Chapter 22 - Chapter 22

Fear, it seemed like a very unfamiliar emotion. Since her debut, Li Ling had never really been afraid of anyone. Fear was useless; it wouldn't solve any problems. She was very clear about this. However, the actress raised her head, looked at the young man in front of her, and couldn't help but swallow silently. "Director, you're really scaring me like this," she said sincerely. "Really." Jin Jingyao's expression was indifferent, "I thought you weren't afraid of anyone." Although his tone was so calm, there was a sense of impending storm. Li Ling forced a smile. She could hear the accusatory tone and knew he was still holding a grudge about her previous defiance. To be honest, she also felt she had gone too far. What could she do? Kneel on the spot, perhaps. Unexpectedly, before she had a chance to kneel, Director Jin bent down first, very naturally smoothing out the wrinkled corner of her costume from the shoot. The makeup artist stood by, ready to step forward and touch up the lead actress's makeup. Jin Jingyao turned around and took the powder puff from the makeup artist's hand. Li Ling: ? Was he taking it too far? She looked at him, a bit dazed, not knowing whether to say "Thank you, Director" or "There's no need." Missing the opportunity, she could only watch as the young man leaned in closer. His gaze was calm and methodical, falling on her face. "What are you staring at?" he said impatiently, "Close your eyes." Li Ling said, "Director, you're really scaring me like this." Jin Jingyao: "Close your mouth too." "...Okay, Director." Darkness deprived her of sight but amplified her other senses, such as hearing and touch. Therefore, Li Ling could clearly feel the gentle pad of his finger touching her eyelid. The pad moved away, then came back. Her eyelashes fluttered, trembling involuntarily with his movements, like a quivering, immobile butterfly. The unfamiliar, warm fingers slowly traced her nose bridge, cheekbones, and then her jaw. The delicate butterfly wings followed this hand, scattering glowing phosphorescence all the way. Turning her face into a silent nocturnal garden. For some reason, in this almost eerie gentleness, a secret dread arose in Li Ling's heart. She still remembered not long ago, Jin Jingyao was a socially anxious young director with severe physical contact issues. When she cornered him in the restroom, he was so awkward, he didn't even dare to lift his head. He wouldn't have dared to touch her face. But now. He had learned so quickly, he could practically surpass his teacher. A man helping a woman with makeup was inherently an extremely ambiguous act, akin to fulfilling a hidden Pygmalion complex. He wanted to sculpt her, paint her, "complete" her. So what did this mean? Li Ling recalled the night they argued, when she deliberately held his hand. She thought physical contact was his Achilles' heel. Perhaps... this was his retaliation. He was demonstrating to her. He was no longer afraid of her at all. At that moment, Li Ling suddenly heard the photographer say, "Director, I've got the shot." Jin Jingyao: "Hmm." He stood up without any reluctance. Li Ling: ? She opened her eyes in confusion, just in time to see a huge camera lens. The photographer helpfully explained, "The director said the last take wasn't good, so he added a shot." Li Ling: "I see." She actually breathed a sigh of relief, feeling as if she had escaped a dire situation. The renowned director Jin, who was only putting on a show, immediately turned cold and indifferent as soon as the camera stopped rolling, even leaving her makeup half done. Li Ling looked at herself in the mirror, one side of her face perfect, the other side with smudged makeup. She turned her head and said to the makeup artist with resentment, "Didn't you say your director has OCD?" The makeup artist looked at her with admiration, "Yes! Look, one side is done and the other isn't, how symmetrical! It's practically the golden ratio! Truly worthy of a director!" Li Ling: "..." - The prolonged filming. They hadn't left the room all day. From sunrise to sunset, Zhou Jing stayed by A-Ling's side, helping her with everything. Even when she needed to use the bathroom, he personally carried her to the toilet. In the dimly lit bathroom, A-Ling looked at him coldly, "Why don't you just help me take off my pants too?" Zhou Jing really did kneel down, his knees touching the cold tiles, his upper body almost pressing against her empty pant legs. Before he could touch her, A-Ling grabbed his hair fiercely and screamed, "Get out!" He obediently stood up, expressionless. Before standing up, he even nuzzled her palm like a docile dog. A-Ling cursed him "disgusting" once more. In the mirror, the man's eyelids drooped, his lowered gaze forming a heavy gray mist. Five minutes later, he walked back into the bathroom, carefully washed her hands, and then carried her out. Unlike usual, most of the shots that day were long takes with fixed camera positions. No one called "cut," and the filming continued as if it were a never-ending stage play. Li Ling became somewhat dazed as the filming went on. Because of her injured ankle and several days in a wheelchair, she personally experienced the many constraints of living as "A-Ling" in this world. It felt like the whole world had turned into a massive obstacle, and she had only one leg and an old car emitting black smoke, making it hard to move an inch. But in Zhou