Chereads / A F**ked Up Reincarnation / Chapter 23 - Chapter 23: What Does A Real Man Wish For!

Chapter 23 - Chapter 23: What Does A Real Man Wish For!

As an axe flew through the air, the sound of steel clashing rang out...

Beneath the axe were two beast-folk, one wielding a curved sword, the other wielding double axes.

"WHERE THE FUCK ARE THESE FUCKING AXES COMING FROM?!?"

"Fur."

At that moment Alp pinned one of his axes down, leaving his sword, and intended to go in for an axe kick but as he jumped Tiger threw the other axe to him.

"Tsch" he used wind magic with his left hand and redirected the axe out of the fight, then proceeded with his kick 

Just as his kick was about to land on tiger's neck, the mentioned axe fell into tiger's range, he grabbed the axe and blocked the kick. 

Thanks to alp's armor, he wasn't injured, rather he was impressed. He smirked and he backed up a few meters away.

"He really made me use my left hand and proceeded to not take any damage huh? You're an honorable warrior, what is the name bestowed by your parents?"

"Tigar" with a thick ahh voice.

"Such a unique name… I shall remember your name." Alp said as he thought 'How can ones name be that fucking lame?'

"Surely you will." He said while smirking… and slowly reaching inside his shirt.

Alp was annoyed, but he had shut up, remembering Eleanore was watching. Then he dived into Tigar's range and claimed his sword back, and Tigar unleashed downward slashes on to Alp using both of his axes. Alp parried them with a single slash using his momentum then fixed his posture. 

Tigar still hadn't fixed posture and at this rate his belly was going to be slashed open, but he had a plan. He dropped one of the axes and threw the other to Alp, using his 2 hands. Alp parried it off as expected but was distracted, which gave a moment for Tigar to reach for the two-handed axe on his back, The Axe, as he was pulling it out he said

"A truly worthy opponent, made me draw my The Axe, whats your name kiddo?"

''The fuck you mean, 'What's your name?' You'd even know my long-lost brother's name.''

''Sister actually.''

''Wa—'' He was interrupted by Tigar's not-so-slowly pulling an axe out of his shirt and throwing it.

After deflecting the axe, Alp had a brief moment to look at his father, who was sweating cold sweat, while talking to Alp's grandfather Alric.

"Hey, at least watch the battle," he shouted, annoyed by the situation.

In that brief moment, Tigar had threw two axes to air and charged with his The Axe. Alp furiously shouted, "Enough is enough!" and met Tigar's axe.

*CLANG!!!*

Alp was dragged back a few steps by the impact, and his eyes widened in surprise. Although he managed to hold the blow, his hand was trembling from the impact.

One of the airborne axes fell right between them, just before it landed Tigar dashed forward and kicked the axe towards Alp. 

Alp was going to deflect, but his instincts kicked in and he dodged it instead, and met Tigar's The Axe once more, this time his swung was harder. Which resulted in Alp getting disarmed, but he was lucky enough to change Tigar's axe's direction, causing it to stuck in the ground.

Tigar, holding his axe with both hands, which was stuck on the ground, momentarily raised his head and gave a smirk to Alp, who indeed had dropped his weapon with the impact of the blow, but there was some other type of uneasiness inside him.

Instinctively, he looked up and his eyes met with an axe, and although he jumped back instantly, it had cut across the left side of his face... He did not feel any pain due to the adrenaline rush, but his fear was visible in his eyes, which were wide open.

He was breathing heavily to calm himself down, but as his left eye was covered with his own blood, it stressed him even more.

"Hurrah!", ''Finish him!'', ''YEAAA!!'' The crowd began to chant for Tigar to kill Alp…

"I wish you had chosen to fight for us, instead of those people who are eager to see you die..." said Tigar, and after he pulled his axe out of the ground, he jumped towards Alp with all his might, causing the ground to collapse inward.

