Summary: Ah, marbles ... you hate them
"Easy … easy …" Greg Universe flipped the burger, spinning five times in the air, before landing perfectly on a bun. "New record! Five consecutive flips and sticks the landing!"
"A master of music and Barbecue, that's quite the impressive resume, Mr. Universe." Rafial Diaz, the father to his son's friend Marco, clapped along with his wife Angie. It was a bit out of nowhere being invited to one of these, but he wouldn't say no to being more involved with his son's life.
"Actually he set the last burger on fire." Steven spoke up. "But it's a major improvement, you learn fast."
"Yeah, I had to learn a lot of things quickly being on the road, mostly about where to park at night while you're trying to sleep inside of a van." The man laughed a little sheepishly. "Note for the future kids, a waffle iron can be your greatest ally against late night thieves."
"Absolutely." Angie Diaz, the mother, smiled. "There are plenty of kitchen appliances that can be used to fight off intruders or disturbing guests. Like the one time we caught Marco late night cooking and thought he was a burglar, we hit him with a frying pan by accident." She laughed.
"My face still creaks whenever I think about it." Said boy wasn't so keen on remembering.
"Those were great nachos that night, not going to lie." Steven's sister, Star, giggled. "So Mr. Universe, what was the strangest thing you saw during your whole 'soul searching' tours?"
"A town in Oregon getting devoured by the triangle on the one dollar bill." He recalled off the top of his head. "I got turned to stone for about a week. Then there was that town with a highschool full of zombies, Seabrook kids are lovely. Oh, and then there was Springfield, where the strangest thing of all was found … a laserdisc player." Such an elden device.
"And mom said there was no magic on this planet." Steven laughed out loud. "There's something magical happening in every dimension, you just got to know where to look for it."
"I'm more jealous of you guys. You have an entire multiverse to explore with no cares in the world." Greg laughed. "That's gotta be the most fun anyone's ever had."
"Fun, chaos, danger, all of those words are synonyms to us by this point." Kelly, the girl he was half certain his son had a crush on, spoke. "Then again, I'm from a world where ten punches to the nose can get you a five course meal and carriage ride."
Greg clicked his tongue and gave her the finger gun. "But nothing compares to the price of a hug."
"That actually gets you arrested." The puff ball living on the girl's head showed up. "Refusing a fight is basically the middle finger, and peaceful protesting of any kind can get you the death penalty."
"It's a pretty violent world, sure." Steven shrugged. "But that's just how life works. One minute you eat burgers with your family." It warmed his heart to hear that. "The next-" A small crash occurred in the backyard, all heads turning to see … a marble with legs? "Alien invaders crash the picnic."
"Damn it, I thought we got rid of these things!" Star shouted, before pulling out that wand of her. "Rainbow licorice flytrap!" A bright green light came out of it, putting the little machine in a gooey and sticky sweet mess of melted sugar.
"This is for the face shot, you robo jerk!" Kelly pulled out that pink sword in her hair and threw it from her spot on the bench, slicing through it instantly.
"So … what was that about space invaders?" He asked the young Diaz.
"Marco Ubaldo Diaz." The mother started. "Have you and Star been getting into any chicanery we should be aware of?"
"Nothing more than we usually do, Mom. We're just stopping a bunch of robots from using the warp pads from going wherever they want." The kid explained casually. "We've been dealing with this for about two weeks now, it doesn't take much to destroy them."
"That's your middle name, Ubaldo?" Star giggled. "M.U.D! Now that's a name everyone can remember. Look out people, MUD is coming at you with his mole, hoodie, and karate skills!"
"At least it's not as ridiculously long as Steven Quartz Universe Butterfly." The green puff muttered under his breath.
"Oh shut it, do you even have a last name!?" Steven shouted a bit aggressively.
"I had it legally changed to forest."
"Guys, I believe we were trying to enjoy a barbecue lunch." Kelly rolled her eyes and patted Tad back into her hair. "I'll get you a vegan burger afterwards."
"Thank you sweetie." He really must have been losing his touch, those two didn't sound like a couple at all.
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Marco walked out of the school, stretching. "You know Star, one of these days you're gonna have to really improve if you don't want summer school."
"Marco don't be ridiculous, who has school in the summer?" He honestly kept forgetting Star was from another dimension at some points.
"No, what I mean is that if you do bad enough in school, they'll force you to take school all throughout summer, that or you'll have to repeat the same school year and we won't share the same classes anymore."
"... What kind of nightmare prison are you running here people, are you trying to be the next St. Olgas!?"
