As Satoshi's voice echoed beautifully throughout the arena, the tension between Jabbar and Alfred kept rising.
After shouting, "Fiftius hundrutus voltus attackus!" Jabbar pulled out a taser and fired it.
Alfred blocked the attack with a cutting board that he pulled from nowhere, and with elegant wrist movements, the string attached to the weapon began to wrap around itself. Alfred kept spinning it so fast that the tangled string caused the electricity to backfire, and Jabbar was hit by the shock.
After trembling from head to toe, Jabbar finally dropped the weapon from his hand and collapsed to the ground. A tear appeared in his eye as he hit the ground, he hugged to the sand like a child clinging to their mother in longing. Shortly after, Jabbar stood up and composed himself, then with his deep voice said, "Huh, good move, Alfredo!"
Alfred straightened his bow tie and responded, "My name is Alfred, and is that really the best you've got?"
Jabbar said, "Looks like it's time to get serious!" and shouted the name of a new spell, "Beholdus Ius smokeus spellus castus actuallus itus justus powderussss!" He threw smoke bombs to the ground and disappeared behind the smoke.
Alfred, calmly observing the situation, couldn't believe his eyes when the smoke cleared. Jabbar had actually disappeared. Where was he? Alfred immediately took his pan and assumed a defensive stance, quickly adjusting his glasses.
After a five-minute break, Satoshi's song finally ended, and he was sitting off to the side chatting with the other band members. Meanwhile, the waiter was still on guard, scanning his surroundings. Voices started to emerge from the crowd.
"Should we tell him?" "Come on, what's the point of this?" "Do something already, stupid wizard!" were some of the murmurs.
Jacob started whispering behind him,
"Boss, how long are you gonna stay there? The audience is starting to grumble."
Jabbar, crouching like a little girl with her head down behind Jacob, replied,
"Shh, I'm not here."
"Boss, you know there are spectators behind us too, right?"
"I know, but I didn't think this far ahead when I cast the spell. Normally, after casting this spell, there's always something I can hide behind and sneak up on the opponent. But here we are in a wide-open arena. I felt so proud when Alfredo looked shocked, but now I'm too embarrassed to show myself."
The other wizard with the skull-patterned sleeve joined the conversation, whispering,
"Boss, why didn't you say something earlier? I got you!" He pulled a gas bomb from his sleeve and threw it toward the waiter's group.
After the smoke erupted, Jabbar emerged from behind Jacob and he somersaulted all the way behind them.
*Cough, cough cough*
Once the smoke cleared, the waiter, covering his mouth with his arm, pulled it away from his face and said,
"So, one of your members can cast spells without the magic words, interesting…"
The skull-patterned wizard wore a proud expression...
Jabbar cleared his throat to draw attention to himself. The group turned around in surprise, scrambling to position themselves against his next move.
Jabbar then slowly pulled a rocket launcher from his sleeve and, after uttering his magical words, fired it. "Behold my ultimate magic! EXPLOOOOOOOOSION!" "-us I mean explosionus, I remember that line from somewhere…"
Alfred casually parried the attack and smirked. Jabbar couldn't believe his eyes—his opponent had easily deflected his ultimate attack. He collapsed to his knees and asked,
"H-how did you know?"
"Know what, sir?"
"How did you read my attack so well? That's what I'm asking!"
Alfred shook his head in disappointment and answered, "I must admit, I was surprised at first. Disappearing after your smoke spell was a clever move, but was it really necessary to draw attention to yourself after you snuck up behind us? I understand that y'all are an amateur cosplay group, but at least practice some sensible moves. Even theatergoers would complain about the illogicality of the attack. Putting that aside, don't you think these weapons are a bit dangerous just for a play? I mean, a rocket launcher? Are you serious?"
"So that's how it is... He truly read me like a book. What a brilliant battle mind this man has!"
"Sir, are you even listening to me? I didn't read anything. You told me your attacks. You even cleared your throat to draw attention to yourself. Come on!"
"Oh, so he used his super-hearing ability to hear the rumbling in my throat and detect me! I never stood a chance from the beginning!"
"Sir!"
As Jabbar spread his arms wide, he said, "I'm ready! Finish it!"
As Alfred tossed a croissant into the air, preparing to finish Jabbar off with a strike from his pan, he noticed the grin on Jabbar's face and realized something was wrong…
Turning his head, he saw that Jabbar's group was nowhere to be found. Where were they? Suddenly, the ground rumbled, and a Neubaufahrzeug model tank emerged from beneath the sand, right in front of Jabbar. Apparently a mythical creature had been summoned by the wizard group.