As the sound of the crowd echoed in his ears, a thousands of things went through Alp's mind... 'After all the years I fought for you?! How dare you, you arrogant assholes!" he looked up towards where the king was sitting, his grandfather looked genuinely worried, his father was watching with one hand on his chin with his usual cold stare, but Eleanore... she was not even looking in his direction...

'Dad! And Eleanore, do you really hate me that much?!'

Alp started furiously howling, his voice overpowering the entire noise of the crowd. His hair was getting longer and longer and his hands were turning into big claws...

*CLANG!!*

Alp parried Tigar's attack with his claw and pinned his axe to the ground, With his hand on his axe, he twisted and landed a spinning kick on Tigar.

Thrown back by the impact of the kick, leaving his axe behind, as Tigar was about to pull another axe out of his shirt, he saw Alp's claw a few inches away from his face, and even though he jumped back, Alp's attack was too wide.

Tigar was hit on the head, he fell to the ground shocked, Alp immediately jumped on him and with one claw pressed on his head to keep him from getting up, "You're not that tough now, are you, old man!''

Alp immediately picked up his sword that he had dropped next to Tigar and looked at the king.

"KILL! KILL!", "THAT'S IT!!!", "FINISH IT!'', ''WE WANT BLOOD! This time the crowd was cheering for Alp.

He closed his eyes, let out a sigh, turned his finger down and made a thumbs down, signaling Alp to finish him off…

''Finish it kiddo,'' said Tigar, ''I lost fair and square.''

Meanwhile, Alp managed to calm himself by taking a deep breaths.

''It was not fair, old man.'' Said Alp and put his sword on his neck, Tigar closed his eyes for his end.

*Swosh!*

Tigar's collar was thrown into the air. Tigar was surprised that he was still breathing, he opened his eyes and looked at Alp.

Alp shouted to the crowd, ''You ungrateful fucks! I ain't gonna kill this glorious warrior for peasants like y'all.'' He turned to the king and declared, ''He is my knight now! and apparently my knight actually knows how to fight, and he can't fucking cook!'' said and gave a dismissive glance to Eleanore.

"What?!" said Aurelius in a daze.

"Yeah, I can't fucking cook!" Tigar backed up to Alp.

"Neither can I!" Eleanore responded.

Alp looked down and quietly but firmly said, "Fuck!" and headed toward the arena exit.

Ignoring the boos from the audience, they reached the door. The guard at the door blocked their path and said,

"My prince by the king's order, you must--"

"Huh?!" they all interrupted in unison.

When the guard looked up and saw four mean-looking beast-folk looking down on him, he simply stepped aside and gestured that they can pass,

"P-please, your majesty." said in uneasy tone.

Grumbling, they left the arena...

"What was that all about?!", "Hey, I had placed a bet on this fight!", "So did I!", "We want our money back!!!" the audience started complaining.

"Yes, ladies and gentlemen! That was an unfortunate turn of events, and we apologize, but don't worry! We have another fight coming up!!" the announcer said.

"Two fights in a day?!", " A fight without bets?" the crowd started murmuring among themselves when another announcement came.

"We're taking a half-hour break now! Those who want to place bets should hurry up!"

Hearing this, majority of the audience rushed to the exit and headed toward the betting room...

*Half an Hour Later*

There were a total of three different groups in the arena. The group Satoshi was in had four people and looked like a gang of bandits at best. The second group consisted of three men in suits and one man dressed as a waiter, holding trays, pans, etc. The third group was a group of wizards with sunglasses; one wore a cloak decorated with stars and moons, another had flowers and bugs, and the other two had skull designs.

**GONG!!?!**

All three groups stared blankly in the direction the sound came from. After an uncomfortably long silence, the crowd began murmuring among themselves: "Hey, aren't they supposed to be fighting?'' ''What are we waiting for?" "This is really a fiasco today!"

The announcer stepped in and addressed the fighter groups: "Why aren't you fighting?!"

The groups looked at each other and remained silent. The announcer shouted again: "Hey, are none of you able to talk?! Say something!"

