I didn't anticipate that day would come that the person I wasn't prepared to meet again showed up and witnessed my clumsiness. I'm still ashamed in so much embarrassment about what happened yesterday. Every time I remember his emotionless face, I bring back our first encounter. I don't know why or the reason behind it I just can't help it.
The smoothness of the mattress couldn't stop me to stroke my fingers down to the folded canvass I kept. Luckily I was given a chance to check this out. I was so afraid to find out that Beatrice burned something alike to this canvass. I don't know what's the meaning of this but the moment I felt that this canvass could be burned, it gives me a feeling I've never felt before despite the fact that this stuff should mean nothing to me.
I was preparing to go to Viktor's office for something he wanted to talk about. I could just wait for him after his office work rather than going to his company and face the dramatic queen Beatrice Altagracia. I put the folded canvass back in my drawer for fear that I might lose this. I should give this back to the real owner but have no plans yet on how to face him again. I might not see him again.
Viktor's bodyguard dropped me off at V. Levente's company. I remember before that their company was named under the control of his parents which is Levente company but after he became the newly appointed CEO, he replace it with V. Levente's company. I couldn't judge him as a territorial kind of person after all of his sacrifices I believe he deserves this all.
A lot of people and the employers of his company were all gawking at me as I enter the main entrance of the building. I know the meaning of this perhaps the majority of them were with Beatrice's side. Well if this is true, then Beatrice has loyal partisans of hypocrites. I didn't mind those people because I'm not fond of this setup. I knew Viktor make some announcements for them that's why others couldn't even look at me straight.
I entered Viktor's office and immediately see the man I have business with. I'm facing his sturdy back while he's busy looking at the outside appearance of the company. Despite his deep attention to something, he still figure out I was already inside his office.
"My love," He said as he slowly turned to face me.
The coldness of the office and the familiar scent of Viktor lingered inside. I never take off my eyes away from him. I know he's expecting me to look tense so that he'll assume that he'll still have an impact on me. He chuckled soberly yet the gentleness and attractiveness of his face are noticeable.
"What exactly do you want to talk about? If it's not that important, I don't want to stay here for long." I said as I look at his face solemnly.
Viktor knows I don't want to come to his office not only for Beatrice but because of his parents too. I won't mind if they will throw some means words at me. What I don't want about to feel is their presence. It's quite incisive to bring up what happened a long time ago. The major part where I felt more betrayed is when I found out that his parents never like me in the first place. I thought they mean those words they said to me that I'm the best girl they want for their son but the truth is they just putting on a show so that Viktor won't rebel if he finds out everything.
"Hold on," Viktor said as he expected what was on my mind.
He step closer near in my direction and look at my face as he used to do. He wanted to do everything he wants but he knows his limits. He knows the things I couldn't consider anymore. Although he started to do things at peace and under my will, still won't change the fact that things will never be the same again.
"How are you? I know you can handle Beatrice and her arrival doesn't matter anyway." Viktor suddenly utters even the fact that I won't be surprised. He knows how to make fun with me.
"Just so you know, I'm not afraid of your Beatrice. Why are you so persistent to look like a joke when you know that I do not care about the both of you?" Viktor smirked at my words.
"My love, stop saying Beatrice as someone I owned. You know that no one can replace you in this lifetime, Maryam Amira. But the truth is that you ended the things I still wanted to fight for, to chase, and hope." Viktor said without the traces of emotions instead of a pure feeling of seeking solace.
The moment he said those words I thought I could give him a chance for everything but even hoping for prayers to give me a single reason to understand him failed me. I did everything to seek more possibilities but it just gives me nothing.
I recall what happened yesterday. I thought he'll defend Beatrice as he did in the past. I thought it would create major issues in terms of his parents because I know Beatrice comes from a rich family. The thing is that I never notice to him that he cares for Beatrice but to the man, I never expected to arrive at his mansion. I did notice it the moment when the man walked over to me for no reason just to look at my face. At that time, I think that he didn't recognize me but for Viktor, I saw pure skeptics.
"There's no room for hoping anymore..." I haven't finished my words when he cut me off.
"I didn't ask you to follow everything at my wish. Just stay there Maryam Amira. Stay where you want to stay. Do everything that makes you happy. Stay to where your heart beats just don't stop me from doing the things I want to. Run over and over because I'll chase you more than a billion footsteps." His face turns red showing how unbelievable I was in the way I responded.
"Viktor you made me confused with your words. If you want this to happen if you want me to live the life I wish, then why are you caging me? Why not set me free because I don't understand you? You want me and all of a sudden you treat me like a convict." I said full of power. I couldn't stop the emotions that were overflowing within me.
