Summary:
A messy earth life, you see
"Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten." Boscha counted before she stopped spinning the pizza. "Place on sauce, gently ladle to evenly spread." She muttered, working on the ingredients. "Followed by sprinkling cheese until it covers seventy five percent of the sauce. Afterwards, cut up the pepperoni into thin two centimeter slices and scatter across evenly so it's divisible into eight slices." Who knew that a dish that was essentially hot bread and cheese would've required so much math?
"You picked this up real fast." One of the owner's daughter's, looking over her work.
"Photographic memory, once you get the essentials down, it's a snap to get the rest." She explained as she tried to slice and dice each ingredient. "That and the fear of that lady is a great motivator."
"You're doing great sweetie." The elderly woman smiled. With Lucci's Grandma, there was a mutual respect, but with that lady … there was no competition. Though she would refrain from telling anyone that she was afraid of an elderly human.
"Don't let Nana scare you. Stay on her good side and she's harmless…most of the time." The girl laughed. "So you and your friend's new around here? Never seen you around before."
"Yeah, let's just say there's been some…moving complications." She said vaguely. "Main focus is to make money and get out of here as soon as possible."
"Meh, can't argue with that." The other daughter, the one usually on the 'phoon' spoke. "Gravesfield has its good points, but there's very little compared to some of the bigger apples. Silver City is where it's at, my friend."
"Sounds riveting." She rolled her eyes…which was a little hard to do given that she had to hide her third eye under a bandana. Just another reason to hate this whole dumb universe. "As long as my boyfriend and I can get far away from here, I'd be satisfied."
"Boyfriend? Are we talkin the blond fellow or the short kid?" The techy sister asked.
"Blegh, not in any fucked up universe I live in."
"Language." Nana gently chided.
"..Yes Nana." She quietly nodded, before going back to the conversation. She didn't need to reign down the wrath of the old lady.
"Then I guess your boyfriend didn't come yesterday." The sister that usually stayed with her in the kitchen noted.
"No he was." She corrected, placing the pizza in the oven.
"...Wait, you can't be talking about…are you?" The phoon sister's eyes popped open. "Are you….are you and Steven a thing?"
"I could have sworn he was into Connie from all the times they came over." The kitchen sister said with shock. "What changed?"
"He was naturally drawn to my dominant presence and my need to ruthlessly destroy anyone that gives me crap." She explained.
"Language."
"I'm sorry Nana, force of habit." Wait, she couldn't say crap? That was her toning it down. She would've said shit normally.
"I swear that guy is going through the worst puberty ever." The Kitchen sister complained. "First he starts fires all day, then steals money from Jenny, then throws Lars into a fire? How am I supposed to trust him when he becomes nice again?"
"Have you met the guy's dad? It's a wonder this didn't happen sooner." The phone girl said. "Just natural teenage rebellion. I'm still in that phase myself."
"Jenny, you're supposed to be out on orders!" Mr Pizza yelled.
"The new girl said she wanted employee of the month, so I gave them to her." She WHAT!?
"That's twenty pizzas! How is she supposed to deliver them in-"
Ding
"Twenty pizzas delivered in twenty minutes." That damn half a witch smirked, walking through the door with a smug smile.
"That's…that's one pizza a minute!"
"I know, they even tipped me in fifties extra for the fast delivery." She smiled as she handed over the cash. "Here's the money Mr Pizza. Tips are for us, right?"
"Yes….Although now I'm wondering if I'm getting my money's worth." Mr. Pizza was flabbergasted.
"Damn girl, you made dad speechless." Phoon girl laughed. "What's your secret?"
"Never skip leg day." Half a witch waved off. "So we work till sundown, right?"
"Actually we close a little earlier today, weekend and all." Phoon girl responded. "I'm hanging out with my friend's later. Wanaa tag along?" OH COME ON! HOW WAS WILLOW THE POPULAR ONE HERE!?
"Can't, me and my friends are working on a group project together." The annoying girl laughed.
"Actually I just texted them, we're having a free day today." Boscha lied.
"... But we don't even have-"
"We'll be GLAD to join you guys in…whatever you guys do..you know…get to know the town and all." Boscha interrupted again.
"Great! Be ready by five, cause we are busting out here the second the clock strikes."
"Good." Mr Pizza shoved some boxes into Phoon girl's hands. "Because I believe you need to seriously earn your keep considering your competition."
"Damn it, I thought it would've been easy today.
A pineapple launched itself into the girl's head. "Language Jenny, you know better!" …That woman was terrifying.
