After the turbulent second day of school, I resolved to just say fuck it to everything and try my best to have an enjoyable easy life, and over the following few days, I found that it wasn't hard to do so as Jenn.
Donsu was not my problem, nobody helped me when I was in his position and he used to be a dick to me anyway, and when I did butt in the pig squealed and got me in trouble after all. Jenn may have bullied some kids, but I told myself that's also not my problem either. I'm Jenn but that Jenn wasn't me.
Also, I didn't want to put myself under too much pressure to think about 'why' and the 'purpose' of my being given this 'second chance' at life. I refused to believe that this was some kind of a blessing or gift from a god. If there ever was a god, then he should not have put me through all that suffering in the first place. I didn't care if such a god was suddenly being benevolent to bless me in this new life. I refused to forgive him for what he had allowed to happen before.
The first 'friends' I made coming back to this class were of course Ajin (but she's nice to everyone anyway), and Jihee and Jiho, a couple that I had lunch together on the first day. We often had lunch together and they were generally friendly and cool. If I wasn't such a resident loser in the class before maybe I could have been friends with them back then too. It was just a pity that being in that position made me into some kind of an untouchable that nobody wanted to interact with, even decent guys like Jihee and Jiho. Ajin was right after all. People just didn't want to get mixed up in these situations. If there was someone getting stomped at the bottom, then just let it be and enjoy your high school life with the comforting knowledge that you won't be the one to be targeted as long as that unfortunate guy was around.
So I followed suit and largely ignored what was happening behind me in the classroom. That was Hechan and his crew's domain. That's where Donsu always got bullied by Hechan, and Soojin and the other bitches joined in to laugh at the poor sod. All I needed to do was just stop myself from turning around.
It's all fine now. I will just live an easy life and enjoy each day.
But then something I did not really consider before came up.
"So Jenn, do you have a boyfriend?"
Jihee asked during lunchtime on one of those easy days when we were idling around my desk, and I almost spat out the milk I was drinking but managed to hold back.
Oh man, I did not think about this before. But it suddenly dawned on me that I am indeed a girl now and that means it's only natural that some people would expect I'd have or will form a relationship with some boys, in the future at least, if not now.
"No. Like, really, No"
"Oh, that's great!"
Huh? What does she mean it's great? Well, I AM certainly happy that I don't have a boyfriend. I haven't thought about it before but it would have been mega awkward if Jenn already had a boyfriend and I wasn't aware of it, or even worse, that I was forced to act as someone's girlfriend. What does she mean it's great though?
"I'm sorry if this is a bit too sudden, but we had a mixer planned this Saturday but one of the girls can't make it now. Do you want to come to join us? It will be fun!"
"Er… is it one of those boys and girls mixer things?" (that I only read about in manga…?)
"Yeah, 4 guys and 4 girls, including me and Jiho"
"You guys are already dating, what are you going to a mixer for?"
"It makes for a better atmosphere when there is a pair who is already a couple, like, it makes the whole thing less awkward"
"I see…."
"So are you free this Saturday?"
This was tough. I didn't want to reject my very first opportunity to enjoy some form of social gathering, but then again I was horrified at the thought of some dude hitting on me, and I was certain that would happen considering how I looked now. How was I even gonna deal with that?
"I'm not sure… I've never been to one of those…"
"Aw, please, it will be fun"
"Who else is coming anyway?"
"Some of them are my middle school friends that go to different high schools now, and some of them are friends of friends. I don't know them all personally but I'm sure they are all cool. No weirdos for sure"
"Well… I... I will think about it…"
"Hehe, you are a lot shier than I expected. Anyways, think about it tonight and let me know tomorrow"
"Right, I will"
The bell rang and that was the end of our conversation for this there, but man, what am I supposed to do now? Maybe I'd never get invited to anything again if I rejected this time? But what if I go there and I have some dudes making moves on me, I'm in a girl's body now but I'm a boy in the heart - I'm so not into that!
At the same time though, a thought occurred to me that this was actually kinda funny. Just until recently, I was a guy who couldn't even get into a club full of geeks, otakus, and weebs. Now I worry that I go to some social event and be too popular and draw unwanted attention.
Well, first-world problems, I guess.