"'No child left behind' is the motto, it's either learn the facts or suck away the fun." Marco couldn't help but give a light chuckle. "I can tutor you if you want to catch up, but that means you'll have to cut down on dimension hopping."
"I've already had to cut down on the dimensional hopping." Star grumbled. "With these … What are we calling them, marble babies?"
"Peridot called them Maintenance Drones."
"Whatever the green corn chip called them, they're coming again, and again, and again!" She slapped her forehead. "Is this karma for not taking Quartz seriously at first, because I lost five hours of sleep last night chasing one of them through a monster truck rally, and let me tell you, it's not as fun seeing them up close as it is from the stands!"
"At least you can do something." Marco groaned. "I miss the days where Ludo came at us with monsters, how am I supposed to fight a robot with my bare hands?"
"Have you ever thought of, maybe, picking up a weapon?"
"Nunchucks at one point, but I ended up with two black eyes trying to use them." Marco shivered. "Swords are Kelly's thing, even Steven has got the whole captain america shield throwing for him, not sure what weapon speaks to me."
"A good ole axe never hurts anybody…well, anybody that doesn't know how to use them right." A crash came in front of them, a marble bot twice the size of the usual ones came out from the rubble. "That's it, target practice!" Star shouted.
"I'm pretty sure being bigger only makes it harder for me!"
"Then just use it as a punching bag! This week has sucked corn, and I need something to vent on!" The wand started sparking green. "Lightning Cloudy BLOW AWAY!" A black cloud came out … looking sick. "Why does my wand keep going on the fritz!"
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Sadness, Rage, Hatred, Despair, Suffering, Pain. These fueled the wand. It took a while to comprehend, but Ludo could feel himself growing stronger with frustration, stronger with loss, stronger with agony. While he wouldn't have accepted this before, the woods … the woods taught him much. You can not take without sacrifice, you can not evolve without pain, and you can not take on foes … without spite.
He strolled into the bar, listening to the silence as all the rats stared at him. "Hello again … subjects." Ludo greeted as he made his way to the bar. The rats mocked him with every step he took, just like his parents did when he took his first steps as a little hatchling.
The vermin in charge, the rat with a bloodshot eye, snapped his fingers as he was once again served mud instead of porridge, their not so subtle way of telling him how he was lower than dirt. Ludo, half from sheer starvation, and half satisfaction from seeing their starved faces, drank it all in one go, holding out the bowl. "More please." Let's see how long they're willing to go, how low he got, and how high his magic will go.
The head rat dumped another bowl with a disgusted gline in his eyes. In his eagerness to finally get what he wanted, he struck back by throwing the bowl of mud into his face, sending him flying backwards and into the glass bowls.
With another snap, the surrounding rats gathered around him, just waiting for the okay from their boss, their leader, the one they held respect for, the one he humiliated. "Come on, then, give me everything you got!" He struck another one across the face, and it turned into a free for all brawl.
Ludo acknowledged his weakness, but that was now his greatest strength. Years of being beaten and humiliated by the Butterfly family made him used to the pain. He could take a punch, now the question remained how many he could take before it would break him, and bring him to where he needs to go.
They kicked him, over and over, he could feel something building. Why do you let them stomp on you? Because pain brings me power. Why don't you fight back?Because one must wait for the right moment to strike. What do you seek? To rule all with respect. … Then show them why you should.
With a primal scream, he let loose the might within himself. Green energy pulsing as the rats flew back. With a cackle, Ludo aimed the wand at the bloodshot eye'd rat, shooting the red mark and destroying it, leaving them with one good eye. He laughed as he swept his wand, destroying their entire bar in an instant. He showed them he could fight back, he showed them he could kill, and that none of them were safe.
Ludo walked to the one eyed rat, slowly as it trembled. "Kneel." He spoke plainly. With a slow nod of the head, the damn rodent did so. "You all work for me as of today. Now…give me some damn porridge."
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"Star! What the heck is wrong with Cloudy!?" Her brother shouted as her spell shot green lightning randomly. On the one hand, it fried half of the marbles, on the other hand, it was trying to fry the rest of them with it!
"Another spell messed up, alright!" She shouted. "Because this stupid wand is on the fritz annnnd rarely gives me the spell I want! Why won't you do what I say, don't I own you!?" She shook the object.
"How are we supposed to fight a cloud!?" Amethyst shouted, getting sucked up within a tornado. The Crystal Gems got dragged in with the town wide storm.
"This is why I hate fighting magic! There's hardly any structure or sense when trying to deal with it!" Pearl shouted, using her spear to plant herself within the ground. "It's like dealing with Crescenta all over again!"