They watched as the phoon girl left the restaurant. "...Okay, what the…what was that all about, Boscha!?" Willow shout whispered.
"Like I'm going to let you be more popular than me anywhere, even in this stinking world." Boscha answered. "
"... Are you seriously putting off a way to get home just because you're jealous I'm getting more attention than you!?" Willow exclaimed. "Why are you being so petty?!"
"Because if I'm stuck here, then I'm going to at least get something enjoyable out of it." She explained.
"Unbelievable." Willow shook her head. "Fine, but whatever happens today, that's going to be on your head."
Boscha rolled her eyes. "It's the human realm, nothing is going to go wrong."
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Luz watched with mild amusement as Lucci glared daggers into Boscha. "So … I'm spending the whole day as Steven instead of working on a way to my family …"
"When you put it like that….It sounds so wrong."
"THAT'S HOW I DESCRIBED IT!" Willow shouted.
"Yeah, but you suck." Boshcha justified.
Lucci placed a hand on the girl's shoulder. "No cuddles for a week."
"What, but, but that's like the one benefit I have stuck in this world!"
"We both know I find girls fighting each other over petty competition annoying." Luz was really confused on how that worked considering Boscha's violence was what attracted him to begin with. "You're just going to have to live off of hand holding for the moment."
"Come on Crystal.."
"You can't crystal your way out of this, Angel, especially when I have to spend time as Steven." He rolled his eyes.
"I thought Boscha wore the pants in that relationship." Hunter asked with confusion in his voice.
"He can pull the pants on when it's serious." Amity explained. "The power dynamic fluctuates ever so often."
"Yo Steven, what's up!" A voice called out.
Lucci looked like he was about to explode, before Luz place her hand on his head. "Hold it in, Lucci. Don't lose your cool. It's just going to be for a few hours." She noted. "Then you can forget about being Steven for the rest of the week."
"Remind me why I can't just go with doppelganger?" He asked.
"Because Steven is too well known around town and Vee needs a new identity due to both Mr. Universe and Jacob being assholes." Luz whispered. "Who knows that that nutjob would do if he got the entire world against us like Belos did."
"So we need to kill him…"
"No murder!" She shouted, almost forgetting that people were approaching. "Just, play it cool and try not to start any fires."
He sighed. "Hey there … guys." He weakly waved. "Pizza girl….tall guy….shades."
"Heh. There's no telling what you'll do next, Steven. Unpredictability is cool." Oh good, the Mayor's son was dense. Hopefully that meant the other two wouldn't ask too many questions.
"Nice to meet you." Gus walked up and waved. "I'm Gus. Me and my friends are new to town." He held up a hand in greeting.
"So you're from the world outside of Gravesfield. Must be nice." The taller blonde kid shook his hand. "Better than staring at the same old boring beach all day."
"Finally, someone that gets it!" Willow exclaimed.
"I'm Sour Cream. That's Jenny Pizza. And this here is Buck Dewey." The blond explained.
"Wait, is naming people after food a common occurrence around here?" Amity asked.
"Just around our weird little town." Sour Cream explained. "I tried asking my stepdad about it once, but he just said 'Meme, mememehme' and didn't really elaborate."
"Maybe it doesn't need to be elaborated. It's your name, so you should just embrace it, and you decide what it means to you." Lucci expressed.
"Wow…not even three years of highschool philosophy taught me so much about life." Sour cream looked thoughtful.
"When the man is not bound by the conventions of society, their mind expands into the all accepting nature of the universe, free as it pleases." Buck nodded.
"...So are all human's just one sentence away from existential speeches?" Hunter asked her with a whisper.
"No, it's a universal thing with all teenagers." She whispered back. "We either try to be smarter than we think we are or moody emotional messes."
"Ain't that the truth. Though I don't think Dad ever moved out of his moody phase." Jenny snorted. "It's always 'Jenny stop texting during work, Jenny don't sneak out at night, Jenny don't steal the car and go on a joyride'. Such a stick in the mud".
"Don't I know it." Sour cream rolled his eyes. "Always 'Mememe, Mwamwa, memewa.' and stuff."
"I'm starting to think he has a serious problem with his family." Gus notted. "He just makes up white noise whenever he talks about him."
"MWA!" They turned to a passing boat. "Memewa!"
"Yes Dad, I'll take out the trash tonight!"
"Mwwaaaa!"
"I can't right now, I'm with my friends!" He sighed. "Seriously, not one minute to myself with that guy."