The croissant hit the tank and fell to the ground as Jabbar's laughter echoed through the arena.
Jabbar climbed onto the tank and, after getting inside, shouted to Alfred, "Let's see if you can block this one!"
Alfred was ready to parry the tank's shots, but an unexpected move came from the wizards—they turned the tank's turret backward and fired to accelerate. The tank was now charging towards Alfred at high speed...
Alfred reached one hand behind him and held the pan in front of him like a sword, his stance impeccable.
"I can't believe my eyes, he's done it again!" The announcer's voice rang out as the entire crowd in the arena stood up and started cheering. Yes, Alfred had done it again, parrying the tank, which was now spinning through the air, rising higher and higher.
Alfred's group once again offered him slow, supportive claps...
The tank reached a certain height and then began to fall. Alfred was ready to parry it again but, according to his calculations, the tank wouldn't fall on him, so he lowered his guard.
*BOOM!*
Alfred's eyes widened in horror. His calculations were correct—the tank hadn't landed on him. But he hadn't expected it to fall on his distinguished dressed supporters.
As a single tear elegantly rolled down Alfred's cheek, he saw someone crawling out of the tank—it was Jabbar...
*Cough, cough*
Jabbar had a proud grin on his face. "You didn't see that coming, did you?" he asked.
Alfred let out a "Tsch!" and said, "Don't pretend like you planned it! It was pure luck that you landed on them!"
Jabbar smirked and said, "You think so!"
"What do you mean?"
"While we were spinning in the air, we fired at intervals to change the direction the tank would fall! We knew you could parry us again but you didn't expect us to attack your group, that's why you were unprepared, Alfred... Oh, we owe it to you for making us to not announce our moves earlier—turns out we can catch you off guard when we don't shout out our attacks!"
"So, what you're saying is... this was my fault? Their deaths?"
"Haha, exactly!"
Alfred clenched his fist and said, "It's time to get serious, Jabbar Al-Qudraman Ibn Zahirul Hakim Qasim El-Raheemi Othman Al-Muntaqim!"
"Oho, so you're finally not calling me 'Mr.' Alfredo!"
"That's right."
Then, Alfred drew the most absurd sword mankind could produce. Its hilt was made of frog legs, the sheath was made of a pigeon, and the blade was massive croissant.
Jabbar stared at the ridiculous sword in disbelief and said, "This is why people don't like your people!"
"And by 'your people' who exactly do you reffering, Jabbar Al-Qudraman Ibn Zahirul Hakim Qasim El-Raheemi Othman Al-Muntaqim?"
"You know, you people!"
"No, I don't understand, Jabbar Al-Qudraman Ibn Zahirul Hakim Qasim El-Raheemi Othman Al-Muntaqim. Who do you mean by 'you people'?"
"Uh, no one!"
"Then get ready, I'm coming!"
"Oho, announcing your attack? That's so unlike you. Could it be that you're learning from us?!" Jabbar said as he pulled out something resembling a laser sheath…
Alfred had entered Jabbar's range, and swung his croissant sword to decapitate him. Just before the blow landed, Jabbar smiled and pressed the button on his sheath, revealing it wasn't just a laser sheath—it was a lightsaber sheath.
The lightsaber cut the upper part of Alfred's sword, but in a twist of fate, the severed piece flew straight into Jabbar's mouth. And while he didn't look like someone who had spent 30 years on the streets, he definitely seemed like he'd spent at least 15.
Ugh, gugh, glup, glguggugugug...
As the crowd roared with laughter at Jabbar's bizarre death scene, Satoshi was having a PTSD episode. His mind drifted back to Vietnam in his flashbacks, but we'll skip over that part for now...
As Jabbar's vision dimmed, he thought to himself, "You should have stuck with the pan. Maybe one of us would have survived…"
The lightsaber wasn't just straight—it curved diagonally downward after extending, and that curve had pierced Alfred's heart.
When Jabbar collapsed to the ground, the lightsaber shut off. Alfred looked down and touched the area where his heart was. His hand was covered in blood. As he took his last breath, he said,
"Ahh… a gentleman's end shouldn't have been like this."
Looking at Jabbar lying on the ground, he continued, "Now I understand who you were talking about, 'Boss'—I mean seriously, who the fuck would eat a pigeon anyway...?"