As the gym emptied out for the next class, Emma made his way to the nurse's office, his legs feeling heavy, his heart still not settling into a normal rhythm. He knew the routine by now: after any episode in PE, he had to check in with Nurse Evans. It was standard protocol, but today, he dreaded the conversation.
The office was quiet, the faint hum of the air conditioner buzzing in the background. A brick accent wall with drawings from prior students. Nurse Evans, a kind-eyed man with graying hair, looked up from his desk as Emma walked in.
"Hey there, Emma. How are we feeling today?" he asked gently, already getting up from his chair. Emma sat down on the cushioned chair, avoiding eye contact.
"Same as usual," he muttered, though he knew she could see through it. Nurse Evans picked up Emma's file and pulled out his stethoscope.
"Alright, let's have a listen." He pressed the cool metal to his chest, frowning slightly as he listened.
"Hmm," he said after a moment.
"Your heart rate is a little fast and irregular, and you're looking paler than usual. You sure you're feeling 'the same as usual'?" Emma forced a smile, even though his chest still felt tight.
"Yeah, I mean… I just overdid it in CE… no-... sorry… PE… It'll pass… It always does…" He tried to sound casual, but the concern in Nurse Evans' eyes told him he wasn't buying it.
He sat back down at his desk and scribbled a note in his file.
"Emma, I've been monitoring you for a while now, and it seems like your heart episodes are becoming more frequent. We need to think about adjusting your activity level—or at least consider talking to your cardiologist about it." Emma swallowed hard, his mind racing. He knew he was right, but the last thing he wanted was to go home and tell Alex and Sarah. He couldn't bear the look of worry that would come over them—the same look they had every time he had a doctor's appointment or needed a hospital stay.
"I—I'll talk to my doctor," Emma said quickly, hoping to dodge the inevitable.
"But, I don't want to worry my Dad and Sarah about this right now… They've got enough going on, and I'm doing fine." Nurse Evans leaned forward, his expression softening.
"I get it, Emma. I do. But they're your family, and they want to be there for you. You don't have to carry this all by yourself." Emma's chest tightened again, but this time it wasn't just his heart—it was the weight of the guilt he felt. He wanted to protect them, to not be a burden.
"I just… I don't want them to worry. They'll freak out if I tell them things are getting worse." Nurse Evans sighed, his voice gentle.
"They'll worry because they love you, Emma. It's okay to let them in. You're not going through this alone." Emma nodded, though he wasn't sure he believed him.
"I'll think about it," he said quietly, hoping that would end the conversation. Nurse Evans gave him a soft smile, though his eyes were still filled with concern.
"Just promise me you'll take care of yourself, alright? And if anything feels off, you come straight to me. No pushing through."
"Yeah, I promise," Emma said, even though he knew deep down that wasn't a promise he could always keep.
As he left the office, the weight of his secret sat heavy on his shoulders. He knew he couldn't hide the truth forever, but for now, he just wasn't ready to bring it up to Alex and Sarah. Not yet.
-----
The bus hummed beneath him as it rumbled along the road, the low drone of the engine vibrating through the seat. Emma leaned his head against the window, watching the world blur past, earbuds tucked in tight. The music played softly, the beat syncing with the rhythm of his heart—faster than usual, but steady enough to keep his worry at bay. For now.
The lyrics of the song seemed to float past him without sticking, just noise to fill the silence. It wasn't enough to drown out his thoughts though. 'What am I gonna tell them?'
His eyes drifted to the other kids on the bus, chatting and laughing, completely absorbed in their own little worlds. None of them had any idea what he was dealing with, and he liked it that way. He didn't want the extra stares, the endless "Are you okay?" questions. His friends meant well, but even they didn't fully get it. They couldn't.
Emma rubbed a hand over his chest, the dull ache from earlier still lingering beneath the surface. 'Do I even need to tell them?' He thought back to what Nurse Evans had said. Maybe it really was getting worse. But every time he pictured Alex and Sarah's faces, the looks of panic and concern that would flood their eyes, he felt like he was suffocating.
The bus hit a bump in the road, jolting him out of his thoughts for a second. He adjusted his backpack in his lap, absently tapping his fingers against the strap in time with the music. 'Maybe I'll just tell them I had a normal day. No need to freak them out.'
But deep down, Emma knew it wasn't that simple. He couldn't hide this forever. At some point, they were going to have to know. And with the way things were going, that time might come sooner than he wanted.
'But what if they can't handle it? What if they start looking at me like… like I'm fragile again?' He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to will away the thought, but it clung to him stubbornly. His chest tightened, not from his heart this time, but from the weight of everything.
When the bus finally pulled up to his stop, Emma sighed, pulling out his earbuds and stuffing them into his pocket. He stood up slowly, his legs still feeling heavy from PE earlier, but he ignored it, stepping off the bus and into the cool afternoon air.
The walk home felt longer than usual, his mind still swirling with indecision. 'Tell them? Don't tell them?' By the time he reached his front door, he still hadn't made up his mind.
Emma paused, his hand on the door handle, taking a deep breath. 'I'll figure it out when I'm inside.'
But as he pushed open the door, the weight in his chest only grew heavier. The door creaked softly as Emma stepped inside, the smell of something savory filling the air. The familiar sounds of home—Sarah moving around in the kitchen, Alex typing on his laptop in the living room—wrapped around him like a warm blanket. For a second, he considered letting it go. Pretending everything was fine. But that feeling in his chest wouldn't let him.
"Hey, Emma? Welcome back home! Dinner's in a bit," Sarah called from the kitchen, her voice cheerful. He nodded, though she couldn't see him, and dropped his backpack by the door. Alex looked up from the couch, catching Emma's eye.
"Hey, kid. How was school?" His tone was casual, but there was an undertone of curiosity, as if he sensed something was off. Emma hesitated, lingering in the entryway for a moment too long.
"It was fine," Emma mumbled. His heart thudded a little harder, making it hard to focus. 'Should I just tell him now?' He glanced over at the kitchen, then back at Alex.
"Can we talk?" The words came out before he could stop them. Alex's expression shifted immediately, his focus softens. He set his laptop aside, motioning for him to sit on the couch.
"Of course. Everything alright?" Emma swallowed hard