"I think he just has a really thick accent." Luz answered. "So what's on the itinerary for today's completely normal teen activity?" She was just as awkward as her friends were in this situation. She never got invited along to these kinds of things.
"Cruising and Skinny dipping in Dead Man's mound." Jenny answered.
"... Skinny what?" Gus asked with confusion, along with the other witches. "I don't think we had that in our … country."
"You strip down to your undies and jump in water." Buck explained.
"....How do you even survive that…" Lucci asked.
"Dude." She looked at them before Lucci could give them away. "Normal water, legitimate activity." She explained. "Sounds like fun….if a little weird considering it's fall and the water will be freezing."
"It's a special bog, it stores up enough heat to act like a summer lake." Sour cream explained. "You guys in?"
"I dunno." Hunter shrugged. "I don't really see the appeal compared to other games and activities … although 'cruising' sounds fun."
"It's just driving around and taking in the fresh breeze and observing your surroundings, come on, it'll be a blast." Jenny insisted. "We took two cars, so we should be able to fit everyone."
"I'm down for that." Boscha grinned. "Come on chickens."
"If any of you oogle my girlfriend, I'm ending you on the spot." Lucci announced.
"Me and Luz …" She turned to Amity. "Swimming … playing in the water … touching … with little clothes …"
"You don't have to do it, Amity, we can just watch.."
"No, I want to embrace your human life, and do human activities with you…even if they involve…stripping…" Amity's whole entire face was beating red.
"Is she alright?" Sour cream asked. "She looks like she's having a heat stroke."
"It's fine, she just needs to cool off, that's all." Maybe it wasn't a good idea to do something so provocative infront of her pretty innocent minded girlfriend….but they were already this far into things.
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"Usually people shout 'I'm the King of the World' while doing that." Jenny told the blond kid who was standing up and feeling the wind as they drove around.
"Why would I do that? I don't own the world just because I feel how good the fresh air is…I'm embracing all the good things that the world is giving me right now."
"You go kid." Buck nodded. "The world rules, let anarchy reign supreme!"
"...Oh titan I'm becoming a criminal." The boy slumped back down into his seat. "What has my life become?"
"One where you can do something decent instead of just sucking all the time?" Steven questioned.
"You know, at the speed we're going, it'd be a shame if you slipped out of the seat."
"I can say the same thing about you." Wow, Steven having sass. That was just bewildering to see in front of her.
"So exactly when did you meet these new friends of yours, Steven? You seem pretty familiar with them, especially if you're dating one of them." Jenny decided to ask.
"..About….five-six months ago. Met Luz around then, and everyone else just fell into place naturally." He explained after a moment of pausing. "We just clicked…sept blondy over here, but not everything can be perfect."
"I could say the same thing about a certain pinky." Willow spoke, turning to Boscha. "I tried to get rid of her…but she's a packaged deal with Lu-with Steven now."
"Screw you half…" The pink tanned girl grumbled. "Just, screw you."
"Easy, we're trying to block out the negative vibes. That's what cruising is all about." Buck piped in with his little tidbits of wisdom.
"So … what's his story?" Gus asked.
"Mayor's son." Jenny explained. "Never really liked his dad though, he's a real free thinker."
"Moms are the way to go." Steven held out a fist high in the air.
"Eh, not all dads are horrible. Sure, my dad get's on my case, but he's the one that raised me. That counts for something to me at least." Jenny shrugged. "Mom walked out, so never had a good view of her to begin with."
"Yeah, I never really knew my mom either." Gus said. "My dad's been there for me."
"It's only until recently that I found something good about my dad…heck…about my family in general." Amity rolled her eyes. "Any other adult I meet either wants to use me or manipulate me. That's why the moment I'm a legal adult, I'm going off the grid with Luz to spend the rest of our days in uninterrupted happiness."
"Off the grid, nice choice." Sour cream nodded. "We're almost there."
"Why is it called Dead man's mouth anyway?" Luz asked.
"Lots of people vanish mysteriously or something." Jenny answered. "Or it's because it's shaped like a mouth, I don't know the details."
"Huh, that actually sounds relatively decent." Boscha noted as they finally pulled over. "Kind of gray in this spot though."
"Yeah, the weather's weird over here. Usually it's raining and covered in clouds. Not much sun reaches this place." Jenny explained.
"Kind of a dreary place for fun." Hunter noted.
"Nah, it's got that Boiling Isles vibe to it." Steven grinned. "I'm down for a swim. Where is it?"
"Behind the police tape they use for active crime scenes." Buck pointed. "Anarchy for life!" He rushed through.
