Chapter 1
What is it?
"...Please... grant me some merit..."
"..."
"You... can see me, right..." The raspy, bone-chilling voice, like someone who had been deprived of water for months, asked me as I wandered aimlessly.
"...Sigh, I'm so hungry. What should I eat?"
I ignored the question from the voice in front of me, pretending to talk to myself. The reason? I accidentally made eye contact with a pale woman whose face was mangled, her flesh torn and ragged, and now she'd been following me, asking for merit for several minutes. So, I had to pretend to look at the nearby food stalls, performing a little charade to escape.
"..." It stared at my face for quite some time until it was sure, then it walked right through my body. Not long after, I heard the same question again behind me.
"Please... grant me some merit..."
Cold... That thing just walked through me, and now I've got goosebumps all over!
"Do you think Professor Supin will cancel class today?"
"Cancel class? Yeah right, the world would have to end first. Seniors who graduated years ago still say she's never canceled a class."
At the sound of their conversation, the two of them burst out laughing, completely unaware that something was staring at them, something they couldn't perceive at all.
Sigh... I'm going to go crazy...
It's exhausting having to constantly pretend I can't see them. Sometimes it causes a lot of trouble for me because I can't tell who's human and who's a ghost. But that one earlier? I was a million percent sure. When someone's body is that mangled, dragging their intestines across the ground, there's no way they're human.
I take a bit of pride in myself that I've gotten so used to seeing these disgusting things, like today. It took me years to get this numb to it.
If I could make one wish, I'd wish that I never had to see them at all—not even a shadow of them.
I don't know when exactly I started seeing them, but if I had to think back, it was probably sometime in late elementary school...
Being able to see them is completely useless. In fact, it's been the biggest negative in my life. It's affected me so much that I absolutely loathe it.
"..."
When I arrived at the classroom, I chose my usual seat. At this moment, no one else was in the room but me.
Maybe I came too early... But even if people were here, I'd still be alone.
The reason? It's because I can see them. Sometimes they look so human that I accidentally talk to them, but in the eyes of others, it must look like I'm some weirdo, standing there talking to myself. Well, yeah... I'm alone. The other person isn't human like me.
That's the first reason why people distance themselves from me. The rest is my own doing. It can't be helped... Since I was a kid, I never had any human friends, so I don't know how to approach or act around them...
As time passed, I became too afraid to talk to anyone. I don't know how to act, and I'm never sure if the other person is human like me or not. Sure, it's easy to spot the ones with mangled bodies like the one earlier, but the ones who look 100% normal? Those are the ones who give me the most trouble. If they don't walk through me, I wouldn't even know they were ghosts.
It might sound pathetic, but now, I'm a third-year university student and I still don't have a single real human friend. I had hoped I'd be able to fit in with others, but in the end, the only people I interact with are group project partners—and we hardly talk.
"Sigh..."
"What's wrong? You've been sighing for a while."
"It's nothing... Just the same old thoughts, that's all..." I turned sharply toward the source of the question.
Wait a minute... Who is she? Since when has she been sitting next to me?!?
Hmm... I don't recognize her at all. Even though I don't have any friends, I still remember there's no one this cute in this class. Strange...
"Oh my gosh! You replied!! Yay!! Finally, someone talked to me!!"
"Replied...?!?"
The moment I finished speaking, she, who was smiling next to me, floated up above my head as if she were a balloon filled with gas, bouncing around because she was so happy I answered her.
"..."
Arghhh!!! It's clear now!!! I accidentally replied to a ghost. What do I do?!? What do I do!!!
I'm doomed!!!
...Calm down, me.
Just pretend I was talking to the air. That'll do the trick. These things are dumb. Play it cool for a bit, and she'll leave soon enough. This isn't the first time something like this has happened to me.
The girl, who had been jumping up and down above my head, floated back down to sit beside me, tilting her head with a curious expression, clearly struggling to hide her smile.
"You really did talk to me just now, didn't you! Finally, someone spoke to me!"
Her cheerful voice and lively demeanor were different from most ghosts, but I still didn't trust that she wouldn't harm me. So, I waited a moment after her question and then ignored her, continuing my terrible performance.
"...Sigh, thinking about the same old things is so boring."
"Huh? Hey! Can you hear me? Pay attention to me! Hey! Hey!" The brown-haired girl tried to get my attention, moving from my right side to hang on the front edge of my desk, staring at me with her light brown eyes.
Ugh... She's blocking my view like this. How am I supposed to avoid her now?!
