Raphael didn't speak anymore, obviously knocked out by the combination of exhaustion, headache, fatigue, and muscle aches. His expression was slack, and for once, he looked like he wasn't thinking about anything at all. The whole "bad boy" persona was gone, and in its place was just a thirty five-something-year-old man with a fever. He looked almost peaceful when asleep. Right now, Elias wasn't looking at the high-profile lawyer, nor was he looking at the flirty, suave ex or even his patient. It was just… Raphael. For the first time.
About half an hour passed before Raphael woke up again, blinking slowly as he sat up with some difficulty due to the muscle aches. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes, his movements sluggish. It took him a minute to spot Elias, who was still sitting next to the bed, lost in thought as his hands worked with practiced precision, placing the cloth on Raphael's forehead, rinsing it and repeat. Raphael was mostly out of it, in a hazy, half-conscious state due to the medication and he started mumbling things he was most likely wishing he said years ago. "Don't… go…"
Elias, in the middle of rinsing the cloth, was snapped out of his thoughts by the sudden sound. His hands stilled mid-movement, though he wasn't too surprised. The medicine could cause slight hallucinations or subconscious speech, especially with a high fever. So, Raphael talking in his sleep wasn't particularly concerning. "Hm? Did you say something?"
Raphael, still groggy and out of it, leaned slightly against the headboard. His head lolled on his shoulder as he shifted a bit to look at Elias with half-lidded eyes. The medicine fogged his brain, jumbling his thoughts, and he spoke out in a half-asleep state, his words slightly slurred but still recognizable. "I said… mhh… don't leave…"
Elias leaned forward, nodding as if encouraging him to continue.
"I'm, I'm cold…" His mumbling became even more jumbled for a while, clearly more instinctual than coherent. Elias knew there was no point, but he leaned down, hoping to catch some more words.
"It's… cold if you go…"
"It's cold if I go?" Elias repeated with slight confusion. What did he mean? Was he in physical discomfort? "Do you want me to turn up the thermostat…? Or maybe get you a blanket?"
Raphael, even more out of it than expected, shook his head, his face scrunching up in pain as he continued in a quiet, almost desperate tone. "Don't. It's not that… Don't go… It's… So damn cold when… when you leave…" He extended a weak hand, holding Elias' palm to his cheek and nuzzling into it. " ...You're warm…"
Raphael seemed to cling to the physical contact, nuzzling Elias's palm as he continued mumbling, oblivious to how uncharacteristic his actions were. In any other situation, he would've cringed at himself, but he was too sleep-addled to care. He just wanted a point of contact, something to keep him from feeling cold and alone.
"Stay… stay with me… please… don't… go… Everyone leaves… you have to be different…"
"You're… you're warm. You always were. Like… the summer sun… Not the harsh kind, but, the soft, warm sunlight in the morning…" he continued, coughing and stumbling over his words in his sick state, his whole body shivering slightly. He leaned more against Elias, his eyes closed as he nuzzled his hand again like a puppy seeking comfort.
"You're… like the summer… warm and gentle and… perfect. You're… everything… good and… nice-" He cut himself off with a rough, dry cough, wincing slightly before he continued mumbling similar words.
Meanwhile, Elias was just… speechless. He knew better than to take Raphael's words seriously, especially now, when he was as coherent as a heavily intoxicated man. But somehow… this felt like the most genuine conversation he'd ever had with him.
"Don't… don't leave me alone… in the cold… please." His words grew increasingly slurred and disoriented, but it was clear he was panicking as the monitors began beeping, flashing as his heart rate accelerated.
Elias didn't know how to react. He himself was surprised at Raphael's behavior. Raphael had never been this… vulnerable and open in front of him before, and it was jarring to see such a strong, charming, cocky man reduced to a mumbling, half-lucid, clingy mess. Raphael was usually this smooth talking, handsome figure- one could never tell if they were looking at his true feelings or just a mask. But now… he seemed no better than a cornered child who'd been hurt too many times, daring to bare his heart again to someone.
Elias grew concerned at the sudden spike in his vitals- his heart rate and blood pressure had risen sharply. He sat there, his hand still captured in Raphael's grip as Raphael nuzzled his palm. Snapping out of his stupor, Elias's mind switched to damage control. Step one: Calm his heart rate. He tried to soothe him, rubbing his thumb against his cheek in what he hoped was a calming gesture. He said softly, "Hey… Raphael… listen to me, okay? You're panicking, and your heart is still weak…"
Raphael clung even tighter to his hand, barely processing the words. His half-lidded gaze became increasingly frantic, clearly terrified at the thought of being alone. A violent shiver wracked his whole form. Though he tried to focus on Elias's voice, it was getting harder and harder to concentrate. His mumblings got more fervent, and even harder to understand.
Elias knew he had to do something, so he said the words he probably shouldn't, given how "professional" he was supposed to be. In a quiet voice, almost as if afraid anyone else would hear, he murmured, "I… I'll stay, okay? I'll stay, just calm down. You said I'm warm, right? Then… I'll be the summer sun for you forever-"
Raphael's response was immediate. The panicked beeping and frantic shivering stopped. He relaxed, pressing a small, open-mouthed kiss to Elias's hand. Too far gone to notice, there was a soft, almost childlike smile on his face. He mumbled, "Promise? You'll- you'll stay… forever?" He didn't wait for Elias's response, but his smile faded as quickly as it had appeared. "But I'm… scared… You have to promise… promise you won't get ruined. Because I can't bear to do that to you…"
Elias froze in surprise and confusion. "…Ruined?" he repeated, blinking, not understanding. "What do you mean?"
Raphael mumbled something unintelligible, bowing his head weakly, as if he wanted to say more. Strangely, Elias didn't need further explanation as he lowered himself to Raphael's level, bringing their heads close together. Raphael let out a contented hum, shifting so his head was resting on Elias's shoulder. He looked like a tired child as he buried his face in the crook of Elias's neck, though he still seemed anxious.
He mumbled again, his voice slightly clearer this time, "I ruin people… I don't want to ruin you. People say… let them go, and if they return, they're yours. And you returned to me, angel… Does that mean you're mine?" His voice faded to a murmur by the end, barely audible, only caught because Elias's head was so close.
With that, Raphael slipped back into sleep and Elias remained seated, head bent down, with the lawyer still holding his palm to his cheek.