As I stood at the bottom of the porch, looking at the heartwarming scene of Kami hugging mom and Mina tightly, I couldn't stop the small feeling of jealously from beginning to form in my heart. It took hold like a parasite, feeding off of the hateful emotions that were already swirling in my heart and gaining strength of. Growing in size. It felt like it was trying to infect my entire body, that the sinking feeling had replaced the very blood in my arteries. Just like the debilitating cold I had felt, this feeling was so internally I knew that nothing I did could make it go away. I was jealous of how much they all loved each other. How well they all seemed to get along.
And I hated myself for it.
"Welcome back, my sweetheart."
At that moment, all of my blood ran cold. The voice of my father-which although it remained a primary voice in my head I hadn't actually heard recently-had not changed one bit. It was deep and powerful, while at the same time, remaining low and gentle. It still held the same commanding tone that I recognized it for, but this time, there was an element that I was unfamiliar with in his voice. That was because he never directed this to me. Only ever to Kami.
It was affection.
His emphasis on the words my sweetheart served as a spear to the gut. Unconsciously, at the sound of that affection, I took a step back. That kind of expression of emotion coming from my father was completely foreign to me. It was unnatural. And yet to Kami, it probably sounded how it was supposed to sound.
Sweet. Caring. Affectionate.
Kami looked up at our father, still locked in a death hug with Mina and mom. I was standing behind her, and couldn't see her facial expression, however if her words and voice were any indicator of how she was feeling, then she was so happy that it threatened to bring her to tears. "Dad...." At that moment, I could hear footsteps. The click of shoes against marble. The same familiar jingling of the jewelry that hung on his wrists. At then, he appeared in the massive doorway.
The figure of Takeru Chisaki was one of a man who had everything in the world. Everything from his demeaner: his upright posture, the expression on his face that showed nothing but utmost satisfaction, from the look in his dark black eyes, which seemed impose an air of control on anything they looked at. His appearance, well-kept black hair, which was slicked back, sharp facial features, and clear skin. His black suit, which was adorned with jewels and gold. A multidate of pins were attached to his uniform, signs of his contributions to the world of magical engineering. From head to toe, every inch of his 6'5 figure was perfect. From where I stood at the bottom of the porch, his large form cast a shadow down upon me. Making me feel smaller, and more isolated then I already it.
Not once did his gaze turn to me.
Not once did he look past the three people gathered on the porch.
I cast my gaze downwards, clutching my wand tighter. The cool metal of the black sword the only thing able to calm me at the moment.
I felt like an outcast. Intruding upon a moment I didn't belong to.
A dot of black and white on an otherwise colorful picture.
"Is that your wand?" Mina asked in admiration. She slowly ran her finger through Kami's hair, all the way until she reached the butterfly hairpin in her hair. "Subtle but beautiful. No one would expect it either. Not to mention," Mina pointed to the same butterfly hairpins that she had in her own hair. "Would it be safe for me to assume..."
Kami nodded. "Yep."
At that moment, Takeru had arrived and joined in on the hug for a few seconds. When he opened his eyes, his gaze finally met mine. The expression on his face was that of....
I didn't know. All I knew was that it was much different from the gaze of affection that he had cast Kami.
"Sorry." I muttered as I cast my gaze downwards. He hadn't said anything, and yet I still submitted to him.
"Come inside, All of you." He stepped out of the way, motioning for everyone else to step inside. Standing side by side and locking arms, the three girls were about to enter the house, when Kami forced them to a stop. She then turned around, as if to direct everyone's gazes to me, who was still standing at the bottom of the porch.
Keeping a calm expression, she reached out a hand, inviting me to take it.
At that moment, 4 pairs of eyes were trained onto me. And there were undouble more who were looking down at the situation, other maids and servants who were spying in on us.
"Raiden..." My mother said quietly. She avoided my gaze the same way that I avoided hers. It had always been like that. Since I was young. Every time she looked at me, it was always with a twinge of pain, and regret. So eventually, at some point, she had stopped looking me in the eyes all together.
Mina on the other hand, smiled down warmly at me. It was a small grace, in the otherwise hopeless situation. I walked up the porch of the stairs, keeping my head facing downwards. Just as I was about to push Kami's hand away however, I felt the gaze of my father, burning straight into me. Unsaid, he commanded me to take her hand. To not push her aside.
And so, I did, I took her hand, and we entered the house. Kami's expression seemed to light up. Her smile brightened.
I wouldn't have been able to make her smile like that if it wasn't for my father's orders. It only served as concrete proof that I couldn't help Kami in any way that every really mattered. I couldn't quell her emotional troubles like everyone else seemed to be able too.
As we entered the house, we were greeted by a lavishly furnished and adorned lobby. It large and spread out in both directions. Everything was decorated in white and gold, a complete contrast from the black outside. In front of me, there were two spiraling staircases on the left and right, that intertwined with each other the higher they went up. There was a massive chandelier that hung from the roof, the size of a car. It was made of crystal and glass and illuminated the entire floor. Chairs that seemed to be made of gold laid around the lobby, surrounding a large coffee table, which was twice the size of your average dinner table.
On the left and right, the building branched out into a massive entertainment area with a large tv the size of a movie screen, and extremely comfortable and well-furnished couches. Just like our own home, the Chisaki estate held paintings. But they numbered in the hundreds, all different shapes and sizes. The one that drew my attention was one of the bigger ones. It was the same we had at home. The portrait of Kami.
All around, maids were moving around, whether it be cleaning, or rearranging items. The amount of them was staggering, and there were even more, working on the multiple different floors and sections of the home. A house of this size and grandeur would require more than just a few maids to keep it in order.
As I took in all of the familiar sights, I could not stop myself from being reminded of all of the memories of a younger me. One who would run around the house with Kami, annoying the maids and servants. The one who naïvely wanted to experience the outside world. A happier me. A freer me.
And a completely idealistic buffoon.
My own voice stopped the train of thought that I was about to fall into. All around me, the maids came to bow before Kami, showing their respect. She greeted them all graciously, sparking small conversations. On the other hand, they avoided my gaze, or gave stiff bows, before hurrying away.
Had it always been like that? Ha- My thoughts were interrupted by my mother's on scream of horror.
She was standing in front of Kami, and her eyes were trained on the bruise under her eye. Kami had used makeup to cover it to the best she could, but it was still noticeable. And now, under the bright lights of the chandelier, everyone could notice it.
And then, I could feel the accusing gazes turn to me.