"What was wrong with Crescenta!?" Star shouted, holding onto a lamp post.
"She made dozens of spells that were impractical at worst and nonsensical at best, and none of them actually helped anyone but herself!" The pale woman was struggling to hold on. "You actually have a significant resemblance to her actually, except your smile is less forced and ominous!"
"Oh great, I'm only slightly better than one of my crazy grandmas, that's EXACTLY what I wanted to hear today!" Star shot up more green magic at the cloud going crazy, but it only seemed to get sucked into its puffy body. "WHY! WON'T! YOU! GO! AWAY!?!" Star fired a long charge of green magic at it, and it only seemed to make it bigger.
"Star, I think your anger's only making Cloudy worse!" Kelly shouted, hugging a tree tightly. "You're literally feeding him power!"
"Then we just need to feed the bad vibes with good ones!" Tad shouted from the safe spot in her hair. "Someone, make Star happy!"
"Star, you're an awesome sister and we can SO ride a warnicorn later!" Steven shouted. "Every dimension is better because you're in it!"
"You are the best friend I could ever have! The only one I can count on to fight an entire army just to save me!" Marco said from the flagpole he was on.
"I have half the excitement I have in my life now because I got to know you!" Kelly said. "You're a totally rockin' rebel princess!"
"You took care of Steven when he was gone all those years!" Sapphire shouted, her and Ruby clutching onto each other. "He's just as bright and cheerful as I hoped he would be, and I know a lot of that is because he had you in his life!"
It was like the dark cloud inside of her mind suddenly disappeared, every ounce of stress suddenly went away with one happy tear falling down her face. "Good … vibe … sunny day!" Star shouted a pink beam, Cloudy screaming as he vanished to nothing. "Cloudy is gone … the Marbles are gone … it's over." Star sighed in relief … before a single marble the size of Mr Universe's van landed in front of them. "... It's never over …" She could see her wand spark green out of the corner of her eyes.
"Wait!" Steven yelled out, getting in front of her eyes. "I know this is going to sound crazy, but at this rate we're just going to be fighting these things in circles! So…why don't we just see where it's going?"
"Heck yeah!" Amethyst jumped onto the giant robot. "Gidde up buckaroo!"
"Steven..I…Who knows what it'll.." Pearl tried to shoot down the idea.
"We don't even know what this thing is fully, and we can't fight them forever." Ruby sighed. "Well we can, but I don't want to."
Star sighed. "Fine, but it better not be anywhere dangerous."
"I'm sure it'll be fine."
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"Why do I say the things I do?" Steven grumbled, putting on a magically made gas mask as they rode the giant marble straight into the Kindergarten. "I'm starting to think my words are cursed."
"So this is kindergarten? Marco, please tell me the human version of this place isn't so dank and gloomy?" Star asked out loud, wearing a pink and sparkly gas mask. "Because THIS here gives me more heebie jeebies than Saint O's."
"No, this is pretty much the darkest and most disturbing place on earth I have ever seen." Marco spoke at the sight of the dreary location.
"Jeeze, why don't you call my hole stupid while you're at it?" Amethyst grumbled.
"I'm sorry, I mean I was talking about, well there is a-"
"I'm just joshing your chain." The gem laughed, putting him in a noogie. "I know this place is the worst. To me, it was all the world I had until Steven's mom showed me everything I was missing out on."
"But why is it going here?" Pearl asked. "I searched the entire place, none of the injectors were active."
"Maybe you missed a spot?" Ruby suggested.
"We both know I wouldn't do such a thing as-"
"Everyone jump." Sapphire spoke bluntly. "It's about to go underground."
"Hah!" Kelly snorted as they all did so. The round shaped robot stood still in one place before it flattened and merged with the ground that it stood on, becoming a flat surface as it began sliding downward into the dirt below. "Guess we're taking the elevator downstairs."
"This … shouldn't be here." Pearl spoke with trepidation. "Their process is to work outward to the core, leaving no resource unwasted. This wouldn't be practical in a kindergarten … they're no holes either. What IS this place?"
They continued sliding down to a dark green area, the robot finally stopping. It dripped goo, forming a small marble that crawled to a handprint in the middle, shaping itself to fit. The entire cave began to glow bright, a screen popping up and revealing … "Hide!" Sapphire shoved them out of view from the familiar gem.
"Peridot." Steven muttered.
"Log Date Three Seven Nine, after several attempts one of the Plug Robonoids has finally connected with Prime Kindergarten. Established projection link with control room in facet 5. Proceeding to perform status check of Kindergarten"
"So there is something she wants to do with the Kindergarten." Pearl whispered in horror. "But what!?"
