It's raining today.
Gosh, I hate the rain.
Mom and dad loved leaving me out in the rain. They called it nature's bath. Curly hair and a whole night of rainfall don't go hand in hand with one another. I'm surprised my hair survived all that.
"You okay?" I felt his warm hand on mine while I looked out of the window.
I smiled and curled back into his chest.
I'm supposed to be getting out of the car because we've arrived at work. However, I'm not that excited about going to work today. Besides the fact that I hate not being home when it's raining, I also generally feel crappy nowadays. My breasts are swore, my back aches, I'm tired most of the time and I'm just more irritable nowadays.
He chuckled and put me in his lap.
My head was buried in his neck and he was holding me, caressing me while I inhaled his magnificent scent and bit his neck ever so gently.
I wanted to fall asleep in his arms. These days that's the only thing that makes me feel better - being in his arms. I usually run to go hide in my work. I can shut everything out when I'm working. Work is complex, interesting and so voluminous that it doesn't leave much room for anything else. However, two weeks ago I was told that I can't carry my own baby.
Women were literally created to be able to do this and of course, I can't do it.
And now work is no longer enough. It hasn't been enough for quite some time, but now the only time I feel hidden from everything is when Forest is holding me. An hour doesn't go by at home without me disturbing him in his study to just have him hold me. It's gotten so bad that I keep following him around like a shadow; even Christian has noticed.
I feel so pathetic.
The car suddenly started moving and I looked up at him.
"Where are we going?" I asked him.
"We'll work from home today." He smiled at me. "I just have to fetch something from the office then we'll head back."
I crawled into his arms even more and started licking and kissing his neck.
How does he do this? How does he know exactly what I need before I do? How does he love me? Why does Forest love me?
"We'll spend an hour or two cuddled up in bed or on the couch", he tilted my head upwards and kissed me softly, "then we'll start working. I want you working with me in my study today. Is that okay with you?"
I nodded.
Of course that's okay with me. That's the best thing that I could ask for, ever. I'll work so much better with him by my side.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry ... I don't know why I'm acting so-"
He kissed me. He kissed me slowly and tenderly and my tongue let his lead me while I groaned and pressed my body hard against him. His hand was caressing my behind, squeezing it every now and then while my hands caressed his neck and chest.
Goodness, I love this man. I love this man so much. I just want to be enough for him. I want to be a woman who will be able to handle his world and take care of our kids. But I've already failed. I failed before I even knew what game I was playing.
"You are perfect." His deep voice breathed into my mouth. "Stop thinking that there's anything strange about how you're acting. You need me and I need you. That's all there is to it."
I grabbed a fistful of his shirt in my hand.
Why can't he see how broken I am? How, how can he look at me like that ... like I'm worthy of him looking at me like that ... like I'm not broken ... like I deserve to be loved.
"How do you do that?" I hid my face in the crook of his neck again. "How - how can you love someone like me, Forest? I don't even love me. I've tried, but I can't do it, so why do you make it seem so easy to love me? To love someone who can never be fixed?"
His fingers were laced in my hair. Everything about Forest is so soothing and calming. He was still as calm as ever. My heart was in my throat, but this conversation wasn't making him nervous in the slightest bit. He's always so in control of his emotions.
I'm the one who gets angry, furious and downright pissed, but Forest is just always so calm. There could be a storm strong enough to uproot mountains, but Forest is just always calm; even his anger is always controlled.
He'd never punch someone.
"I've never needed a reason to love you, Charlotte. I just do." He made me look up at him and I found those dark green eyes waiting to make everything okay. "I will keep loving you until the end of time and one day you'll be able to love yourself. I promise. You are the most incredible person I've ever met. I saw you and I just knew I had met my wife. You knew you had met your husband, right?"
I chuckled and kissed him.
It's always been him. Even when he didn't see me, I saw him.
Someone got me into that private school when I was only seven years old. Dad and mom kept me dirty and beaten while I attended school with some of the richest kids in the country. Not a single adult tried to help me. I think they were all too afraid of dad, so they just watched me get humiliated day by day.
I smelled. I had new wounds and scars each day and my hair ... gosh ... what monster doesn't take care of a little girl's hair?
That was the worst of it. I could live with the dirty clothes, not getting fed, being locked outside and getting beaten day after day, but did mom really have to let me go anywhere with my hair looking like that?
