The car stops just a few steps away from Pan's house. The night has fallen deep, and the neighborhood is silent.
Pan slowly grabs her bag from under the passenger seat and gets ready to leave the car when Cray stops her.
"I'll walk you home. There's no way I'll let you walk alone," he says.
"Calm down, Cray. He doesn't know where I live," Pan politely declines. But instead of listening, Cray quickly unbuckles his seat belt, opens the door, and gets out. He jogs to the passenger side and opens the door for Pan.
With a sigh, Pan steps out of the car.
"Thanks, Cray..."
Again, he stops her.
"I'll walk you home."
"Cray, there's no need to be anxious—"
Pan can't finish her words. She feels suffocated when Cray squeezes her tightly in his embrace. He caresses her hair gently and buries his face in her neck.
"I nearly lost you today. If I hadn't passed by the bus stop, you might be dead now," says Cray.
"That thought is a bit too much, don't you think?" Pan pushes Cray away a bit and makes him look at her. She tilts her head and slowly rolls down his hands from around her waist.
"Look at your condition, Pan. Look at these bruises! How can I not think the worst?" Cray brushes his finger over the corner of Pan's lips.
"P'Lam won't kill me. He'd be at a loss if he did."
"Why are you being so optimistic about all this?" Cray frowns.
"My life has been a mess since I was born. A father who died because of overdosed. A mother who's a gambling addict. And a useless brother who's not only a junkie but a scammer as well," says Pan.
"I never really had a proper life until I got Shu. Before that, my life was surrounded by people who were supposed to protect me," Pan sighs deeply. "These bruises you see, they're nothing. I've had worse. My brother sold me to his friend. And my mother allowed it. That's even worse than all of this," tears brim in her eyes.
Again, Cray pulls Pan into his embrace, trying to share her pain. Her voice sounds hopeless, as if there's no hope left in her life.
"Pan... I want to protect you," Cray whispers. "But how can I, when you build a wall between us?"
"I'm a mess, Cray. I'm broken. And being with me is hell. I can't blend well with people, I have nothing but my stupid optimistic mind, which is useless," Pan pushes Cray away a bit. She stares at him, the man who has everything: a perfect family, a perfect life, and a perfect future.
"So, you think broken people don't deserve to be healed? That's unfair, Pan. Everyone is broken from time to time. Should we just let them crash down and die?" Cray's question stops Pan in her tracks.
"I can't promise you everything unless you try and open up, Pan. I mean it when I say I want to protect you. Give me a chance. Come to me, Pan! Walk into my life so I can protect you and Shu."
Cray cups Pan's chin softly. He stares deep into her eyes, which hold so much pain he might be clueless about. But he's willing to swim in the dreadful sea to prove how much he loves the girl standing in front of him now.
Pan is stunned, collecting her thoughts and calculating everything. Cray, the man who has never hurt her. Even if he did, he quickly apologized. Selfless and sensitive. Protective. He represents stability for her future.
What does he lack, to be honest?
Slowly, Pan grabs his long fingers and entwines them with hers. She gives Cray a faint smile, with tears rolling down her cheeks.
"I'm not perfect, Cray..."
"I don't want just your perfection! I want all of you," Cray replies. Pan shuts her eyes for a moment, then softly nods. Cray smiles and pulls her closer.
"I'll protect you at all costs, Pan. I promise," Cray murmurs, looking up at the night sky filled with shining stars.
***
Pan enters the house as quietly as a mouse. Shu is probably sleeping peacefully in bed with Mei. She informed her friend about the incident and asked her to entertain Shu until she got home. But she was delayed at the hospital and ended up coming home late.
Pan tiptoes to the kitchen and rummages through the fridge for an ice pack. When she finds it, she carefully places it on her bruised lips to ease the swelling. As she dabs the pack, suddenly the light illuminates the kitchen.
Zee stands there, looking at her calmly.
"Ouch!" Pan grunts in pain, feeling the sharp icy sensation and jumping at Zee's presence.
"Mei told me what happened..."
"Everything's fine, Zee..."
"Did you file a report?"
"No."
Zee sighs. He marches over, snatches the ice pack from her hand, and helps her dab the bruise. They go silent for a long time. Pan can't talk while Zee is dabbing her lips, and even Zee stays silent.
After a while, Zee moves the ice pack to the corner of Pan's left eye. He carefully dabs it while locking eyes with her. They keep staring at each other.
And it's a lie if Pan says her heart isn't shaking.
"Cray is a nice man," Zee suddenly says. Pan keeps looking at him, but she is obviously shocked. Instead of questioning him, she stays silent.
Softly, Zee's hand moves away from Pan. He puts the ice pack in the sink and stares at her again.
"Are you happy?" Zee asks.
"What do you mean?" she replies.
Zee brushes off the question. Instead, he gathers Pan's front hair, takes a hair clip from her bag, and ties them together, revealing her face. He studies her face attentively.
A face he misses a lot.
"I know I've been asking a lot from you. But... for the last time, can you grant me two wishes?" Zee asks calmly. Pan nods softly.
Zee blinks slowly, watching the woman standing before him with a bleeding heart. He recalls overhearing the conversation between Pan and Cray. It's inevitable for him to realize he should give up on her.
A few days ago at the bar soap workshop, Zee was greedy towards Pan. He thought maybe he could ask her to start over. He wanted to work hard to get back to her. He wanted her. He loved her.
But what happened to Pan makes him reflect on his decision. He realizes he can't give her security like Cray. He's a red flag who would end up caging Pan instead of protecting and loving her. His life is a mess too.
So, where is the love Pan deserves? She might not be happy with him.
It's time for Zee to let her go, this time for good.
"I want you to be happy with any decision you make in the future, Pan," there's turbulence in Zee's deeper emotion, but he holds it. "Because nothing is more important than your happiness," he continues.
"I'll be happy, don't worry," Pan replies, unaware of the teardrop falling from her eye. Zee can't go further anymore. He backs off, grabs his bag, and gets ready to leave.
"Zee... you have one more wish!" Pan stops him. Zee takes a deep breath, wiping away the tears from his eyes. He musters every emotion inside and turns around to face Pan one more time.
"Please don't stop me from seeing Shu. You know I almost have no one in my life. I only have Ylang, Ta, and Bear..." his voice chokes. "With Shu, I feel complete. So, I hope you can at least let me feel happiness, even a small fragment from her," says Zee.
Pan chokes in sadness. She feels guilty for hiding the truth from Zee. But the fear of losing Shu blinds her heart. She feels conflicted.
But in the end, Pan is not a vicious person.
"You can meet her anytime you want if she makes you feel happy," says Pan.
Zee looks down, revealing a smile behind his sorrowful face. Then, he braces himself and walks away from the house, leaving Pan standing there with tears rolling down her cheeks.