"..." I kept pretending to stare straight ahead, looking directly at her face.
Why am I staring at this girl? If I look away, it'll seem too obvious!
...But is this girl really a ghost? She looks way too good to be one. Honestly, if someone told me she was an angel, I'd believe it.
Her skin was pale, but not like the typical pale of ghosts. She didn't have any grotesque wounds or anything creepy showing at all. Her eyes were bright, far too lively for someone who's supposed to be dead. And those pink lips... They looked better than mine do in the mornings. Not to mention her cheerful demeanor. She wore a student uniform just like me...
Before she died, she must have been a real cutie. Even now, as a ghost, she's still incredibly cute...
Agh!!! Ran! What the heck are you thinking, sitting here critiquing a ghost's appearance!
"Wow, I'm so sleepy..." I pretended to say, then slumped down as if to nap.
"...Don't fake it! You were staring right at me earlier! You really can see me!! Why are you ignoring me? Hey! Answer me!!" Her bright voice started to grow louder, mixed with frustration.
"Oh my, it's late! When's the professor going to start teaching? If they're late, they'll give us all Fs, haha." I pretended to complain, glancing at my watch.
"Hey, Ran talking to herself again."
"Creepy."
"..." I continued pretending to sleep, ignoring the voices of my classmates.
Their whispers stung a little, but it's not like I haven't heard this stuff before. I've been hearing it for years...
Creepy? Scary? Disgusting? Yeah... I've heard all those words. Even worse ones, too. But I'm not mad about it. What can I do? They can't see what I see.
Even though I've never done anything to them, they still choose to fear me.
"…Hup." I pretended to sit up normally and stretched lazily after hearing people start to walk into the classroom.
The troublemaker who's making me talk to myself today? The ghost girl in front of me, frowning. She hasn't gone anywhere yet, and her puffed-up, pouty cheeks are almost irresistibly cute. If I could touch her, I'd probably pinch those round cheeks…
Wait a second, Ran! You can't find ghosts cute! What's wrong with me?!
"…Fine. If you're going to ignore me like this." The brown-haired girl stood up and stared at me with eyes that had changed. The wide-eyed look that was almost adorable a moment ago had turned into lifeless eyes—like a vengeful spirit. It made me uneasy.
"…!!!" In the blink of an eye, her pale face was right in front of mine, so close I could feel her breath. The sudden proximity made me jump, ruining my act completely.
"You can see me, right?!" Her scream hit me full in the face, making my heart pound like crazy.
Damn it! This is even scarier than the last ghost…
She didn't have her insides spilling out or blood flowing everywhere like in some grotesque horror movie, but somehow, I felt more scared than if she did.
"Ahh!!" I yelped and jumped again when she reached out and grabbed both my shoulders. That shouldn't be possible.
"…You can touch me?"
Wait a minute!! What the hell is going on? How is she able to touch me?! Normally, even if they realize I can see them, they can't lay a hand on me. The worst they do is give me the chills with a cold breeze or a gross, vomit-inducing smell… But this? This is the worst.
"So… you really can see me, huh? Heh heh heh." She grinned with satisfaction, her voice dripping with sinister pleasure. The dark, eerie smile and those hollow eyes sent a chill through my entire body.
"Ran…"
"…Shit!!"
"…!!? Calm down, it's just me, Kan. Are you okay? You don't look too good…"
I slowly turned to look at my classmate, who had just grabbed my shoulder. After making sure it was indeed a real human being, I sighed softly in relief.
"No… I'm fine, really."
"…If you say so." Kan tried to smile at me, though her eyes didn't match her mouth.
Those eyes… she didn't believe me at all.
"Did you bring the homework?"
"Of course I did." Kan responded to a groupmate and sat down at the empty desk next to mine, which had been the seat of the brown-haired girl. Or rather, the ghost from earlier.
It seemed like there weren't enough seats for Kan's group, so they decided to sit near me… But where did that ghost go?
She's gone…?
Where did she disappear to?
Good riddance. And don't come back, ever…
"Sorry I'm late, there was an accident near my house," the professor's voice broke my focus on the spooky stuff. "Anyway, let's get started; we've wasted enough time."
"Are you sure, professor? Weren't you just sleeping in?"
"What do you take me for? You cheeky kid."
"Hahaha!"
Most of the class laughed at the playful banter between the professor and my classmate.
Well, everyone except me, because I didn't get what was so funny.
