I laid it my bed reminiscing on the events of the day. I was the happiest I'd ever been in my life, everything was like a dream. 'Love how it changes us.' I scanned the room, observing the worn desk, the books, the little trinkets I had and finally Lukehiem's empty bed. He'd been going out for days now. I wasn't sure where he went, he assured me he was close by but any attempt to find him in the orphanage and the surrounding vicinity resulted in failure.
I'd tried waiting up for him, hoping to catch a glimpse of him, maybe question him a bit more. But I wasn't one for late nights, the longest I'd gone awake was a bit past 2am then the sleep washed over me like a storm. I would wake up to a dozing Luke in bed every morning, it worried me I was very compelled to report the situation to Miss Adelaide but I couldn't, I couldn't break my best friends trust, I couldn't tell on him, besides what ever project he was working on seemed very important to him. Important enough for him to forgo sleep, I wonder how he did that, go days without sleep and still be functional at least semi functional, he wasn't well known for being well collected when interacting with other people, a part of him always seemed to be in the clouds, thinking or reminiscing on whatever it is he did.
Enough about Luke, I had much more interesting matters to think about. Rebecca, my beloved sunburst. She's like a radiant wave of warm sunshine that casts a healing light on all those opportuned to behold it. I relished everything about her, every experience I shared with her, her voice, her passionate eyes, her inviting scent, her warm embrace. Gods I was in love and deeply so. Was I scared, most definitely but that's the fun part about love, it comforts, it makes you feel safe, it assures you. Luke was still skeptical or rather he had disregarded the subject entirely, he did have a point though maybe it was a bit stupid to get this attached this early in my life. But I would do everything to fight the odds, I wanted her more than anything else.
I still remember the first day I saw her, it was noon just after an algebra class, she was by her locker speaking to a friend and the only thought that crossed my mind at the time was 'Warm'. Yes, warm she felt so warm, approachable, charismatic. I shyed away instantly, I never let her eyes meet mine and it stayed that way for many months. I think I knew what her eyes would do to me so I avoided them while still very discretely stealing glances at her.
She became harder to avoid as time passed, due to her sociable nature we shared a lot of friends in common. I saw her more often, I glanced at her more frequently, my restraint slipped as days passed. I remember trying to remedy the situation by sitting with Luke on days that I couldn't handle being around her in the cafeteria. Luckily Luke was utterly oblivious, he'd eat his food and stare at his tray like always, it saved me the extra embarrassment.
I did pretty well up to that point, I even assumed I could handle the situation until I graduated, maybe remember it in the future as a silly crush and laugh about about it. Then one day my fantasies came to an abrupt halt, I was sitting with my friends at the cafeteria, everything was as usual, then the unusual happened.
Rebecca walked into the cafeteria with all her accompanying warmth, grace, it flooded me. Avoiding looking at her proved impossible, how could I she was walking right up to me. My eyes followed every movement, the way her hips swayed, her long powerful strides, 'Beautiful, absolutely Beautiful.' She stopped right in front me.
"Hey Tobias." It was a simple greeting really, it's shameful how much of an impact it had on me. "Good morning, Rebecca." I tried to reply as cool as possible, but I didn't have the slightest idea how so I just took a page out Luke's book. I still didn't meet her eyes utter cowardice spread through my being. She sat right beside me, before promptly engaging in conversation with the others at the table. The nerves were getting to me, I could barely concentrate on what was being said, the closeness offered new sensations, new stimulus that I normally wasn't privy to. Like her scent, the color of her hair and much more. I needed a distraction so I looked at Luke, staring as hard as I could in his direction. After what felt like ages he finally looked up from his plate and stared at me, it was a blank stare, emotionless, distracted, 'You're never helpful when I need you to be.' Honestly what was I expecting from him.
"Tobias is something wrong you seem tense." She said with a smug edge to her voice. I couldn't help it any longer I looked into her eyes just to figure out the emotion there. It was a horrible mistake and it signalled my coming doom. Her gaze said it all, she knew. She knew the effect she had on me, how much her closeness bothered me. She knew all this and she was happy about it. 'That doesn't make any sense, she couldn't possibly be happy.' "Tobias eyes up here." she said gesturing to her eyes. 'Shit.' I was so deep in thought I avoided her eyes again and stared at her chest. But even still when I looked up all I saw was happy smile. "You should stop frowning, whatever it is you're thinking about you can tell me maybe I can help." She said as she tucked some strands of my hair behind my ear.
It was becoming too much for me to handle, so did what any other man would have done in my situation. I ran, I left the table and ran out of the cafeteria but not before dragging Lukehiem with me. I stopped in front of my locker, breathing in a mouth full of air, Luke the oblivious bloke just stared at me confusion clouding his face. "Everything okay Tobias?" He said after some minutes. "Yeah everything's good just needed to catch some air and I thought it would do you some good." I replied irritation leaking into my voice. "Cool." That all he said before staring of into space again.
We stood there, the fresh air helped me to organize my thoughts. 'So where do I go from here.' She smiled at me, a sincerely welcoming smile. Was that approval, I mean she definitely knew I liked her. 'Ahg I'll think about it later.' it was too early to come to a decision. So I proceeded to postpone it and avoid Rebecca for a few more weeks but even still, every time she would give me that kind, happy smile of her's. It drove me mad, at a point I wondered if she was playing with me, though that was impossible she wasn't the type of person to play with someone's feelings.
"Tobias can you spare me a few minutes after school?" Rebecca said, her eyes firm and gentle at the same time, almost like she was scared I would run away. "Sure no problem Rebecca, I'll see you after school today." I said that but I was far from ready. I knew were this conversation was going, she gave me more than enough time. Why was I so afraid, how difficult could the situation possibly get.
"Luke do you mind waiting for me, I have something to do right now, it won't take long." I asked Luke as we prepared to leave the school. He nodded his head in agreement.I spotted Rebecca in front of her car waiting patiently for me. "Hey." She smile in response before gesturing at the car, I slid into passenger seat and she did the same. We sat there the silence turned awkward very quickly, my cowardice kept my mouth shut and she looked uncertain about what she wanted to say. *Sigh* Rebecca let at a deep sigh before clenching the steering wheel and leaning over it. I felt her frustration, her anxiety, her discord and yet I felt her happiness, her determination but even still I kept my mouth shut.
"I like you Tobias." She said the emotion raw in her voice like she'd kept it in for ages, she probably did. Her head still down, waiting but even still I kept quiet. Her shoulders slumped in defeat, my silence punished her and I hated myself for it. I was glad her head was down, one look into her eyes and I would most definitely fold. Her head shot up and she turned to me grinning, "No I don't just like you, I'm in love with you and I'll do everything possible to make you love me too." The pure determination and love in her eyes shocked me. Her eyes, I looked into her eyes and there was no going back. 'Come on Tobias now isn't the time to be quiet.' I wrestled with myself and fought against my fears, my cowardice and I worked my throat into mouthing the words that sealed my faith.
"I love you Rebecca."