Alex exhales and looks at the ceiling. He's been doing that a lot recently. The baby monitor sat on the table beside him. Alex's phone lights up with several notifications from his old friends group chat.
'Hey guys, let's go out for coffee this afternoon'
'Yeah!'
Alex blankly stares at the screen, torn. He glances at the baby monitor as Emma sleeps calmly in his crib. Alex feels guilty as he types and sends his response.
'Sry, can't make it tonight… I'm busy'
'What's up? You never come to anything with us anymore'
'Yeah, everything okay, Alex?'
'I just… Adopted a son the other day and now I'm busy caring for it-'
'A. Wait—you have a child now?! DUDE! And B. Why not just get a babysitter?'
'Good point… what's his name? Get a babysitter for them'
'His name's Emma… I'm not his biological father and I found him on my front porch… and as of current I can't afford one'
'And you can afford a house?'
'Alex?'
"Alex, where'd you go?'
Alex puts his phone back down. The chat moved on without him. Discussing the outing once again. Alex feels left behind, staring at his phone but unable to reconnect to the carefree life he once knew. Their words stung more than he'd expected. If only it were that simple… The remarks of his friends' sting as Emma starts crying again. Alex exhales and stands up.
------
A knock echoes on the front door. Alex walked over and unlocked it.
"Sarah? You came to visit?" Sarah looks down on the front doorstep.
"You've been so distant lately… the others know you have a child… but… I grew up taking care of my younger siblings because my parents were always working… I know how hard it can be…" As Sarah stepped inside, Alex realized just how worn out he was. The trash, the clutter, it all blurred together in his mind. He hadn't had time to breathe, let alone clean up. Maybe this was what hitting rock bottom felt like. They sit on the couch in silence. The loneliness hitting Alex hard as the silence is deafening. Sarah looks around.
"You haven't taken out the trash recently… It smells here…" She trailed off, glancing around.
"I'm not judging, Alex, I know it's hard. Really… Are you okay?" Alex looks away and Sarah rests her hand on Alex's arm.
"Hey… I know this is rough for you… We're all trying to figure out how to be the same we used to be while taking care of Emma… and you owe me a glance at Emma, it's only fair…" Alex sighs.
"Yeah, it's… I feel like I've lost all my friends… I barely see anyone anymore… I can't relate to anything the group is doing anymore… It's like I don't even recognize my life anymore… I scroll through my phone, see all their messages, and it feels like a different world. Like I've been left behind… Taking care of Emma… trying to figure out what went wrong-" Sarah rests her hand on Alex's shoulder.
"You did nothing wrong, Alex… you coulda left that baby to freeze cold… but you took him in and accepted guardian duties for him… you're doing exactly what you're supposed to to give Emma the life he deserves" Alex looks down.
"If… you wouldn't mind… helping me by babysitting every so often so i could have a break here or there?" Sarah's eyes light up.
"I'd love to help, Alex. Whether it's babysitting, or just sitting with you when it all feels too much—whatever you need… How old is he?" cries suddenly fill the house as Alex walks to the bedroom. As Alex lifted Emma from the crib, the room seemed to soften. His tiny fingers curled in the blanket, his cries quieting into soft whimpers as Alex held him close. When Sarah took him into her arms, her smile widened, and for the first time that day, Alex felt like maybe, just maybe, he wasn't alone in this.
"He's about a month old now… Emma Baker…" Sarah smiles.
"I'd love to babysit him for you… if it means you can return to your usual cheerful self" Alex nods and calmly smiles as Emma stops crying.
"Thanks…"