"...That doesn't concern anyone in the least?" Gus brought up.
"We've done worse back in your hometown." Luz pointed out as they moved forward. "A little trespassing honestly is like the least illegal thing we've ever done as a group."
"I really am turning into a criminal." Hunter gasped. "Up is down, black is white. Next you're going to tell me squirrels can fly!"
"Oh hey, a flying squirrel." Sour cream pointed to the animal chittering about, grabbing a nut before gliding away.
"I'm just going to bury myself in that mossy water." Hunter began making his way to the lake.
"Yeah, embrace freedom!" Jenny began taking her clothes off.
"Moss huh." Willow looked it over, reaching out her hand. "It's no red grass, but it's something."
"So …" Amity looked like she was having a heat stroke again as she turned to Luz. "Should I go first or …"
"We can jump in together if you want…" Luz blushed, taking a deep breath. "One….Two..
"Wait!" They turned to Willow. "You can't go into the water, the moss … it feels angry."
"... Feels angry?" Jenny asked. "You an active environmentalist or something?"
"What the heck is…nevermind, I just know if we jump in, it's not going to turn out alright."
Sour cream poked the water. "It doesn't feel scorching …"
"And I'm sure we could make friends if we find a lagoon monster." Buck nodded, jumping in. "See, water's completely fi-" Buck didn't get to finish as he was pulled under.
"... Buck?" Jenny asked. "You okay buddy?"
"I'll go check on him." Sour cream moved in. "Now where is-" He was pulled under next.
"Okay, everyone stay AWAY from the water until we work this out!" Luz shouted. A giant mossy hand shot out of the water, grabbing her arm and pulling the girl under.
"Luz!" Amity tried grabbing on, her feet being glued to the ground by what looked like purple mud. "What's going on?!"
"I don't know, something like this never happens to us!" Jenny shouted as a green hand grabbed onto her leg. "It's got me! Steven, can't you use your rock powers or something!?"
"Wait, you know about that..?"
"Yeah! Sure you only got shapeshifting down but maybe you could-" Jenny was pulled under the water, unable to breathe.
"Bwwwwwwbbbb!" She was choking on the water filling her lungs, her vision being completely murky by the moss and dirtiness of the water. This really was a bad idea! Why didn't she just go to the mall like a normal teenager!?
The slightest bit of hope came when she saw Willow dive inside, reaching out for her as the moss began to surround her…only for them to slightly repel off of Willow. The last thing she noticed before she blacked out with another splash…and a glow of pink.
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Orchid glared at the water, popping up from its depths after dragging out the teenagers.. " ENOUGH!" She raised her hands high. "Show yourself and face me like a tree, or stand down there like a weed!" Been a while since Orchid's came out. Feels strange . Agreed, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
"Wait …" Oh shit . "YOU TWO CAUSED THE SECOND VEGGIE INCIDENT!?"
"Sweet potato, this isn't the time to dwell on it.."
"Luz….YOU KNEW ABOUT THIS!?" Amity yelled. "How long has this been a thing!?"
"Since the moonlight conjuring." Gus said. TRAITOR! "I kept trying to bring it up, but Willow shut me up everytime I did."
"That was a little under three weeks since knowing you!" Amity shouted.
"Hey, I'm always happy to talk about myself." She told the witches. "But could we focus on it after we deal with the moss monster?" Orchid pointed to the moss, now acting like a mass of tentacles."
"Fine, but this isn't over! I am NOT letting the two of you off lightly for this!" Great, now she's angry. We should've just let the moss kill the teenagers.
"Eat fire you grassy freak!" Bosha shot forth a ball of flames … which was instantly soaked up by the thing, as it began shooting forth a water stream that cut through rock. "Oh bs, I thought the human world didn't have magic!"
"It's not…so this might actually be a gem thing!" Luz shouted, using her sword to cut through the vines aiming at her.
"As if Lucci needed to hate this thing more." Orchid growled, digging her feet deep into ground, and commanding her control over the roots of the nearby trees, making them moves of their own autonomy as her soldiers. "Stand down, or I will mow you over!" The moss multiplied to three times her height, using the people it caught as human shields. "... Cheap!"
It sent forth a mossy fist that sent Orchid into a wall. "... Anyone have another plan?" Amity asked.
"Don't count me out just yet, I'm just getting started!" Orchid yelled, increasing their bulky mass and charging at the moss head on. "Why are you so angry!? Why are you trying to drown us!?"
"Wait a second!" Hunter shouted. "It's a plant!"
"Oh, thank you captain obvious!" The Lucci part of them shouted.