If I'm going back to those days, I know I can't. I can't stand it because it will mentally kill me and drain me in so much pain. I will never recognize myself again. I will never see colors again. I will forget what is the feeling to be alive and maintain my peace for a long time.
I felt my eyes were turning red and before they could expose my sentiments again, I tried my best not to show it off to Viktor. I notice the changes on Viktor's face. However, the softness and the clemency that he is giving me couldn't able to produce fire.
"How? How Viktor? Tell me, how can I trust you again?" My whole body felt numb as I let go of those words.
I saw how soft Viktor's expression had softened. He tried to approach me but I stepped back to tell him I didn't want to be with him. He stopped and I saw the bitterness on his face mixed with sadness in his eyes. I don't want to tolerate the darkness that comes from both of us. No matter how strong and lovely we are in the past couldn't stop me to give up and forget everything.
"What if...what if we rewrite our story, Maryam Amira? Will you agree if I say that it's the fault of the stars? Because what about me? What about me when everything I did is all because of you but in the end, it gave me nothing?" He asked and cursed silently at the air.
I was taken aback and couldn't able to formulate a word. He seemed tired of repeating how proud he was doing all of it. Why can't he stop if he is frustrated? I chuckled bitterly and face him inconsolably.
"I'm done with everything Viktor. If you mean what you say, you shouldn't leave me. You should stay and keep me but I realize that you can't do it because honestly, you don't need me. If these are the things you want us to talk about then I must leave." I said as I slowly turn away from him.
"I have something to announce my love but it seems like you are not in the mood right now. I better do this next time. This is something that I look forward to happening of course with you. I just want to remind you that whatever happens, you should agree with me." Viktor said that caused me to stop.
I didn't face him because I don't want him to think that I have an interest in what he is saying. Instead, I laugh at his words delicately.
"Bye Viktor. Do everything you can, I won't come anyway." I said confidently without even looking back.
I was surprised by what he said yet I stayed calm despite the questions that came on to my mind. What did that man want to say? Why do I have to follow him if he wants me to be happy? Why are you torturing me like this Viktor? No matter what happens I will never believe you no matter how serious your reason is. It is too late to cover all the wounds we have gone through.
I walked absentmindedly in the spacious hallways of his company still in deep thought about a while ago. I bet this area is only for executives and the board of directors because I haven't seen someone like an ordinary employee roaming around.
I was in the middle of looking over at the paintings that were displayed on the luxurious walls when suddenly I stopped at my position. I felt like something hit my ankle that cause me to be paralyzed. I don't know why destiny making its way to get us close. I need to do something. I'm not ready to face him right now. Why every time I avoid the path of the two of us to meet, destiny brings him within a reach? The man who possesses a powerful aura. The man I adore for the second time. Before it was too late I tried to move without noise to stay far from him and turned around to avoid his presence.
I feel the cold enveloping my body. I don't know why I'm sweating and why I can't move my legs. I thought everything would be fine. I thought I could completely avoid him by turning away but I didn't think that even today I'm not the one to follow.
"Stop" someone ordered like a real lawmaker.
I struggled to breathe properly. I swallowed hard to suppress the uncomfortable feeling I had in my body. Slowly I turn around to face him and was enchanted to look at his deep ocean eyes. He's just wearing pants and a white long sleeve but the courtliness and the hotness of his spirit are undeniable. I notice his eyes were like a rigid chain that could secure everything around him. I was the first who looks away before he could notice that I'm struggling to just look at him.
"Excuse me? Do we know each other?" I asked cooly not even thinking that I sound so full of myself.
I was more surprised to see that he was just looking at me attentively like I'm some kind of the rarest view in the world. I'd like to take this time to get away from him. I looked at him soberly pretending that I'm not interested in him nor being astounded by his presence.
"If there's nothing else you want to ask about, let me leave because believe it or not I don't talk to strangers," I said calmly looking into his eyes.
I lost my cool when for the first time I saw him smirking. He smirked at my words which cause me to blink twice. What was the meaning of it? Did he familiarize me? Because of too much embarrassment that I felt I slowly turned my back away from him.
"Strangers? When will you stop pretending my lady? Aren't you the one who splashes a jar of water on my face? How come you forgot it when it just happened yesterday? Shouldn't I have the right to call you a stranger too or better if I call you an elegant lady?" He said and I felt his body was just behind my back. How did it happen? Why is he so close to me?
"Lastly, I will never forget our first encounter." He said which gives me goosebumps. I don't know what exactly happened but I felt like there was no space left for us to be strangers. What if Viktor will see me in this position?
We stared at each other again and even if I tell him the truth I couldn't help but feel the feeling I found in him the day he suddenly appeared.