As Elias' ankle neared the point of being healed enough for him to start walking again, Raphael was becoming... more touchy, to say the least. Whether it was holding hands or keeping Elias in his lap, he seemed almost glued to his side at all times. They'd settled into an almost, dare he say, domestic routine. They bickered sometimes, teased each other, and even taunted one another, but at the end of the day, they always made up, falling asleep in each other's arms.
Still, the elephant in the room remained. What were they? No one dared to ask, yet the question lingered in both their minds. That, they could ignore—at least for now. What couldn't be ignored was the fact that Elias' ankle was nearly healed, and so were the cuts on his palm. Sooner or later, they would have to confront it. And that moment came sooner than either of them expected—thanks to a call from Jaehyun.
Jaehyun had called to ask when Elias was returning. After all, his injuries should have healed by now. While the question was about work, it raised another unspoken one: when would Elias return to his place? He didn't need Raphael's help anymore, nor did he have to stay with him.
Elias knew he had to approach this delicately. It was evening, and they were sitting in the lounge. Elias was in Raphael's arms, a blanket draped over their legs. Opened takeout boxes rested in their laps, long forgotten. A movie droned on in the background. Finally, Elias spoke.
"So... Jaehyun called me. He asked when I'm returning. I told him this Monday since I'm okay now. I should... go back."
Raphael froze as the words left Elias' mouth. He'd known this moment was coming, that Elias would have to leave. But hearing him say it out loud felt like a punch to the gut. Of all the things left unaddressed between them, this felt like the final straw. There was no avoiding it anymore.
He swallowed hard, taking a deep breath to steady himself before speaking. His voice was calm, but strained. "I... see. So, Monday, huh? I'll drop you off and pick you up—"
Elias sighed, noticing how Raphael's hold on him instinctively tightened. He knew Raphael was trying to avoid the real issue, but they couldn't keep running from it.
"Raphael," Elias said softly, interrupting him. "You know I wasn't talking about returning to work. I meant going back... to my place. I can manage by myself now."
Raphael inhaled sharply, closing his eyes for a moment. Of course, he'd known this, but he'd hoped—prayed—it wouldn't come to this. He didn't want Elias to leave. Now that he had him back in his arms, he didn't want to lose him again.
"I know... I know you can manage on your own, but you've been here this whole time. It's just—" His voice faltered, the words caught in his throat. He couldn't bring himself to say what he desperately wanted to. Again.
'I don't want you to go.' The words were on the tip of his tongue, but that's as far as they went. He couldn't say them. Even if it killed him not to, he couldn't. He wanted to beg Elias to stay, to ask him to never leave this place—to never have to return to this lonely apartment. But all those feelings remained bottled up, unspoken. His eyes locked with Elias', silently pleading. 'Say something. Say anything.'
'Say you won't go. Please.'
Elias shifted uncomfortably under the weight of Raphael's gaze. He couldn't say the words either. They were both cowards. In the end, he only nodded, resting his head on Raphael's shoulder and pretending to focus on the movie. "I... see. Thank you for that. And... for everything."
Raphael wanted to laugh at that. A bitter, hollow laugh. *Thank you?* It felt like a slap in the face. A harsh one. How could Elias thank him for this? For any of this? The absurdity of it all was crushing. He could feel Elias slipping away from him, yet there was nothing he could do to stop it. He had no right to beg, no right to hold on.
So, he did the only thing he could. He leaned back, resting his chin gently on Elias' head, a tired, sad sigh escaping his lips. "Of course, love. Anything for you."
They didn't speak much after that. They stayed like that for the rest of the night, the movie playing in the background, though neither of them paid attention to it. When the credits rolled, Raphael finally broke the silence. His voice was quiet. "Love... it's pretty late. We should head to sleep."
"Mhm..." Elias murmured, nodding as he yawned. He rubbed his eyes, his movements sluggish with sleep. His head was still nestled in the crook of Raphael's neck as the other gently shifted him, pulling him closer, as if to shield him from everything. The realization hit Elias like a pang in his chest.
Raphael smiled wryly at the sight. He knew how Elias got when he was sleepy—all soft, clingy, and adorable. It was endearing and heart-wrenching at the same time.
"Come on," he said quietly, rising from the couch with Elias still in his arms. He carried him toward the bedroom, holding him tightly, as if letting go would shatter him.
"Let's get you to bed, darling."