"What am I looking at?" I rolled my eyes and crumpled the pamphlets Jona just handed to me.
"You were looking at information about all the different ways a woman can have a baby nowadays." He reached over the table and tried to grab the crumpled up pamphlets, but I was already tearing them to pieces. "You can try surrogacy. We both know you and Mr Greyson both have more than enough money for that. You can adopt a child who would be more than lucky to have you as a parent or you can be foster parent. There are endless ways for you to be a mom without risking your life."
We were both glaring at each other, refusing to stand down.
He's essentially repeating what Forest has been saying since we went to go see Dr Shetland. Four fucking doctors have confirmed her diagnosis. By the time we went to go see the third and fourth doctor, they were both ready to start preaching to me about my options.
Forest insisted that we hear them out each time and then he pleaded with me to kill our baby after each consultation. He's even gone as far as telling me he can't support my decision anymore. He says it's unfair of me to ask him to do such a thing.
And now, I'm also starting to waver.
What if I die ... what if I'm not as strong as I think?
I just got him back. I want to live and grow old with him, but I can't let my baby pay the price for that. How would that make me any better than my parents?
I just want someone to agree with me and tell me they understand why I'm so adamant about keeping my baby. I want someone to hold my hand and not constantly try to convince me to turn my back on my own baby.
Is that too much to ask? Isn't that what Forest is supposed to be doing? It's his baby too. Why is he so ready to say goodbye to our baby?
"You're only twenty seven years old!" He whispered over the table. "Do you know how fucking young that is? You told me you want to be the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court one day. You can't do that if you're dead!"
I fought back the tears swelling in my eyes.
I only have him and Forest. They're the only ones I trust enough to tell about this pregnancy and yet both of them have fought me every step of the way. I'm fighting them, I'm fighting for my baby, I'm fighting the Mitchells. I'm just tired of constantly fighting.
Fuck!
For a second I considered telling Mama Grey. Everyday, I'm more convinced that maybe I should tell her, but I can't do that to her. If I lose my baby, I don't want to put her through something like that.
... but I think she'll understand why I'm doing this ... I don't think she'll fight me.
We're barely managing to keep this pregnancy a secret since Lauren threatened me and my baby. Her disciplinary hearing is so serious that every shareholder gets a link to the hearing each day. They all got a link to that video. The only reason Mama Grey and Annabelle haven't called is probably because they haven't seen that video yet. They never liked how cold the business world can be so they left it to Forest and Christian to deal with Greyson Corporation.
.. but it's still just a matter of time before they find out ... it's better if they find out from me, right?
I mean, Forest has tried everything he can to stop the news of my pregnancy from spreading. He's done such a good job that my firm doesn't even know about it yet and those people know everything. If Christian has watched the video, he hasn't shown it. He still hates me, except now he's forced to work with me.
I looked back at Jona's angry brown eyes and decided to focus on my plate of broccoli sauce and chicken schnitzel.
Fucking pregnancy hormones make me want to cry about everything!
I took one bite after the other instead of returning his scornful gaze, but only managed to take three more bites before returning to those angry brown eyes looking back at me. His plate was almost finished, but I had barely started with my food.
If I could, I'd scream at both him and Forest. I'd scream at them for making me feel so alone. I'd scream at Forest for not even wanting to buy a single pair of baby shoes with me.
But I'll shove it all down my throat because that's what I do. That's what Charlotte Ericsson does.
I'll shove down the fact that I'm not even sure if I can trust a single doctor in this country. I've vetted them over and over again, but there's no telling how far the Mitchell's reach is. I'll shove down the fact that the one thing I tried to hide so hard, Lauren and her family were able to find out within a month.
I'm a spec of dust compared to the influence that family has.
I might be healthy. I might not need that operation. They might have forced all the doctors we've seen thus far to give that diagnosis.
No.
I took a deep breath.
I'm getting paranoid and now I'm spiralling. I need to stop and think clearly.
If the Mitchells are powerful enough to know which doctor I'm going to and if they are powerful enough to make those doctors perform a lifethreatening operation on a pregnant woman, then they deserve to win. I've done all I can from my side. If they're behind five of the best doctors in this country confirming a false diagnosis, then they deserve to win.
"I'm not talking about this anymore." I took another deep breath. I was calming down. I've done all I can to protect my baby. No one can say I wavered when it came to this child, my child.
"And since I've said this to you plenty of times before, let me take this opportunity to make myself crystal clear." I put my fork and knife down and a sinister smile crept up on my face; a smile I never thought would be directed at him. "From now on, anyone who tells me to give up my baby will be regarded as an enemy. I will cut you out of my life if we have this conversation again, Jona. Am I clear?"
All the anger and rage faded from his eyes and got replaced by defeat.
He slumped in his chair and dropped his utensils on his plate.
