Chereads / Black Cat and Her Doberman Misha / Chapter 30 - 029. It's Not Me [1]

Chapter 30 - 029. It's Not Me [1]

MISHA

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She tensed up, "I'm not good with words. Writing. Only technical stuff." Why is she suddenly acting weird? "One need to be able to conceive their emotions in a perfect manner to become a good writer. If there's one thing I struggle with, it's my emotions, as you probably have noticed by now. So, no, thanks. I'll stick with reading, leave the writing for those who are able to bleed their heart out on paper."

Oh, now I get the scornful side-glare she gave me. She's shading me.

How would I now she would be so genuinely offended by what I said? Damn it, I was angry. She always say shit when she's angry, but when I do she holds grudges?

Besides, she shouldn't have talked shit about Emma, when I told how I love her sister. If she's trying to make me feel guilty, it ain't happening. I don't regret what I said.

"Now, about your little lover," my nonna Francesca purred, making her turn her eyes to her, blushing. "Does he knows you love him? Did you confess?"

Zoe Maud frowned, "Why would I do such a thing?"

"What?" We all gasped incredulous.

She blinked, "What? He should snap out of his daze and come to me."

This girl is absurdly out of this planet.

"How do you know it's one sided then? If you are such a chicken about it and never said a thing?" Emma chuckled in dismay. "Because for a relationship to work, both side need to be on the same page. If you want him to do something, you need to give him a signal."

She fully on glared at Emma, "I gave him many signals. He was too busy disliking me to notice. I love him, I want him, he's mine even though he doesn't know that yet, but I will never, never, humiliate myself for someone who doesn't even see me. He's not dumb, I wouldn't love someone dumb, he will come around one day, he will open his eyes, will do something. Then, I'll be waiting for him."

I couldn't help it, I burst out laughing, "That sound toxic as fuck."

Zoe Maud turned her glare at me and I'm pretty sure it became a death glare, "You say that because you are probably used to humiliating yourself for my sister, whose romantic affection for you are highly dubious. For all I see of you, you are so fucking pathetic, Grigori Mikhail, that would be the type to totally be open for one more person to join your so-precious relationship indefinitely, just so you could have a fake idea that you're fully loved back by her."

Ouch. "Your opinion on my relationship with your older sister means absolute nothing to me, Zoe Maud," I mocked. "Especially because you have zero experience in relationships, and your view of one is no short of distorted and toxic. Even the dogs know more about it than you do. You're like a little girl, innocent to the way of love, who believes in fairy tale types of love, and dreams with shit that are absolutely unattainable," I busted in the calmest way possible.

Everyone tensed up and she clenched her hand on the knife. I didn't. She would never harm me like that when papa is so close, and so is his marriage with her mama, who is my godmother.

She's audacious, sure, but not that much.

"Rich coming from you, Grigori Mikhail, whose relationship-"

"Enough!" Emma yelled exasperated, probably scared shitless of her sister telling everyone what she rightfully suspects about our fake relationship.

"You don't get to tell me that, Emma Luna!" She hissed at her.

"Enough, Mia!" Her mama exclaimed and she turned her gaze away from us, angered, her face red with pure fury. "No fighting in the dinner table. Let's get back to what matters. Mia, why didn't you feel the boy how you feel? When it all started?" Zia asked her, and I couldn't help but being curious.

She swallowed, still angered, "I wanted it to be natural, mama. I fell in love with him years ago, back then I was too innocent, but even so, it felt wrong to project my own emotions on someone like that. If I confessed right off the bat, he would probably freak out, and avoid me even more than he did. There would be expectations and I was…" she clenched her jaw, staring at food, "scared of being rejected. I was also shy and I didn't even talked much with him because he avoided me, I had absolutely no idea of how to approach him."

Zoe Maud? Shy and scared of rejection?

Now, that's new. Especially when since I can remember she's been always full of herself, as if there was no one in the world would ever reject her. Whoever this guy is, he must be THE guy to make her feel like that. Unbelievable.

"How old were you?" Bram asked her, as shocked as all of us.

"When?"

"When you feel for him," he clarified.

She counted her fingers, "6. I was 6 years old, yes."

"You've been in love with him for 14 years?" Leo shouted horrified. "Tell me who is it, I'm going to kick his ass. Dio santo, to think you ignored some of the hottest guys in MIT because you were in love with the asshole who doesn't even loves you back, Mia. Ugh."

"Do we know him?" Nonno Matteo Santorini frowned annoyed.

She blushed, "Yes. You all know him."

It's not me.

It's not me.

It's not me.

It can't be me.

It's. Not. Me.

"How did you know him?" Papa narrowed his eyes, naughtily.

"He's the son of one of papa's friends," IT'S NOT ME, YES!

Dio Santo, I feel relaxed and at the same time bitter.

I mean, I have no reason to feel weird like this. Maybe it's because she's being thrown aside by this boy, and even though she's in-fucking-furiating, I do care for her and he wellbeing. Even if she probably wants me dead.

"Oh?" Leo blinked confused. "You met him at 6?"

She blinked, "No, I fell in love at 6. I met him before that."

"Is he older than you?" Willem asked annoyed, arms crossed.

"Of course, why the hell would I want someone my age or younger? Guys who are older are thousands years more charming. Even if it's just a year or twenty years older," she rolled her shoulders as if it was obvious. And a part of me felt glad, because I am older than her. But it's not me.

She only has eyes for this stupid bastard who doesn't even see her. She's literally the best out of us all in here─ with me in second, of course─, and he doesn't even see her? That's absurd, even for us.

Papa choked on his drink, "How much older is he?"

"Don't tell it's more than 10 years, Mia!" Zia gasped, paler.

"Dio santo, no. He's in his twenties too, okay? Between 21 and 25, I'm not saying anything else on that. After all, you all know him, and I know you enough to know that you will definitely force your hand on it. Just because I'm the youngest here, and you have a sense that you need to protect me from the guys who hurt me. Like everyone did back in college, when they pushed all the boys away from me, scaring them away, thinking I was clueless about that. Even Leo!"

She knew? Jesus, I feel my face heating up.

"I thought we were stealthy," Pieter mocked unbothered.

"Stealthy my ass, brother. I just didn't care to tell you I knew," she scoffed.

"You knew from the beginning?" Willem grinned mischievously.

Zoe Maud glared at him, "Of course. What kind of half ass hacker you think I am?"