Jing's basement, everything became easy again, like a light, floating bubble. She could go anywhere she wanted, do anything she wanted. Zhou Jing was her hands, her feet, her eyes. Jin Jingyao's performance was so natural that it left no trace. Outside the scene, he wouldn't even help Li Ling finish her makeup, but within the scene, he was so patient, meticulous, and considerate. Many details not mentioned in the script were performed one by one. At first, Li Ling could still spare some effort to appreciate his acting, but later she was deeply drawn into the role by him. The whole room was filled with cameras, and many staff members stood nervously outside the frame. But his eyes were always only on her. She was confined in his gaze, like a light, floating kite. She didn't need legs, flying freely in the sky, as long as he didn't let go, she could forever enjoy safe freedom. At dusk, Zhou Jing prepared dinner and brought it to the dining table. A-Ling, throwing a tantrum, refused to come and eat, so he brought the bowl to the bedside, holding her in his arms and feeding her bite by bite. His thumb gently rubbed her lips, a very tender gesture. Despite the anger in her eyes, A-Ling's body had already formed a conditioned response, and she silently opened her mouth. The spoon pried open her white teeth. The porridge he had blown cool slid warmly down her throat. It felt like she swallowed his breath along with it. She was so obedient, he should be very satisfied. His palm stroked her back contentedly, moving upward, wiping the sweat from the back of her neck. It was like mending a worn-out doll. Li Ling recalled the dinner a few days ago, the bowl of cold porridge she never touched. Now A-Ling drank it for her. No matter what, she ultimately had to accept everything he gave. The golden sunset poured into the room, enveloping the two embracing figures in a sea of gold. She lifted her eyes. The young man's gaze remained calm, devoid of desire, without any hint of eroticism. Yet, his treatment of her was so meticulous, gentle, and patient. A gentleness so invasive, it was almost eerie. She was eating. Or perhaps she was being swallowed by an endless sea. - As soon as the scene was finished, Li Ling immediately broke free from Jin Jingyao's embrace. The two actors hadn't said anything yet, but the assistant director asked with some confusion, "Teacher Li, has A-Ling already fallen in love with Zhou Jing?" Li Ling was startled and asked why he thought so. The assistant director said, "It just seems like she's being too obedient. Given A-Ling's character, if Zhou Jing forced her to drink porridge and she didn't want to, wouldn't they have a fight?" "No, they wouldn't," Li Ling said. "They can't fight anymore." "Why not?" She glanced at Jin Jingyao, who had already stood up and left, and replied in a tone like a student handing in homework to a teacher, "Because A-Ling is afraid of him." She suddenly understood the meaning of "fear." If there was someone who could control her completely, both body and mind. Even to the extent of controlling her stomach, her tongue. Someone who could give her a sense of security but could also leave at any moment. How could she not be afraid of him? The assistant director suddenly understood: "I see, at this stage, A-Ling's feelings for Zhou Jing are fear." "When will she fall in love with him?" he asked again. Li Ling smiled, "I don't know either." The assistant director sighed and said, "Alright, Zhou Jing still has to work hard." He glanced at the script again and said somewhat wistfully, "I thought by this point in the story, their kiss scene would come naturally." The cameraman passed by: "What? Finally, a kiss scene?" He rubbed his hands excitedly, "Great, we've finally reached this point!" - Yes, according to the schedule, they were about to film A-Ling and Zhou Jing's first kiss scene. Ironically, despite several days of filming, the relationship between the actress and the director hadn't thawed, while A-Ling and Zhou Jing were becoming increasingly intimate. The camera is very straightforward; starting filming in this state, they might not even get through the first shot. Li Ling still wanted to apologize to Jin Jingyao, but he didn't give her the chance to speak. If Li Ling didn't know about his workaholic nature, she would have thought he was deliberately avoiding her. However, it might not be just for this scene. In any case, among all the directors Li Ling had ever met, Jin Jingyao was already an exceptionally good person. When she got hurt, he took her to the hospital. When she was slandered, he quietly found a public relations team. For the first time, she realized that when trouble arose, she didn't have to face it alone; someone would stand in front of her. Is this what a sense of security feels like? But this unfamiliar sense of security almost made her feel confused and anxious. Li Ling couldn't help but open Weibo. The last time she chatted with 9787532754335 was a while ago. She hadn't checked their conversation for a long time and didn't know that during this time, 9787532754335 had been sending her photos of the starry sky every night. Very persistent. Very heartwarming. But because the photos were so well taken, so high-definition, it was hard to believe that even one of them was taken by him. They were probably all found on Baidu. Or maybe on Today's Headlines; she heard that middle-aged and elderly people prefer Today's Headlines. In any case, it was very touching. Li Ling: [Rose][Rose][Rose] 9787532754335 usually doesn't respond to such meaningless emojis. Li Ling asked again, "Have you watched Qin Yi's live stream?" 