"Alright, open to chapter 13…"
The professor began without delay, and everything continued as usual. As if nothing creepy had happened earlier. There was no sign of that brown-haired girl. Not that she had a shadow in the first place…
If this were any other time, I wouldn't be zoning out. But that ghost from earlier left me too unsettled to focus on the lesson. I couldn't stop thinking about how she had touched me.
What does that mean?
I never really bothered to figure out how to stop seeing ghosts. I guess I'd gotten too complacent, thinking they couldn't harm me physically.
But now… now that I know they can touch me, my body trembles in fear, terrified that other ghosts might be able to hurt me too.
"Aranya, are you here?"
Ugh, my hands are shaking. I'm scared. I have no idea when they'll show up to haunt me again. Normally, even if they know I can see them, they can't do much more than scare me until I do some kind of offering or until they get bored. I've never actually been physically harmed by a ghost before.
Maybe I've only ever dealt with low-level spirits…
And she was some sort of higher-level ghost…
"Ran, the professor's calling you."
"Huh? Oh! Sorry, I'm here." I quickly raised my hand after being nudged.
"What were you daydreaming about, student? Anyway, looks like everyone's here. You've got 20 minutes left to finish the exercises. Hurry up and submit them. If you don't understand something, feel free to ask." After finishing his words, the professor sat down and began working at the front of the class.
Kan kept looking at me, then spoke with a curious expression.
"Ran, you're acting weirder than usual today."
Weirder than usual? So you mean I'm always weird?! This girl…
Sigh Whatever, weird is weird. But for now, I have to rely on her. She's the only one who talks to me and pulls me into the group when there's work. It's best to avoid causing trouble.
"…Yeah, maybe I'm just feeling a bit unwell." I brushed off her concern and turned my attention to the exercises that needed to be finished before class ended.
Ugh, what's this question again? Oh, right… I've read about this before…
I was too distracted by the brown-haired ghost earlier, so I didn't listen to a word the professor said. Good thing I skimmed through the material beforehand.
"…This answer is wrong." Someone's finger pointed to the question I had just answered.
"Wrong? Oh, you're right. Thanks… Shit!" I cursed under my breath and jumped as soon as I saw her standing there, pointing at my paper, smiling like a normal person.
Kan, sitting beside me, startled at my sudden outburst. Luckily, the classroom was filled with noise, so my shout was drowned out. "What's wrong, Ran?! You scared me!"
"Nothing, nothing… just a bug."
"I'm not a bug!" The ghost girl in front of me protested with a huff.
"Five minutes left, everyone! Stop chatting and get to work! I won't wait if you don't finish on time," the professor shouted, trying to speak over the class chatter.
What?! Wait! I still have two more questions to finish!!
Forget the ghost for now...
'Ringggggg!'
"Finally... It's over," I sighed the moment class ended and my assignment had been successfully handed to the professor. Exhaustion overwhelmed me, as if I'd just run ten laps around the field. I didn't even have the energy to pack up my stuff like everyone else.
But... I couldn't leave yet. Not until I was sure the woman standing in front of me wouldn't follow me home.
"Aranya, aren't you going home?" the professor asked, noticing that I was sitting alone in the room.
"In a bit," I replied.
"You seemed a little out of it today. Make sure you pay attention in class. And if you're staying a little longer, please turn off the a/c before you leave."
"Sure, professor," I responded, waiting until he left the room.
Before long, the classroom fell into silence, the only sound being the hum of the a/c, making the room feel even colder.
Alright...
"Can you stop staring at me already?"
"If you had just answered me earlier, we'd be done by now. I wouldn't be sitting here staring at you," she replied.
Done? She'd be ending my life, that's what! No one ever told me not to talk to ghosts, and she's a ghost! Ughhhhhhh!
I shot a frustrated glare at the brown-haired girl in front of me. She looked pretty cute for a ghost, but that didn't make the situation any less annoying. "Fine! I answered, didn't I? Now, leave me alone! Go to... wherever ghosts like you go. Shoo, shoo." I waved her away dismissively.
"Wait!! I'm a ghost, not a dog! Don't shoo me away! You're the only one who can talk to me! Do you know how lonely it is being a ghost?!"
"I don't care! And I don't want to know! Go talk to some other ghost! Why are you bothering a living person, anyway? Are you crazy? Are you some kind of brainless ghost?"
Her face twisted in a pout, clearly offended. "Nobody wants to talk to me! And the other ghosts? They don't make any sense. All they ever talk about is wanting merits and blessings. I'm a ghost too, you know!"
"Then act like one already!"
"Fine!"
...Fine?