"No, as in it needs water and sunlight!"
".. How the fuck did I not realize that." It was so freakin obvious! "This place is too cloudy, it needs sun so it can start blooming!"
"So do you happen to know any spells that can clear away the clouds?" Gus asked, ducking and dodging out of the way of more mossy tentacles. "Because that would be useful!"
"Not particularly, no plant really reaches that high, especially here. Can you just illusion up some sunlight?" Orchid asked as they tried their best to restrain the mossy beast.
"Illusion light isn't that strong, and the prism is back at the cabin!"
"Then I'm going to have to improvise something." Orchid summoned both Lucci and WIllow's Palisman, and flew high in the air as fast as they could. Willow, you know a light spell? Of course, it's what I used to help grow my first tree…dammit it, why wasn't this so obvious before? Time, pressure, and the fact life screwed us over tenfold within the last two weeks, anyone would've forgotten.
"Can we focus on clearing the clouds already?" She stopped them, diving into the heart of one. "Okay, Clover, Sugar, I'm going to channel massive light spells into you, and it's going to take up a lot of energy. You two up for it?"
"Bzz."
"Hss."
That was two big old yes's. "Then … let there be light!" Spinning around them rapidly, they created too large magic circles, one out of green light, one out of pink light, both creating massive balls of pure light that encased the entire cloud, before they threw it down on top of the mossy figure.
The creature stilled its movements, gazing at the light … before it began to bloom, turning into flowers that floated along the wind. " Whoa….that's so pretty… So much pink…flowing through the wind…Earth can be amazing, huh..Don't push that far…but…this is nice." So … serene …
Thud
They turned to see the humans land down onto the ground. "We need healing!" Luz shouted. You'd think with all the times Luz gets in trouble, I would remember how fragile humans are. With any luck, they'll forget about the magic stuff. Even if they know about me, I don't want to draw so much attention. Good point.
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Camila set down the meal as Amity chastised Lucci and Willow. Ever since the group came back, the purple headed girl seemed to be really ripping into the two. "There's a reason why we never let Lucci around plant magic before! And we're not even getting into your part, Willow!"
"Amity…"
"You've done it, multiple times, WITHOUT TELLING ANYONE! And not only that, you deliberately kept the fact you two can fuse from me in situations where it WOULD'VE BEEN USEFUL!" She argued. "Imagine what that crazy lady-"
"Goddess." Luz spoke up.
"Goddess, could have done against Belos!"
"... Mildly injure him?" Lucci asked. "He's like a sludgy plant abomination, you know how hard it was to hurt him."
"I remember you having a bigger ego." Hunter spoke.
"I remember you being the biggest prick we knew-" Okay, now was the time to intervene.
"No, none of that language here." She commanded firmly yet gently. "I can see you all had a busy day, but please tone down the arguing. Dinner time is calm time, so take a deep breath, and let go of today's baggage."
"Yes Ms Noceda." Amity pouted, taking a bite of the meal. "So … gems can be plants? I thought they were rocks."
"I remember Garnet mentioning that Rose was capable of commanding plants that she brought to life." Luz answered. "So going by past experience…I say this was a plant that went out of control."
Lucci groaned. "Great, this just means I have something in common with her."
"Massive plant monsters gone rogue?" Boscha asked.
"Yep." He let his head fall to the table. "Angel. Next time you want to one up Willow, don't bring human interaction into the mix."
"I was being generous by not involving gems. I can't tell which one you hate more." Boscha patted his back.
"I don't even want to get involved with the gem stuff. Can't we just leave that as it is?"
"Lucci, I know you're not going to like hearing this…but gem stuff is the closest we have to magic on earth at the moment." Her daughter told her friend. "So…you probably…need to…play nice with the Crystal Gems…and get comfortable with learning your mo-womb donner's past."
"...I'm splurging on Lion Lickers tomorrow to deal with the headache." He stated.
"Yeah yeah, we'll work it out." Her mija patted him.
"So what did you and the other kids do anyway before the 'plant business' got involved?" Camila asked with curiosity.
"We cruised with our bodies out of the cars as we went skinny dipping in Dead man's mouth." Hunter stated.
"....Luz, i'm willing to be more understanding, given the situation…but did you not think that wasn't the smartest idea?" She questioned. "Do I need to give you the talk again?"
"No, no it's fine." Her daughter shook her head. "I'll keep the chaos down, I promise."
"That and your safety is all I ask." Camila sighed. To think she became a mother of seven so quickly. She couldn't picture having another kid after this.