9787532754335 replied instantly, "Who is Qin Yi." A very reassuring answer. Indeed, middle-aged and elderly people definitely don't bypass the firewall, let alone go on foreign websites. Li Ling: "It's nothing, just an unimportant person." She thought for a moment and continued, "I just wanted to tell you, no matter what he says online, it's all made up. Don't believe it." 9787532754335: "Okay." 9787532754335: "I believe you." Li Ling almost cried. She really loved her fans. 9787532754335: "Is the filming going well recently?" Li Ling suddenly felt a bit guilty. In her impression, 9787532754335 had always been a rather conservative and old-fashioned person. He would even nag for a long time if she wore too little while filming. She didn't know how he would react to her having to film a kissing scene. She tentatively said, "A bit nervous." "Maybe I'll have to film some more intense scenes soon." 9787532754335: "Good luck." "These are sacrifices an actor should make. I believe in you." Li Ling: ? Did you get hacked, brother? Just then, the door to the workspace opened. The main creative team stretched and walked out, cheering for the end of the day. Usually, Director Jin would stay and work overtime for a while. Which meant he might be alone in there now. The opportunity had come. Li Ling gestured "shh" to the others and wheeled herself in. The thick carpet muffled the sound of the wheelchair's movement. She silently stood behind Jin Jingyao. She had always been curious about what Director Jin watched on the monitor every day after work, and how he could watch for so long. With a quick glance, she seemed to see a close-up of her own face, magnified to the point of losing all aesthetic appeal. Was it necessary to zoom in so much? Even the fine hairs on her face were visible. Before she could look closer, Jin Jingyao had already turned off the screen. "Do you need something?" he asked expressionlessly, adding, "Don't look around." Li Ling felt inexplicably puzzled. Looking at the monitor was perfectly reasonable, how could it be considered looking around? With such a temper, he must still be mad at her. She suggested he drink some herbal tea to calm down. Li Ling had already decided to add herbal tea and her ten-yuan shampoo to her shopping cart to give to him, so she obediently said: "Nothing much, Director, I just wanted to thank you. Am I disturbing you? If you have more work to do, I'll leave." Jin Jingyao stared at her without commenting on whether she was disturbing him, only asking in a harsh tone, "Thank me for what." "For the Qin Yi matter," she said. "I'm sorry, Director, for causing you trouble." Jin Jingyao: "You know it's troublesome." Alright, he's putting on airs. Fortunately, Li Ling was prepared. She had specifically searched for 180 "apology tips to leaders" on Weibo and memorized them word for word. Her mouth dry, she said a lot, and added, "I shouldn't have said those things to you last night either. It was really rude. I'm sorry, Director, I apologize." She felt quite uneasy, not knowing if he accepted her apology. He looked at her deeply, his expression still unpredictable. After a long time, his calm voice finally said, "And?""Anything else?" "What else could there be?" Li Ling looked at him eagerly. "If you're still not happy, should I let you slap me too?" Jin Jingyao said coldly, "I'm not a violent maniac." Li Ling: "..." She suspected he was hinting at her again. There was evidence everywhere. She racked her brain. "And... what Qin Yi said isn't true. I never had anything with that old director Bi Deng. It's just his filthy eyes seeing people as dirty. Pah." She took the opportunity to insult her former colleague, feeling satisfied. The current boss was unmoved, not satisfying. Li Ling: "And, not just him, I haven't had anything with any director... Since I started acting, I've never had anything with any director. Really, Director, I'm a person of principles. I never mess around with people in the industry." She spoke with such conviction, betting her entire career, thinking Director Jin should be satisfied now. Unexpectedly, he said somewhat sarcastically, "It's okay with people outside the industry then." Li Ling was stunned for a moment, feeling that this question was a bit too personal, but she still replied with high moral standards, "No, Director, the movie isn't even finished yet. How would I have time to think about these things?" She swore, if Jin Jingyao dared to ask her, "So you'll have time to think about it after the movie is finished?" She would definitely repay kindness with enmity and strangle him to death. (Not a violent maniac) Jin Jingyao didn't say that. What he said was even more excessive. She still underestimated him. "This movie is going to break your principles. It must be hard for you," Director Jin asked her. The last light of day slipped away, making the young director's face as calm as a lake at dusk. Shadows spread outward along the ripples on the lake, gradually engulfing her as well. His gaze was so deep it was almost unsettling. Li Ling was stunned for a moment before she realized what principle he was talking about. She never had anything with directors. Now she was about to. She was about to kiss the director.