From the group of men in suits, the distinguished-looking man in the waiter outfit stepped forward, adjusted his bow tie, and began speaking: "Why should we attack each other just because you rang a bell, sir?" As he spoke, he gestured elegantly, drawing the crowd in with his aura.

The announcer yelled: "Because that's why you're here, idiots!"

"And?"

"What do you mean, 'and'? Fight!"

The waiter pointed to the three gentlemen behind him and said, "I was preparing a meal for these three gentlemen in my kitchen. They are great admirers of mine and were watching me work. As we passed through the kitchen door to bring the food to their table, we suddenly found ourselves among some cosplayers, and a man dressed like a king said, 'Throw them in the dungeon!' That's how we ended up here. At first, it was all amusing, but now you're starting to get annoying, sir. This whole role-playing scenario is getting really tiresome, and now you expect us to barbarically attack each other? Ah, what a disappointment. Honestly, where is humanity heading...?"

Everyone in the arena was captivated by the man's gestures and speech, listening without questioning, until the announcer interrupted: "HEY, HEY!? Stop already!!"

"Tsch, tsch,tsch. And now you're interrupting me, how rude." 

The announcer looked at the king, who gave him a gesture of approval, and continued: "What do you want, then? Speak!"

The waiter adjusted his glasses and replied, "Excuse me?"

"I'm asking you what you desire in this world. Speak, and if you defeat the other two groups, it will be yours!"

"Hah! What an ignorant comment! You're telling me you'll give us whatever we want, just like that? How do you even know you possess what I desire?"

"Just say it already, damn it!"

"Although your rude behavior is getting on my nerves, I'll ignore it... Very well then, the thing I want most in this world... hmm..."

...

"Just speak already!"

''Imagine a perfectly roasted leg of lamb, its golden-brown skin glistening with a thin layer of melted butter, crackling slightly as it cools. The scent of rosemary, thyme, and garlic wafts through the air, making your mouth water. A delicate drizzle of honey glaze coats the surface, giving it a slight sweetness that caramelizes just enough to create a crispy, sticky texture. The tender, juicy meat beneath the surface pulls apart effortlessly, revealing layers of succulent flesh, bursting with flavor.

Steam rises as you cut into it, each slice releasing a heavenly aroma, a blend of herbs and slow-roasted perfection. The glaze shimmers under the light, inviting you closer, as if promising that the first bite will transport you to another realm entirely. The richness of the lamb, combined with the subtle sweetness of the glaze, creates a taste so divine, it lingers in your mind long after the meal is over, leaving you craving just one more bite.''

The announcer's accent changed, and he responded, 

"So you want food!" 

"Sir, I am not just talking about fo—" 

"What about the rest of you? What do you want?" 

From the wizard group, the one in the flower-patterned cloak stepped forward, grabbing one of the skull-patterned cloaked wizards by the collar and whispering something in his ear. Then, the skull-patterned wizard spoke up, 

"We want a tank!" 

"What? A tenk?! What is that?" 

"What do you mean, what's a tank, you ignorant dog!" 

"We don't have that, ask for something else!" 

"Fine, then a bomber plane!" 

"We don't know that either!" 

"An AK-47." 

"Huh? NO!" 

"Hand grenade." 

"Nope." 

"If you don't have this or that, what do you even have?! We want explosions!" 

"If it's explosions you want, we've got magical stones and powders!" 

The wizards whispered among themselves, and the skull-patterned one stepped forward again and asked, 

"Are you talking about gunpowder?" 

"No, for god's sake, what's wrong with today's fighters, they asking strange thing… What happened to fighters that seeks fame and gold?" 

The flower-patterned wizard touched the skull-patterned one's shoulder, stepped forward with a deep voice, and said, 

"Then we want a cloak with butterfly patterns!" 

"FUCK YEAAAAAAAAAH!!" shouted the skull-patterned wizard. 

The announcer raised an eyebrow and asked, "That's all you want?" 