"I can't lose you." He whispered while looking to his side. "I love you so much, Char. You are my heart and all I want to do is protect you. Please," he still avoided looking at me, "don't do this. You are my family. You chose me as your family and I chose you as mine. Please don't make me lose my family. I promise you, I won't survive it."
I stood from my chair and bent down in front of his chair.
This man saved me from my father. He could have run away, but he decided to take on a man twice his size on his own. I don't know what happened when he found me because I was seconds away from being unconscious. What I do know is that he was a stranger and now he's family.
When I woke up in hospital, for a few days I didn't know who I was. I was scared and even tried to run, but Jona calmed me down.
His eyes had a familiarity that made me feel safe. Sometimes it was like looking into my own eyes.
We understood each other from day one and moved perfectly in sync.
At work most people can't keep up with me and that's okay, but Jona and I run at the same speed. Words are sometimes unnecessary and over the years, we just found ourselves working as one. He knows everything and I know everything. We just click.
He should be partner by now. Gosh, he's one of the most brilliant people I've ever met, but he refuses to part with me and insists that he be my assistant instead of climbing up the corporate ladder himself.
Every other partner has at least one senior associate and two juniors, but I know I don't need a senior associate. Jona works at the level of a partner and once he comes back, he and I will fall right back into rhythm again.
This time, I'll convince him to do something for himself for once in the past five years that I've known him. After Lauren's hearing, I'll talk him into chasing his own dreams and I'll beg him to stop putting me first. That's what Jona does. He always puts me first.
"Look at me." I beckoned. "I love you, Jona. The only good thing that came out of what happened with my dad, is that it somehow led me to you. I won't die. I'm strong. You know that. You've seen it. I fall, but I always get up. That's what you taught me, remember? You told me to never give up. You told me to always fight and that's what I'm doing right now."
I was holding his hand even though he still refused to look at me. He was trying to hide the fact that he was crying.
I've only ever seen the man cry once - the first time I woke up in hospital.
"Okay." He wiped away his tears without looking at me.
"You should get back to your seat." He chuckled. "Nigel says the food here is terrific and you've barely taken five bites out of yours."
I got up and made my way to my chair. I couldn't really focus on my food anymore. I was already reading through the documents he sent me.
"I have to admit," I continued swiping through my ipad, "I expected Sandra and Justin to reunite, but I didn't think they'd have a full blown relationship while he's still married."
He finished his food and took another sip of his drink.
"She says she loves him." He looked just as surprised as me. "I guess the fact that he married the girl he told her she didn't need to worry about and had kids with her is not enough to make her consider being with someone else."
We both gave each other a knowing look.
Sandra is more forgivng than most, that's for sure. I'm not sure if I would have had the strength to go back to a man who married someone he assured me was only his friend and then had kids with her. He'd be dead to me.
"She doesn't think any of the kids are Justin's." He added with an uncertain look. "He told her he doesn't remember ever sleeping with Lisa. In fact, he's positive they've never had sex. As soon as their kids return from boarding school, he's going to have that paternity test. He's certain it will prove he's not the father."
A shudder went down my back.
Everyone knows how upset Justin was after Sandra left. He tried reaching out to her, but she had him blocked everywhere. After a month, he was ready to jump on a plane and search the entirety of Europe for her, but Lisa and his family stopped him. Too much was on the line for him and chasing after a girl was going to ruin his career. So he stayed, put on a smile for the cameras and married the woman who would get him far in his political career.
I expected Sandra's return to be enough to for him to finally divorce Lisa, but I thought it would take longer. I thought he'd still be coaxing Sandra and begging for forgiveness, but that doesn't seem to be the case. The man has already announced that he and his wife have separated and he's flaunting Sandra every chance he gets.
"You okay?" He asked me. His voice sounded a bit too slurred for my liking. He's only had two glasses of wine. He can't be drunk just from that.
"Mmm." I nodded. "I'm just worried about the kids. They're innocent and now I'm punishing them as well."
"Go to 'Image Co-chair' in the documents I sent you." He said slowly.
I went to have a look at the picture.
It was a picture of Brandon Scott, Lisa's co-chair in all the charities she runs on behalf of her family. The man also has blonde hair and blue eyes, just like Lisa and Justin. He looks a bit leaner than Justin, but other than that, he's also just a generic-looking man with blonde hair and blue eyes.
"I think ..." He slurred his words again. "I think Lisa is sleeping with ..."
"Jona?" I ran to his chair. "Jona, what's wrong?" I started shaking him.
"I ... don't feel ... well ... Char." He started swaying in his head. "I ... think ... I..."
I started calling 911 immediately.
I barely had a chance to finish speaking to the operator before five fully grown men, wearing black suits and sunglasses barged inside the restaurant, almost flinging people out of their way.
Two of them grabbed Jona while people screamed and started dragging his limp body away.
"No!" I shouted and screamed while the other two blocked my way to him. "No! Take me!" A guttural scream exploded from deep inside me. "I'm the one you want. I'm Charlotte Ericsson! Take me!"