I wish I could kill Charlene Ericsson and Brian Kim. I truly wish I could kill them with both of my hands.
Everyone took out their frustrations on me during those two years. Most rich kids either get no attention or way too much attention from their parents. I found out as a kid that no matter the category they fall in, they'll most likely be too happy to bully a dirty poor kid. I couldn't really blame them, but still, those kids were so cruel.
All of them, except Forest.
He never bullied the dirty kid in class; not even once. And when he saw someone bothering me, he'd tell them to stop and they listened. Even then, he was already a leader without trying. He also didn't want to touch me or get too close to me because of how dirty I was, but I appreciated that he didn't want to hurt me.
That was enough for me - someone not wanting to hurt me. I was invisible to him at that point, but being invisible to someone was a kindness. Each time I got seen, I got hurt.
"Of course I knew I had met my husband when I saw you!" I kissed him again, making sure to take my time because I might not get to kiss him ever again after my surgery. "I always knew it was you, Forest. It will only ever be you."
His lips trailed down to my neck and then to my chest.
I hated my dress for making it so hard for him to get to one of my breasts. I need him to take me right now. I just want him to make love to me and hold me and tell me I'm his.
"We'll have to wait until we get back home." I heard the amused deep chuckle in his chest while I fidgeted with my dress. "We're here. Do you want to come upstairs with me? You can say hi to Jona."
"Sure!" I didn't bother trying to hide my excitement.
He took my hand and led me inside the gigantic skyscraper.
I was walking closely behind him and gosh I felt untouchable. People shuddered when he passed by them. One look from him seems to be enough to make someone walk faster, look away in terror or stumble on their feet.
Seeing him put the fear of God in people without even trying made the man at least ten times more attractive than he already is.
"Char!" I heard Jona's voice closeby. He was holding a cup of coffee and looked much too tired.
"Hey!" I immediately went to give him a hug.
It took me three years to be able to hug him. Even after I found out he isn't interested in women, I couldn't get myself to allow him to touch me. It's only Forest that I've ever allowed to touch me.
I still remember my first day in third grade.
I had gotten placed in fostercare because someone finally stood up to my dad. It wasn't the best home, but it was a five star hotel for me. There was an older kid there. She bathed me, washed my hair and even tried to comb it. I wore donated clothes, but I didn't care because they were clean clothes.
The teacher was kind enough to introduce me as a new student so I'd have a fresh start. I was in the same class as those kids for two years, but not a single one of them recognised me as the dirty kid they used to bully. They didn't even care to ask what happened to that kid.
I decided to change my story right there and then - I would never be a victim ever again. I knew I had to pull out the stops and impress them before they turned me into their punching bag. I wasn't going to let them hurt me ever again and I wasn't going to let my parents hurt me ever again.
All my defences were up, but when Forest kept looking at me, they all went down. He was looking at me like I'm a person, and then he grabbed my hand and ran out of the class with me.
I don't know why, but I ran with him. He made me feel like a person so I ran behind him. Everyday, I waited for him to realise that I wasn't actually a person like him. I waited for him to see me the way I see myself, the way my parents see me, but he never did.
Forest just loved me as if I deserved it.
"Not going to work today?" Jona asked me.
I was about to answer him, but Forest answered for me. "We're going to work from home today. I'm just here to get a few things."
Jona's expression remained unchanged, but I could tell that he was judging me. I just made partner. Now is not the time to be taking it easy. I need to be laying the foundations for the rest of my career right now. I shouldn't be working from home. I need to be the first one in the office and the last one to leave.
"It's just for today, Jona." I tried to reassure him. "I'll be back at work tomorrow."
"Or not." Forest said calmly. "If you never go into the office again, that's okay. If you choose to work from home or choose to never work again, that's also okay. Right, Jona?"
I could tell he was doing everything he could to stop himself from rolling his eyes. He's probably so unimpressed with me right now. Our incessant need to constantly work is one of the things that bonded us.
"Yeah." He stifled a sigh. "Char, whatever you think is best for you is what you should do. You know I just want you to be happy, right?"
"I know." I tried to hide how surprised I was. If this were someone else, I'd think they're lying, but Jona won't waste time lying just to spare someone's feelings. He regards it as a futile exercise.
