"No! No! Save me...! Save me, El...!!"
The pure complaint of my heart, without shame or honor.
It came gushing out through the gap in my cracked heart.
I had always suppressed it before, but now it could no longer be halted by reason.
And my body was no exception to it, either. My limbs struggled with a desperate violence, displaying resistance as if trying to dispel all of their pent-up anger.
In that struggle there was no longer any thought of conserving my strength, only something like a petulant child who shows that they don't want to acknowledge the reality before their eyes.
—But still... I had no chance of breaking free of the tentacles by doing that, and...!
If I had been at my best, the story might still have been different.
Now, however, I had been violated by aphrodisiac venom and could not move my body as I wished.
The tentacles were not kind enough to release me, I am still in the grip of that disordered condition.
Even I understood that.
And yet... even so, I was already... at my limit.
"El...! El...! Save me...! Save me...!"
"Hee hee... So, it's finally come out... "
—At the same time she spoke, the succubus's hand softly brushed my cheek.
The hand that stroked my tear-stained cheek was warm; it was just like being caressed by mother.
My heart, on the verge of going to pieces from unease and fear, calmed just a little at that caress, which caused me to feel a maternal warmth.
But the one who gave it was a succubus — a member of a race it had been decided by the Chief God that I should eternally oppose.
At the very least, she was not someone for whom to feel such an emotion... not someone to see as a mother, or anything of the kind.
"Not the lines of a 'hero,' but... the words of a single girl... "
Still like that, the monster faced me and smiled.
The succubus's beauty was outstanding to begin with, even for a monster, and her smiling like that was enough to make me hallucinate that a flower had bloomed.
I shook my head to deny that delusion and the works the succubus had spoken.
"You are wrong...! I, I...!"
"Oh my... You really don't have to deny it like that, you know? You want whatever boy you like to come save you, after all."
"That's..."
That was probably so. But... but I was a "hero." It was my role to protect and lead him. No... rather... a "hero" mustn't make any special connection. I had to become an ideal "hero" for his sake, too...—
—...Hu... h...?
My thinking was horribly mismatched. I finally came to realize that.
And yet, surely, my thoughts would not so simply return to normal after many years of being twisted.
I no longer knew just what was mistaken, or which was correct...
No... to begin with, I didn't even know which were my true feelings.
—In that state, the succubus quietly hugged me close, and...
Contrary to her practically transparent pale skin, her body was very warm.
So much so that I came to want to abandon myself to her entirely, just as if I were being embraced at my mother's bosom.
Of course, there were thoughts complaining that that was dangerous inside me as well.
But my mind, having at last realized the self-contradiction it had held for many years, was in pieces... and unable to resist.
"Poor thing... repressing yourself like this... You've had quite a hard time, haven't you...?"
—And then... those kind words smoothly came into my heart.
Surely those words were like poison, flowing in through the fissures in my cracked heart.
Even I understood that.
And yet... the succubus's words were unbelievably kind.
After all, those words warmed me as if to fill the cracks in my tattered heart one by one.
For me, who had lost sight of my support, her words were too kind... and too sweet.
"It will be fine... I will teach you properly from the beginning... You see, your contradiction... stems from using someone precious to you as a reason to be a 'hero.'"
"Someone... precious..."
—At her words, El floated to the surface of my mind.
El. My precious childhood friend.
The person who had always protected and guided me.
And yet... now it was different.
No, it had to be different. I mean, I was a "Hero," and... no, that was wrong... "I" had not wanted to become a hero... just... someone he... could be proud of... I just didn't want him to hate me...
"That's right. A long time ago, you... ended up seeing a side of the people you respected that you could never respect. One of them was your blood relative... and another was one of your teachers. So... so, you were scared, right? You were afraid that you might end up becoming like that too... and you didn't want him to see, right?"
"Th... that's..."
—That was the past I had always kept shut up under a lid until now.
I didn't even want to remember it... that day of parting.
I had seen the figures of the two people I respected drowning themselves in wine.
I had always felt ashamed... of myself, who, with the mind of a child, had felt that I didn't want to become like that.
The man who had made time in his busy schedule to give me training and the father who had raised me.
I had never been able to acknowledge... the me who had thought the figures of the two of them unsightly.
"So... you tried to become the 'fine adult' that you made your ideal. So that when you were able to reunite with him some day... you would be able to hold your head high. But... because of your being chosen as a 'hero,' it changed to an 'ideal hero,' and... 'Wilmarina,' who held Elt precious, ended up being driven deep inside."
"..."