### **Chapter 3: The Quiet Watcher**
Zaryn had emotions. It was a fact, buried deep beneath the layers of apathy he wore like armor. People thought he didn't care because he rarely showed it, but the truth was, Zaryn felt everything. He just didn't see the point in expressing it. What good were feelings if you couldn't do anything about them? They were like shadows—always there, always looming, but never solid enough to grasp.
And lately, the shadows seemed to gather more frequently around Nadia.
He could see it in the way she moved, how her fingers would fidget with the hem of her hoodie when she thought he wasn't looking. How she stared off into the distance, her gaze lost in something only she could see. It was subtle, but Zaryn was nothing if not observant. People always underestimated him, mistaking his silence for ignorance, his detachment for indifference. But Zaryn noticed things. He noticed everything.
He wasn't oblivious to the way Nadia looked at him sometimes, the way her voice would falter when she asked him certain questions. He could feel the tension between them, the unspoken words hanging in the air like a storm waiting to break.
But he didn't know how to address it. How could he? Emotions were messy, unpredictable. They didn't follow logic, didn't fit into neat little boxes like everything else in his life. And love… well, love was something Zaryn had never really understood. He'd read about it, seen it in movies, watched people fawn over each other in the hallways at school, but it always seemed distant. Unreal. Like something that happened to other people, not him.
He wondered, sometimes, what it would feel like. Love. Real love. Not the shallow, surface-level infatuation he saw from everyone else. But something deeper, something that actually meant something. Was it overwhelming? Did it consume you, the way he'd seen it do to others? Or was it more subtle, like a slow-burning fire that warmed you from the inside out?
Zaryn didn't know. He'd never had the chance to find out.
As he sat across from Nadia, her voice barely more than a whisper in the dimly lit room, he found himself wondering if she felt it—this thing he couldn't quite put a name to. There was something different about the way she acted around him lately. Something tense, something fragile. It wasn't like her to be so quiet, so introspective. Normally, Nadia had this unspoken confidence about her, a sharpness that matched his own. But now, it was like the edges were blurring.
He could feel it, the weight of whatever she wasn't saying pressing down on the space between them. But Zaryn wasn't the kind of person to pry. If she wanted to talk about it, she would. And if not, well, that was her business. He wasn't about to make it his responsibility to fix whatever was going on inside her head.
Even so, he couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong.
"Are you gonna say anything?" Nadia's voice broke the silence, cutting through his thoughts like a blade. Her tone was light, but Zaryn could hear the tension beneath it, the way she tried to mask whatever was simmering just beneath the surface.
He looked at her, his eyes scanning her face for a moment before he shrugged. "What's there to say?"
Nadia huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. "You always do this."
"Do what?"
"Act like nothing matters. Like you're not even here half the time." Her voice was sharper now, and Zaryn could see the frustration flicker in her eyes.
He blinked, not entirely sure how to respond. It wasn't that he didn't care. It was just that caring… wasn't his first instinct. "I'm here."
"Physically, maybe," she muttered, staring down at her hands. "But sometimes it's like you're a million miles away."
Zaryn leaned back in his chair, folding his arms over his chest. "And what do you want me to do about that?"
She looked up at him, her eyes narrowing. "I don't know, Zaryn. Maybe *feel* something for once?"
He didn't flinch, didn't react to the words. But inside, they struck a chord. Because the truth was, Zaryn *did* feel things. He just didn't know how to show it. And honestly, he wasn't sure he wanted to. Emotions were dangerous. They made people irrational, unpredictable. That wasn't something Zaryn wanted to deal with.
"I feel things," he said quietly, his voice barely above a murmur. "Just because I don't show it doesn't mean they're not there."
Nadia scoffed, shaking her head. "Yeah, sure. I'll believe that when I see it."
Zaryn frowned, staring at her. "You think I don't notice when something's bothering you? Because I do. I just don't think it's my place to ask about it."
Nadia blinked, clearly caught off guard by his words. She opened her mouth to respond, then closed it again, her expression shifting into something Zaryn couldn't quite read. He wasn't used to seeing her like this—vulnerable. It made him uncomfortable, like he was seeing something he wasn't supposed to.
She sighed, running a hand through her hair. "I don't get you, Zaryn. One minute, you're acting like nothing matters, and the next, you say something like that."
He shrugged again, his gaze flickering to the window. The rain had stopped, but the sky was still gray, the world outside feeling as heavy and muted as ever. "I'm not complicated. People just think I am because I don't talk much."
Nadia stared at him for a moment, her eyes searching his face like she was trying to find something hidden beneath the surface. "I don't think you're complicated," she said quietly. "I just think you're… closed off."
Zaryn didn't respond to that. He wasn't sure what to say. Nadia wasn't wrong. He *was* closed off. But that was just how he was. It wasn't something he did on purpose; it was just easier that way. Easier to keep people at arm's length than to let them in and risk whatever mess came with it.
"Do you ever wonder what it's like?" he asked suddenly, his voice soft, barely audible in the quiet room.
Nadia tilted her head, frowning. "What?"
"Love." The word felt foreign on his tongue, like it didn't quite belong in his mouth. But now that it was out, he couldn't take it back. "Do you ever wonder what it's like to… feel it? For real?"
Nadia blinked, clearly not expecting the question. For a moment, she was silent, her eyes searching his face as if trying to figure out if he was serious. When she spoke again, her voice was softer, more hesitant. "Yeah. Sometimes."
Zaryn stared at her, his mind racing. He didn't know why he asked. It wasn't like him to dig into things like this. But the question had been haunting him for a while now, lingering in the back of his mind like a shadow he couldn't shake.
"What do you think it feels like?" he asked, his voice low.
Nadia shrugged, her gaze shifting to the floor. "I don't know. I think… maybe it's different for everyone. But for me…" She trailed off, biting her lip. "I think it's probably something that scares the hell out of you. But you want it anyway. Like, no matter how much it might hurt, you can't help but want it."
Zaryn was quiet, processing her words. He wasn't sure if he understood. Love, to him, seemed like something distant, something that didn't apply to him. But the way Nadia talked about it… there was a weight to her words that made him wonder if maybe—just maybe—it wasn't as far off as he thought.
"Have you ever felt it?" he asked, his voice barely more than a whisper.
Nadia's breath hitched, and for a split second, Zaryn saw something flicker in her eyes. Something raw, something real. But just as quickly as it appeared, it was gone, replaced by her usual mask of indifference.
"I don't know," she said quietly, her voice tight. "Maybe."
Zaryn didn't push. He wasn't good at pushing people, at digging deeper when things got complicated. But he couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to Nadia's answer than she was letting on.
And for the first time in a long time, Zaryn found himself wondering if maybe—just maybe—there was more to this whole thing between them than he realized.
Maybe he wasn't as detached as he thought.
Maybe he was just afraid to admit it…