Aaaaahh, Yup that's me, your probably wondering how I got into this situation. Doused in coffee with no pants a black eye and a less than tasteful, Female body inspector, shirt all while barreling down the I-95 towards a speeding truck in my boss's brand new C-class. In a word... drugs.
Panicked, Derick watched as the truck collided with him and for a moment the world went quiet. He couldn't hear the loud sound of metal scraping against the tarmac nor could he feel the shattered glass that dug its way through his skin like a hot knife through butter. The smell of burning gasoline and the warm orange of the flames didn't reach him either, in the split second before his death the only thing he was able to notice was the distinct lack of a driver in the truck, and then darkness.
Derick woke up in what seemed like the hall of a castle the roof of which seemed so high they might as well not exist. Dimmed balls of yellow light hung from chains, lighting the place's interior. To his right was a seemingly endless row of seated people each with a suitcase placed on their laps. Their facial features were smooth like marble, faceless. To his left an endless amount of empty chairs all of which stopped at himself. For some reason despite finding this all very peculiar, he felt at peace as if all this was just natural.
Ding all of a sudden he heard the sound of a chime and felt compelled to move he raised the suitcase from his lap and began to walk down a corridor towards a single door that glowed a calming blue light but right before his hand could touch the handle he felt as if his body was suddenly pulled back his everything being pulled through a hole the size of a needle and all of a sudden he was himself again.
"What the fuck was that!" Derick was every type of confused he started touching every part of his body, especially his face, and breathed a sigh of relief when it felt normal. He looked around the room and noticed an office and a pretty fancy one at that.
The type of office he imagined a mega douche investment banker would have down to the obligatory Newton's cradle and The type of mini bar that made you wonder if we were just throwing around the word "mini" now. Walking closer though the contents of the bottle were anything but normal. The clear bottle seemed to have a small universe floating inside each light felt like a cosmos as it rippled and flared into unimaginable colors and shades. Derick was lost inside the bottle for longer than he would like to admit, so much so that he didn't notice the 8ft tall giant that hovered above his.
"Beautiful isn't it," he said looking at Derrick with a crazed smile. "haa!" startled, Derick jumped a couple of steps back. "No need for the theatrics" Click, the man snapped his finger, and instantly Derrick was seated on a chair in front of the desk watching as the man paced back and forth while reading a file.
" Derick Gallagher why are you in my office today" he continued pacing as Derick watched, studying his face. The man had a lighter complexion but for some reason calling him white just didn't feel right. White people don't usually glow, and boy did he glow. His hair like strands of gold was neatly packed and his face was weird. His features felt exaggerated, unnatural almost like a clown.
Derrick's moments of contemplation were cut short when the man roaring burst into laughter. "haahaahahahahahah" he sat down and set his disturbing stare at Derick "Well Mister Gallagher it seems you might just be the universe's greatest joke, you in one night, built up the most negative karma ever recorded on your little blue planet outside of war and somehow in even faster time you made it all back and then some." no at this point derrick was sufficiently confused however the man continued. " that little truck you hit happen to belong to the destruction administrator or I guess you would call him a god, anyway that truck was the first peace in what would have eventually become your worlds third-largest war."
Derrick sat there wide-eyed staring into the abyss as the fact that he stopped World War Three sank in. " You see we administrators don't actively act in the land of the living no, we just send out little coincidences small shifts in fate that lead to the desired outcome, my personal favorite is the bee that sunk the Titanic, anyway since you single-handedly saved a generation of human congratulations are in order," he said as he pulled the bottle of who knows what and poured two glasses.
Derick picked up the glass and drank, mostly because he felt he had to, and was pleasantly surprised when it tasted like whiskey had a love child with vanilla ice cream " So what happens now?" he said looking at the man in front of him." what happens mister Gallagher is that you enjoy the rest of your existence, trust me it's gonna be a fun one." he snapped his fingers and again the world turned black.
---
Derick woke up floating in the abyss he didn't know how long he was out, but it was definitely not short.
Just then a glowing blue panel manifested right in front of him with words from a typewriter, however, being the degenerate weeb that he was, he knew exactly what this was... A SYSTEM!
[welcome host to the gacha roulette system!]
[would the host like to spin for home world?] [Y:N]
With all the penitence of a kindergartener in front of an ice-cream truck. Derick immediately tried to press the yes button before his hand passed right through the screen. He let out a totally real not at all embarrassed cough as he turned around to check if anyone saw. 'ok Mabey I need to speak' he cleared his throat and let out a loud" yes" but after a good 5 seconds of silence, he realized that mabey he should just think about choosing yes and the moment he did.
[Thank you host]
Derick watched as a roulette the size of a building appeared with all sorts of worlds he'd seen in Movies, TV, Comics, and even Webnovels. He watched as the needle passed novel Supreme Magus and breathed a sigh of relief, although he loved the book the world was almost as dangerous as they came or so he thought. The roulette began to slow down as it passed worlds like Star Wars, Steven Universe, Zelda, and even The Office.
But when he saw the How To Train Your Dragon world he froze. He had read the books when he was a kid and even loved the movie. Yes, it was dangerous but if he could get to grow up with the Vikings he would be at peace. the needle hovered over the How To Train Your Dragon world and almost came to a standstill causing Derick to start celebrating. " yes! yes! yes!"
The problem came when the needle kept moving. "no! no! no!" Under the sound of his sobs, the needle came to a stop.
[ Homeworld selected: Young justice]
"aaah hell no!" 'So much for a fun life.'