"Jenn, please introduce yourself to the class"
I was shit scared and it took all my effort to just keep standing on two feet and not wet myself.
WHY THE FUCK AM I BACK IN MY OLD CLASS!
I was in a panic the moment I found out I was coming back to this school, a few weeks ago. I did think that this could possibly happen but come on, there are 13 classes in the first year, why did I have to be back to THIS class?!
If I falter now… everything would have been for nothing. I might even end up becoming a victim of bullying again, being a timid transfer student who can't make any friends. I felt like throwing up just at the thought of it.
I just stood at the front of the class quietly for a few seconds without knowing what to do or what to say. I felt like the whole class was a freaking truck that was running straight at me and I was a baby deer staring at it.
'Wow… she's stunning'
'Look at her hair, so pretty'
'Do you think she's a model?'
"Aarkljsghweoraslkoiqwe' (er… what?)
I was slowly coming back to my senses and could hear the kids in my class whispering to each other. This gave me all the encouragement I needed.
That's right, I'm Jenn. I fear nothing.
"Good morning everyone. My name is Jenn. Nice to meet you all. I hope we can get along. Please take care of me"
With that, I bowed, and brushed my side hair to the back of my ear as I lifted my head again - I have practiced this MANY times in front of the mirror. How was that?
When I saw the flustered look on the faces of the boys in my class, I knew it was a success. My confidence was now growing.
"Jenn, you can take the empty seat by the window over there"
But I got instantly filled with dread again when I glanced over to where my teacher was pointing. That was my old seat. Of course, it had to be this way - that seat was empty because I was no longer around. Now to come back here as Jenn only to be put in the same seat again, and oh my god… that means the person sitting behind me will be….
"Sir, er… isn't that a bit… bad? Making her sit there?", some girl I've never talked to before commented.
There was a stir in the classroom and kids started to murmur.
"Yeah, it's like a doomed seat isn't it?"
"Urgh… how can she sit there where that creep used to sit"
"This isn't right!"
Shut the hell up you motherfuckers!
"Shut the hell up you motherfuckers!"
Wha…? Who said that? That's just what I was thinking?
"Hechan, watch your language!", the teacher scolded him instantly.
This boy, Hechan, the leader of the pack that bullied me, every single day, every single fucking day till my last day - what is he thinking?
He then stood up and took a step forward to stand next to where I was to sit and pulled the chair out politely for me.
"Please, take your seat. My name is Hechan, nice to meet you"
And he beamed me a smile that I'd never seen him make before.
DISGUSTING.
"Wooh~. Hechan's already making a move!"
I have thought about this many times while I was recovering before going to school again.
What kind of a girl should I be? Nice and cheerful? Bubbly? Friendly? Or just be quiet and stay out of trouble? Would that make me a loner again? But man, I'm not sure I can handle normal social interactions as a popular girl that I might be with this look.
How about being an ice queen? Won't the other girls think I'm a bitch? But hang on, if I was the opposite of that, being all chummy with the guys, wouldn't that make the other girls jealous of me?
I was making a big gamble here and probably was pushing my luck, but the conclusion I had reached while preparing at home was that probably the best way would be to act how the real Jenn would act, but tone down on the brattiness, bitchness, and arrogance a bit. She would have had a good social life wherever she was with that personality combined with this look. I can do that too and will do even better with a few tweaks. When you are this pretty, a lot of things can be excused.
I didn't say a thing, just looked at Hechan in the eyes (that sent shivers down my spine I have to admit) with the coldest look I know this face is capable of, and sat on the seat.
Hechan seemed to be a little taken aback by being given a cold shoulder, but I know this guy's not someone who's gonna let himself down just because of that.
"You are welcome"
Hechan gave a friendly smile again and went back to his seat.
As I was sitting there at my old and new desk, I could literally feel that Hechan was staring at me from behind. I felt that way before too as a boy here, but that gave me fear and dread. This time, it felt dirty and sticky, like just being looked at by him was contaminating me.
I won't react now. But watch, you disgusting bastard.
You ain't gonna get better of me ever again.