Special mass release for the novel's launch, 19/20.
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MIA
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He raised his eyebrows, offended, "Don't come bitching out on me, Zoe Maud. Focus your bitterness on someone else. You are just jealous that we are all in couples, all with our matches, while you are alone."
More than one person gasped at answer, and Emma fully on choked on her juice, making him quickly go to her immediately to play the amazingly good boyfriend, and I noticed how Rosa held herself not to jump over the table and go to her too. It make me furious, green with jealousy, and I'm pretty sure I had a death glare on as I watched the whole thing.
"Matches you say, hm," I mocked with a vicious sneer on my lips, and as they looked at me, they all frowned. "Funny, that really hilarious. I would crying with laughter, if it wasn't pathetic. What do you think of this, Rosalia?" She froze when I turned my eyes to her, "Do you think everyone is with their perfect matches in here? Speak your mind," I purred.
Both her, Emma, and Misha shared a suspicious look and then she glared at me, quite audacious, "Don't bring me into this, Mia."
"Oh, quite the escape you did here, just to avoid answering such a simple question, Rosa," I licked my lips. "You can keep it quiet if you want, but in the end, the truth will come out, and all the lies will be teared down."
By the look on her face, I'm definitely right. She's with Emma still.
"Stop whatever you think you're doing, Mia," Emma gasped, turning to me. "What is your problem? Leave us alone."
"My problem is you," I hissed. "All of you." Then, I laid down in my back and stared at the damn ceiling. "It's you who insisted for me to be here, if it was for me I wouldn't be here either. I know how my presence make all of you beyond uncomfortable and awkward. It's as clear as day."
"Mia!" Mama stopped me. "Don't say such a thing. We love you."
"Oh, yes, it's showing," I mocked.
"Zoe Maud, don't you start," nonna Giulia censored me.
Taking a deep breath, I put a fake smile on, "Sorry, nonna. I know you all love me so much. Dio mio, your love and compassion for me is crystalline. Pristine. You are the best in the world, I could ask for a more understanding famiglia ever.
I feel so great when with you, makes me want to float."
"Stop, Mia!" Mama yelled at me and I clenched my jaw. "Fuck. We get that you are hurt because your papa died, but he was not your only famiglia. You have us. You have all of us. Don't say shit like that, it hurts."
I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath, then I sat down again, staring at all of them, fury burning in my eyes. My lungs burning.
"Papa may not have been my only famiglia but he was the only one who was there for me. The only one who fought for me. Who helped me when I needed, and who understood me like none of you ever will. Don't mistake this, I don't hate you, I love you. But love is not enough. Loving you didn't take me anywhere, did it? No. When I needed, you were not there. Even if I shut down, there were many ways that you could have reached it out to me, without pressing me, but you didn't. Papa would have fucking jumped over my walls to get me, none of you did, none of you tried. I have you?" I mocked. "What's the use of that now if when I needed the most you left me when I first pushed you away? You think you're hurting? You have no idea how I'm hurting."
"Mia," mama gasped, heart-broken.
"Don't say anything, mama. Don't waste your precious breath on me. I'm not worthy of that. I'm just sick of this bullshit. To you papa just died, to you he just passed away. You loved him, sure, I don't doubt that. But you cannot tell me that you fucking get how I feel, because you don't. He was my favorite person in the world, as you all know, he was murdered in front of me, on my birthday. He died in my arms. His last words, only I was there to hear. He draw his last breath and heartbeat against my chest, not on yours. You all lost someone before, but don't fucking dare to say that it was the same thing, when it fucking wasn't."
Struggling to breath, I laid down again, avoiding to look at them.
"I'm happy that you are happy, mama, and that you're finally marrying the real love of your life, I am. I'm just sorry that I'm not able to express it as you deserved it. I know that it may look like I'm hating you marrying zio Ricco, that you are marrying again, but that's not it, okay? Papa was going to be engaged to Nila soon if he hadn't… passed away. You got divorced when I was 9, I'm long past that, and I always knew you were going to be better as friends. I always wanted you too to find your true loves, soulmates, or whatever you want to call it, and I'm glad yours were by your side all this time."
"Wait, you're not bothered?" Zio Ricco asked, genuinely surprised. "Not at all? Not one bit? You didn't sound happy when we told you."
I couldn't hold the giggle that broke from me, and taking a deep breath, with my mood now not as bitter as before, I sat down again, turned to him. "I love you, zio, you've always been a second papa to me, so, it's not surprising at all that you two are now getting married. My problem with your marriage has nothing to do with you two marrying, even less with mama marrying again."
Mama blushed, "So, you do have a problem with it."
"Of course, I do," I said matter-of-factly and they all gasped as if in dismay with my audacity or something. "I mean, any sane people would. Your kids literally date each other. You can't tell me it's not freaking weird. Bunch of step-siblings marrying each other. Your kids will become my step siblings, Dio mio, that's a real nightmare right there, zio."
Misha as my step-brother… I can't be obsessed with my step-brother.