As the flower-patterned wizard nodded, the other skull-patterned one in the back said,

"Guys, are you serious? Is that really what you wanted? I hardly accepted that our leader wears flowered cloak but seriously where the hell did the butterfly come from? Guys come on are you secretly gay or something?"

All three wizards turned to him and said in unison,

"Shut the fuck up, Jacob!" 

Then the announcer turned to Satoshi's group and flinched. 

Satoshi stood among the other three bandit-looking men, grinning menacingly like their leader. The announcer asked nervously, 

"And w-what do you want?" 

The other bandits were sweating nervously as they looked at Satoshi's grin, too scared to speak. Satoshi's smile widened, and with his eyes closed he began pointing at each milf in the arena, the announcer couldn't make sense of this behavior and asked

"Excuse me?" 

"Isn't it obvious what I want?! Do you think I'm as shallow as these guys, only asking for food or clothing? Of course not! I want a MILF!" 

"It wasn't just fo—" The waiter tried to interject, but was cut off again as the flower-patterned wizard entered with his deep voice. 

"How dare you insult the sweet cloaks! A MILF, huh? I wonder who's really shallow here."

''YOU!''

''Explain it then!''

Satoshi stood firm, glaring at the flower-patterned wizard who dared challenge him. His smile faded as he dramatically raised one hand, gesturing to the sky. The entire arena went silent, waiting for him to speak.

"You call me shallow?" Satoshi's voice boomed. "You, with your butterfly cloaks and roasted lamb? Let me enlighten you. If you truly want that roasted leg of lamb, then I ask you—where do you find the perfect chef? A master of flavors, a queen of the kitchen, a connoisseur of seasoning? I'll tell you where!" He paused, letting the tension build. "A MILF! The only one who can cook with love, devotion, and unparalleled skill!"

The waiter's eyes widened as he stepped back, suddenly uncertain of his request. "A... a chef MILF?" he muttered, as if the concept had just unlocked a secret part of his soul.

Satoshi continued, his hand now pointing toward the wizards. "And you, you dare to ask for a cloak? You believe a mere cloak with a butterfly pattern will fulfill your desires? No, my misguided friend. If you truly wish for a cloak that radiates warmth, that wraps around you like the embrace of a loving mother, there is only one answer: you need a MILF—a knitting MILF! One who weaves each stitch with the threads of care, nurturing, and motherly love."

The skull-patterned wizard's mouth hung open as his cloak flapped in the wind. "A... a knitting MILF... Yes," he whispered, eyes wide with realization.

Satoshi spun around dramatically, raising both arms as he addressed the entire arena. "MILFs, my friends, are not just women. They are the foundation of greatness! Chefs! Tailors! Warriors! And yet they do it all with the warmth, the wisdom, the passion that only a MILF can bring! You ask for food, clothing, and power? Or fame? I ask for the source of it all!"

A roar of applause erupted from the crowd. Even the announcer, struggling to maintain composure, seemed impressed.

The waiter, his face flushed, stepped forward again, his voice quivering. "I... I was wrong. I don't just want a roasted leg of lamb... I need a chef MILF to prepare it for me... with love."

The wizards, overwhelmed by the gravity of Satoshi's words, exchanged glances. The skull-patterned one nodded vigorously. "Yes, yes! We need MILFs! Not just any cloaks, but ones made by loving hands!"

The flower-patterned wizard stepped forward, his deep voice trembling with newfound understanding. "I want... I want a MILF too... One who can make my cloak... and make me feel whole again."

One by one, the crowd began chanting, "MILFs! MILFs! MILFs!" The intensity of Satoshi's speech had ignited a fire in their hearts.

Satoshi, with a satisfied smirk, crossed his arms and nodded as the arena drowned in chants of admiration for his request. Even the king, baffled and unsure how to respond, simply clapped along.

The announcer curiously asked to Satoshi, "So what kind of milf do you want?

Satoshi laughed hysterically and was about to speak…