"The lady is right there." Star asked, peeking up from their hiding spot. "No better time to ask than directly at the source."
"Star no." Marco pulled her back down. "We don't know what she's capable of. Right now, we need a plan."
"She learned about earth from Lapis." Steven narrowed his eyes. "She didn't tell them about me, so to her, I'll just be a human that stumbled into this place." He began moving.
"Steven, we're not going to let you risk your life-"
"I have bubble powers, I'm fine." He waved off Pearl, getting out and walking even as they tried to talk him back.
"Now accounting for all injectors, taking note of the perimeter …" There was a click of the tongue. "This machinery is so outdated it's insulting."
"I don't know, to me, it's actually pretty fancy." He started with a joke, mainly to cover the nervousness he was feeling. The monitors turned to him, the curious face of Peridot gazing down on him. "Hey, I'm Steven."
Peridot stared at him for a moment, before going to the handheld screen they were probably using as a recorder. "Note, the Prime Kindergarden control room appears to have an infestation of a new organic identifying itself as 'Steven'." He didn't think there could ever be a voice that sounded more demeaning than Pearl's. "So tell me, have 'Steven's replaced 'humans' as the dominant life form on earth."
"Oh no, there's lots of humans around." He didn't want to give out names, in case they tried to track him down. "Like my Dad, my friend, the beach workers."
"Hmm, so they're still running around." The gem grumbled. "And are there any more of 'Steven's in the current area?"
"No, just me. I followed a marble that made a gaping hole in the ground so … you might want to fix that next time?" The gem raised an eyebrow, so he hoped it was good criticism. "What brings you here?"
" Just finishing a project that's taken over 5,000 years to complete. Making sure to clear away any problems." Those giant floating hands were being hovered over his body, forming a fist that was no doubt going to crush him if he didn't block it.
"Mega Narwhal Blast!" Star shouted as the majestic sea creature countered the attack. "Not today, you overgrown slice of key lime pie!"
"What the, you said you were the only 'Steven' around here!" Peridot growled.
"I'm no Steven! I'm Star Butterfly, and I'm not going to let you hurt a single hair on his head!" She shouted, cocking her wand menacingly.
"Butterfly …" Peridot's eyes widened, the screen zooming in. "Those face marks, you're a Mewman!" They laughed. "Oh the Diamonds will be pleased, we finally have a lead on Mewni!"
"And we've officially lost all subtlety." Ruby groaned as she and the others shot themselves into sight.
"Gems!?" Peridot shouted. "But the Red Eye never reported any!"
"That's cause we blew it up!" Kelly shouted, pulling out the sword.
"You … you're the ones that have been destroying my Robonoids!" They shouted. "You're the ones that shot that laser that destroyed the Repitof Colony!" She pulled out Marco's phone. "You're the ones that communicated with this complicated secret message!" 'Space Unicorn' began playing. "TELL ME WHAT IT MEANS!"
"It's supposed to be Ironic!" Marco kicked the giant hand to the side.
"You're never going to get away with whatever you've been planning!" Pearl aimed her spear at the monitor. "Because we are the Crystal Gems! We've been fighting for earth for thousands of years, and by the name of Rose Quartz, we'll fight for 5,000 more!"
The gem on screen growled. "I'll tell them about you, and-" The screen was broken by the spear, Peridot being silenced.
"That…could've gone better." Steven sighed.
"Homeworld could be sending reinforcements any day now." Pearl panicked. "We're doomed!"
"If you keep panicking like that, we will be." Star rolled her eyes. "Weird how she mentioned Mewni. I didn't know gems knew about other dimensions."
"It's..a long story we don't have time for." Pearl rolled her eyes. "For now, all we can do is prepare for the worst and hope for the best."
"Wait, if she didn't know other gems were here…then that means Lapis didn't tell them about you guys, even if she hated your guts!" Steven laughed. "Lapis is good!"
"Debatable, but let's not focus on that now." Ruby said.
"Hey, didn't she mention something about a 'Repitof' colony or something?" Marco asked.
"It was a planet colonized by Homeworld … but there are few things that could destroy something on that scale … other than the …" Sapphire paused. "Triple Rose Cannon."
"Hah, you guys destroyed a homeworld colony by accident!" Amethyst laughed. "You were Crystal Gems before you met us!"
"Heck yeah!" Star shouted. "We beat them before and we can do it again! We'll take them on no matter how many show up!"
"We'll save the day!" Steven shouted into the air. "And if you think we can't, we'll always find a way!"