"Ugh!! S-stop!!" I frantically tapped at her hands as they suddenly closed around my neck. She'd lunged at me and was choking me before I could even react.
"S-sorry!! Are you okay...?" She immediately let go, looking at me with concern, her eyes glistening with unshed tears.
"Cough, cough! You!! You crazy ghost! I was just joking!"
Her face, previously filled with guilt, shifted to confusion as she tilted her head slightly. "Oh... really? I thought that's what you wanted."
My head hurt. What exactly was I dealing with here? This ghost... she's acting way too human for a spirit.
No matter how human-like she might seem, she's still a ghost in the end.
"Whatever. Just stop bothering me! Ghosts should stay in their own world, okay?"
"..."
Even though she didn't reply, the guilty look on her face remained. Maybe it was because she'd just choked me, but... could ghosts even feel guilt?
Whatever. I've said my piece, and now it's time to go home.
As I packed up my things, she stayed quiet, still giving me that same guilty look. She didn't say another word, just watched me until I left the room. Of course, I didn't bother looking back to see if she was still there. I'd said what needed to be said.
"Sigh..." I found myself thinking about what had just happened while sitting on the bus ride home, my mind drifting to the brown-haired ghost. My hand unconsciously rubbed at my neck, still feeling the lingering sensation from when she'd choked me. That touch was proof enough that what had just happened was real.
I... I really hate this.
That touch, it dug up memories I had tried to bury deep down. And I hate it...
"Move it already!" The conductor's shout jolted me back to the present as I got off the bus along with a handful of other people.
I hate it... having to walk home with these awful feelings.
"Not getting one more bag, sweetie? Last one left," the lady selling food at the end of my street asked, snapping me out of my thoughts. "I'm afraid I won't finish it," I mumbled in response.
After paying for my food, I wandered around, buying a little more before heading into the alley that led to my house.
Every day, around six in the evening, when the sun casts its orange glow, the alley is full of children playing and adults taking evening strolls. It's a scene that looks warm and peaceful, but it only makes me feel more empty and alone. I get this feeling every time I see it.
After a short walk, I finally arrived at my house. I shook my head slightly to shake off those thoughts and rummaged through my bag for the keys, swatting away mosquitoes as I did.
"...?!!"
I turned the key and opened the door like always, but what wasn't normal was the figure waiting behind the door—the last face I wanted to see—grinning at me like a Cheshire cat.
Still laughing, huh? This girl!!
Her cheerful demeanor made it seem like everything was perfectly normal. The sight of her beaming face gave me a headache, prompting me to rub my temples and sigh, "Ugh... go away."
"Are you home alone? I don't see anyone else in the house," she said, completely ignoring my request as she flitted around, popping in and out from one spot to another.
"…Just leave, and can you please get far away from me?"
"Please don't chase me away. I have nowhere to go... Can I stay with you?" She stood right in front of me, holding my hands with an eager expression, her eyes pleading.
That gaze made me pause for a moment. It was something I never expected to see from a non-living entity like her.
"Do you think you're a puppy or a kitten?"
"Pretty please? Helping a ghost gives you merits, you know. When you die, you could be reborn as an angel or something!"
A wandering ghost... and now she's telling me I'll die soon?!
Ugh... I must have sighed a million times today. The more we talked, the more my head hurt. If this continued, I wouldn't get anything done.
Now that I think about it, she was the first ghost I'd ever had a coherent conversation with. If I could grant her some wish, maybe she would finally move on to a better place... That would be nice!
"…What do I have to do for you to leave?"
"Well... nothing! I just want to be with you... Isn't that okay?"
I've probably sighed a million times today. The more we talk, the worse my headache gets. If I keep talking to her like this, I won't get anything done.
Come to think of it, she's the first ghost I've met that makes sense. If I could just do something to fulfill whatever it is she wants, maybe she'll finally move on to the afterlife... Okay, then!
"...What do I need to do for you to leave?"
"There's... nothing. I don't want anything. I just want to stay... Can't I?"
Her response made me clench my fists slightly as I asked, trying to keep my voice calm, "What about merits? Don't you want those? Ghosts like you are always after that."
"Merits? Nah, not interested in stuff like that."
"..."
I furrowed my brows in frustration.
Am I dealing with a troll ghost here? This ghost must've skipped her medication, because normally ghosts only want merits, right? Unless she's some kind of vengeful spirit looking to take someone's place or...
Am I seriously dealing with a pesky ghost? This ghost might not have shaken the bottle of pills. Normally, ghosts just want good karma, right? Unless they're vengeful spirits looking to harm people or find a substitute for their own death.
