Jolyn's pov:
"You need to eat, Jolyn," Lucious said gently, nudging a plate of roasted chicken toward me.
His voice was low, calming in a way that made me feel slightly more grounded.
I forced a smile and nodded, but my hands felt heavy as I picked up my fork.
Every bite was mechanical, tasteless.
I could see Bailey exchange a glance with Lucious, but neither of them pushed me further. They both knew I wasn't ready to talk about what was bothering me—not yet.
"Do you want to go for a walk later?" Bailey asked quietly after a while, clearly trying to distract me.
I shrugged. "Maybe, I just want to eat."
"Then you should," he clenched out, "instead of constantly poking your meal. You look so pale and…"
"Lucious," Bailey gritted her teeth.
One word from Bailey had him swallowing the rest of his words, letting him know he was crossing a line.
Lucious sighed in defeat, his eyes softening.
"You know we're here for you, right? If you want to talk about it."
I froze, my fork halfway to my mouth. Of course, they wanted to help, but how could I explain the knot of guilt that had been tightening inside me since I saw Ryner?
They wouldn't understand. Maybe Bailey would, but definitely not Lucious.
He would probably laugh at me for still being hung up on my former mate.
I wasn't going to give him another reason to call me weak.
"I know," I whispered, but the words felt hollow as they rolled off my tongue.
There was a long silence, only interrupted by the clink of cutlery on plates.
The room felt suffocating despite the warmth of the food and the comfort of being surrounded by friends.
I pushed my plate away after a few more bites, my appetite long gone.
"I think I'm going to head outside for a bit," I said, standing up abruptly. "I just need some air."
Bailey started to stand as well, but I quickly shook my head.
"It's okay. I just… I need to be alone for a minute."
She hesitated but eventually nodded, concern still etched on her face.
Lucious said nothing, just watching me with those quiet, understanding eyes as I slipped out of the room.
The cool air hit my face as I stepped outside, a stark contrast to the suffocating warmth inside.
I wrapped my arms around myself and walked aimlessly into the garden.
I couldn't shake him from my mind, no matter how hard I tried.
His voice, his laugh, his eyes.
I knew it was stupid, but I wondered if he ever thought about me.
I stopped near the fountain, the soft trickle of water the only sound in the stillness of the night.
Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes, trying to push the memories away. But the harder I tried, the more vivid they became.
"Just let me be," I whispered into the empty night, unsure if I was talking to Ryner or to myself.
The garden seemed to hold its breath, the silence heavy and unmoving.
My body stiffened when I heard footsteps approaching. My eyes flew open.
"Bailey, I told you I'm fine…"
The words got caught in my throat when I saw Lucious as I turned.
"Jolyn?"
He finally stopped at the edge of the garden, his hands in his pockets, his eyes full of worry.
"I didn't mean to interrupt," he said quietly, stepping closer.
"You're not interrupting," I muttered, quickly wiping at my eyes.
"I just… needed a break."
Lucious nodded, stopping a few feet away from me. "I get it."
He didn't press me for details, and for that, I was grateful. Instead, he stood with me in the quiet, offering his presence without demanding anything in return.
After a while, Lucious broke the silence.
"Why do you keep hiding things from us?"
I rolled my eyes. I had a feeling he was actually going to press me for answers. He was my tutor for fucks sake, and not my father.
"Why do you care so much?" I frowned, turning my gaze to him.
I was beginning to get pissed off at the way he kept giving me mixed signals—it was nerve-racking.
"That's none of your concern, Jolyn," he said, stepping closer. "You should be grateful that someone is trying to look after you. In your current state, you won't be able to manage on your own."
I could feel the anger rising to its maximum level as my chest heaved with each breath.
Why must he remind me of how weak I was? Why must he remind me of the reason Ryner rejected me?
"Why are you so annoying? Can't you just let me be? I said I wanted to be alone, can't you just respect that?!" I yelled.
"I'm doing this to protect you!" he snapped, his voice rising with frustration.
"Why must you protect me? I don't need protection from a narcissist who thinks he's better than everyone else!" I groaned.
Lucious' hand found its way to my shoulder, and he grabbed me, giving me a shake that wasn't too hard, but it left me stunned.
"Can't you see I'm trying to protect you because I love you!" he yelled, and we both froze in our tracks.
His eyes widened in shock as they locked on mine.
As we stood there, surrounded by the stillness of the garden, I realized that maybe, just maybe, I didn't have to carry this burden all by myself.