoni like the couple out there?"
"You're actually giving me the chance to take a day off? That's a rarity I'm going to take full advantage of." Taking off her own apron felt like lifting a dumbbell that was hanging off of her neck. "What's the special occasion?"
"Nothing really, school's about to end soon, I want to actually have money during summer break, and the blooming couple kind of puts me in a good mood." Her sister pointed to the curely haird boy and the girl with bushy green hair.
The boy had a simple bowtie on while the girl had a flower tied in her hair, along with a single candle in the middle of the table to make it 'fancy'. Yep. It definitely had all the signs of a first date. "I forgot how good pizza is." The boy spoke with a smile on his face. "It just warms your mouth and stomach."
"Second tastiest thing I ever tasted." The girl smiled, taking another bite.
"What's the first?"
"I'm looking at him." Honeymoon phase.
"Oh, well…you were pretty delicious too…better than a cookie cat." The boy replied somewhat awkwardly.
"It's like watching a trainwreck made of marshmallows and pillows." Jenny stated. "It's so awkward and adorably soft and diabetic inducing."
"I know, it's like that Marco guy dating Jackie, except with twice the innocence involved."
"So tell me, when did you actually start liking me?" The green haired girl asked her date. "Was I just so captivating on that first meeting you couldn't resist?" The girl teased.
"I mean … I kinda just liked you as a friend at first, you were the first fun person other than Star. And I didn't want to be with you cause you were with Tab." Oof, not a good thing to bring up an ex. "But, every time we've talked, I just felt…warmer with you. I could feel on top of the whole world just by standing in line next to you waiting in line for a hotdog."
"Well I feel warmer with you too." She kissed him on the head before taking another bite of pizza. "Now we get to be each other's blankets." Kiki felt like she could go into a sugar coma if she looked at this any more. "So, any plans for my brave knight in shining pink armor?"
"I'm not sure…the official knighthood ceremony is a while off…but…I've been thinking about asking Mom to let me go to school on Earth too." He answered while taking a bite of his own slice. "I come here often enough, and I don't even need to stay at someone's house, I have a lion to take me back and forth, and I'd still have time for the gem stuff too."
"With all the world-ending problems that pop up, do you really want to add homework to that list?" Jenny commented, bringing them breadsticks.
"Kind of, I don't know, I've never really done homework before." The boy responded. "Yeah, I love being able to protect people, but there's other stuff here too! There's whole schools you can go to here in this dimension to work on art, or music, or a bunch of other stuff! I just like the idea of having and trying a bunch of options."
"School's good if you want a job here." Kiki answered. "If you do, you should aim for classes of subjects you're aiming for."
"Well you do have a lovely set of pipes on you, maybe sometime in the future, we'll be seeing Mr.Universe the second playing on stage performing for everyone." The girl smiled. "Or since you're so good at talking people down, maybe you should be a diplomat or give being a therapist a shot."
"Don't even joke about that last one, you know how evil it is." Kiki was very concerned for the boy. "Maybe I could take up singing … Star is getting her princess song soon."
"Hmm … that could be fun." Kelly laughed. "This is fun for a first date." The girl scooted closer to the boy and wrapped her arms around his. "And I look forward to many more in the future." Super adorable.