You want to stay with me? This girl is a real stray ghost!
"I told you already! I'm lonely! You're the only one I can talk to!" She shook both of my hands and spoke seriously.
"Enough! Let go of my hands! I'm not so free that I can waste my valuable time with a wandering ghost like you! And besides! What good are you to me? You don't even help with the bills!"
The orange light slowly faded from the horizon, leaving only the white glow from the light bulbs, making me furious because I wanted to get into my own house.
"You're being too harsh! At least I can help you with your homework!"
"If it's just homework, I can manage that on my own."
She paused for a moment, then looked flustered, as if trying every way possible to stay with me. "I can help clean your house! Wash the dishes, do the laundry, sweep the floors! Look! See? I'm not useless at all!"
"…What?" I exclaimed, seeing cleaning supplies moving on their own without any human control.
Is this a ghost or a maid? Isn't this a bit beyond ghostly boundaries?
"How about that, huh?" She laughed, proud of her work. "Are you starting to be interested in having me stay with you?"
"…No way! This is ridiculous, and get out already!" Saying that, I grabbed her shoulders and pulled her out of the doorway, then quickly closed the door and locked it.
Before I could turn to enter my house, the brown-haired ghost I just tossed aside appeared right in front of me in an instant, looking more pleading than before.
"Mean! Come on! Please let me stay!"
…Okay, I kind of expected this wouldn't work because she's not human like me, it's not surprising she can appear and disappear at will.
By the way, did all the holy spirits in my house go on vacation? How could they let this ghost feel so at ease here?
"What's your name?" I asked, my tone flat, but my body was tense, as if I was interrogating a suspect.
"…I don't have a name."
I raised an eyebrow slightly at her answer. "…Why are you at the university?"
"I don't know… One moment I realized I was there." She scratched her head with a dry laugh, but when she saw my serious expression, she immediately became modest.
From sitting seriously, I switched to holding my head in frustration.
This ghost has absolutely no information! Not even a name to call her! The only thing I know is that no matter what I do, she'll stick to me.
I… am seriously stressed!
Stressed about her annoying presence and the fact that she can touch me without any clear reason.
We can both touch each other even though it shouldn't be possible. Everything is getting weirder and weirder.
The strangest thing is that this ghost is genuinely asking to stay with me…
"…Fine! You can stay," I said, knowing that even if I didn't allow it, she would follow me everywhere anyway.
"Success! Yay! Thank you, Khun Ran!"
I sighed and turned sharply when I heard my name. "How do you know my name? I don't remember telling you."
"Well, in class, you were just staring off into space while your friends were calling your name, and you didn't pay attention."
Because of you!
"…Wait, were you in the classroom too?"
"Yes! I was right next to you the whole time, but I didn't want to disturb the class, so I didn't show myself." She chuckled proudly.
Her laughter made me frown. "You're concerned about bothering others?"
"Of course! Disturbing class is impolite! I wouldn't act like those other ghosts who don't make sense!"
This ghost is way too weird!!
"…Sigh, if you really think that way, you should also consider that you're bothering me. Like right now, you're bothering me too."
She immediately paused when I said that, and not long after, she covered her ears and pretended not to hear. "What are you saying? I can't hear you!"
...So annoying, this ghost!
I narrowed my eyes at her as she continued ignoring me, even whistling to tease me, making me want to smack her. But after a moment, I sighed again.
"I'm done talking. I'm tired. Go do whatever you want; just leave me alone." After saying that, I stood up without looking back.
She's not a human who could steal from me, so I don't have to worry…
I'm too tired to deal with this chatty ghost now, so I decided to go to the bathroom after grabbing a towel. I wanted to hurry up, shower, and rest before I fell asleep.
The sound of water hitting the floor as I turned on the shower and the warm temperature from the water heater helped ease my mood, and I smiled without realizing it. It relieved the stress from today's events, which shouldn't have happened at all.
"Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm." I hummed a tune absentmindedly; whenever I feel good, I tend to hum without thinking.
"You seem happy!"
"Of course—hey!! Why are you coming in here! Get out!!"
Seeing her cheerful face peek through the door startled me so much that I immediately covered myself.
My chest was exposed, and the hidden parts of a woman appeared before me with a shameless smile.
In my entire life, I never thought about naked ghosts before, and now I suddenly realize that even ghosts can strip down just like humans.
"I'm here to help you shower! A GOOD GHOST MUST BE USEFUL!!"
"NO NEED!! GET OUT!!!"