He hugged me again and went back to finishing his cup of coffee.
Forest kept me close while he led me to his floor. I loved it. I wanted more of it.
We greeted Melissa when we arrived, but by this point I couldn't get to his office fast enough. He locked it the second we stepped inside and pinned me against a wall. He was kissing me, licking my neck and caressing my breasts and behind.
I cried for him to take off his suit jacket and then started unbuttoning his shirt.
"You're always so impatient." He teased me. "Can you really not wait until we get home?"
I shook my head and unbuttoned more buttons.
"Your office is soundproof." I muttered in his ear. "No one will hear us. I need you, Forest. I need you to touch me, hold me and make love to me. Please. Please, Forest."
His hand was about to unzip the back of my dress. One of my legs was already wrapped around him while he pinned me to the wall. He was about to...
But then some idiot tried opening the locked door.
Fuck.
He stopped, looked at me and then looked at the door because whoever it was, was still trying to open the fucking CEO's locked office.
"Lucas!" Her shrill voice poured cold water on what was supposed to be a fiery, passionate and intimate moment. "Lucas, please open this door. I need to talk to you!"
I started buttoning up his shirt angrily and fixing his hair. The moment is gone. Lauren Mitchell can ruin anything.
He tried kissing me again, but I couldn't kiss him back.
No matter how hard I try, there's this little voice in my head that keeps telling me I'm the odd one out, I'm the one who doesn't belong. The two of them together could probably take over the world. Lauren doesn't need to be smart or capable. Her family name will do the work for her while she pouts and cries about who knows what.
"She's here because I've pushed her father out of the company." He chuckled when he noticed my angry scowl. "And she's also here because no one in this country will ever invest or touch anything that has the Mitchell name on it ever again."
He grabbed me by the waist and pushed my lower body against his.
He moves quickly, faster than me. I should expect this after he saw the video of yesterday's disciplinary hearing; especially what happened after the hearing. He saw Lauren talk about my pregnancy and me and my baby dying and within a few minutes, he was destroying the Mitchell name with a few phone calls.
Jona and I are using the law to take down the Mitchells, but Forest is using something else.
"Don't worry." His thumb trailed my lower lip. "You and Jona can still have your fun, but I'm only giving you a month...maybe two. After that, I'm ending the Mitchell empire myself."
He kissed me and this time I wrapped my arms around his neck.
What did I do to deserve this man?
I stood behind him as he opened his office door.
A thin blonde woman with weak, blue eyes and a navy blue dress that washed out her skin, stood behind the door with a shocked and devastated look on her face.
She's about to cry again. Lauren is always about to cry.
Melissa and two security guards stood behind her. The security guards grabbed her while Forest and I watched.
"Maybe you should tell them to let her go." I stood on my toes and tried to reach his ear.
"Why?" He asked loud enough for everyone to hear over Lauren's cries and struggle. "Who tries to break into the CEO's office? For all I know she was trying to steal confidential information for her father or trying to plant something on me. Why should I tell them to let her go, Charlotte? Give me one good reason."
I couldn't answer him. I didn't have a reason for letting her stay. I might punch her again if she does.
He closed the door while she cried and struggled as the two security guards dragged her away.
Once the door was closed, he turned around to face me and the anger on his face made me take a few steps back.
"You don't get to tell me to let go of someone who threatens my family." He took a deep breath and although he was trying to hide his anger, he was doing a terrible job.
He's pissed.
"I let you keep your secrets, Charlotte. I let you go after the Mitchells. I let you do whatever you want because I love you and trust you. However, don't mistake all the things I allow you to do for ignorance or oversight. No one tells me how to deal with my enemies; not even you."
He kissed my forehead without letting me respond. Then he went to one of the shelves in his office, grabbed a book and a file and took my hand again.
My dress was torn five minutes after we got inside the car.
This is the worst kind of dress for having sex in a car. The fabric is too stubborn. I struggled to push it up to my waist, so Forest got impatient and pushed it up by force, causing a tear that's much too big.
"I'll get you a thousand new dresses." He pushed me further up his groin when I scowled at the tear in my dress. "You're the one who's always so impatient."
"The dress has a zip on the back." I crashed my lips against his and he started unzipping the dress and laughing while I moaned into his mouth.
"Always so impatient." He teased in between kisses.